L-U-V Madonna!

I am a huge Madonna fan and especially enjoy her first five albums - "Madonna" "Like a Virgin" "True Blue" "Like a Prayer" & "Erotica" - and could listen to them start to finish over and over again. Her later albums were more spotty, with some duds and misses, and "American Pie" was a disaster. I thought "Evita" was fantastic and she was criminally overlooked for an Academy Award nomination, particularly after winning a Golden Globe for that role.

Speaking of relevance, she just did the Superbowl halftime show. You can't get more relevant than that.

Madonna: Lourdes, you will NOT become a smoker, that's disgusting and unhealthy!

Lourdes: But Mom, you posed naked on Sunset Strip (the SEX book) and you worked as a nude model! Isn't that much worse than my being a cigarette smoker?

Madonna: I worked as a nude sketch model to pay-the-bills! We have enough money now, we can pay people to FART for us, for Gods sake!

As for the nude photos, that was business, just a commercial venture to try and make people forget that I can't sing.

Lourdes: Well *speaking* of GOD, mom, what was that business with you on the burning cross in the "Like a Prayer" video? That seemed like you were just exploiting religion, and insulting consevatives to try and drum up attention for a new album?! Is that an example of behavior I should be ok with?

Madonna: Listen KIDDO...those were just career moves to get attention. I can't sing like Michael Jackson, can't write songs like Paul McCartney and can't dance like Paula Abdul did. I had to do SOMETHING to make it!

Besides, you're just trying to "be part of a crowd" by smoking, it's not something you *have* to do, like I had to rub the Puerto Rico flag across my crotch. You have a choice, in how you behave, I didn't!

lourdes: Did you CHOOSE my father, or did he choose you, late one night!?

Madonna: You little B****!

[WHAP] [Lourdes blocks Madonna's attempt to slap her]

Lourdes: Well...it looks like I inherited my father's physical reflexes. Was this a Dennis Rodman thing, Mom? Did you and Dad get married for five minutes?

Madonna: Lourdes, you just DON'T get it! I'm from Michigan! Everyone here is extremely sex deprived--its the poor weather and the biphenyl chemicals from the auto plants--when I got out of Michigan and made it to New York City, I really DID feel like a virgin, making love for the very first time--that's why my music is so trashy-sex oriented, because there was no good bedding to be had in Dearborn!

Lourdes: Ok Mom, lets have a truce here. I promise to quit smoking, if you promise not to steal my boyfriends...deal?

Madonna: You have a boyfriend?

Lourdes: Yeah, his name is Ramone. He's a dancer from the Islands. Just missed out on joining Menudo.

Madonna: Hmmm...I bet he's skinny with a great butt?

Warning, may not be safe for work o.O

Some highlights:

On Steinitz: <<fascist> Heb. races. : וילהלם שטייניץ, name correctly read "Steinitz", but @#$% all

<At the end of the life of ill mental disorder, and thought that playing chess with Gd , and wins. When asked about how he did it, Steinitz said, "Gd is very strong. But he did not want to recognize me and always give equal odds. ">>

On Kasparov: