'Boer Angstschreeuw stierf. Hij liet zijn twee zonen na: twee ooien, een kraai, een papegaai, en een ui. De broers wilden hun ooien uit elkaar houden en daartoe bonden ze aan de ene ooi een kraaieëi, en aan de andere ooi een papegaaieëi. Vanaf dat moment was de kraaieëiooi duidelijk te onderscheiden van de papegaaieëiooi.

De broers waren eeneiïge tweelingen. Om zich van elkaar te onderscheiden bedachten ze dit: de ene broer zou de ui bij zich dragen, en die aaien als hij iemand tegenkwam. Hem noemden ze de uieaaier.

The brothers were one-egged twins, and to help the other folks to keep them apart they decided that one one of them should carry the onion and stroke it whenever he met someone. People called him the onionstroker (uieaaier). However, the other brother cheated, stole another onion and stroked it when meeting someone. After a while, the other farmers got wise and realised there were two uieaaiers, the kraaieëiooiuieaaier snd the papegaaieëiooiuieaaier, but they didn't know which was which.

Fascinating, isn't it? Only, the story isn't in Dutch (Nederlands) but in an upsidedown version of that language, called Opperlands.

My translation into English:

<When I came here, every right and wrong from home turned out to be exactly reversed. Curiousness and ambitiousness, they had always been something good at home - but not for the Finnish. A concept like 'equality' was related for me with honesty. For them it is not-standing-out. For colorful they even have a negative word, something like 'eye-pain-causing'. She [<I don't know who this she is>] cites from a spring catalog from Stockmann. "You can clothe yourself unnoticed, as you know you have better things to do." Where in the world can you sell product with such a slogan?>

Curiosity and ambitiousness certainly aren't traditional Finnish virtues, but, well, it very much depends on what you're curious or ambitious <about>; they can be positive or negative. There might well be differences there, but nothing like an exact reversal. (Anyway, are they traditional Dutch virtues either?)

I'm not sure what the passage about equality is trying to say, so I can't comment on that :)

There's a Finnish word that could be translated as "eye-pain-causing" which is often applied to bright colorful things, but it's not the Finnish for "colorful" any more than "eyesore" is the English for "colorful"... the Dutch might well like bright colors somewhat more than the Finns, but I really doubt the attitudes are "exactly reversed".

As for the clothing thing, here too I don't have the faintest idea what the original slogan was or what it meant... it seems very odd to me too, but that could plausibly be just the translation. What exactly is supposed to go unnoticed, the clothes? And who's supposed not to notice?

Purely personally, I can say I've never viewed clothing as something to be noticed; it's for me to feel comfy in, end of. Various lists of "Finnish jokes" have entries like "you know you've been in Finland too long when you start viewing tracksuits as semi-formal wear", and that certainly is exactly what <I> wear to occasions calling for such... I'm not quite sure where the joke angle is, though :)

We say prostitution is allowed if you're into that sort of thing - but well, obviously we will tax you. And probably send some inspector around to check whether you have the correct qualifications and adhere to the prostitution-guidelines and code of ethics.

So no, we aren't really big on ambition either. We have a prime-minister who comes to work on a bicycle, have some bread and cheese during work - and hell we are proud how very normal they are. Just like any other civilian, except you wouldn't trust a politician with a spoon because he might stab you. Generally due to a compromise he had to make with some other politician. Nothing personal.

-

The equality-part seemed strange to me as well. Couldn't really place it - so gathered I'd simply translate it.

I don't have the original piece anymore - but the slogan was that you would be able to pass by unnoticed; go up in the crowd, that sort of thing. Because you simply can't be bothered with colors and stuff like that.

<Cherry-pick enough and you could claim anything>

Certainly :) I didn't think the piece would be that realistic, but obviously it's quite incorrect to state all cultures are the same either. So it's interesting to see unto what extend there is any truth in such little stories.

While most Finns would consider that a desirable quality in clothing, an actual slogan marketing on that point would most likely claim the product is what everybody else already wears, and I'm sure slogans like that are commonplace in the Netherlands :)

Don't think conformity or uniqueness is stressed in them though. More that there is a sale, or that you can buy 3 for the price of 2. So I wanted to buy 3 shirts for the price of 2 socks - but that wasn't allowed. They are very inconsistent.

Anyway, the Dutch are quite well known for being cheap bastards - which makes it easy for advertisement companies. Promise half a penny off, and the crowd storms your shop.

You stand head and shoulders above all In the CB hall of fame, and you're not far behind everyone In most seasonal standings, so PLEASE "advise" me on the following questions..

I'm new to this, please be gentle lol :)

1. Should I bet big on the 100% "Bankers" (I.E Carlsen v MarkFinan) even though the Odds are something ridiculous like 11 cb's for every 10 cb's wagered?? And do It often, and wait for it to pile up?

2. Do I bet small on the unrealistic 1% "Chancers" like say, MarkFinan v Carlsen with 500cb's returned for every 5cb's, on a regular basis, hoping one or two will come off?

3. Do I take say, 3 guesses on the same 3 pick lottery, all with crazy 300-1 odds hoping one of them will come off???

You see where I'm going with this, right?

I'm a bit thick!!

I mean, this Isn't the GeeGee's, nobody's getting weighed and measured, and your knowledge of chess and who's on form may be high, but you seem very lucky, so what's your secret here? You have to be doing something right mate, so any help or advice would be appreciated as I'm new to It, and gambling is one of the only vices Iv'e never really been Interested In....... until now lol... And It's already got me addicted, and driving me crazy..

Just give me a few tips please, seriously? And I will repay the favour with my winnings lol

1. Neither always betting on expected outcomes or always betting on longshots will work in the long term. Your "11 cb's for every 10 cb's wagered" can be very much worth taking if we're talking about a total mismatch, and a 100:1 longshot is just as worth taking if you think there's a better than 1% chance it will win.

2. Never invest all (or even nearly all) your money in long-term bets like tournament or match winners. There will be plenty of other opportunities in the meantime and you'll need some money to exploit those.

3. Don't make bets with a tiny payout (unless that's all you can afford) - even if your ticket wins, the tiny payout won't help you much.

4. For the pick three you need either incredible luck or a good head for probability maths. Estimate the likelihood of all the outcomes and look for an opportunity - but be sure not to spoil the odds by betting too big!

5. If you're betting big, try to bet as early as possible so the market can swallow your bets - otherwise you'll have ruined your own odds. On the other hand, if you're betting small, try to bet as late as possible so you know what the final odds are like.

6. If you think one outcome is overbet it may make sense to bet on many or even all of the other outcomes. Remember the 5% juice though :)

7. Never give up or get discouraged. Incredible comebacks are possible, especially in the last days as people are betting more wildly... I remember one leg when the eventual winner had a net worth of -c$9,000 with five rounds to go, and he didn't even hit any unlikely longshots!

8. The Loanshark is your friend. Don't be afraid of losing money as old Sharky will always be there to support you. Remember he's more generous to people with negative net worths and zero funds. Don't be afraid of taking loans and don't pay them back too early - the daily interest really does add up, but unless you're betting really small the advantages of having that extra money at your disposal can easily outweigh the downsides.

And of course, the Loanshark is <my> friend, so I'm giving him a helping hand by advertising him... ;-)

9. Even if you're not quite sure the odds are on your side it may make sense to bet just to improve your credit rating. People with higher credit ratings can make bigger bets and get bigger loans if they end up in the cellar. (But don't bet when you're sure the odds are <not> on your side!)

10. Remember games between top GMs are much more drawish than games between weaker players. This is true even if the weaker players involved are of roughly equal strength and the top GMs aren't.

11. Analyse the players involved (paying particular attention to games from the last couple years). Some players are more drawish than others. Someone nearly never loses with White (so it may make sense to bet against Black winning in his White games). Someone can be superb with White and really shaky with Black. Someone else always goes for the throat with White and plays more drawishly as Black. Someone always draws with Black <against 1.e4> and plays much more dynamically against 1.d4... the possibilities involved are endless.

Please don't strike me down lol

In all seriousness, I need tommorow's WC match to go my way, or you'll be leaving me leaving me for dead after todays Oni v Naka game!!

I went big on 1.d4 in the opening game in the WC today too, but went big on Anand to win!

There's just so many draws in chess, yet the odds are terrible...

On the help page it says he'll lend you more or less as much as you can, so you can always play the game...

So how do I borrow more money??
Like you said above one user was -9000 yet still came back to win, so he must have borrowed something from the chessbookie to get kick started again?

So what am I doing wrong? Why can't I get another loan, as currently I'm unable to pay back the 210?

Any help Is much appreciated :)

Quoting from my tips above, "don't pay [loans] back too early", and this is why - you'd likely be much happier if you still had the c$750 loan, even if it meant paying some extra interest.

The good news is that you'll likely soon qualify for bigger loans again - if you start winning money your net worth and max loan will go back up, while if you keep losing you'll soon find yourself below zero and Loanshark's normally quite generous to cellar-dwellers :)