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Phony Benoni
Member since Feb-10-06 · Last seen Sep-03-15
Greetings, O Seeker After Knowledge! You have arrived in Detroit, Michigan (whether you like it or not), and are reading words of wisdom from a player rated 2938--plus or minus 1000 points.

However, I've retired from serious play--not that I ever took playing chess all that seriously. You only have to look at my games to see that. These days I pursue the simple pleasures of finding games that are bizarre or just plain funny. I'd rather enjoy a game than analyze it.

For the record, my name is David Moody. This probably means nothing to you unless you're a longtime player from Michigan, though it's possible that if you attended any US Opens from 1975-1999 we might have crossed paths. Lucky you.

If you know me at all, you'll realize that most of my remarks are meant to be humorous. I do this deliberately, so that if my analysis stinks to High Heaven I can always say that I was just joking.

As you can undoubtedly tell from my sparkling wit, I'm a librarian in my spare time. Even worse, I'm a cataloger, which means I keep log books for cattle. Also, I'm not one of those extroverts who sit at the Reference Desk and help you with research. Instead, I spend all day staring at a computer screen updating and maintaining information in the library's catalog. The general public thinks Reference Librarians are dull. Reference Librarians think Catalogers are dull.

My greatest achievement in chess, other than tricking you into reading this, was probably mating with king, bishop and knight against king in a tournament game. I have to admit that this happened after an adjournment, and that I booked up like crazy before resuming. By the way, the fact I have had adjourned games shows you I've been around too long.

My funniest moment occurred when I finally got a chance to pull off a smothered mate in actual play. You know, 1.Nf7+ Kg8 2.Nh6+ Kh8 3.Qg8+ Rxg8 4.Nf7#. When I played the climactic queen check my opponent looked at the board in shocked disbelief and said, "But that's not mate! I can take the queen!"

Finally, I must confess that I once played a positional move, back around 1982. I'll try not to let that happen again.

>> Click here to see Phony Benoni's game collections. Full Member

   Phony Benoni has kibitzed 15515 times to chessgames   [more...]
   Sep-03-15 Phony Benoni chessforum (replies)
Phony Benoni: They were going to give it to Tony Kubek, but he wasn't able to make an acceptance speech.
   Sep-02-15 E Hamlisch vs NN, 1899
Phony Benoni: If this was GOTD-worthy -- which it most certainly is not -- I would suggest "The Hamlisch Maneuver."
   Sep-02-15 A Seppelt vs Leganki, 1950
Phony Benoni: This is Game 8 in Irving Chernev's <The 1000 Best Short Games of Chess> (1955). He gives Black's name as "Leganski" and the year as "1950", which agree with the information given in our score. If White is actually Alfred Seppelt then he was born in 1929, which would make ...
   Sep-02-15 Bisguier vs Fischer, 1963 (replies)
Phony Benoni: <Sally Simpson> Thank you. I've known for a long time that my research methods can be sloppy, and that just confirms it.
   Sep-02-15 D H Campora vs K Shirazi, 1981 (replies)
Phony Benoni: After <58.Rxf6+ Kh5> [DIAGRAM] It's worth pointing out that White can still play for the stalemate with <59.Rh6+>. That's what usually happens in these Fire Sale Stalemates. In this case, of course, White would play for the win with 59.Qe2+, as several analysts have
   Sep-02-15 Podgaets vs M Dvoretsky, 1974 (replies)
Phony Benoni: Can't help but be reminded of the infamous "Tomb Game", B Harper vs R Zuk, 1971 . It all seems so harmless until Black's king starts moving aimlessly and White realizes he doesn't have a good reply -- or any reply at all.
   Sep-01-15 Anderssen vs Wyvill, 1851 (replies)
Phony Benoni: <Ehrenfest> After <41.Nh3> [DIAGRAM] <Subo bubo>'s 41...Qc5 is quite strong, but I lean toward the simpler <41...Qxg2>. Now 42.Qxf1 Qe4+ is mate next move, and since White's queen has no other safe moves he is forced to trade queens a piece down in a ...
   Sep-01-15 A Kuzmin vs Vasiukov, 1982 (replies)
Phony Benoni: Tear away the curtain, and expose the Wizard for what he really is.
   Aug-30-15 Georges Koltanowski
Phony Benoni: Yes, Koltanowski was never one to let facts stand in the way of a good story. But this sounds more like the complaint of an aggrieved tournament official, or perhaps an older man disgusted with the morals of the young generation. And, in any event, it must be better to look ...
   Aug-30-15 Biographer Bistro (replies)
Phony Benoni: <Tabanus> I hesitate to nominate the US Opens for promotion because I keep finding new games and information. Since I intend to keep the collections up to date. that means two places to update instead of one. Others have promoted some of them (and how I hate those numbers
(replies) indicates a reply to the comment.

Let's play two!

Kibitzer's Corner
< Earlier Kibitzing  · PAGE 282 OF 710 ·  Later Kibitzing>
Sep-29-11  Jim Bartle: Yes, well there was that. The players they buy do have to play, though. Josh Beckett, for example. Your very expensive ace just can't give up six runs in the second-to-last game of the season.
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  WannaBe: Lackey, after leaving the Angels was never 'quite the same'. Money made him complacent?
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  WannaBe: 1 in 278 <MILLION>!
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  WannaBe: 'Really' tough trivia question here...

In 2011, BoSox have a record 77-1 if they have the lead after 8 full innings.

Which game did they not win after having the lead after 8 full innings?

Premium Chessgames Member
  technical draw: <Which game did they not win after having the lead after 8 full innings??

Um, their last game?

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  WannaBe: Congratulations to <technical draw>, you have won a year's supply of Rice-o-Roni!! (Two boxes worth, that is a year's supply for a rabbit. =)
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  technical draw: And I WILL claim my two boxes....
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  WannaBe: <technical draw> Please submit form 1040TD to:

1 Wabbit Hole, Warner Brothers Studio, Hollywood, CA 91522

To expidite your award, please also enclose a check for $20.00 for S & H.

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  technical draw: Thanks, I will submit everything today. And while I'm at the post office I'll send the $1,000 to claim my Nigerian gold. Lucky me!
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  Phony Benoni: The question of wealthy teams stockpiling the most highly rated players is hardly something limited to sports. Indeed, is it not part of the American Dream to gain experience and knowledge in order to move on to more lucrative positions? It's brought into a higher profile in sports by the sheer size of the salary, but is really no different from Big City Law Firm hiring the young hotshot from Mom & Pop's Family Law Firm and General Store.

In the end, it's not the best players but who play the best. And I sometimes wonder if baseball executives get the most pleasure out of simply collecting their specimens and outdoing their rivals.

"Here's a exquisite piece I picked up from Oakland. A five-tool switch-hitting centerfielder, not yet 30 years old!"

"Marvelous! It makes me wish I had spent my money more wisely than just winning the World Series."

"You must get your priorites straight; whoever dies with the most free agents wins. But there's even more! Look at this marvelous stripe down the back!"


"What's more, it changes color to yellow whenever Fall comes! Why, with a team full of players like this, who knows what we can accomplish!"

Sep-29-11  Jim Bartle: Talking about Carl Crawford again?
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  Phony Benoni: I expect him to be making a Miller Lite commercial with Bill Buckner any day now.

All the buzz around Detroit last winter was getting either Adam Dunn or Carl Crawford in the Free Agent Garage Sale. Instead, the Tigers disappointed all their fans by taking the relatively unheralded Victor Martinez.

Oh, did they ever do the right thing! Martinez hit .330 with 103 RBIs, and help set up Miguel Cabrera's big season by hitting behind him.

We haven't talked much about Adam Dunn around here, but his season was historically bad. I mean all-time historically bad. In 122 games as the White Sox DH, he had 11 HR, 42 RBIs, 177 strikeouts, and a batting average of .159.

Sep-29-11  Shams: <In 122 games as the White Sox DH, he had 11 HR, 42 RBIs, 177 strikeouts, and a batting average of .159.>

With numbers like that, I'm sure our beloved GM Jack Z will be working the phones all offseason to swing a deal for him. The man was clearly born to be a Mariner.

Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: <PB: It's brought into a higher profile in sports by the sheer size of the salary, but is really no different from Big City Law Firm hiring the young hotshot from Mom & Pop's Family Law Firm and General Store.>

Again, the sports teams <need> their competitors, whereas Big City wouldn't mind eliminating their competitors.

Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: The White Sox sat Dunn the last 2 games to avoid him getting enough plate appearances to qualify for season records.
Sep-29-11  Shams: <OCF> Well that was kind of them. But don't we put asterisks in record books now? Whoever holds the current record might have a slight grievance if Adam Dunn's standout performance is lost to history.
Sep-29-11  Jim Bartle: PB: Was there no chance for the Tigers to hold onto Granderson? He had a heck of a season with NY.
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: <JB> It wasn't really a matter of not being able to hold on to Granderson, but simply some horse trading.

The Tigers gave up Granderson and an fairly good starting pitcher in Edwin Jackson. In return, they got (a) Austin Jackson, basically Granderson without power and possibly even better in the field; (b) Max Sherzer, a solid #3 starter who won 15 games this year; (c) Phil Coke, a strong set-up man in the bullpen; (d) Daniel Schlereth, a useful left-handed option in the bullpen. In short, they gave up some offense (of which they had plenty) to shore up the pitching staff.

Not everybody was happy with giving up Granderson, but his game is built for Yankee Stadium; there's no way he would hit 40 home runs in Detroit. He remains popular here; when the Yankees come in for game three, there won't be much booing for him.

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  WannaBe: Now that Ozzie is in Florida, this commercial will be 'fitting'

E. Jackson, when he was w/ the Dodgers, he was a flash in the pan...

So he pitched a 60-walk no hitter. How many pitchers have had a no hitter/perfect game and is not in the Hall. Or never ever mentioned again.

Besides what's-his-name that pitched back-to-back no-hitters that everyone talks about?

Sep-30-11  Jim Bartle: My mistake with Granderson. I'd thought he'd just signed as a free agent with the Yankees. And I see that though he had a great year in 2011, he wasn't so great for NY in 2010.
Premium Chessgames Member
  keypusher: I've kept track of Dunn with a sort of horrified fascination this year. The link below does a good job of putting his season in perspective. He made Rob Deer look like Ty Cobb...or at least 2011-edition Derek Jeter.

<Dunn's season was worse offensively than pretty much anyone from the Year of the Pitcher, 1968, and he broke other records that had stood for seven decades....Dunn also was 6-for-94 -- .064 -- against LHP this year with 39 strikeouts. Probably half the right-handed-hitting pitchers on the White Sox could have done better than that.>

<PB> Nice to hear about Granderson. Seems like a very good guy.

Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: <JB> Looking at Granderson's career, his 2011 numbers aren't that shocking. He once hit 30 HRs for the Tigers at Comerica Park, which is probably equivalent to a left-hander hitting 40 at Yankee Stadium.

His career year before 2011 was 2007, with a .302 average, 38 doubles, 23 triples, 23 home runs, 26 steals. His average in particular tailed off after that.

Also, in Detroit he was always the lead-off man, more or less by default, and was not able to realize his RBI and power potential. The Yankees gave him a chance to do that this year.

Austin Jackson is still just a second-year player, with all the tools and plenty of time to develop. But even so, it was a good trade for all three teams involved; Arizona got a pitcher named Kennedy from the Yankees who is an NL Cy Young candidate this year.

Premium Chessgames Member
  technical draw: Wow, I didn't realize it was THIS close:

<The Red Sox were one strike away from winning and the Rays were one strike away from losing..>

Sep-30-11  Jim Bartle: <The Red Sox were one strike away from winning and the Rays were one strike away from losing..>

As the philosopher Yogi once said...

Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: "It ain't over until the fat lady leaves the building on Elvis' arm."
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