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Phony Benoni
Member since Feb-10-06 · Last seen Mar-30-15
Greetings, O Seeker After Knowledge! You have arrived in Detroit, Michigan (whether you like it or not), and are reading words of wisdom from a player rated 2938--plus or minus 1000 points.

However, I've retired from serious play--not that I ever took playing chess all that seriously. You only have to look at my games to see that. These days I pursue the simple pleasures of finding games that are bizarre or just plain funny. I'd rather enjoy a game than analyze it.

For the record, my name is David Moody. This probably means nothing to you unless you're a longtime player from Michigan, though it's possible that if you attended any US Opens from 1975-1999 we might have crossed paths. Lucky you.

If you know me at all, you'll realize that most of my remarks are meant to be humorous. I do this deliberately, so that if my analysis stinks to High Heaven I can always say that I was just joking.

As you can undoubtedly tell from my sparkling wit, I'm a librarian in my spare time. Even worse, I'm a cataloger, which means I keep log books for cattle. Also, I'm not one of those extroverts who sit at the Reference Desk and help you with research. Instead, I spend all day staring at a computer screen updating and maintaining information in the library's catalog. The general public thinks Reference Librarians are dull. Reference Librarians think Catalogers are dull.

My greatest achievement in chess, other than tricking you into reading this, was probably mating with king, bishop and knight against king in a tournament game. I have to admit that this happened after an adjournment, and that I booked up like crazy before resuming. By the way, the fact I have had adjourned games shows you I've been around too long.

My funniest moment occurred when I finally got a chance to pull off a smothered mate in actual play. You know, 1.Nf7+ Kg8 2.Nh6+ Kh8 3.Qg8+ Rxg8 4.Nf7#. When I played the climactic queen check my opponent looked at the board in shocked disbelief and said, "But that's not mate! I can take the queen!"

Finally, I must confess that I once played a positional move, back around 1982. I'll try not to let that happen again.

>> Click here to see Phony Benoni's game collections. Full Member
   Current net-worth: 1 chessbucks
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   Phony Benoni has kibitzed 14944 times to chessgames   [more...]
   Mar-30-15 Phony Benoni chessforum
Phony Benoni: <Pawn and Two> Thanks. I'll check it out tonight; have been under the weather this weekend.
   Mar-30-15 D Dzhangirov vs V Minakov, 2005 (replies)
Phony Benoni: The Lady or the Miter?
   Mar-27-15 Biographer Bistro (replies)
Phony Benoni: <zanzibar> Your <USOpen97> analysis was so good that I've just filed it away until I'm actually ready to use it. (Darn it, I've got to get back to the problems with 1901!) <USOpen96> was a similar four-section affair, as I guess you probably know. (I couldn't ...
   Mar-27-15 Zenas Leslie Hoover (replies)
Phony Benoni: Inventor of the traffic light. Surely one of the most hated persons to ever play in a chess tournament. Wonder what his chess clock looked like?
   Mar-27-15 L Gutman vs M Schurade, 2004 (replies)
Phony Benoni: True, but you can't keep a Gutman down. OK, we've got that out of the way. How about the game? Seems pretty routine up to 27...Nxd4. After the flurry, White is unable to stop the pawns before they reach light squares and become irresistible.
   Mar-26-15 M Palac vs E Inarkiev, 2014 (replies)
Phony Benoni: It's a feeling that comes all too seldom. You're analyzing, and you notice a beautiful possibility, and your first reaction is that it's too good to be true. But it is true. And it is so sweet for that brief, shining moment.
   Mar-25-15 David Moody (replies)
Phony Benoni: <zanzibar> Thanks. That one is fine
   Mar-25-15 M Esserman vs D Moody, 1997 (replies)
Phony Benoni: <keypusher> Yeah, maybe 53...Qxd5+ was a bit sadistic, but I saw I could get away with it. The Younger Generation had been giving me a lot of trouble in the tournament, and I wasn't in the mood to concede anything to them.
   Mar-25-15 Z Kovacs vs Remlinger, 1955 (replies)
Phony Benoni: >al-wazir> After <33.Rxh3> [DIAGRAM] Queen and five pawns against two rooks. If that's roughly even on a point-count basis, then I'm Larry Remlinger. Seriously, though, White could have played on. And he didn't have to take the rook in the first place.
   Mar-23-15 E Garcia vs M Preuss, 2005 (replies)
Phony Benoni: "Come over here where I can get my hands on you!"
(replies) indicates a reply to the comment.

Let's play two!

Kibitzer's Corner
< Earlier Kibitzing  · PAGE 659 OF 659 ·  Later Kibitzing>
Mar-23-15  Jim Bartle: In my first two years at college, the team had three black players. One was the best on the team (but not that good really) and the other two were good enough to play but not stars in any way.

One of those two told me, just watch, Chuck (the other black player) and I will never be on the court together. There will never be more than two blacks at a time, Griffin and one of us. I started watching and it was true.

The coach was a dinosaur named Howie Dallmar who was sort of an institution. They finally got rid of him, but it took a while to find a good replacement.

Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: Hmm. Twenty-one years at Stanford, but only aged 53 when he left:

Mar-23-15  Jim Bartle: He had been an All-American at Stanford, but was uninspiring as coach. Couldn't win at the end with local hero Rich Kelley, though they did beat UCLA the last year.
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: They must have a lot of faith in their electricians.

Premium Chessgames Member
  playground player: <Esteemed Baseball Mavens> I give you now Boom-Boom Beck, a forgotten pitcher of the 1930s, who had a really cool nickname. The Wikipedia article tells you how he got it.

I remember a time Dave Righetti, then pitching with the Yankees, was so frustrated at being taken out of a game (because he was pitching badly) that he threw the baseball completely out of the park. I think that was at County Stadium in Milwaukee; I don't have time to look it up.

Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: Poor guy's career spanned 22 seasons (1924-1945), but he played on only two winning teams (44 Tigers, 45 Pirates), and didn't stick around after the war.
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  perfidious: Of course, Beck only pitched in twelve seasons over that span and most of his teams were terrible.
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  Tabanus: Here's US Open 1943 player Zenas Leslie Hoover, the father of the traffic lights.
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  Phony Benoni: <Tabanus> Thanks. That tournament was just chock full of real-life celebrities.
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  WannaBe: Be easier if everyone is eligible and screw this confusion...

Hey, if it's 3rd down and 15, and you want to shovel pass to your center, go for it. I say.

Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: Bring back the fumbleroosky!
Mar-25-15  Jim Bartle: If everyone were eligible there would be no pass rush. The DLs would have to cover the OLs.

A simpler rule would be "Only players number 50 to 79 can be interior linemen."

Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: <Jim Bartle: If everyone were eligible there would be no pass rush. The DLs would have to cover the OLs.>

OK, so?

Mar-25-15  Jim Bartle: You want no pass rush, like schoolyard 2-mississippi rushing?
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: Game will evolve/adapt... It's not like there hasn't been (major) changes in football, before.

Just think it's easier to have everyone eligible than to figure out who isn't and where they are lined up.

Mar-25-15  Jim Bartle: That's a reasonable position. The Chip Kellys and Bill Belichicks wouldn't sleep until next season devising new plays.

An interesting thought is it might get rid of the 350-pounders.

Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: You know in basketball where if the free throw shooter can't shoot (injured) the opposing coach gets to pick who the replacement will be?

I say after the TD, let the opposing coach pick the PAT kicker.

"Hey, ref, I want the back-up long snapper to kick it."

"Yo, side judge, I think I want that #86, yeah, I know he is being tested for concussion, but he is officially not out of the game, yet. Here, my team's got some smelling salt for 'im."

Guaranteed sell-out stadium, no more worries about local-TV black-outs due to empty seats.

Boy, I am a genius.

Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: Better yet. If a team is going for two, the opposing coach gets to pick the quarterback.
Mar-26-15  zanzibar: <Phony> I found this while investigating Momic... it ties in with your <USOpen54>:

<In 1962, when Jude was 18 years old, he rode with McAuley to a chess tournament in Natchez, Mississippi. McAuley had paid Jude’s entry fee, as was his custom. Ahead of Jude in line at the Natchez hotel was William Scott III. It was the first time Jude met Scott and they would become lifelong friends (Scott, for example, helped “save” a couple of Jude’s Atlanta exhibitions in the early 1970s). In 1954, Scott had not been allowed to play at the U.S. Open chess tournament held in New Orleans because he was black. In 1945, Scott had served as an army photographer–a Reconnaissance Sgt. with the 183rd Engineer Combat Battalion–and documented [link behind free registration wall] the liberation of the Buchenwald concentration camp. Scott was also editor of the Atlanta Daily World. Behind Scott in line was Milan Momic. Formerly of Yugoslavia, Momic was an Alabama state champion.

“I’m sorry, sir, but the hotel will not admit you. Black players are not allowed in the tournament.”

“Why can’t he play?” asked McAuley, still in his Pelican Plumbing Supply uniform. “If he can’t play, I’m not playing.” He turned and walked out of the hotel.

“If McAuley’s not playing, I’m not going to play.” Jude turned to walk out.

“They no play, no me.” Momic followed.

Jude is ever quick to praise McAuley:

There is no one in Louisiana (chess) history, bar none, that touches–especially (Paul) Morphy–McAuley in class in terms of real world class manner. Morphy had many idiosyncrasies, he did not treat people well in many occasions, and did not fulfill professional contracts. McAuley was strictly by the book.>

Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: I propose: Life-time ban for Tim Duncan.


Mar-26-15  Jim Bartle: Not surprised. Duncan has always been a bad actor.

When I was in college I watched a 49er (and former Stanford player) bet $100 with a Stanford starter on the 1969 Stanford-UCLA game. It was a tie, so the current Indian (!) won the bet. He was happy.

Premium Chessgames Member
  Tabanus: More knowledge for Phony the seeker! Fredrick Flinn Wilcox, he was an optician in Chicago. Then I tried J W Taylor, you can put <James> W. Taylor from Chicago on your list. But there were 3 or 4 James W. Taylor's in Chicago and I can't be sure which one played chess.
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: <Tabanus> Thanks, as always.
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  Pawn and Two: <Phony Benoni> On Biographer Bistro I posted some information you were requesting for the 1997 U.S. Open.
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: <Pawn and Two> Thanks. I'll check it out tonight; have been under the weather this weekend.
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