The details of my life are quite inconsequential ... Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improvingboulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old Frenchprostitute named Chloť with webbed feet. My father would womanize; he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only thegenius possess and the insane lament ... My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon ... luge lessons ... In the spring, we'd make meat helmets ... When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds ó pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Vilmer ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum ó it's breathtaking ... I suggest you try it.
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Democracy in America is pure fantasy. None exists. Money-controlled duopoly power runs things. Voters have no say whatever.
< America is a one-party state with two wings, in lockstep on major issues mattering most.
< Elections mock legitimacy, farcical by any standard. Candidates are bought like toothpaste, cardboard cookie cut-outs of each, distinguishable by their rhetoric alone, promising one thing, delivering another.
< Each electoral cycle has the same outcome. Dirty business as usual wins every time. Police state tyranny substitutes for constitutionally guaranteed rights.>
< Fascist governance runs things, wrapped in the American flag. Voting Republican or Democrat is like choosing between death by hanging or firing squad.>
< Americans are the most out-of-touch, uninformed people anywhere, easy marks to be manipulated, deceived and betrayed.>
< All duopoly candidates are pro-business, pro-war, anti-populist, anti-labor, anti-governance serving everyone equitably and fairly.>
< All exclusively support wealth, power and privilege, the public interest be damned. The evidence speaks for itself.>
< Post-9/11, fundamental freedoms were lost, tyranny replacing them, heading toward becoming full-blown.>
< Americaís criminal class is bipartisan, waging endless wars on humanity at home and abroad, responsible for the greatest wealth transfer to the privileged few at the expense of all others. >
Social justice is being systematically eliminated, constitutional rights practically gone, international law entirely ignored.
< America was never beautiful. No nation in world history ever more greatly threatened humanityís survival. The possibility of cataclysmic nuclear war should scare everyone.
< It doesnít matter whoís president or in Congress. Americaís imperial agenda remains unchanged - reckless, ruthless, lawless.
< Voters believing elections can change things are living in a fantasy world. The entire process is rigged and corrupted, independents entirely shut out. Billionaires like Ross Perot and Michael Bloomberg, if he runs for president, are the exceptions proving the rule.>
< Anyone outside the duopoly system is marginalized and ignored, media scoundrels giving them no coverage.>
< The system is rigged to assure continuity. Names and faces change. Policies stay the same - too corrupted to fix, money-controlled gangsterism, a bipartisan criminal class running things.>
< The business of America is endless wars of aggression, corporate favoritism, elitism at the expense of equity and justice, stealing from the poor for the rich, eliminating the bedrock middle class, transforming the nation into a ruler-serf society - unsafe and unfit to live in, pursuing reckless policies risking humanityís survival.>
< A long, agonizing primary season lies ahead, dominating mainstream news (sic) reporting, most people getting it on television.>
< Before it became the dominant medium, a prescient observer said if it caught on, weíd have a nation of morons.>
< Americans are an easily manipulated populace, what journalist Walter Lippmann once called ďthe bewildered herd.Ē>
< Ordinary people are spectators, not participants in policymaking, unaware how duopoly power harms their welfare, indifferent about doing anything about it - why America is the greatest threat to world peace and humanityís survival.
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"Stupidity has a certain charm - ignorance does not.
I think it's really tragic when people get serious about stuff. It's such an absurdity to take anything really serious ... I make an honest attempt not to take anything seriously: I worked that attitude out about the time I was eighteen, I mean, what does it all mean when you get right down to it, what's the story here? Being alive is so weird.
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Q: "Who is going to defend the country without the Army?"
Zappa: <"From what? <The biggest threat to America is its own federal government...> Will the Army protect anybody from the FBI? The IRS? The CIA? The Republican Party? The Democratic Party?... The biggest dangers we face today don't even need to sneak past our billion-dollar defense systems... they issue the contracts for them.">
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Iím vile and perverted.
Iím obsessed and deranged.
Iíve existed for years but very little has changed.
Iím the tool of the government and industry too.
For Iím destined to rule and regulate you.
You may think Iím pernicious, but you canít look away.
Iíll make you think Iím delicious with the stuff that I say.
Iím the best you can getÖ have you guessed me yet?
Iím the slime oozing out of your TV setÖ.
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Frank Zappa quotes:
- Drop out of school before your mind rots from exposure to our mediocre educational system. Forget about the Senior Prom and go to the library and educate yourself if youíve got any guts. Some of you like Pep rallies and plastic robots who tell you what to read.
- What I always say is that <politics is the entertainment branch of industry.>
- My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.
- If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.
- I'm probably more famous for sitting on the toilet than for anything else that I do.
- Tobacco is my favorite vegetable.
- What's the ugliest part of your body?
Some say your nose,
some say your toes,
but I think it's <your mind>.