|
< Earlier Kibitzing · PAGE 638 OF 638 ·
Later Kibitzing> |
Jun-05-13
 | | TheFocus: My pet duck thinks he's a rooster.
Every morning, he wakes me at the quack of dawn. |
 |
Jun-05-13
| | TheFocus: The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a duck walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the duck's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" "Not really," said the duck. "Your name is written inside the cover." |
|
Jun-05-13
| | TheFocus: A man and his pet duck walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: "Last call."
So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my duck." The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the duck falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there." To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a duck." |
|
Jun-05-13
| | TheFocus: A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a duck sitting next to him. "Are you a duck?" asked the man, surprised. "Yes."
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The duck replied, "Well, I liked the book." |
|
Jun-05-13
| | TheFocus: A woman walks into a bar with a duck under her arm.
"Hey," yelled the bartender. "You can't bring a pig in here!" The woman said, "He's not a pig, he's a duck."
Bartender said, "I'm talking to the duck." |
|
| Jun-06-13 | | diceman: <TheFocus: A man in a> library <notices what looks like a duck sitting next to him. "Are you a duck?" asked the man, surprised. "Yes."
"What are you doing at the> library <?" The duck replied, "Well, I liked the> movie <."> |
|
| Jun-06-13 | | diceman: <TheFocus:
A> duck <walks into a bar with a> woman <under> his <arm."Hey," yelled the bartender. "You can't bring a pig in here!" The> duck <said,>"Know any bars close by with lower standards?<"> |
|
Jun-06-13
 | | moronovich: And then there is this famous story about the aging Groucho Marx who enters a cinema during the movie."Is there a duck present !?" He asked loudly. Six doctors raised their hands. Groucho left the building. |
|
Jun-06-13
 | | Abdel Irada: <moronovich: And then there is this famous story about the aging Groucho Marx who enters a cinema during the movie."Is there a duck present !?" He asked loudly. Six doctors raised their hands. Groucho left the building.> Shortly thereafter, the Marx Brothers released _Duck Soup_. ∞ |
|
Jun-06-13
| | moronovich: <Shortly thereafter, the Marx Brothers released _Duck Soup_.> Yep,that is it.The foreplay to all the Soup Operas.
Later diceman was casted by uncle Walt,named miceman for a short peroid,including "Driving miss Minnie". |
|
Jun-06-13
 | | Tiggler: A woman went into a bar carrying a pig. The bartender, who was a duck, said, "You can't bring a hog in here." And the pig said, "I resent that canard." |
|
Jun-06-13
| | Tiggler: And the woman said, "Allons y, mon petit cochon." |
|
Jun-06-13
| | TheFocus: Hoist by my own petard.
You guys are funny. |
|
Jun-06-13
 | | Calli: Oprah Winfrey has agreed to marry Deepak Chopra. She'll be known as Oprah Chopra. |
|
Jun-07-13
 | | hedgeh0g: She's Winfrey and Deepak is Factfree.
It really is a match made in heaven. |
|
Jun-14-13
| | TheFocus: So she asked what I thought of dinner. I replied, "Well, that is the first time I have ever had to slice gravy." It went downhill after that. |
|
Jun-14-13
 | | WannaBe: <TheFocus> That's what you get for finding Martha Stewart on Match.com |
|
Jun-14-13
| | TheFocus: <WannaBe> I thought it would be a "good thing." |
|
Jun-14-13
 | | whiteshark: <TehFoxus: <"good thing">> You mean <Wendi Deng>, WannaBe's latest future Ex, no? |
|
Jun-14-13
 | | Phony Benoni: The NSA is a shining example what Democracy can do in America. First, it was set up and run by the Republicans. Now it's being run, with equal gusto, by the Democrats. This makes it the only program to have been supported by both major parties in the last umpteen years. Bipartisanship in action. Admittedly, things would be better if both sides could support the program at the same time. But it's a start. |
|
Jun-15-13
| | Tiggler: <whiteshark> If <TheFocus> wants to make it with <Wendy Deng>, he has to pitch her Wang Dang Doodle, all night long: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEjU...
Howlin Wolf |
|
Jun-16-13
| | TheFocus: Once you go Martha, you don't go Wendi. |
|
Jun-16-13
| | whiteshark: <I'm actually incapable of lying.>
[Boo! Stop it! Get out!]
<I'm like R Parody of a person who can't lie.>
[Clear off whiteshark! Your a disgrace to the Odd Lie page!]tbc... |
|
Jun-16-13
 | | andrewjsacks: Now, in the '70s I entered a Master's program. They said that it was also offered online--but that I'd have to wait about 20 years. So I just took it the traditional way. I don't have that much patience. |
|
Jun-18-13
| | Tiggler: <I don't have that much patience.> That is what people who can't play chess always say. |
|
|
|
< Earlier Kibitzing · PAGE 638 OF 638 ·
Later Kibitzing> |
