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Wesley So vs Shakhriyar Mamedyarov
Gashimov Memorial (2017), Shamkir AZE, rd 1, Apr-21
Scotch Game: Mieses Variation (C45)  ·  0-1
ANALYSIS [x]

FEN COPIED

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Kibitzer's Corner
< Earlier Kibitzing  · PAGE 4 OF 4 ·  Later Kibitzing>
Apr-29-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  Gregor Samsa Mendel: <tamar>--So you're not the mother of the lead singer of The Bangles?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tamar...

Apr-29-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  tamar: <Gregor Samsa Mendel> not unless her mother was her father
Apr-29-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  ChessHigherCat: <Tamar> I remember once when I was an undergraduate I was having dinner with some "new age" people and this guy gave me a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for a pun:

Sprinkling some tamara sauce on his kasha, he said: "I don't know what I'd do without tamara". "Simple", I replied. "You'd eat like there's no tammara'.

I just checked on Google and the main spelling is "tamari sauce" but "tamara" looks like a common alternate spelling and that's how everybody pronounced it back then. "Like there's no tomorry" would work, too, with a Slim Pickens accent.

Apr-29-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  tamar: <ChessHigherCat> There used to be a Professor Samora from India who was a friend of my friend and invited for Thanksgiving

I was awaiting the opportunity to ask "Samora the turkey?" but got cold feet.

Apr-29-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  ChessHigherCat: <tamar I was awaiting the opportunity to ask "Samora the turkey?" but got cold feet.>

And a good thing, too! He probably would have reacted like the guy in this joke:

The principal calls a depressed little boy with a wooden eye to his office and says, "I'm really sorry you don't have a date for the prom. Tommy, why don't you ask Sally with the harelip to accompany you, I'm sure she'd love to go".

So the boy walks up to her shyly and asks: "Sally, would you like to go to the prom?" Bursting with joy she cries out: "Would I? Would I" Tommy slaps her in the face and retorts: "Hare lip! Hare lip!

In French they talk about "l'esprit de l'escalier", meaning some witty reply you should have made at the party but it's too late now because you're already in the stairway. Anyway, from my experience, on the rare occasions when I did think of the perfect repartee at the right time people held a grudge against me forever.

Apr-29-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  tamar: That's quite true, CHC. My greatest ripostes are met with strange looks.

A box came from Belize with carved egrets for a birthday party. But it had no card.

My friend was happy to get them from her friend Sally, but said she would have even more liked to hear from her.

I thought for awhile while the party went on, and then pointed to the birds and said, "Oh well, she couldn't come herself, but sent her egrets"

She stared at me, and said, "it took you 15 minutes to think of that?"

Apr-29-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  ChessHigherCat: <tamar> LOL. Pearls before swine.
Apr-29-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  moronovich: <Sprinkling some tamara sauce on his kasha, he said: "I don't know what I'd do without tamara". "Simple", I replied. "You'd eat like there's no tammara'.>

Brilliant !

Like my old indian mentor said:Tamara never comes,it is always now !

Apr-29-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  thegoodanarchist: <ChessHigherCat: <tamar I was awaiting the opportunity to ask "Samora the turkey?" but got cold feet.> And a good thing, too! He probably would have reacted like the guy in this joke:

The principal calls a depressed little boy with a wooden eye to his office and says, "I'm really sorry you don't have a date for the prom. Tommy, why don't you ask Sally with the harelip to accompany you, I'm sure she'd love to go".

So the boy walks up to her shyly and asks: "Sally, would you like to go to the prom?" Bursting with joy she cries out: "Would I? Would I" Tommy slaps her in the face and retorts: "Hare lip! Hare lip!>

My mother loves that joke.

I don't care for it. The premise is unbelievable - what doctor would give a patient a wood eye? They make those out of glass.

Apr-29-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  thegoodanarchist: < tamar: That's quite true, CHC. My greatest ripostes are met with strange looks. A box came from Belize with carved egrets for a birthday party. But it had no card.

My friend was happy to get them from her friend Sally, but said she would have even more liked to hear from her.

I thought for awhile while the party went on, and then pointed to the birds and said, "Oh well, she couldn't come herself, but sent her egrets"

She stared at me, and said, "it took you 15 minutes to think of that?">

Better it takes 15 minutes, than you never think of it at all!

I thought it was great.

Apr-29-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  ChessHigherCat: <thegoodanarchist: I don't care for it. The premise is unbelievable - what doctor would give a patient a wood eye? They make those out of glass">

Since when do jokes have to be realistic? Half of them are about chickens ordering a cocktail in a bar. Does anybody remember some really funny weekly magazine series entitled "Why Jokes aren't Funny!!!" (in Harvard Lampoon?) where some pedantic German professor scientifically proves why no jokes are funny?

Apr-30-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  ChessHigherCat: I was just searching for that magazine article and it was looking for a needle in a haystack because it's obviously become all the rage to prove that jokes aren't funny. Whatever, I'm sure that's very PC, but to me it's like claiming that perfumes don't really smell good, or sex isn't really fun. It's more of a comment on the lack of appreciation than any real criticism of perfume or sex.
Apr-30-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  zanzibar: <<RB> Retireborn: <ChessHigherCat> Sadly, a number of people think my name means I'm born retired, not Reti reborn.>

Oh goodness gracious! So all this time <RB> should have been <RR>?

Say it ain't so!

Apr-30-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  zanzibar: PS- That's why they invented CamelCase.
May-01-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  thegoodanarchist: <ChessHigherCat: <thegoodanarchist: I don't care for it. The premise is unbelievable - what doctor would give a patient a wood eye? They make those out of glass">

Since when do jokes have to be realistic? Half of them are about chickens ordering a cocktail in a bar. >

I don't have a problem with anthropomorphizing animals for jokes.

It seems to me that this tendency is really the only justification behind "Why did the chicken cross the road?" The listener expects something along the lines of a human rationale, so "to get to the other side" becomes a punch line of sorts because it subverts the normal theme of the animal having a human motivation.

Another joke of note is the horse walking into a bar, and the bar tender asking "why the long face?"

Of course, most humans would not speak to a horse that way.

But in the case of the wood eye it just doesn't work. No one expects a doctor to implant a wooden eye into a patient. Mainly because no medical supply company would even try to market such a thing. These two different approaches to humor are not analogous.

Just my two cents.

May-02-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  ChessHigherCat: <the good anarchist> I added the joke to illustrate how the professor would have taken it badly if Tamar had used the pun "samour turkey" rather than dishing up the ultimate gem of western humor, but I still think it's funny, and for me the more unreal and absurd a joke is, the more it reflects the unreal and absurd nature of reality.
May-02-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  perfidious: <tamar....tamar is just short for tamarack, a tree that is now rare in Indiana.>

LOL--those times I have visited that part of the country, I have been accustomed to seeing sycamores instead.

May-02-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  perfidious: <GSM>, one can easily see where Susanna Hoffs got her gorgeous looks--her mother is not lacking in attractiveness at even an advanced age.
May-02-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  ChessHigherCat: <blunderclap: ChessHigherCat - but I still think it's funny, and for me the more unreal and absurd a joke is, the more it reflects the unreal and absurd nature of reality>

An infinitely precise thing to say, but completely besides the point.>

If you're talking about your own comment, I couldn't agree more. The point is that jokes don't have to be realistic in order to be funny. Here's another example, from Russia:

A journalist travels to the Caucasus to interview the oldest known living man, 120 years old. The reporter asks him what his secret is. "Well, says the greybeard, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't sleep with whores..." Suddenly, there's a huge ruckus and the reporter asks "What the hell was that?"

"Oh, don't worry about that, it's just my grandad, he always makes a racket when he drinks, smokes and sleeps with whores!"

Realistically, the grandfather couldn't possibly be alive much less doing all that, but that only adds to the humor rather than detracting from it. In the case of the "wood eye", the absurdity of a wooden eye (and the whole grotesque R. Crumb-style scene) fits in well with the total absurdity of being in highschool, with a prom, and a principal with half your IQ trying to tell you how to run your life.

May-02-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  tamar: <perfidious> Yeah, it was between tamar and sycko...
May-02-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  AylerKupp: <thegoodanarchist> Along those lines one of my favorites is:

Q: Why did the punk rocker cross the road?

A: Because he was stapled to a chicken.

I don't know why because not only isn't it all that funny but you have to be old to understand it

May-02-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  ChessHigherCat: <AylerKupp> That's a great one!

<Blunderclap> And here comes the infinitely tragical bit:

<My mother loves that joke>

<She "loves" all the misery that goes on between this boy and this girl in other words. She "likes" it, it's "cute and funny", rather than the source of all that's wrong in this world.>

Ok, we all feel horribly guilty and we're biting our nails down to the flesh, but the source of all that's wrong in life is simply birth and the phenomenal world itself (all life is suffering, ask Buddha), so you either have to have a sense of humor or go hang-gliding off the cliff of oblivion (I thought that sounded better than the cliché "end it all")

May-02-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  ChessHigherCat: <blunderclap: <ChessHigherCat -Buddha>

<Now how thick are you really? That's the only question that remains.>

No, the other questions that remain are 1) why you have to carry everything beyond the limits of good taste and 2) how somebody who goes around telling people to burn in hell because he's too thick to understand a joke can have the effrontery to pontificate on brotherly love and thickness.

May-02-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  thegoodanarchist: <blunderclap: <ChessHigherCat - but I still think it's funny, and for me the more unreal and absurd a joke is, the more it reflects the unreal and absurd nature of reality>

An infinitely precise thing to say, but completely besides the point.>

OK, "the unreal nature of reality" is precise?

Hey, as long as you're having fun, why not?

<AylerKupp: <thegoodanarchist> Along those lines one of my favorites is:

Q: Why did the punk rocker cross the road?

A: Because he was stapled to a chicken.

I don't know why because not only isn't it all that funny but you have to be old to understand it>

Much funnier than the joke about the horse with the long face, anyway.

May-02-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  ChessHigherCat: <TheGoodAnarchist> <blunderclap: <ChessHigherCat - but I still think it's funny, and for me the more unreal and absurd a joke is, the more it reflects the unreal and absurd nature of reality>

An infinitely precise thing to say, but completely besides the point.>

OK, "the unreal nature of reality" is precise?

Hey, as long as you're having fun, why not?>

I was going to say myself that it was infinitely vague but completely to the point, and to "normal" people it may appear absurd but it really does have a meaning: reality is completely unreal both in the specific context of highschool because all the things people take for granted as real in that environment are total nonsense and in the general Buddhist/Schopenhauerian sense that the world of the senses is just that, full of sound and fury and signifying nothing. Anyway, I admit that this isn't the optimal arena for metaphysics, in fact it reminds me of what Hitler said about the art of oratory: to give a successful speech, address yourself directly to the stupidest person in the crowd and keeping pounding two or three simple ideas into their head.

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