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Phony Benoni
Member since Feb-10-06 · Last seen May-29-15
Greetings, O Seeker After Knowledge! You have arrived in Detroit, Michigan (whether you like it or not), and are reading words of wisdom from a player rated 2938--plus or minus 1000 points.

However, I've retired from serious play--not that I ever took playing chess all that seriously. You only have to look at my games to see that. These days I pursue the simple pleasures of finding games that are bizarre or just plain funny. I'd rather enjoy a game than analyze it.

For the record, my name is David Moody. This probably means nothing to you unless you're a longtime player from Michigan, though it's possible that if you attended any US Opens from 1975-1999 we might have crossed paths. Lucky you.

If you know me at all, you'll realize that most of my remarks are meant to be humorous. I do this deliberately, so that if my analysis stinks to High Heaven I can always say that I was just joking.

As you can undoubtedly tell from my sparkling wit, I'm a librarian in my spare time. Even worse, I'm a cataloger, which means I keep log books for cattle. Also, I'm not one of those extroverts who sit at the Reference Desk and help you with research. Instead, I spend all day staring at a computer screen updating and maintaining information in the library's catalog. The general public thinks Reference Librarians are dull. Reference Librarians think Catalogers are dull.

My greatest achievement in chess, other than tricking you into reading this, was probably mating with king, bishop and knight against king in a tournament game. I have to admit that this happened after an adjournment, and that I booked up like crazy before resuming. By the way, the fact I have had adjourned games shows you I've been around too long.

My funniest moment occurred when I finally got a chance to pull off a smothered mate in actual play. You know, 1.Nf7+ Kg8 2.Nh6+ Kh8 3.Qg8+ Rxg8 4.Nf7#. When I played the climactic queen check my opponent looked at the board in shocked disbelief and said, "But that's not mate! I can take the queen!"

Finally, I must confess that I once played a positional move, back around 1982. I'll try not to let that happen again.

>> Click here to see Phony Benoni's game collections. Full Member

   Phony Benoni has kibitzed 15160 times to chessgames   [more...]
   May-28-15 Phony Benoni chessforum (replies)
Phony Benoni: I guess Oyler gets ruled out because of his short career; basically only two years as a part-time regular. As long as you were ahead, he stayed in the game. There needs to be some real criteria to decide this. I looked around for some other lists, and found one guy who started ...
   May-28-15 Biographer Bistro (replies)
Phony Benoni: Uh oh. I should have known my sins would come back to haunt me. Those round numbers in my collection for USSR Championship (1956) were probably not from any source. I discovered early on that the USSR Championships generally used the standard Berger table for pairings. By ...
   May-28-15 M Keller vs H Jaser, 1977 (replies)
Phony Benoni: In the Good Old Days, when gentlemen warned their opponents of an attack on the queen, Black would have been having the time of his life saying "Guardez!" from here to Kingdom Come. But the ladies stick together, each disposing of the one of the irritating pieces. The result is
   May-26-15 Kaufman vs Larsen, 1968
Phony Benoni: <"White probably believes in life after death."> -- Hans Kmoch, commenting on 34.Bxa5 in "Chess Review, January 1969, p.26.
   May-25-15 W A Bills vs K Burger, 1968
Phony Benoni: The game continued after move 37, but the full score is unavailable due to time pressure.(Tournament book edited by Jack Spence, game #199).
   May-24-15 Fine vs Dake, 1935
Phony Benoni: <Shams> You'll be happy to know that your line was pointed out by Reshevsky in his brief notes to the game in "American Chess Bulletin" January 1935, p.14. And I do mean brief. His only other comment was that 24.Bc1 should have been played--though that is surely the kind ...
   May-24-15 Joaquin Medina Zavalia
Phony Benoni: So how do you capture a piece? No, I'm not talking about How the Chess Pieces Move here. I want to know the physical process you use. There seem to be two main methods. (1) Pick the offending piece, throw it out the window, and replace it with your own pure and holy piece. ...
   May-23-15 Manuel Soto Larrea
Phony Benoni: Apparently. In its report on the 2nd Mexican International Masters Tournament (Mexico City 1934/35), the "New York Times" mentions <Col. Manuel Soto Larrea>. He finished fifth, which was apparently good enough for a promotion.
   May-23-15 Jose Aviles Solares
Phony Benoni: Reports from the Mexico City 1934/1935 tournament make it apparent that the "A" stands fro <Aviles>, which would seem to be part of a surname. Does that sound correct?
   May-23-15 R Martin del Campo vs A Diamant, 2008
Phony Benoni: <57...?> [DIAGRAM] Poor Diamant. Not being a patzer, he disdains the check and promotes the pawn instead. Some days it just doesn't pay to be a good chess players.
(replies) indicates a reply to the comment.

Let's play two!

Kibitzer's Corner
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  OhioChessFan: I got lucky and happened to guess this one. Who threw the switch to turn on the lights?
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  WannaBe: Ohio U. Have qualified for the NCAA D-I baseball play-off, this will be their appearance in the tourney.

The 16 regional hosts will be announced later today, and the full 64-team field tomorrow.

Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: Edit: "This will be their <first> appearance in the tourney"
May-25-15  Jim Bartle: It took me a while to figure out what happened in this high school baseball play. I think I was fooled by the description of a 'hidden ball trick' (including at ESPN, which it isn't.

As far as I can tell the pitcher fakes a throw to second, the shortstop jumps high as if it's a wild throw, the runner takes off and the pitcher runs over and tags him. How is that a hidden ball trick?

Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: Okay, everyone, say "Bye-Bye" to Ray McD, ex-Bears-49ers...

May-25-15  Everyone: Bye-bye, Ray!
May-26-15  Jim Bartle: <The Elias Sports Bureau notes that Harden's 45 are the third-most points scored in Game 4 by a player whose team trailed 3-0 in a best-of-seven series (in other words, to avoid a four-game sweep).>


Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: So what's the record for a best-of-five series?
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: <Phony Benoni: So what's the record for a best-of-five series?>

I think it's 78, on a golf course.

Premium Chessgames Member

Spin Rate?

Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: Some fascinating info on that J. Guthrie 11 run game, and also fascinating historical perspective.

Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: You gotta love Social Media and how to "One Up" the other guys:

<With a Warriors win tomorrow night, the NBA will be guaranteed its 9th different team champion in the last 30 years.>

From Darren Rovell, Twitter feed on ESPN. Yawn...

Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: Miguel Cabrera can't afford to retire just yet. The acting skills simply aren't there:

May-27-15  Jim Bartle: That is funny!
Premium Chessgames Member
  playground player: Gene Michael, tall Yankee shortstop who couldn't hit, successfully worked the hidden ball trick five times.

Not counting the time he tried to hide a baseball down Carlton Fisk's throat.

Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: Ray McD. just got arrested, again. About 90 minutes ago.

Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: Here's that Jon Lester record that <Jim Bartle> was asking a week or so back:

May-28-15  Jim Bartle: With the exception of the catcher, all the worst hitters played since 1960. I find that highly unlikely.

Plus, what about Dal Maxvill, Buddy Biancalana, and Ray Oyler?

Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: The inclusion of Bill Bergen, the turn-of-the century catcher, is a giveaway that these are simply guys he is familiar with. Bergen's received a lot press about this legitimately bad hitting; otherwise, he wouldn't be on the list.

He also made a point of including guys with "real" careers". But picking Vince Coleman as the left fielder just because he didn't have power? If you can steal 100 bases a year, you can't be a bad hitter.

We criticize a lot of writers of over-statting things, but he needs a lot more numbers to take this seriously.

May-28-15  Jim Bartle: If you steal 100 bases, that's 100 singles which become doubles, at least as far as getting in scoring position is concerned.
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: It' time for Final Jeopardy!!!

Answer: Max Flack and Cliff Heathcote.

Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: I guess Oyler gets ruled out because of his short career; basically only two years as a part-time regular. As long as you were ahead, he stayed in the game.

There needs to be some real criteria to decide this. I looked around for some other lists, and found one guy who started off with Eddie Joost -- a .235 lifetime hitter, but he once walked 149 times in a single season. Why, he was practically Bryce Harper!

Another had at #1 a early-20th century shortstop named George McBride, who amassed a lifetime agerage of .218 over 16 years and 1600+ games. Good, but Dal Maxvill hit .217 over 14 years and 1400 games. No significant difference in career there.

Much scope for research and argument here. For instance, was Dave Kingman a good hitter or a bad hitter?

Here's a situation for you: Bottom of the ninth, two outs, bases loaded, tie game. You have to choose a pinch-hitter, and your choices are Dave Kingman or Eddie Joost. Who do you pick?

May-28-15  Jim Bartle: Joost, of course. OBP is all that counts.

In a Series game a few years ago in a similar situation Philadelphia sent up low average bulky power hitter Matt Stairs to pinch hit. I didn't see the sense in it.

Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: Who are 2 people who were never in <Wannabe's> kitchen?
Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: I had to cheat and google it. Never heard of them, but that's a pretty interesting bit of trivia.
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