Yes, that's the question. It is late in the game and your opponent is steadily strangling you. Mate isn't yet on the board, but it's only a matter of time. As some folks put it in the vernacular, you are getting your botty whupped.

But you are a player of chess, a man (or woman) of deep cunning and strategy. A thinker, a planner, a schemer.

And so your mind starts to ponder your options. The strategic plan is clear - you are going to lose, but you need to find a way to lose that minmises the shame, the horror, the wasted hours.

But what to do? How can we extricate ourselves with maximum dignity?

Of course, there's the Von Bardelebem approach - walk out of the room as if going to the loo and never come back. Nasty. Mind you, it is a fitting irony that Curt Von Bardeleben committed suicide by self-defenestration, aka throwing himself out of a window. I suppose he had a thing for unusual exits.

Alternatively, you could leap onto the nearest table and cry: "Gegen diesen Idioten muss ich verlieren!" Or, in English, "Why must I lose to this idiot?". On second thoughts, best to leave that one to Nimzo.

If you want to look learned in defeat, you could say something like: "That looks like the finish of Fischer versus Xena Onatopp, Mar Del Plata, 1963, don't you think?" And no-one will dare admit that they don't know the game (possibly because you've just made it up).

A really really sneaky method, if you've got lots of time on the clock, is to sink into a very deep think. Eventually, the spectators will get bored and wander off to look at another game. And at the point when you have the least witnesses you quickly turn your king over, say "sorry, I've got a train to catch" and run out of the hall as fast as your little legs will carry you.

Or there's the calculated early resignation. Way before mate is inevitable, you say something like. "Well, that's very clever. I make it mate in seventeen." And although you have lost, you might impress everyone around you with your calculating abilities.

24.Rh7+! leads to mate with a forcing continuation that exercises longer distance visualization skills:

24... Kxh7 (K-other 25.Qxf7#) 25.Qxf7+ Kh6 (Kh8 28.Rh1#) 26.Rh1+ Kg5 27.f4+ Kg4 28.Qxg6+ Kxf4 29.Rf1+ Ke3 (Ke5 30.Qg5+ Kd4 31.Rd1+ Kxe4 [Kc3 32.Qd2#] 32.Re1+ Kd4 33.Qe3#) 30.Qg5+ Kd4 (Kf2 31.Rf1#) 31.Rd1+ Kxe4 32.Re1+ Qe3 33.Rxe3+ Kd4 34.c3#

Its a simple check and mate in a few moves.

29. ... Kf2 30. Rf1#

29. ... Kd4 30. Rd1+ Kc3 31. Rd3+ Kb4 32. c3#>

a. 28...Ke5 29. Qg5+ Kd4 30. Rd1+ Kc3 31. Rd3+ (I missed the immediate mate with 31. Qd2) Kb4 32. c3#

24 Qh6+ Kf6 25 e5 dxe5 26 Qh4+ Kg7 27 Qh7+ Kf6 28 Rxd7! (threatening mate in 2).

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Now, 28...Qe3+ 29 Kb1 Rf8 30 Qh4+ Qg5 31 Qxg5+ Kxg5 32 Ka2 and white should be up a piece for a pawn after taking the a3 pawn.

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If black plays Kf8 on move 25