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Phony Benoni
Member since Feb-10-06 · Last seen Jan-26-15
Greetings, O Seeker After Knowledge! You have arrived in Detroit, Michigan (whether you like it or not), and are reading words of wisdom from a player rated 2938--plus or minus 1000 points.

However, I've retired from serious play--not that I ever took playing chess all that seriously. You only have to look at my games to see that. These days I pursue the simple pleasures of finding games that are bizarre or just plain funny. I'd rather enjoy a game than analyze it.

For the record, my name is David Moody. This probably means nothing to you unless you're a longtime player from Michigan, though it's possible that if you attended any US Opens from 1975-1999 we might have crossed paths. Lucky you.

If you know me at all, you'll realize that most of my remarks are meant to be humorous. I do this deliberately, so that if my analysis stinks to High Heaven I can always say that I was just joking.

As you can undoubtedly tell from my sparkling wit, I'm a librarian in my spare time. Even worse, I'm a cataloger, which means I keep log books for cattle. Also, I'm not one of those extroverts who sit at the Reference Desk and help you with research. Instead, I spend all day staring at a computer screen updating and maintaining information in the library's catalog. The general public thinks Reference Librarians are dull. Reference Librarians think Catalogers are dull.

My greatest achievement in chess, other than tricking you into reading this, was probably mating with king, bishop and knight against king in a tournament game. I have to admit that this happened after an adjournment, and that I booked up like crazy before resuming. By the way, the fact I have had adjourned games shows you I've been around too long.

My funniest moment occurred when I finally got a chance to pull off a smothered mate in actual play. You know, 1.Nf7+ Kg8 2.Nh6+ Kh8 3.Qg8+ Rxg8 4.Nf7#. When I played the climactic queen check my opponent looked at the board in shocked disbelief and said, "But that's not mate! I can take the queen!"

Finally, I must confess that I once played a positional move, back around 1982. I'll try not to let that happen again.

>> Click here to see Phony Benoni's game collections. Full Member
   Current net-worth: -200 chessbucks
[what is this?]

   Phony Benoni has kibitzed 14763 times to chessgames   [more...]
   Jan-25-15 Phony Benoni chessforum
Phony Benoni: I wonder if there has been research on the performance of a hockey goalie after he plays in the All-Star game. Surely there must be some shell shock. Final score today, if you missed it, was 17-12. Don't ask me who won.
   Jan-25-15 Anand vs Carlsen, 2014 (replies)
Phony Benoni: <offramp> Msandfine> Complete voting and details can be found here: Game Collection: Best Games of 2014 <chessgames> announced they would be using these as GOTDs for the next few days. I was hoing to keep up the suspense a little, but obviously that didn't work.
   Jan-24-15 N G Engholm vs Kashdan, 1934
Phony Benoni: <crawfb5> Thanks.
   Jan-24-15 Carlsen vs Anand, 2014 (replies)
Phony Benoni: Selected as the 9th best game of 2014 by a vote of <chessgames> members.
   Jan-23-15 A David vs M Vachier-Lagrave, 2014 (replies)
Phony Benoni: <> Thanks for the explanation.
   Jan-23-15 Biographer Bistro (replies)
Phony Benoni: Could someone with Lahde's biography of Kashdan look up a quick piece of information here: N G Engholm vs Kashdan, 1934 Thanks.
   Jan-23-15 Qun Ma vs D Raznikov, 2014
Phony Benoni: And the Lord said, "Let there be Light-Squared Bishops to cover the weaknesses created by moves like c4 and e4 and g3." And the Lord saith unto the Light-Squared Bishops, "Be fruitful, and develop, and cover the chess board. "For verily I say unto thee, if thou sitteth on thy ...
   Jan-22-15 chessforum (replies)
Phony Benoni: They breed like Catholics?
   Jan-22-15 Aronian vs Svidler, 2014 (replies)
Phony Benoni: Maybe they could have tried "Lev is a Many Svidlered Thing".
   Jan-22-15 J Sammour Hasbun vs A Ivanov, 2013 (replies)
Phony Benoni: Well, usually in situations like this you sack on g7 first and calculate later. But it's not too much later you discover 22.Rxg7 Qa1+ 23.Kh2 Qxg7 24.Bf6 Nxf6 25.Rxe8+ Nxe8 doesn't appear to be going anywhere. So maybe 22.Bf6 first? After 22...Nxf6 ... hmmm. 23.Qxf6 looks ...
(replies) indicates a reply to the comment.

Let's play two!

Kibitzer's Corner
< Earlier Kibitzing  · PAGE 651 OF 651 ·  Later Kibitzing>
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: <Deus Ex Alekhina> Kicking game use another set of balls...
Premium Chessgames Member
  mistermac: <<Phony Benoni>(Oh, by the way, you seem new around here, so for the record let me say you should take everything I say with a gram of salt.)>

I seem and feel reasonably new. And, let me say, that I am well aware that there are 4840 square yards in an acre, 8 furlongs in a mile, 14 Lbs in a stone, and 8 pints in a gallon.

I only wish that I could find some of my childhood exercises books, which had on the back cover all the Imperial (a nasty word in a Republic) measures. But, you do have a Chees Queen as one of your friends I am aware, and that she is a gifted archivist.

You will be pleased that .04166666... of a pound is one penny.

So, I will think of you next time I spend one, as well as when I season my dinner with the salt of wisdom.

But, I hope I have at least helped you to make the acquantance of the unit of pressure called the kilopascal, as you need a fair few of them in your tyres to enjoy happy motoring. Pays to keep to the left also.

Some of the regular contributors to your Forum have a nodding acquaintance with me.

Premium Chessgames Member
  chancho: Aaron Rodgers loves his ball over inflated, but nary a word about that.

What about Peyton Manning?

How does he like his balls, soft leather?

What a circus.

Premium Chessgames Member
  mistermac: <Phony>, you probably would remember me better with my lance upraised, rather than the random lady whom I adopted as my Dulcinea. Now I know who she is, I hope she does not mind.

If she scorns me, or discards me, I will have to settle for Sophia Loren.

Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: We have some physics explanation, but it does not get them Patriots off the hook:

Premium Chessgames Member
  chancho: Doesn't take long in social media to nail someone's ass.

Jan-22-15  Deus Ex Alekhina: All I can say is, the Pats better keep their hands off MY balls.
Premium Chessgames Member
  mistermac: I would go to Hellium and back for my lady.

See you all at the Unexcelled Owl where the Atmosphere will be great, and hopefully standard. But don't hold your breath.

Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: Some people say New England would have won without deflated balls, so I took the liberty and look'd at each posession and how each score happened:

1. 3 and out on NE's first posession

2. Fumble by Indy on punt, NE recovered. Scored TD via rush (Brady, 2 short throws)

3. Rush, incomplete, deep 30 yards pass, rush, incomplete, incomplete, 5-yard pass, rush, 1-yard pass (TD).

[End of 1st Qtr]

4. incomplete, short pass, short pass, rush, rush, rush, rush, short pass, rush, interception [ball was noticed to be flat by Colts]

5. short pass, incomplete, short pass, rush, rush, rush, rush, incomplete, rush, incomplete, rush, rush, incomplete, incomplete, short pass, (FG).

[Half Time]

6. short pass, rush, short pass, rush, rush, rush, rush, rush, pass short (TD)

7. short pass, sack, short pass, short pass, deep 22 yards pass, rush, rush, short pass (TD)

8. rush (TD)

9. rush, short pass, [End of 3rd Qtr], incomplete, short pass, rush, rush, rush, short pass, rush, short pass, rush (TD)

10. rush, rush, incomplete, punt

11. rush, [Garoppolo replaces Brady], rush, rush, punt

[End of Game]

Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: Brady was 23-35 with 3 TDs, 1 INT, Luck was 12-33 with 0 TDs, 2 INT.

Not reeeeeealy sure if all those short dump off passes by NE with deflated ball would alter the outcome?

Jan-22-15  Jim Bartle: The balls were inflated at halftime, so you have to take that into consideration.
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: Based upon this article, I would say the balls were "kosher" for second half of play:

Which would be double-ly stupid for Patriots to use deflated balls in the first half... Unless their ball "guatd" or ball-boy really wanted the team to be caught/fined...

Premium Chessgames Member
  technical draw: Too many <TD>'s. I think you're talking about me.
Jan-23-15  Jim Bartle: Ernie Banks has died. I just hope Aaron, Mays and Robinson aren't next.
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: =(
Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: Wake up at 4AM and the first news story I see online is Ernie Banks has died.

Premium Chessgames Member
  perfidious: RIP Ernie Banks.

The man could play a little, even if he probably should not have won both his MVPs.

Premium Chessgames Member
  technical draw: I am probably one of the few here who saw the great Ernie Banks play. It was 1961. Wrigley Field. And he didn't disappoint. He hit one into the bleachers. RIP Ernie "Mr. Cubs" Banks.
Premium Chessgames Member
  playground player: Ernie Banks brought a lot of joy into a lot of people's lives.

I had the privilege of seeing him play at the Polo Grounds, as the Cubs and Mets tried to iron out which of them was the worst time in baseball. Unfortunately I was too young to appreciate the historical value of what I was seeing. And probably too busy dodging pigeons, too.

Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: Special rules for the Pro Bowl:

Some nwritten rules:

1) The last player drafted, commonly known as "Mr. Irrelevant", shall be automatically eligible for the game.

2) All the officials will be models from the Lingerie Bowl. Before sacking a quarterback, the defensive player must turn to an official and ask, "Mother, May I?" If she gives permission, then he is permitted to give the quarterback a nasty look, as long as it's not too scary.

3) Rules against players touching the officials will be strictly enforced. Exact penalties have not been announced, but there rumors of a special "Patriots Treatment".

Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: Watching the Pro Bowl, weird seeing someone with Lions helmet throw a touchdown to a guy in Broncos helmet...

The long(er) PATs are interesting, the kicker just missed one...

Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: The up rights of the goal posts are narrower, instead of 18 ft apart, they are 14 ft apart, them PATs are further back, too.
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: For a game called "football", they're doing their best to take the foot out of it.
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: While we are all enjoying NHL & NFL All-Star Games, MLB (some-what quietly) have a new commissioner.
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: I wonder if there has been research on the performance of a hockey goalie after he plays in the All-Star game. Surely there must be some shell shock.

Final score today, if you missed it, was 17-12. Don't ask me who won.

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