HeMateMe: <TP> was probably active in the singles bars, when Madonna was rolling. It's always the best time when you were young, even if the music wasn't all that great.
Madonna: Lourdes, you will NOT become a smoker, that's disgusting and unhealthy!
Lourdes: But Mom, you posed naked on Sunset Strip (the SEX book) and you worked as a nude model! Isn't that much worse than my being a cigarette smoker?
Madonna: I worked as a nude sketch model to pay-the-bills! We have enough money now, we can pay people to FART for us, for Gods sake!
As for the nude photos, that was business, just a commercial venture to try and make people forget that I can't sing.
Lourdes: Well *speaking* of GOD, mom, what was that business with you on the burning cross in the "Like a Prayer" video? That seemed like you were just exploiting religion, and insulting consevatives to try and drum up attention for a new album?!
Is that an example of behavior I should be ok with?
Madonna: Listen KIDDO...those were just career moves to get attention. I can't sing like Michael Jackson, can't write songs like Paul McCartney and can't dance like Paula Abdul did. I had to do SOMETHING to make it!
Besides, you're just trying to "be part of a crowd" by smoking, it's not something you *have* to do, like I had to rub the Puerto Rico flag across my crotch. You have a choice, in how you behave, I didn't!
lourdes: Did you CHOOSE my father, or did he choose you, late one night!?
Madonna: You little B****!
[WHAP] [Lourdes blocks Madonna's attempt to slap her]
Lourdes: Well...it looks like I inherited my father's physical reflexes. Was this a Dennis Rodman thing, Mom? Did you and Dad get married for five minutes?
Madonna: Lourdes, you just DON'T get it! I'm from Michigan! Everyone here is extremely sex deprived--its the poor weather and the biphenyl chemicals from the auto plants--when I got out of Michigan and made it to New York City, I really DID feel like a virgin, making love for the very first time--that's why my music is so trashy-sex oriented, because there was no good bedding to be had in Dearborn!
Lourdes: Ok Mom, lets have a truce here. I promise to quit smoking, if you promise not to steal my boyfriends...deal?
Madonna: You have a boyfriend?
Lourdes: Yeah, his name is Ramone. He's a dancer from the Islands. Just missed out on joining Menudo.
Madonna: Hmmm...I bet he's skinny with a great butt?
Lourdes: OMG, you have to see him in in dance tights. Its like a perfect...wait a minute...Mom, you PROMISED! Hands Off!