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Member since Aug-16-03 · Last seen Jun-19-18

If you think of posting at Kenneth S Rogoff,
Count to twelve, then permanently log off.

I’m sure you’ve run across articles about him in magazines. About how when he was a kid, he almost died from carbon monoxide poisoning huffing fumes from barbecue propane tanks, and how he was later diagnosed with having a monoamine oxidase A deficiency — what’s called a MAOA-deficiency — which made him abnormally belligerent …
What made him abnormally belligerent, the deficiency or the diagnosis?
Never mind.
… so he was always in and out of reform schools and jails. But he developed into this incredibly ferocious player. And then the year after he won his first Ma Ling Masters, he was in a Koru’s Department Store, which is like the Bougainvillean equivalent of Sears, and he was buying a pair of maracas and the salesperson suggested that he purchase a service contract for the maracas, and Offramp very courteously declined — he’s normally a very soft-spoken, urbane person — but the clerk got increasingly aggressive about this service contract, and finally Offramp just lost it and bludgeoned him to death with the ceremonial war club he always carries around with him. So he had to leave the country and he missed two full seasons. And then when he came back, he was appearing on The Patimo Nambuka Show (which is like the Good Morning America of Bougainville), and an anaconda swallowed his mom in the green room.>

- Mark Leyner, The Tetherballs of Bougainville.

CR Wynn: "There are few mysteries on the internet. Offramp is one of them."
- Mamedyarov vs Topalov, 2017 (kibitz #11)

ColeTrane: "Offramp says a lot of garbage."
- H Mestre Bellido vs T Bakre, 2012 (kibitz #15)

Luzhin: "Offramp is writing from a secure unit where patients are well-treated by a team of dedicated professionals."
- Short vs E Blomqvist, 2017 (kibitz #12)

SirRuthless: "If you have a minute do a little research on King Leopold and his actions in the Belgian Congo. It's eye opening. Offramp chose that monster as his avatar and it was no accident. Wonderful human being this <offramp> is."
- Altibox Norway (2017) (kibitz #82)

SirRuthless: "Ahh it's Albert Pike, my mistake. Sorry about that <offramp>. I'll leave my posts up as a lesson to anyone else who makes a similar mistake and a record of my error."
- Altibox Norway (2017) (kibitz #88)


"Are you one of the frightened?"
- Boris Karloff

Voted Worst Fanirmod 10 years in a row.

Chess columnist of the <Weekly Northern Whig & Intelligencer>.

I am a noted expert on Teplitz-Schönau (1922) upon which I have written nine "Schönographs": learned disquisitions on that intriguing tournament. Available at for $0.01 each.

Lead singer and guitarist of the Norwegian black metal band Dementert Freaks. Search for "I Piss On Your Jellyfish Sting."

A great passion of mine is to fire up the old Merlin GTS autogyro and take her up to about 5,500 metres. I take a laptop with me but I no longer post while airborne since one post made me laugh so hard that I crashed my gyrocopter.

I was born in Hong Kong and in 2005 I was required to complete National Service in the Chinese military. I was taught how to fly a Xian H-6 jet bomber. One of my missions was to carpet-bomb the town of Bishkek in Uzbekistan. A local chess tournament was taking place at the time and I later found out that I had killed 166 chess players which I believe to be the record.

I am an Honorary member of The Ancient and Honorable Artillery Company of Massachusetts and a Freeman of the City of Prince George, British Columbia and a Member of the Order of Skinner & PJ Proby's Horse and the Supreme Orator of the Order of the Acrimonious Virgin.

I have published an autobiography called <I BLEW A BILLION BUCKS ON BIKES BABES BARBITURATES BULLETS BOMBS AND BENONIS: <My Journey of Personal Discovery from Tunguska to Roswell Via Krakatoa and Hiroshima>>. It is available at for £0.01p.

I graduated from Lead City University, Hut 8, Zone B, Lagos, Nigeria with a thesis on speech act theory and moral language.

I once worked at LUSH and I have made a replica pistol out of black soap which I intend to present to Donald Trump when he visits Britain by jumping out of the crowd and handing it to him.

My philosophy is this:

Work like the ponies in coalmines.
Dance like the teardrop explodes.
Love like you're Frank in Blue Velvet.
Play chess like you're desperate to lose.

My Dad was Irish, but I am very English. In the following video I give advice on how to pronounce Flaming Nora.

My favourite players of all time are:
1 Frank James Marshall
2 Moshe Czerniak
3 Harry Nelson Pillsbury
4 Vladimir Simagin
5 Denis Khismatullin
6 Gustav Richard Neumann
7 Carl Theodor Goering
8 Rudolf Swiderski
9 Siegbert Tarrasch
10 Hugh Alexander Kennedy
11 Ernst Ludwig Klein.

My birthday is 29th March. I have two young children.

I am a lover of ecclesiastical architecture. I like Hawksmoor, Gibbs and Archer. In 2017 I'm hoping to visit both Santiago de Compostela and Rome. North France, as well. It is not easy because I never learned to drive a petrol vehicle, although I am trained to drive an electric train.

I spend many hours listening to Old-Time Radio (OTR). I also like pre-code comics.

>> Click here to see offramp's game collections. Full Member
   Current net-worth: 950 chessbucks
[what is this?]

   offramp has kibitzed 16931 times to chessgames   [less...]
   Jun-19-18 Biographer Bistro (replies)
offramp: <crawfb5: <z> Winter cites Egerton Smith in the <Liverpool Mercury> (1813)...> Wow, that is really early era chess. Even before those neolithic McDonnell-La Bourdonnais games in 1834.
   Jun-19-18 Robson vs V Bhat, 2009 (replies)
offramp: It's a pun on "Put the blame on Mame."
   Jun-18-18 offramp chessforum (replies)
offramp: CAPTION COMPETITION!! Now that that stupid Team White v Team Black has finished I think we should have another stuopid Caption Competion. CAPTION COMPETITION #3. yOU MUST PROVIDE AN URBANE, WITTY, not caps-lock-on punchline to that picture in
   Jun-18-18 Sergei Mushegovic Movsesian
offramp: Mushegovic is also the website of the Icelandic Government's Musical Hermitage.
   Jun-18-18 V Laznicka vs Movsesian, 2007 (replies)
offramp: <diagonalley: cute... (am wondering if there is a name for this mating pattern?)> This is a Hong Kong Quivey mate.
   Jun-18-18 Fischer vs V Kovacevic, 1970 (replies)
offramp: Today's pun refers to something which may or may not have been whispered to the winner by someone's wife. Fischer set a trap! If Black tried to win White's queen, then Black might have lost. But where is the trap? Where could Kovacevic have played to win the white queen. AFAICS he ...
   Jun-17-18 J Klavins vs I Zdanovs, 1961 (replies)
offramp: With hindsight White should have given up a piece for one or two pawns at move 13. Anything to open up the position. Perhaps 13.h4 followed by Ng5. Or Nh4 and Nxg6.
   Jun-17-18 E Terpugov vs Petrosian, 1957 (replies)
offramp: <morfishine: Zenit is a Russian football club from St Petersburg. Spartak is a Russian football club from Moscow and are the country's most successful club.> The least successful club is Nadir.
   Jun-17-18 T Kett vs S Brittner, 2007
offramp: "Serge Protection". Black's queen does a huge amount of work in this game. She made 31 of Black's 74 moves.
   Jun-16-18 G Halvax vs A D Ivanova, 2012 (replies)
offramp: <GrahamClayton>, thanks. That link tells me that this game was indeed a correspondence game and that White was rated 2020 and Black 1800. I am still puzzled as to why a correspondence game was played out to checkmate. Perhaps Black was in a bad mood.
   Jun-16-18 Shabalov vs A Lesiege, 1993 (replies)
   Jun-15-18 Steinitz - Gunsberg World Championship Match (1890)
   Jun-15-18 J Shahade vs Wang Pin, 2002 (replies)
   Jun-14-18 G Grasser vs A McGeorge, 2013
   Jun-14-18 M Al-Modiahki vs A Khairat, 2017
   Jun-12-18 Wallace - Hodgson (1896)
   Jun-12-18 Your Next Move (Blitz) (2018) (replies)
   Jun-12-18 WannaBe chessforum (replies)
   Jun-12-18 Theodor von Scheve (replies)
   Jun-12-18 N Ziemann vs C Roelli, 2007 (replies)
   Jun-11-18 Smyslov vs Kasparov, 1984 (replies)
   Jun-11-18 Raymond Keene (replies)
   Jun-11-18 Svetozar Gligoric (replies)
   Jun-11-18 A Zwaig vs Miles, 1977 (replies)
   Jun-10-18 Rubinstein vs Yanofsky, 1947
   Jun-10-18 S Volkov vs B Socko, 2014
   Jun-09-18 lostemperor chessforum (replies)
   Jun-09-18 Golden Executive chessforum (replies)
   Jun-09-18 OhioChessFan chessforum (replies)
   Jun-09-18 19th Karpov Poikovsky (2018)
   Jun-09-18 Memorable Quotes chessforum
   Jun-08-18 S Volkov vs D Anikonov, 2016 (replies)
   Jun-07-18 Caruana vs W So, 2018 (replies)
   Jun-07-18 Amsterdam vs Eindhoven, 1918
   Jun-06-18 Anand vs Caruana, 2018 (replies)
   Jun-06-18 Miguel A Quinteros (replies)
   Jun-06-18 D G Fridman vs S Maze, 2006 (replies)
   Jun-05-18 A A Thomson vs F Prieto Azuar, 1958
   Jun-04-18 H Wolf vs Rubinstein, 1907 (replies)
   Jun-04-18 J L Hammer vs V Sanal, 2011 (replies)
   Jun-03-18 Ditmas HG vs A D Wedderspoon, 1972 (replies)
   Jun-03-18 W So vs Carlsen, 2018 (replies)
   Jun-02-18 Caruana vs Karjakin, 2018 (replies)
   Jun-02-18 Carlsen vs Anand, 2018 (replies)
   Jun-02-18 chessforum (replies)
   Jun-01-18 Nakamura vs Carlsen, 2018 (replies)
   Jun-01-18 H Hunt vs J W Rogers, 2008 (replies)
   May-31-18 J Henseler vs N Maiorov, 2013
   May-31-18 Altibox Norway (2018) (replies)
   May-30-18 Carlsen vs Aronian, 2018 (replies)
   May-30-18 Reti vs Duras, 1908 (replies)
   May-30-18 Van Wely vs Carlsen, 2015 (replies)
   May-29-18 Nakamura vs Anand, 2018 (replies)
   May-29-18 Caruana vs Mamedyarov, 2018 (replies)
   May-29-18 Karjakin vs Carlsen, 2018 (replies)
   May-28-18 Carlsen vs Caruana, 2018 (replies)
   May-28-18 M Vachier-Lagrave vs Ding Liren, 2018
   May-28-18 Karjakin vs Aronian, 2018 (replies)
   May-28-18 Mamedyarov vs Carlsen, 2018
   May-28-18 Aronian vs Nakamura, 2018
   May-28-18 Altibox Norway (Blitz) (2018) (replies)
   May-28-18 David Forsyth
   May-27-18 Samuel Shankland (replies)
   May-27-18 Spassky vs Korchnoi, 1968 (replies)
   May-26-18 Robert E Byrne vs Fischer, 1963
   May-25-18 M Santo-Roman vs G Andruet, 1986 (replies)
   May-25-18 morfishine chessforum (replies)
   May-25-18 Polugaevsky vs Korchnoi, 1977 (replies)
   May-25-18 Reti vs Duras, 1912 (replies)
   May-25-18 Alekhine / LaMothe vs Blanchard / Cartier / Manseau / Ma, 1923
   May-25-18 Team White vs Team Black, 2017 (replies)
   May-24-18 Chessgames Bookie chessforum (replies)
   May-24-18 Mednis vs Timman, 1974 (replies)
   May-24-18 Alekhine vs J Sawyer, 1923 (replies)
   May-23-18 Anatoly Karpov (replies)
   May-23-18 Women Grand Prix Geneva (2013)
   May-22-18 G Neumann vs Anderssen, 1864
   May-22-18 Anderssen vs G Neumann, 1864
   May-22-18 G Neumann vs Anderssen, 1864
   May-22-18 Hagen Poetsch
   May-21-18 C H Alexander vs Botvinnik, 1946 (replies)
   May-19-18 Miles vs J Veerman, 1986 (replies)
   May-18-18 S Shankland vs A Liang, 2018 (replies)
   May-18-18 Anderssen vs G Neumann, 1864 (replies)
   May-18-18 Anderssen vs G Neumann, 1864 (replies)
   May-17-18 Count Wedgemore chessforum (replies)
   May-17-18 M Bus vs R Othman, 2000 (replies)
   May-16-18 Akiba Rubinstein (replies)
   May-16-18 Evgeni Janev
   May-16-18 La Bourdonnais vs McDonnell, 1834 (replies)
   May-14-18 D Botto vs L Christiansen, 1975 (replies)
   May-14-18 Botvinnik vs Bronstein, 1951
   May-13-18 Naiditsch vs M Bluebaum, 2018
   May-13-18 G Papp vs Harshit Raja, 2018
   May-13-18 R Raubitschek vs Capablanca, 1906 (replies)
   May-12-18 D Kollars vs A A Lopez, 2017 (replies)
   May-12-18 Capablanca Memorial (2018) (replies)
   May-12-18 Fischer vs Tal, 1961
   May-11-18 Spassky vs Fischer, 1972 (replies)
   May-10-18 D Byrne vs Reshevsky, 1956 (replies)
   May-09-18 Moscow (1971) (replies)
   May-09-18 Ju Wenjun vs Tan Zhongyi, 2018
   May-09-18 Tigran Vartanovich Petrosian (replies)
   May-09-18 Daniel Yarnton Mills (replies)
   May-08-18 Portisch vs Petrosian, 1966
   May-07-18 Pivdenny Bank Chess Cup (2007)
   May-07-18 Delchev vs B Kelly, 2002 (replies)
   May-07-18 Petrosian vs Spassky, 1966
   May-07-18 David Bronstein (replies)
   May-07-18 William James Lombardy (replies)
   May-07-18 Janowski vs Didier, 1900
   May-06-18 E Williams vs Harrwitz, 1852
   May-06-18 Alexander Alekhine (replies)
   May-06-18 Karpov vs Csom, 1977 (replies)
   May-05-18 P Strauss vs P Funk, 2000 (replies)
   May-04-18 Morphy vs Anderssen, 1858 (replies)
   May-03-18 Fischer vs Spassky, 1972 (replies)
   May-03-18 Karpov - Fischer World Championship Match (1975) (replies)
   May-03-18 Polerio vs Domenico, 1610
   May-03-18 Anderssen vs G Neumann, 1865
   May-03-18 I Kniazer vs E Joppen, 1954
   May-02-18 R Rapport vs M Bluebaum, 2018 (replies)
   May-02-18 B Verlinsky vs Ilyin-Zhenevsky, 1925 (replies)
   May-02-18 G Neumann vs Anderssen, 1864
   May-01-18 Aronian vs Navara, 2017
   May-01-18 DCA Congress 27th (1899) (replies)
   Apr-29-18 Cyrus Lakdawala
   Apr-29-18 crafty chessforum
   Apr-29-18 USSR Championship (1925)
   Apr-29-18 Keene vs Robatsch, 1971
   Apr-28-18 Karjakin vs Topalov, 2018 (replies)
   Apr-28-18 S S Dodge vs J R Houghteling, 1904 (replies)
   Apr-28-18 Carlsen vs Ding Liren, 2018 (replies)
   Apr-28-18 Robert E Byrne vs Denker, 1969
   Apr-28-18 E Paehtz vs Naiditsch, 2016
   Apr-28-18 Elisabeth Paehtz (replies)
   Apr-28-18 Zoltan Sugar
   Apr-28-18 Carlsen vs Topalov, 2018 (replies)
   Apr-28-18 D King vs Larsen, 1990 (replies)
   Apr-27-18 A Giri vs Carlsen, 2018 (replies)
   Apr-27-18 Gashimov Memorial (2018) (replies)
   Apr-27-18 S Brenjo vs D Bojovic, 2008 (replies)
   Apr-25-18 Tigran A Petrosian
   Apr-25-18 Topalov vs R Mamedov, 2018 (replies)
   Apr-24-18 Ragozin vs E E Book, 1946 (replies)
   Apr-23-18 Pia Cramling (replies)
   Apr-23-18 Navara vs Topalov, 2018 (replies)
   Apr-23-18 Carlsen vs R Wojtaszek, 2018 (replies)
   Apr-22-18 Nino Khurtsidze (replies)
   Apr-22-18 Topalov vs Mamedyarov, 2018 (replies)
   Apr-22-18 Zviad Izoria (replies)
   Apr-22-18 Paris (1900) (replies)
   Apr-21-18 S Foisor vs Akshita Gorti, 2018 (replies)
   Apr-21-18 Ding Liren vs Topalov, 2018 (replies)
   Apr-21-18 R Mamedov vs Carlsen, 2018 (replies)
   Apr-21-18 Harikrishna vs R Kempinski, 2016
   Apr-20-18 V Chuchelov vs Eljanov, 2008 (replies)
   Apr-20-18 Carlsen vs Navara, 2018 (replies)
   Apr-20-18 Gheorghiu vs Karpov, 1982
   Apr-19-18 Hjartarson vs Karpov, 1986 (replies)
   Apr-19-18 Ding Liren vs R Wojtaszek, 2018 (replies)
   Apr-19-18 Sultan Khan vs Flohr, 1932 (replies)
   Apr-18-18 Ding Liren vs A Giri, 2015
   Apr-18-18 Timman vs C Lutz, 1995
   Apr-18-18 Z Almasi vs T Sammalvuo, 2015
   Apr-18-18 J H Donner vs Portisch, 1968 (replies)
   Apr-18-18 Keres vs Petrosian, 1949 (replies)
   Apr-17-18 thegoodanarchist chessforum (replies)
   Apr-17-18 Radjabov vs I V Kovalenko, 2015 (replies)
   Apr-16-18 D Sadzikowski vs A Mista, 2017 (replies)
   Apr-16-18 Fischer vs Geller, 1967 (replies)
   Apr-16-18 S Charmeteau vs V Fedoseev, 2016
   Apr-15-18 GRENKE Chess Classic (2018) (replies)
   Apr-15-18 Flohr vs Sultan Khan, 1932
   Apr-14-18 A G Conde vs P W Sergeant, 1922 (replies)
   Apr-14-18 M Bach vs R Schubert, 1996 (replies)
   Apr-13-18 Bill Gates vs Carlsen, 2014
   Apr-13-18 Bournemouth (1939)
   Apr-12-18 F Kitto vs G Abrahams, 1939
   Apr-12-18 Euwe vs A G Conde, 1939 (replies)
   Apr-12-18 G Neumann vs Anderssen, 1860
   Apr-12-18 Karpov vs Kasparov, 1986
   Apr-12-18 G Neumann vs Anderssen, 1866
   Apr-12-18 Caruana vs Aronian, 2018
   Apr-11-18 Ljubojevic vs A Planinc, 1971 (replies)
   Apr-11-18 B Ivanovic vs M Cebalo, 1986 (replies)
   Apr-10-18 A Muzychuk vs Karpov, 2016 (replies)
   Apr-10-18 Schlechter vs Chigorin, 1901
   Apr-09-18 Ljubojevic vs Mecking, 1975 (replies)
   Apr-09-18 Vitiugov vs Caruana, 2018 (replies)
   Apr-09-18 R Soffer vs Fritz, 2000 (replies)
   Apr-08-18 Carlsen vs Vitiugov, 2018 (replies)
   Apr-07-18 Howard Staunton (replies)
   Apr-07-18 E J Brooks vs J J O'Hanlon, 1906
   Apr-07-18 M Vachier-Lagrave vs Caruana, 2018 (replies)
   Apr-06-18 Vitiugov vs M Vachier-Lagrave, 2018 (replies)
   Apr-05-18 Biel Interzonal Playoff (1985)
   Apr-05-18 Spassky vs Uhlmann, 1976 (replies)
   Apr-05-18 Anand vs Caruana, 2018 (replies)
   Apr-04-18 Carlsen vs M Vachier-Lagrave, 2018 (replies)
   Apr-03-18 Z Domnitz vs Reshevsky, 1969 (replies)
   Apr-03-18 R Richmond vs Barsov, 2005
   Apr-03-18 Schlechter vs Lasker, 1910
   Apr-03-18 Naiditsch vs Vitiugov, 2018 (replies)
   Apr-02-18 Tomas Hutters
   Apr-02-18 M Bluebaum vs Carlsen, 2018 (replies)
   Apr-01-18 Vitiugov vs G Meier, 2018 (replies)
   Apr-01-18 Carlsen vs Yifan Hou, 2018 (replies)
   Apr-01-18 Victor Leonard Wahltuch (replies)
   Apr-01-18 M Bluebaum vs Vitiugov, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-31-18 Lord Dunsany
   Mar-31-18 Caruana vs Carlsen, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-30-18 B Amin vs TransWarp, 2009
   Mar-30-18 Fine vs Botvinnik, 1938 (replies)
   Mar-29-18 Kramnik vs Mamedyarov, 2018
   Mar-28-18 F Babar vs M Basman, 1993 (replies)
   Mar-28-18 Gelfand vs Carlsen, 2014
   Mar-28-18 World Championship Candidates (2018) (replies)
   Mar-27-18 Frank James Marshall (replies)
   Mar-27-18 Gufeld vs Kavalek, 1962
   Mar-27-18 Magnus Carlsen (replies)
   Mar-27-18 Grischuk vs Caruana, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-27-18 Dionysius1 chessforum (replies)
   Mar-26-18 Levon Aronian (replies)
   Mar-26-18 Baden-Baden (1870)
   Mar-26-18 Ding Liren vs Kramnik, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-26-18 Caruana vs Aronian, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-26-18 W So vs Karjakin, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-26-18 I V Kovalenko vs Navara, 2017
   Mar-26-18 Yu Yangyi vs A Shimanov, 2018
   Mar-26-18 S Sjugirov vs A Kveinys, 2017 (replies)
   Mar-25-18 Helmut Pfleger
   Mar-25-18 Karjakin vs W So, 2017
   Mar-25-18 Charles Ambrose Scott Damant (replies)
   Mar-25-18 European Individual Chess Championship (2018) (replies)
   Mar-24-18 Karjakin vs Caruana, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-24-18 F N Stacy vs Capablanca, 1909 (replies)
   Mar-23-18 Orlando Husbands (replies)
   Mar-23-18 Aronian vs Karjakin, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-23-18 San Antonio (1972)
   Mar-23-18 Ding Liren vs Grischuk, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-23-18 Caruana vs Kramnik, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-22-18 Kramnik vs Aronian, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-22-18 Mamedyarov vs Caruana, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-22-18 G Marco vs Csank, 1890
   Mar-22-18 Estrin vs R Strand, 1966
   Mar-22-18 Steinitz vs NN, 1860
   Mar-21-18 John Nunn (replies)
   Mar-21-18 Karjakin vs Kramnik, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-21-18 Pokorna vs N Gaprindashvili, 2003 (replies)
   Mar-20-18 Caruana vs Ding Liren, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-20-18 Polugaevsky vs Nunn, 1980 (replies)
   Mar-19-18 W So vs Caruana, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-18-18 Karjakin vs W So, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-18-18 Kramnik vs Ding Liren, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-18-18 Aronian vs Caruana, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-18-18 Grischuk vs Mamedyarov, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-18-18 Kramnik vs Caruana, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-18-18 L Shamburger
   Mar-18-18 Mike Papa Jr. (replies)
   Mar-18-18 T Music vs G Baric, 2001 (replies)
   Mar-17-18 Wesley So (replies)
   Mar-17-18 Shakhriyar Mamedyarov
   Mar-16-18 W So vs Aronian, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-16-18 Caruana vs Grischuk, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-15-18 W So vs Kramnik, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-15-18 Aronian vs Grischuk, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-15-18 Reuben Fine (replies)
   Mar-13-18 Gustavus Charles Reichhelm (replies)
   Mar-12-18 Carlsen vs K Holm, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-12-18 S Williams vs M Simons, 1999 (replies)
   Mar-12-18 Caruana vs Mamedyarov, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-12-18 Aronian vs Kramnik, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-11-18 Ding Liren vs Caruana, 2018 (replies)
   Mar-11-18 Ed. Lasker vs N Whitaker, 1921 (replies)
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   Mar-04-18 P Szekely vs Z Rahman, 1999
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   Mar-02-18 V Hruby vs J Mason, 1882 (replies)
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   Feb-28-18 USSR Championship (1960)
   Feb-28-18 Borislav Ivanov (replies)
   Feb-28-18 W Wittmann vs E Frosch, 2001 (replies)
   Feb-27-18 H Milligan vs S Wu, 2008 (replies)
   Feb-26-18 Spassky - Korchnoi Candidates Final (1968) (replies)
   Feb-25-18 Lake Hopatcong (1926)
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   Feb-24-18 Temahlubi Queen Dlamini vs A Z Salim-Moussa, 2014
   Feb-23-18 Adorjan vs I Polgar, 1972 (replies)
   Feb-23-18 A Schroeder vs Kupchik, 1918 (replies)
   Feb-22-18 J Mieses vs Alekhine, 1913 (replies)
   Feb-21-18 Kirill Shevchenko vs Kamsky, 2018 (replies)
   Feb-20-18 D Abrahams vs K Arakhamia-Grant, 2017 (replies)
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   Feb-06-18 Emanuel Lasker (replies)
   Feb-05-18 Mokhinur Kakhramonova vs Lucia Estrada, 2014
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   Feb-03-18 A Ipatov vs J Haarr, 2012 (replies)
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   Jan-31-18 Botvinnik vs Fischer, 1962 (replies)
   Jan-30-18 Robert E Byrne vs Browne, 1975 (replies)
   Jan-29-18 Gufeld vs N Gaprindashvili, 1968 (replies)
   Jan-29-18 A Giri vs Carlsen, 2018 (replies)
   Jan-27-18 Kramnik vs Caruana, 2018 (replies)
   Jan-27-18 Carlsen vs M Matlakov, 2018 (replies)
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   Jan-26-18 G Jones vs Jobava, 2017 (replies)
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   Jan-26-18 Mamedyarov vs Carlsen, 2018 (replies)
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   Jan-24-18 Carlsen vs W So, 2018 (replies)
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The Sun & 13 Cantons

Kibitzer's Corner
< Earlier Kibitzing  · PAGE 41 OF 41 ·  Later Kibitzing>
Premium Chessgames Member
  thegoodanarchist: In America. I meant to say "most obscene of all time in America"

Don't know if Brits are familiar with it.

Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: If you've ever heard that limerick, it is absolutely impossible to forget.
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I first heard part of the Nantucket limerick on the episode of the Simpsons where Homer goes into space. I still only know one line.

We could do a limerick-by-committee. I will give the first line and someone different does each other line...

Here goes, Please offer the second line to this chessy limerick:

<A chess player named Ernst Falkbeer,...>

Premium Chessgames Member
  thegoodanarchist: <Here goes, Please offer the second line to this chessy limerick:

<A chess player named Ernst Falkbeer,...>

Always kept a spare clock near...

Premium Chessgames Member
  Count Wedgemore: <A chess player named Ernst Falkbeer,...>

<Always kept a spare clock near...>

So at any point of day...

Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: <A chess player named Ernst Falkbeer,...>

<Always kept a spare clock near...>

<So at any point of day...>

With a sweet lass he could play...

Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: As a final line came to mind, I am reminded of a surely apocryphal story about a newspaper that ran a limerick contest. When the editor was asked how they picked the winner, he answered, "Well, we threw out all the profane and X-rated entries, and the one that was left was the winner."
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: And to whom he would eat, drink and talk beer.
Premium Chessgames Member
A chess player named Ernst Falkbeer
Always kept a spare clock near.
So at any point of day.
With a sweet lass he could play
And with whom he could eat, drink and talk beer.

This limerick has registered only 4.5 on the <Internet Huskisson Sliding Limerick Appraisal Index (IHSLAI).>

Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: A Countergambit, front and rear.
Premium Chessgames Member
  technical draw: I just saw your list of favorite players <offramp>. I must have wasted 50 years of my life because I can only recognize 5 out of the 12 you listed. I'll check them out though.
Premium Chessgames Member
  Count Wedgemore: <A Countergambit, front and rear.>

Is not for those who play with fear..

Premium Chessgames Member
  thegoodanarchist: <OhioChessFan: As a final line came to mind, I am reminded of a surely apocryphal story about a newspaper that ran a limerick contest. When the editor was asked how they picked the winner, he answered, "Well, we threw out all the profane and X-rated entries, and the one that was left was the winner.">

That at least sounds like it *should* be true.


A chess player named Ernst Falkbeer
Always kept a spare clock near.
So at any point of day.
With a sweet lass he could play
And with whom he could eat, drink and talk beer.>

<<>This limerick has registered only 4.5 on the <Internet Huskisson Sliding Limerick Appraisal Index (IHSLAI).>>

Ah, in steps the master, to finish the limerick without having to reject profane and x-rated entries.

Clever fellow, that <offramp>

Premium Chessgames Member
  Count Wedgemore: Dear <offramp>. <tga> and I are wondering if the maximum score on your (slightly) controversial <Internet Huskisson Sliding Limerick Appraisal Index (abbreviated IHSLAI) is 5 points? Because that would explain the 4.5 rating our well crafted limerick received. Inquiring minds want to know..

And why hasn't anyone picked up on <OCF>'s opening line for a new limerick, except for me, who provided a 2nd line? Come on, guys!

Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I didn't realise what it was!

<<A Countergambit, front and rear,>
Is not for those who play with fear,>

Because if you hear voices...

Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: Wow, I admire <Count> for taking what was supposed to be an alternate last line for our group limerick and instead using it as a springboard for a new one.
Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: I thought movie and limerick ratings were based on 5 stars, so 4.5 is very good.
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I think that my <> MAN OR WOMAN OR WHATEVER OF THE YEAR is going to be OhioChessFan.

He is bowling 300 at the moment with his pun submissions, and he adds a huge amount to this site all around.

The very best of luck and health to the geezer!

Premium Chessgames Member
  Count Wedgemore: <offramp> I second that opinion. And, like you, he's got a great sense of humor!
Premium Chessgames Member
  Count Wedgemore: No more takers on our new limerick? I think I'm gonna just finish it off and be done with it:

A Countergambit, front and rear.
It's not for those who play with fear.
Because if you hear voices...
Or unexplainable noises...
The ghost of Albin will appear.

What will the verdict be? How high can this go on the <Internet Huskisson Sliding Limerick Appraisal Index> scale? I'll wait in excitement..

Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Stephen Leacock » Nonsense Novels » VI. -- Sorrows of a Super Soul: or, The Memoirs of Marie Mushenough.

First, Alexis seized Otto by the waistband of his trousers and swung him round and round in the air. I could see Otto's face as he went round: the same mute courage was written on it as when he turned to run. Alexis swung Otto round and round until his waistband broke, and he was thrown into the grass.

That was the first part of the fight.

Then Alexis stood beside Otto and kicked him from behind as he lay in the grass, and they fought like that for some time. That was the second part of the fight. Then came the third and last part. Alexis picked up the easel and smashed the picture over Otto's head. It fastened itself like a collar about his neck. Then Alexis picked Otto up with the picture round his neck and threw him into the stream.

He floated!

My paladin!

He floated!

I could see his upturned face as he floated onwards down the stream, through the meadow! It was full of deep resignation.

Then Alexis Alexovitch came to me and gathered me up in his arms and carried me thus across the meadow - he is so tall and strong - and whispered that he loved me, and that tomorrow he would shield me from the world. He carried me thus to the house in his arms among the grass and flowers; and there was my father, Ivan Ivanovitch, and my mother, Katoosha Katooshavitch. And tomorrow I am to marry Alexis. He had brought back from the inn my jewels and my money, and he gave me again the diamond clasp that Otto had taken from my waist.

How can I bear it? Alexis is to take me to St Petersburg, and he has bought a beautiful house in the Prospekt, and I am to live in it with him, and we are to be rich, and I am to be presented at the Court of Nicholas Romanoff and his wife. Ah! Is it not dreadful?

<And I can only think of Otto floating down the stream with the easel about his neck. From the little river he will float into the Dnieper, and from the Dnieper into the Bug, and from the Bug he will float down the Volga, and from the Volga into the Caspian Sea. And from the Caspian Sea there is no outlet, and Otto will float round and round it for ever.>

Is it not dreadful?

- Stephen Leacock » Nonsense Novels » VI.Sorrows of a Super Soul: or, The Memoirs of Marie Mushenough.

Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I think England plays at the soccerball tomorrow.

I am certain that England will score no more than 4 goals in this entire World Cup, so I am hoping they will score none tomorrow, so that the 4 goals can be spread out among the next games.

THAT might see them through to the next round.

Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: 🃑 Ace of clubs.
Premium Chessgames Member

Now that that stupid Team White v Team Black has finished I think we should have another stuopid Caption Competion.


yOU MUST PROVIDE AN URBANE, WITTY, not caps-lock-on punchline to that picture in six thousand words or less.

Any entries which seem like threats to murder or have sex with other members of will be excluded from the judging.

The guest judge is Morgan Freeman.

The winner will receive a single wheelchair-enabled step. This will build week-by-week into a complete set of wheelchair-enabled steps AND if you reply within the next two and a half weeks, you may be eligible for 1% off off my autobiography (see my profile).

ALSO, every time you include the hashtag #potemkin, the Ukrainian government-in-exile will donate one brass kopek towards my campaign to make the Primorsky Stairs (aka the Potemkin Steps) fully wheelchair accessible.

So have a punt. Winners will be announced at 5am on 25th June 2018.

Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: "Responding to repeated appeals to monitor the Rogoff page, Daniel Freeman made the mistake of actually reading it..."
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