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Phony Benoni
Member since Feb-10-06 · Last seen Jul-01-15
Greetings, O Seeker After Knowledge! You have arrived in Detroit, Michigan (whether you like it or not), and are reading words of wisdom from a player rated 2938--plus or minus 1000 points.

However, I've retired from serious play--not that I ever took playing chess all that seriously. You only have to look at my games to see that. These days I pursue the simple pleasures of finding games that are bizarre or just plain funny. I'd rather enjoy a game than analyze it.

For the record, my name is David Moody. This probably means nothing to you unless you're a longtime player from Michigan, though it's possible that if you attended any US Opens from 1975-1999 we might have crossed paths. Lucky you.

If you know me at all, you'll realize that most of my remarks are meant to be humorous. I do this deliberately, so that if my analysis stinks to High Heaven I can always say that I was just joking.

As you can undoubtedly tell from my sparkling wit, I'm a librarian in my spare time. Even worse, I'm a cataloger, which means I keep log books for cattle. Also, I'm not one of those extroverts who sit at the Reference Desk and help you with research. Instead, I spend all day staring at a computer screen updating and maintaining information in the library's catalog. The general public thinks Reference Librarians are dull. Reference Librarians think Catalogers are dull.

My greatest achievement in chess, other than tricking you into reading this, was probably mating with king, bishop and knight against king in a tournament game. I have to admit that this happened after an adjournment, and that I booked up like crazy before resuming. By the way, the fact I have had adjourned games shows you I've been around too long.

My funniest moment occurred when I finally got a chance to pull off a smothered mate in actual play. You know, 1.Nf7+ Kg8 2.Nh6+ Kh8 3.Qg8+ Rxg8 4.Nf7#. When I played the climactic queen check my opponent looked at the board in shocked disbelief and said, "But that's not mate! I can take the queen!"

Finally, I must confess that I once played a positional move, back around 1982. I'll try not to let that happen again.

>> Click here to see Phony Benoni's game collections.

Chessgames.com Full Member
   Current net-worth: 1,165 chessbucks
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   Phony Benoni has kibitzed 15315 times to chessgames   [more...]
   Jul-01-15 K Commons vs P Peev, 1976 (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: And it serves as fine memorial.
 
   Jun-30-15 Phony Benoni chessforum
 
Phony Benoni: Travis, I apologize for not making it clear the my note about Howe's health had nothing to do with our little back-and-forth about him and J J Watt. That was just the sort of horseplay fans indulge in from time to time. I certainly wasn't taking it seriously in the least. The ...
 
   Jun-30-15 Anand vs Baklan, 2007
 
Phony Benoni: I liked the role played by TIRP's little brother with 22.a3.
 
   Jun-29-15 R Rapport vs A Adly, 2015
 
Phony Benoni: Tarrasch has spun clear out of his grave, and was last seen orbiting Jupiter. There are no rules any more. Only tactics.
 
   Jun-29-15 chessgames.com chessforum (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: Was it really two hours? I can't be sure. They didn't have a clock in my room at the asylum.
 
   Jun-27-15 A Mengarini vs Bisguier, 1948 (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: <thegoodanarchist> Well, yes. I came across this game as part of my work on the US Open, and had to think of something.
 
   Jun-26-15 Browne vs Bisguier, 1974 (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: Not a bad choice for a tribute game. I remember well the impression <14.Bh6> made, opening preparation or not.
 
   Jun-26-15 Ragozin vs Veresov, 1945 (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: And, just to show that life does imitate art at times: Phony Benoni chessforum (kibitz #437)
 
   Jun-25-15 S Urusov vs Ben, 1862
 
Phony Benoni: <MarkFinan> I haven't researched this, but he is quite possibly the same person as Bihn , who also had a couple of unfortunate encounters with the Prince around this time. I realize that doesn't help at all,since I have no idea who Bihn was.
 
   Jun-23-15 R Vera vs G Garcia, 1992 (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: Wait, a second, isn't 24.Bc5 mate? No, the rook covers. OK, is 24.Ng8 mate? No, the king has the d-file. But wait. He who says A, can say B.
 
(replies) indicates a reply to the comment.

Let's play two!

Kibitzer's Corner
< Earlier Kibitzing  · PAGE 687 OF 687 ·  Later Kibitzing>
Jun-26-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: In other news, Fielders, meet Bonds, Bonds, meet the Fielders.

http://espn.go.com/dallas/mlb/story...

Jun-26-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: He gave up a run? That's it; Scherzer is no longer the best pitcher in baseball. Bring on the next candidate!
Jun-26-15  Jim Bartle: Two--count 'em, two--runs.
Jun-26-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  Penguincw: Despite Fielder's milestone homerun, the Blue Jays still win another blowout (their 18th on the season).

In other news, what I found somewhat interesting (though not really notable) is that the 2 batters that most recently ruined Scherzer's perfect game bids were both Venezuelan: Jose Tabata ruined Scherzer's perfect game by getting plucked, while Freddy Galvis got a hit to ruin his bid today. Can't quite continue it back, as Scherzer's start before the no-hitter was a one-hitter in Milwaukee. It would've been a perfect game except that he surrendered a hit to Carlos Gomez (Dominican Republican) and Shane Peterson (American).

Jun-26-15  Jim Bartle: Oh no, he got plucked! What a chicken.

Actually he was kind of a chicken, leaning his elbow into the pitch.

Jun-26-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  Penguincw: Hehe, I said "plucked", but I think the correct word is "plunked". :P
Jun-27-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: I'm beginning to think Verlander might have pulled a Dizzy Dean.

Back in 2012, he started the All-Star game. Normally, he would start the game easily by only throwing in the mid-90s, gradually working his way up as the game went on. For the All-Star Game, he decided to show off a bit by throwing full speed, triple-digit heat right from the start.

He pitched horribly, and when the season resumed had a very bad stretch. Both 2013 and 2014 were subpar years for him. Now, the injury bug is biting.

Part of it is just normal aging, wear and tear. But varying from a successful routine can throw everything off.

Jun-28-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: Life of an AAA emergency starter, Matt pitched 6 innings, allowed one hit, yesterday; and today, he's back to the minors.

http://espn.go.com/mlb/story/_/id/1...

Probably had time to shower, grab a hotdog and get back on the next flight... Chances are good he will be a late season call-up.

Jun-28-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  Penguincw: Mark Teixeira uses an umpire to help him make a groundout.

http://m.mlb.com/video/topic/887749...

So, would that be a 3-11-3 play? (9=RF,10=HPUmp,11=1BUmp,12=2BUmp,13=3BUmp)

Jun-28-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: When a major league baseball players runs into you and <HE> bounces off, it may be time to start looking at a diet.

And why wasn't Teixeira ejected for touching an umpire?

Jun-29-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  Travis Bickle: Hey Phony, I'd like to sign this guy up with the Blackhawks for defenseman! Houston Texans JJ Watt DT at 6'5 & 289 lbs. would be a nice addition... ; P

Here JJ shows a nice slapshot before a charity hockey game. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrU...

Jun-29-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: I dunno, Travis. Looks a little slow on those skates. I'll bet Gordie Howe could make him look silly.

And I'm talking about right now.

Jun-29-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: New HR Derby format revealed:

http://espn.go.com/mlb/story/_/id/1...

Jun-29-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: There go Mike Hargrove's chances.
Jun-29-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  Penguincw: Well that was harsh. Looking at the CLE-TB game, Cody Anderson retired the first 19 Rays batters before surrendering a homerun, to ruin his bid for a perfect game, no-hitter and shutout.

Indians still win 7-1.

Jun-29-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: Sounds like he pressed his luck, and the Whammy got him. (Gotta stop watching those old game shows.)
Jun-30-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: Jokers Wild? If my ol' memory serves.
Jun-30-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: No, that one was called "Press Your Luck". You pressed a button, and a cash prize would pop up on a flashing board. But if you hit a whammy, you lost every last cent.

The ability of people to smile ruefully amazes me.

Jun-30-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  Travis Bickle: <Phony Benoni: I dunno, Travis. Looks a little slow on those skates. I'll bet Gordie Howe could make him look silly. And I'm talking about right now.>

No Phony you don't understand, GM Stan Bowman wants to try JJ Watts out as a defenseman wearing baseball cleats instead of skates! ; P

Check out this potential Blackhawk, 'JJ Watts' in the gym!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXl...

Imagine big bad Zdeno Chara or your homeboy Gordie Howe getting picked up on the back of Watts and body slammed to the ice!! Chara would need an ambulance but Howe would need an undertaker! lol

Jun-30-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  whiteshark: <DIR♙♙ alert> Five-time World Champion gone + won with TIRP (tripple DIR♙♙♙): Anand vs Baklan, 2007
Jun-30-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: Travis, Watt would have to catch Howe first. And don't misunderstand ol' Gordie. Despite his clean-cut appearance, he had a reputation for being one of the nastiest players around if he got riled up. You messed with Howe, you paid the price.

By the way, you may have heard that Howe (87) suffered a series of life-threatening strokes last year. He's not fully recovered (and probably never will be), , but he's come back enough to be back skating again. Watt may get his chance yet.

Jun-30-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  Travis Bickle: <Phony Benoni> I didn't know Howe was so incapacitated & ill, so I'm sorry for making a joke about him.

It seems like you have a sense of humor with your clique, (Bartle, wannabe, etc.), but with me you're bitterly & sarcastically dead serious at all times!! F#@% it I tried to be friends...

P.S. Watt breaking Gordie Howe's back would be so ridiculously cruel that it would be more humane for him to strangle a 100 year old woman.

Jun-30-15  Jim Bartle: Listening to Olbermann, the family had believed he was about to die last year, but he recovered.

Olbermann did a fantastic show where he asked people to send in photos of Howe with fans. Just unbelievable: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeD...

Starts about 1:30.

Jun-30-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: Nice article on the '57 Cincinnati "ballot stuffin'", did not know there's a beer called "Burger Beer"...

http://espn.go.com/mlb/story/_/id/1...

Jun-30-15
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: Travis, I apologize for not making it clear the my note about Howe's health had nothing to do with our little back-and-forth about him and J J Watt. That was just the sort of horseplay fans indulge in from time to time. I certainly wasn't taking it seriously in the least.

The only reason I put in the note about Howe's health was just to state that it was improving. The news of his illness was quite public, and I didn't think the word about his recovery had gotten out.

If I seem to speak differently with than with others, it's because you're a distinct personality iwtha voice all your own, and I like to try and answer in the same vein. I'm really trying to laugh with you, even if I do a poor job and it doesn't seem that way.

Often, my humor lies in making ridiculous statements with a straight face. This works better in person than on the Internet. And, yes, I can be sarcastic, but I try to be humorous instead of cutting of hateful. If something seems absurd to me, I'll point it out, and try to do so humorously. But I always just want to make people think, never to hurt them

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