< Earlier Kibitzing · PAGE 5 OF 5 ·
|Feb-16-10|| ||OhioChessFan: Bart Beijer: "Dad, is this art or is it vandalism?" |
Homer (Computer): "That's for the courts to decide."
|Feb-17-10|| ||OhioChessFan: Movies are the only escape from the drudgeries of family and work...no offense.|
|Feb-18-10|| ||OhioChessFan: Bart: "I smell a museum."
Homer: "Yeah, good things don't end with 'eum.' They end with 'mania' or 'teria.' "
|Feb-18-10|| ||vileblunder: Facts? Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true. Facts shmacts.|
|Feb-19-10|| ||OhioChessFan: When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, you know, like that movie "Spaceballs". But instead it was dark and disturbing, like that movie "Police Academy".|
|Feb-20-10|| ||OhioChessFan: Bart: "I want to be emancipated!"
Homer: "Emancipated? Why do you want that? Don't you like being a dude?"
|Dec-13-10|| ||OhioChessFan: Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You.|
|Dec-13-10|| ||I play the Fred: Aw, nuts! Extremely rare blood and I don't have it!|
|Dec-14-10|| ||I play the Fred: aliases:
Joey Joe Joe Jr. Shabadoo
Homer J. Simpson
Homer S. Simpson
H. J. Simpson
Homer J. Fong
|Feb-23-11|| ||OhioChessFan: Mother Simpson: [singing] How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?|
Lisa: No, dad, it's a rhetorical question.
Homer: OK, eight.
Lisa: Dad, do you even know what "rhetorical" means?
Homer: Do I know what "rhetorical" means?
|Feb-24-11|| ||OhioChessFan: Dear Lord, thank you for this microwave bounty, even though we don't deserve it. I mean . . . our kids are uncontrollable hellions! Pardon my French, but they act like savages! Did you see them at the picnic? Oh, of course you did. You're everywhere, you're omnivorous. Oh Lord! Why did you spite me with this family?|
|Feb-25-11|| ||OhioChessFan: When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous blood-sucking monsters always wanting more . . . more . . . MORE! And if you give it to them, you'll get plenty back in return.|
|Feb-25-11|| ||TheFocus: I preach to my son that the number one rule in life is <Keep the women happy>.
That is all. Life is great then, because when they are happy, you are happy.|
|Feb-27-11|| ||OhioChessFan: And thank you most of all for nuclear power, which is yet to cause a single proven fatality, at least in this country.|
|Mar-01-11|| ||OhioChessFan: Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention for a moment... I would become a better public speaker.|
|Mar-22-11|| ||OhioChessFan: "English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England!"|
|Mar-20-12|| ||I play the Fred: "And remember, Bart, we never had this conversation."|
"THE ONE WE JUST HAD!!"
|Apr-09-12|| ||whiteshark: "Now I know I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!"
|Dec-22-12|| ||OhioChessFan: "You don’t win friends with salad."|
|Dec-23-12|| ||HeMateMe: What medical procedures are done in the Homer equipment, shown in the page photo? It doesnt seem like the right set up for dental work. Could it be for eye surgery?|
|Dec-26-12|| ||OhioChessFan: "I'm sorry. I guess watching me isn't any more exciting than being me."|
|Dec-26-12|| ||OhioChessFan: "I'm really glad you corrected me, Lisa. People are always really glad when they're corrected."|
|Dec-28-12|| ||OhioChessFan: "I think Mr. Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work harder when I'm around."|
|Jan-05-13|| ||OhioChessFan: "For the next two hours we'll be kid-free. It'll be just like the time we lost them at the mall. That was the best Christmas ever."|
|Jan-27-13|| ||optimal play: Homer: Save a guy's life and what do you get? Nothing! Worse than nothing! Just a big scary rock.|
Bart: Hey, man, don't bad-mouth the head.
Marge: Homer, it's the thought that counts. The moral of the story is: ‘A good deed is it's own reward.'
Bart: Hey, we got a reward. The head is cool.
Marge: Then I guess the moral is: ‘No good deed goes unrewarded.’
Homer: Wait a minute. If I hadn't written that nasty letter, we wouldn't have gotten anything.
Marge: Well, then I guess the moral is: ‘The squeaky wheel gets the grease.’
Lisa: Perhaps there is no moral to this story.
Homer: Exactly! It's just a bunch of stuff that happened.
Marge: But it certainly was a memorable few days.
Homer: Amen to that!
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