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Phony Benoni
Member since Feb-10-06 · Last seen Mar-05-15
Greetings, O Seeker After Knowledge! You have arrived in Detroit, Michigan (whether you like it or not), and are reading words of wisdom from a player rated 2938--plus or minus 1000 points.

However, I've retired from serious play--not that I ever took playing chess all that seriously. You only have to look at my games to see that. These days I pursue the simple pleasures of finding games that are bizarre or just plain funny. I'd rather enjoy a game than analyze it.

For the record, my name is David Moody. This probably means nothing to you unless you're a longtime player from Michigan, though it's possible that if you attended any US Opens from 1975-1999 we might have crossed paths. Lucky you.

If you know me at all, you'll realize that most of my remarks are meant to be humorous. I do this deliberately, so that if my analysis stinks to High Heaven I can always say that I was just joking.

As you can undoubtedly tell from my sparkling wit, I'm a librarian in my spare time. Even worse, I'm a cataloger, which means I keep log books for cattle. Also, I'm not one of those extroverts who sit at the Reference Desk and help you with research. Instead, I spend all day staring at a computer screen updating and maintaining information in the library's catalog. The general public thinks Reference Librarians are dull. Reference Librarians think Catalogers are dull.

My greatest achievement in chess, other than tricking you into reading this, was probably mating with king, bishop and knight against king in a tournament game. I have to admit that this happened after an adjournment, and that I booked up like crazy before resuming. By the way, the fact I have had adjourned games shows you I've been around too long.

My funniest moment occurred when I finally got a chance to pull off a smothered mate in actual play. You know, 1.Nf7+ Kg8 2.Nh6+ Kh8 3.Qg8+ Rxg8 4.Nf7#. When I played the climactic queen check my opponent looked at the board in shocked disbelief and said, "But that's not mate! I can take the queen!"

Finally, I must confess that I once played a positional move, back around 1982. I'll try not to let that happen again.

>> Click here to see Phony Benoni's game collections. Full Member
   Current net-worth: 559 chessbucks
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   Phony Benoni has kibitzed 14847 times to chessgames   [more...]
   Mar-04-15 Phony Benoni chessforum
Phony Benoni: Well, Wake Forest scored 36 in the second half. Would have pulled within one if Duke hadn't scored 42. Duke must have put in the White and Gold Devils.
   Mar-03-15 chessforum (replies)
Phony Benoni: <> First of all, I'm terribly sorry to hear about your loss. I would not have brought this up had I known. Yes, it was the number of puns I hadn't yet voted on. For example: Total puns: 5000 Puns voted on: 4825 My puns submitted: 150 Puns to be voted ...
   Mar-03-15 suenteus po 147 chessforum (replies)
Phony Benoni: Peter, I can't promise to help out much. But I've put up a crosstable for <Hastings 1974/75> hefe: Game Collection: Just Checking
   Mar-03-15 F A Ponzo vs H Miranda, 2005 (replies)
Phony Benoni: With the Black bishops slicing and dicing White's king, it was not a good idea to use a valuable defender for such a menial task as attacking the opposing queen.
   Mar-02-15 L Stark vs M Devereaux, 2006 (replies)
Phony Benoni: <waustad> I have been compiling lists of the puns for some time. You can start here: Game Collection: Game of the Day Pun Index (A-B) And, despite having celebrated my 20th birthday less than a half-century ago, I understand your references.
   Mar-02-15 K Wheeler vs LeBlanc, 1869
Phony Benoni: Is there any confirmation for the date? "Ken" rather than "Kenneth" just seems a bit odd for 1869, and the move order 1.d4 Nf6 wasn't much played then either.
   Mar-02-15 A De Santis vs M Santurbano, 2005 (replies)
Phony Benoni: I will always remember this as the Pipe Game Combination. Marshall vs Burn, 1900
   Feb-26-15 Jobava vs Carlsen, 2005 (replies)
Phony Benoni: This game had me shaking my head as I played through it in the Pun Voting Booth. How could this be happening? There was a cloud of doom hovering over the position, and try as he might Jobava could never dispel it. This turns out to be a positional exchange sacrifice in the best
   Feb-25-15 D Johnson vs Viesturs Seglins, 1957
Phony Benoni: Game found in "Washington Chess Letter", February 1958, p.15, and I see what happened. If you go to Black's 15th move, you will see <16.Qf3> given as a variation. That was the actual move, but somehow got demoted. As a result <19...Be4> attacked White's queen, which
   Feb-25-15 Rubinstein vs Spielmann, 1912 (replies)
Phony Benoni: Another wonderful game for which a great pun is irrelevant. We've hit a good streak the last few days. Rubinstein certainly was a stronger player overall than Spielmann, but the latter always had what boxers refer to as "The Slugger's Chance". Here, spectacular combinations ...
(replies) indicates a reply to the comment.

Let's play two!

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  WannaBe: "Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis and the Fat Lady have left the building!"
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  WannaBe: Reading some of the pages on and came across this new sportsism...

"Pulling a Red Sox", if your team blew a 20-0 half time lead (e.g. Minnesota) during the post game, D. McNabb may say: "Dude, we totally pulled a Red Sox!"

Also, Det-Dal, 'Boys are favoured by 3 points at home, (pretty much home field adv.) Total O/U is 47.

The Madden simulation have Detroit winning by 3.

To view all the NFL week 4's simulation:

Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: Time to get serious:

Yankees beats Tigers in 4. Tigers have to get dominating starts from Verlander and Fister; any slip-up will be fatal. Too fragile a bid. Besides, I'm always wrong.

Texas beats Tampa Bay in 5. Texas has better starting pitching than you think, and should be able to score easier.

Philadelphia over St. Louis in 3. St. Louis sneaked in on the basis of Atlanta's collapse, and the Phillies seem by far the class of the NL.

Somebody from Arizona over somebody from Wisconsin in 5. Nobody will pay any attention, but I think Milwaukee is still a year or two away from maturity.

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  keypusher: <wanna be>
thanks for that link. This is the kind of simulation picture they choose for you when you are 0-3:

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  Phony Benoni: There's an interesting daily feature at ( Down a bit in the left column are a dozen thumbnail pictures of players from the old and even older days. You might find it amusing to click over there to see who you do or don't recognize.
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  WannaBe: <keypusher> You are in NY, tell the rain to stop, order it to stop! I want the game to end before bars in NY make their last call (4 AM).
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  keypusher: <wanna be> I am at work, I don't see why other people should be enjoying themselves.
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  WannaBe: Okay, okay, nothing to see here, please go away!! Game will resume tomorrow, with no traveling day (Like NY -> Det is a long flight... Sheesh!)
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  keypusher: I wonder if the higher purpose of this season is to convince the world that Joe Maddon is a genius.

After Moneyball there will be an appetite for a few more baseball movies. Wouldn't be surprised if one was about that guy.

Oct-01-11  Jim Bartle: Terry Francona is out at Boston. About time, I say. How many World Series wins did he bring to the traditional power? Only two. Compare that to his illustrious predecessors.
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: Someone had to take the fall, and Terry Francona can't play left field. He'll pop up elsewhere, though I wonder what positions will be open.

The White Sox might not be a bad fit for him. I can already see the headline: "Changing Sox".

Oct-01-11  Jim Bartle: "He'll pop up elsewhere, though I wonder what positions will be open."

I think that was the problem. Far too many Red Sox players popped up.

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  WannaBe: Bwahahahahahahahahah!!!
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  technical draw: The Yankees were winning the world series against the Red Sox 3-0. Finally losing 4 in a row and ending up losing the series 3-4. Babe Ruth put a course on the Sox and just waited for the right time. And that was last month!
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  technical draw: course=curse...
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  Phony Benoni: <td> The Red Sox played the Yankees in the World Series? I knew the Eastern Media Conglomerate ruled baseball, but that is going too far.
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  technical draw: <Phony> Ooops! I meant the AlCS...You're pretty sharp today!
Oct-01-11  Deus Ex Alekhina: When the Bosox had a 9 game lead in the run for the wildcard, they were shown on the ESPN page as having a 99.6% probability to get into the playoffs. I wonder if that translated into the Vegas betting line? If so, then someone could have made a killing by betting against them.
Oct-01-11  Bengambit: Hey,Phony Benoni,BenGambit here,i'm from Detroit,eastside,westside,all over.I hope the Tigers get away from the Yankees in that first playoff series,i really miss "Ernie Harwell" calling the games, that would have been fun to listen to,(...And here's a long belt to right and it's long gone,Home run!,the Tigers win it!!!)
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  Shams: <Deus> Yeah, but you just know Vegas is going to fleece you on a longshot like that. Assuming ESPN's numbers are gospel, that would put the true odds at slightly more than 200/1, but I doubt you could have gotten 100/1 for it at a sportsbook.
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: Yankees starting to show why they are such a good team. Fister had them baffled the first time through the lineup, but they are just too professional to be fooled forever.
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  OhioChessFan: Whereas I think that is all a bunch of sports analyst tripe. They are such a good team because they have bought such good players. If nobody gets a hit for 3, 4, 5, 20, innings, they will inevitably get many more hits than expected. We can ex post facto attribute that to "figuring out" a pitcher, but we could just as easily suggest it is mere regressing to the mean.
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  technical draw: Darn I missed the Yankees game. Anyone know who won? (......smiles....).
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: <OCF> I'm not a great admirer of sports clichés either. But the concept of "figuring out a pitcher" is one that does make a lot of sense to me, because it's part of what I feel is a very important skill in sports: the ability to adjust on-the-spot.

In the long haul, there is no doubt "regression to the mean" takes place. Better players will have better performances. But this is not simply a mathematcial and impersonal process. In the short run, it can be accelerated through observation and adjustment.

Scouting reports and film are fine, but there's nothing like seeing a pitcher in person on a particular night. The way their ball moves may change, or they may be trying a different approach that night.

By the time a pitcher has gone through the line-up once, a team has probably seen at least 40 pitches. That's a lot of data, and a lot of adjustments can be made based on it.

The Yankees hadn't seen much of Doug Fister before tonight. The first time through the lineup his results were superb. But the Yankess observed and adjusted, and Fister didn't do a good job of making adjustments himself. Nor was this an isolated incident; this group of Yankees has a long-held reputation as patient hitters who generally go deep into the count, gathering data.

You don't have to be a talented player to learn how to adjust, nor will it turn an average player into a great one. In the long run, the talented player will have better results. But in an all-important playoff game (and is there any other kind?), where doing well in the ultimate short-run situation is vital, it can make all the difference.

Oct-02-11  hangingenprise: <phony> the only big d today is detroit's defense. lions pull out another one and go 4 and 0.
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