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Phony Benoni
Member since Feb-10-06 · Last seen Feb-27-15
Greetings, O Seeker After Knowledge! You have arrived in Detroit, Michigan (whether you like it or not), and are reading words of wisdom from a player rated 2938--plus or minus 1000 points.

However, I've retired from serious play--not that I ever took playing chess all that seriously. You only have to look at my games to see that. These days I pursue the simple pleasures of finding games that are bizarre or just plain funny. I'd rather enjoy a game than analyze it.

For the record, my name is David Moody. This probably means nothing to you unless you're a longtime player from Michigan, though it's possible that if you attended any US Opens from 1975-1999 we might have crossed paths. Lucky you.

If you know me at all, you'll realize that most of my remarks are meant to be humorous. I do this deliberately, so that if my analysis stinks to High Heaven I can always say that I was just joking.

As you can undoubtedly tell from my sparkling wit, I'm a librarian in my spare time. Even worse, I'm a cataloger, which means I keep log books for cattle. Also, I'm not one of those extroverts who sit at the Reference Desk and help you with research. Instead, I spend all day staring at a computer screen updating and maintaining information in the library's catalog. The general public thinks Reference Librarians are dull. Reference Librarians think Catalogers are dull.

My greatest achievement in chess, other than tricking you into reading this, was probably mating with king, bishop and knight against king in a tournament game. I have to admit that this happened after an adjournment, and that I booked up like crazy before resuming. By the way, the fact I have had adjourned games shows you I've been around too long.

My funniest moment occurred when I finally got a chance to pull off a smothered mate in actual play. You know, 1.Nf7+ Kg8 2.Nh6+ Kh8 3.Qg8+ Rxg8 4.Nf7#. When I played the climactic queen check my opponent looked at the board in shocked disbelief and said, "But that's not mate! I can take the queen!"

Finally, I must confess that I once played a positional move, back around 1982. I'll try not to let that happen again.

>> Click here to see Phony Benoni's game collections.

Chessgames.com Full Member
   Current net-worth: 1,005 chessbucks
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   Phony Benoni has kibitzed 14835 times to chessgames   [more...]
   Feb-26-15 Jobava vs Carlsen, 2005 (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: This game had me shaking my head as I played through it in the Pun Voting Booth. How could this be happening? There was a cloud of doom hovering over the position, and try as he might Jobava could never dispel it. This turns out to be a positional exchange sacrifice in the best
 
   Feb-25-15 D Johnson vs Viesturs Seglins, 1957
 
Phony Benoni: Game found in "Washington Chess Letter", February 1958, p.15, and I see what happened. If you go to Black's 15th move, you will see <16.Qf3> given as a variation. That was the actual move, but somehow got demoted. As a result <19...Be4> attacked White's queen, which
 
   Feb-25-15 Phony Benoni chessforum (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: Only one?
 
   Feb-25-15 Rubinstein vs Spielmann, 1912 (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: Another wonderful game for which a great pun is irrelevant. We've hit a good streak the last few days. Rubinstein certainly was a stronger player overall than Spielmann, but the latter always had what boxers refer to as "The Slugger's Chance". Here, spectacular combinations ...
 
   Feb-25-15 F Bohatirchuk vs Nenarokov, 1924 (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: <Cheapo> Basically right, except that 34...Qd2 is kind of playable, since the White knight is off the board. [DIAGRAM] However, White then has various ways to win. Simple is 35.f4. Spectacular is 35.Qe4+ Kh8 36.Qd4!
 
   Feb-24-15 Biographer Bistro (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: While wandering around, I came across this tournament: London ''Black and White'' (1893) A missing game, Mason vs van Vliet, is promised. As yet the game has not appeared in the database, and since the tournament page is well over a year old I have taken the liberty of ...
 
   Feb-24-15 Washburn vs Lasker, 1907 (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: <Gregor Samsa Mendel> Deciding which mate to play is more difficult than a Monday puzzle.
 
   Feb-24-15 A Huss vs E Lobron, 1985 (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: I think the pun is best ignored. The game is notable for a couple of features. First, the way Black uses the edges of the board to zipline his pieces all over the place. You don't always need the center. And, of course, for <43...Rb3> [DIAGRAM] This is a bit of what the ...
 
   Feb-23-15 Pelikan vs W J Muhring, 1936 (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: I just realized the pun is one of my submissions. Apologies to all who actually know how to pronounce names. By the way, if you feel your pun submissions are being ignored, this was sent in over four years ago when I was working on a collection for the tournament. Maybe it's ...
 
   Feb-23-15 P Cervenka vs J Pesola, 2005 (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: Same old play, different cast.
 
(replies) indicates a reply to the comment.

Let's play two!

Kibitzer's Corner
< Earlier Kibitzing  · PAGE 655 OF 655 ·  Later Kibitzing>
Feb-19-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: There is an episode of "Futurama", where in the players all have fraction on their jersey, because all the whole numbers have been retired. =))
Feb-20-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  technical draw: <PB> Remember the records they have to set are Yankee records not overall baseball records.
Feb-20-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  playground player: <Technical Draw>, <Esteemed Baseball Mavens> I always knew the Yankees would someday get around to retiring Horace Clarke's historic No. 20. It's about time! Viva Horace!
Feb-20-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  technical draw: <News: Vegas dimmed them casino lights for Tark last night. Reaction: Casinos saved $3B in electricity.>

And $5B were stolen in chips.

Feb-21-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: This would be interesting, same conference, same division, same home stadium:

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/1...

At least Jets and Giants are AFC/NFC...

Feb-22-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  technical draw: I heard the Pope is quitting his job to become an American League umpire. He will be known as the Holy Roman Umpire. hahahahaha!
Feb-22-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: I would not want to be thrown out of the game by the Pope.
Feb-23-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: Too bad his jacket was flapping and being non-aerodynamic, otherwise he'd probably have ran it in 2.87

http://www.sbnation.com/nfl/2015/2/...

Feb-24-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  playground player: Speaking of Yankees, here's something that jumped out at me from the Baseball Encyclopedia.

Norwegian-born catcher Art Jorgens played 11 seasons for the Yankees, 1929-1939. During that period, the Yanks were in the World Series 5 times.

In all those World Series games, Art Jorgens did not appear once. Nope, not once.

Seems kind of mean, doesn't it?

Feb-24-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: <playgournd player> You know, I don't think he minded too much as long as he got that World Series check.
Feb-24-15  Jim Bartle: Charlie Silvera, whose family I knew pretty well, was on seven Yankee World Seies teams, played in one game and batted twice.

http://www.retrosheet.org/boxesetc/...

Feb-24-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: <Arndt Jorgens' Immortal Game>

http://www.retrosheet.org/boxesetc/...

How often did anybody get to run for Joe DiMaggio, let alone a third-string catcher?

Feb-24-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: Here's an interesting study done by ESPN on how Major League (baseball, hockey, football, basketball) teams use analytics, or a lack of analytics:

http://espn.go.com/espn/feature/sto...

You can click on "Overall Top 10" or "Overall Bottom 10" for a combined view of the 4 leagues.

Or click on the individual sport to see how the teams are ranked.

L.A. Flakers are virtually bottom...

Feb-24-15  Jim Bartle: Analytics just means more sophisticated use of stats, right? Certainly valuable but can be overused, and some of today's writers using analytics are unbearable.

Michael Lewis wrote an article on Houston's use of analytics a couple of years, focusing on Shane Battier's defense. I thought it went way, way too far, as they calculated their chances of winning after each play.

It was interesting in the way it showed exactly where Battier needed to move Bryant on the floor for the greatest chance he would miss or couldn't make a good pass (small joke).

What bothers me is how the coach and front office keep the players from thinking too much rather than just playing basketball. If they're always thinking what the numbers say is the best play, it will just keep them from playing their best.

Feb-24-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: If this is true, say good-bye to Dez:

http://seattle.suntimes.com/nfl/7/7...

Feb-25-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: Strange that they batted DiMaggio and then pulled him from the game after a walk. Okay, the game was close when he pinch hit, but what in the world?
Feb-25-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: <OCF> DiMaggio had been on the shelf for a month with a twisted ankle:

http://www.retrosheet.org/boxesetc/...

See the third inning. He would not start another game until June 7. It's a measure of the Yankees' dominance in 1939 that they had a 9-game lead when he returned.

By the way, note that this was Gehrig's penultimate game. Everybody knows that he was replace by Babe Dahlgren. But I did not realize until now that Dahlgran played every inning at first base the rest of the year, except for one game in July when he was lifted for a pinch-hitter in the 8th and Tommy Heinrich finished up.

Feb-25-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  playground player: <Jim Bartle> Friends with Charlie Silvera's family--very cool.

Just to round out the collection of Yankee catchers who hardly ever played: Ralph Houk, 1947-54, career at bats 158, with no home runs. Lifetime World Series record, 2 pinch-hit appearances, 1947 and 1952, going 1 for 2.

Poor Arndt Jorgens. I think there's a big difference between being able to say, "I played in the World Series" and "I got to see a bunch of World Series games for free."

Feb-25-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: Now there's a question. Would you rather be Arndt Jorgens, a trivial part of championship teams, or Ernie Banks who had a Hall of Fame career but never saw the postseason?
Feb-25-15  Jim Bartle: Banks.
Feb-25-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: I think BYU would be a nice fit for Big-12.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/ncaaf...

Then add another team (to have the number of teams actually match the conference name, imagine THAT!!)

But who would you add? Univ. of Houston? The conference already have teams in Texas, that wouldn't add TV exposure, or new recruiting ground. Univ. of Memphis?

Host a play-off game, end the bickering over the Baylor/TCU Division I final-4.

However, as always, there are the Power-5 conferences, but only 4 slots, 'less NCAA want to expand to 8-teams play-off. One conference/team will always be p1ssed off.

Feb-25-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: Only one?
Feb-25-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: NCAA, the No Common (sense) Athletic Association:

http://collegefootballtalk.nbcsport...

Feb-26-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: Well, it's Spring Training time, so y'all know what that <MEANS>!!!

http://espn.go.com/mlb/story/_/id/1...

Feb-28-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: history here: http://espn.go.com/mlb/story/_/page...

The writing isn't too bad, either. =))

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