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Phony Benoni
Member since Feb-10-06 · Last seen Nov-28-14
Greetings, O Seeker After Knowledge! You have arrived in Detroit, Michigan (whether you like it or not), and are reading words of wisdom from a player rated 2950--plus or minus 1000 points.

However, I've more or less retired from serious play--not that I ever took chess really seriously. You only have to look at my games to see that. These days I pursue the simple pleasures of finding games that are bizarre or just plain funny. I'd rather enjoy a game than analyze it.

For the record, my name is David Moody. This probably means nothing to you unless you're a longtime player from Michigan, though it's possible that if you attended any U.S. Opens from 1975-1999 we might have crossed paths. Lucky you.

If you know me at all, you'll realize that most of my remarks are meant to be humorous. I do this deliberately, so that if my analysis stinks to high heaven I can always say that I was just joking.

As you can undoubtedly tell from my sparkling wit, I'm a librarian in my spare time. Even worse, I'm a cataloger, which means I keep log books for cattle. Also, I'm not one of those extroverts who sit at the Reference Desk and help you with research. Instead, I spend all day staring at a computer screen updating and maintaining information in the library's catalog. The general public thinks Reference Librarians are dull. Reference Librarians think Catalogers are dull.

My greatest achievement in chess, other than tricking you into reading this, was probably mating with king, bishop and knight against king in a tournament game. I have to admit that this happened after an adjournment, and that I booked up like crazy before resuming. By the way, the fact I have had adjourned games shows you I've been around too long.

My funniest moment occurred when I finally got a chance to pull off a smothered mate in actual play. You know, 1.Nf7+ Kg8 2.Nh6+ Kh8 3.Qg8+ Rxg8 4.Nf7#. When I played the climactic queen check my opponent looked at the board in shocked disbelief and said, "But that's not mate! I can take the queen!"

Finally, I must confess that I once played a positional move, back around 1982. I'll try not to let that happen again.

>> Click here to see Phony Benoni's game collections. Full Member

   Phony Benoni has kibitzed 14542 times to chessgames   [more...]
   Nov-28-14 Phony Benoni chessforum (replies)
Phony Benoni: Well, Travis, I do hope your wish comes true. The Lions have another game with the Bears at Soldier Field, and will probably need to win it to have a chance to make the playoffs.
   Nov-28-14 Rotlewi vs Rubinstein, 1907 (replies)
Phony Benoni: <MindCtrol9> Probably never. The combination is so well known that nobody will ever fall for it again. Just joking. I'm sure you're talking about the quality of the combination. And the answer to that question is somewhere between "never again" and "every day", and it ...
   Nov-27-14 Biographer Bistro (replies)
Phony Benoni: <Stonehenge> Thanks. This is a strange case. All my records had "Kaminsky". I'm pretty sure I submitted his games, and find it hard to believe I would have used "Kaminski" five times in a row. I'm just not that consistent. USCF rating lists consistently give "Kaminsky". ...
   Nov-26-14 Vienna Game (C27)
Phony Benoni: The great attraction of the Frankenstein-Dracula Variation is that the vast complication afford a convenient disguise for blunders which would normally be attributed to stupidity.
   Nov-26-14 G Thallinger vs M Schlosser, 1995 (replies)
Phony Benoni: Yes, I know it takes a move longer. But I couldn't have resisted 25...Qa8+.
   Nov-25-14 Arthur Bisguier
Phony Benoni: Coming soon to a database near you from Bisguier - Kenneth Ray Smith, US Open, St. Louis, 1960: [DIAGRAM] <20.?> Yes, 20.Ra1 (and no doubt other moves) win as well, but it only delays the amusing clincher.
   Nov-25-14 Zhao Xue vs V Ramos Gazola, 2010 (replies)
Phony Benoni: OK, I'll say it. This is one cheesy pun. This is another one of those Olympiad games that just could as easily be from a simul. Black thinks she's winning a pawn at move 20. Unfortunately, she is. It's one of those extra pawns that suffers from a chronic illness and cast gloom
   Nov-25-14 Robson vs R Prasanna, 2004 (replies)
Phony Benoni: Hmm. I was looking at the immediate <25.e6>, which has the added merit of sarcasm. "Go ahead. Move."
   Nov-24-14 Claude Fred Tears
Phony Benoni: <perfidious> Another non-GM Fischer/Fine opponent that comes quickly to mind is Edmund Nash , who also faced--among many others--Kashdan, Larsen, and me. That's what happens when you play in many US Opens over a 63-year period (1934-1997). By the way, don't ask. it was ...
   Nov-24-14 C F Tears vs R Llorens, 1962 (replies)
Phony Benoni: Typical game for this opening. Three major pieces get captured in corners, there is only one even exchange of pieces, and White manages to castle twice. The letter carriers must have been wondering why every card had blood on it. The pun is based on a commercial for Johnson's ...
(replies) indicates a reply to the comment.

Let's play two!

Kibitzer's Corner
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Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: Need a miracle from them Lions... Am I gonna get my wish??
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: Congratulations, Travis! I hear the Bears now have as many wins in 2014 at Soldier Field as the Blackhawks!
Premium Chessgames Member
  Travis Bickle: Thanks Phony! I think this year The Cubs will have more wins than the Bears! ; P
Premium Chessgames Member
  Travis Bickle:
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: The 2008 Detroit Lions break out the beer and pretzels.

Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: Detroit is so lucky, NFL have chosen them as the host of Snow'd out Bills game on Monday Night!!

Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: Hey, if they can have NFL football in London, why not Detroit? (Sorry; having a Matt Millen flashback.)

By the way, <WannaBe>, how much did you have riding on KC last night?

Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: I did not have money on it, but I did pick KC to beat OAK in the weekly bar pool.
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: <Phony Benoni> Wanna go see a free NFL game?

Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: <WannaBe> Obviously, you get what you pay for.

A little inside information: this may be a Bills "home" game, but the Detroit fans will probably be rooting, if at all, for the Jets. When the Bills beat the Lions earlier this year, former Lions coach Jim Schwarz (now Bullafo's defensive coordinator) was carried off the field by his players. That did not sit well with people around here.

Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: Great Pac-12 DH day, Jumpin' Tree at Berkeley and then later, Trojans at Boooo-in's!! Gonna be great fun.
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: 2015 HoF ballot are out! Below are the first time eligibles and the previous 2014 ballot 'survivors'.


Randy Johnson
Pedro Martinez
John Smoltz
Carlos Delgado
Gary Sheffield
Nomar Garciaparra
Troy Percival
Rich Aurilia
Aaron Boone
Tony Clark
Jermaine Dye
Darin Erstad
Cliff Floyd
Brian Giles
Tom Gordon
Eddie Guardado
Jason Schmidt

<PREVIOUSLY ON THE BALLOT (with 2014 results)>

Craig Biggio (74.8%)
Mike Piazza (62.2%)
Jeff Bagwell (54.3%)
Tim Raines (46.1%)
Roger Clemens (35.4%)
Barry Bonds (34.7%)
Lee Smith (29.9%)
Curt Schilling (29.2%)
Edgar Martinez (25.2%)
Alan Trammell (20.8%)
Mike Mussina (20.3%)
Jeff Kent (15.2%)
Fred McGriff (11.7%)
Mark McGwire (11.0%)
Larry Walker (10.2%)
Don Mattingly (8.2%)
Sammy Sosa (7.2%)

Nov-24-14  Jim Bartle: Randy Johnson FIRST BALLOT
Pedro Martinez FIRST BALLOT
John Smoltz YES, LATER

Craig Biggio (74.8%) YES
Mike Piazza (62.2%) YES
Jeff Bagwell (54.3%) MAYBE
Tim Raines (46.1%) NO, UNFORTUNATELY
Larry Walker I'D SAY YES

Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: Boy, that horse collar penalty saved Baltimore a TD.
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: I think <JB> has nailed it. Most years smoltz and Biggio would be sure things, but one or both might end up waiting with locks like Johnson and Martinez around. I'd say Biggio has a better chance this year.

I don't see Sheffield every getting in, not even through the Veterans Committee. Just too much baggage. Piazza deserves more serious consideration.

Nov-25-14  Jim Bartle: Sheffield has the record needed, but he bounced from team to team and isn't associated with any of them.
Premium Chessgames Member
  Travis Bickle: Hey Phony The Bears gotta play on Turkey Day... Short week! ; P
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: Yeah, Travis, and I'm anxious to see what happens. Bears seem to be recovering a bit, Lions showing signs of their annual downward spiral.

Maybe we can sneak in the Bills' players wearing Lions' uniforms. They're now 2-0 in Detroit this year.

Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: D. Fleming's Turkeys of the Year!

Good/funny read!

Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: Wow, is Western Kentucky and Marshall playing football or basketball?? 49-42 <HALFTIME>.
Premium Chessgames Member
  Travis Bickle: Hey Phony, I hope The Bears can lose the rest of their ball games... Because we need a WHOLE Lotta Draft Picks!!!

P.S. Also that we would be a great way to give Head Coach Trestman & GM Phil Emery the BOOT!!

Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: Trade your third string long snapper to the Traiders, they'll be happy to give you a couple of 2016 first round picks.
Premium Chessgames Member
  Travis Bickle: <WannaBe> Deal!
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: Well, Travis, I do hope your wish comes true. The Lions have another game with the Bears at Soldier Field, and will probably need to win it to have a chance to make the playoffs.
Premium Chessgames Member
  Travis Bickle: Better your Lions than those Stinkin' Cheeseheads!!
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