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offramp
Member since Aug-16-03 · Last seen Jul-27-25

<Slowly the ivy on the stones
Becomes the stones. Women become
The cities, children become the fields
And men in waves become the sea.>

Chess players that play interesting games:

1. Alekhine
2. Planinc
3. Steinitz
4. Miles
5. Larsen
6. Bronstein
7. Marshall
8. Kamsky.
9. Charousek.

*******

Where is <Cibator>?
Where's the justice?
And when justice is gone
There's always force
And when force is gone
There's always Nafisa Muminova.

>> Click here to see offramp's game collections.

Chessgames.com Full Member
   Current net-worth: 1,436 chessbucks
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   offramp has kibitzed 24323 times to chessgames   [more...]
   Jul-27-25 Kasparov vs Short, 1993
 
offramp: Panic in the disco, hang the DJ.
 
   Jul-27-25 T Carroll vs A Cont, 2025
 
offramp: Black walked into a <Inf:T-408-b-Phil.c.2>: a Philidor Smothered Mate. A few days earlier he made a big boo-boo. B Clarke vs A Cont, 2025 [DIAGRAM] 17...Rbe8? Oh fie!
 
   Jul-26-25 O Verbytski vs J Jackson, 2025
 
offramp: 20. Nd2 was a ?. What was he thinking about?? [DIAGRAM]
 
   Jul-26-25 P Roberson vs A Vaidyanathan, 2025
 
offramp: The black ♘ that started at g8 had an eventful life. When that knight appeared at f4... 16...Nf4, I thought Black was winning, and the ♘ was deadly. [DIAGRAM] Really, White should have exterminated the ♘ at f4. ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ The black knight survived to the ...
 
   Jul-26-25 M Hebden vs Hodgson, 1985 (replies)
 
offramp: The great Tony Miles dragged up a whole generation of chess players that became GMs. They won loads of rating points all over the UK and Short, Nunn, Speelman became famous players. But there is a <milieu> - a <demimonde> of chess players who are nomads. Two of those are
 
   Jul-26-25 S Vaidyanathan vs T Elgar, 2025
 
offramp: 11...exd3. [DIAGRAM] 12. Qxh8. That can't turn out well. But White had got in a position where he <HAS> to take the rook. 16...0-0-0. [DIAGRAM] Everything had gone wrong for White from before move 1.
 
   Jul-26-25 I Myall vs S A Jones, 2025
 
offramp: This is a very good game! It is really like one of those Anderssen games. The opening is <ancient>. 9. Qe5+. [DIAGRAM] 9...Kd7 10. Kd2! Bravo! ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ 13...Nxe4+. [DIAGRAM] Caramba! White is now in a tight spot. Why did he play that silly ...
 
   Jul-26-25 J Emms vs D Mason, 2025
 
offramp: <EMMS DISPATCH> White out-rated Black by about 400 Elo points. White said, come and get me! It was a bit like Ali's Rope-a-dope. 18...h4. [DIAGRAM] White started counter-punching. 19. Nf5. 𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯 For Black, everything looked hunkey-dorey. ...
 
   Jul-25-25 R D Miedema vs L Pliester, 2006
 
offramp: Napoleon I took control of the netherlands (i.e. now Benelux) and REQUIRED lowland citizens to have <SURNAMES>. One wag chose the surname <SURINAM🇸🇷>, because his family made 65,000 guilders peddling very very bitter oranges. Go figure! Mr Leon Pliester had a ...
 
   Jul-25-25 T Khoury vs M Hebden, 2025 (replies)
 
offramp: Hebbers played 37...Bf6 with no ulterior or ultraviolet threat. [DIAGRAM] 38. Bf3 Qb6. He wanted to swap off the queens. 39. Qb4? [DIAGRAM] THAT is certainly ultraviolet.
 
(replies) indicates a reply to the comment.

Ye Olde Offrampe Predicktions

Kibitzer's Corner
< Earlier Kibitzing  · PAGE 81 OF 81 ·  Later Kibitzing>
Jul-15-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Have you been watching the Gi̶r̶l̶s̶' Women's Football, in Switzerland?

The timing is done by Hublot, https://www.hublot.com/

Apparently, when the quarter-finals start the referee can blow her whistle at the exactly correct moment to start the game.

She will start the game within 0.00001% of the actual correct start instant, using the moon laser beam reflector directly into her brain.

Isn't that great?

Jul-15-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: <The Wicker Man> with Edward Woodward? He plays a Scot policeman, a sergeant.

How about inserting this 10-seconds of dialogue:

Policeman: <"I am from England. I am on transfer to Scotland.">

Islander: <"Ah! That explains your accent!">

Jul-16-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I am thinking of holding a Prediction Contest. I'll give 6 statements with YES/NO replies.
This will be the preamble:

<You have to imagine our world on 31/12/2025, the last day of 2025.>

Is Vladimir Putin the leader of Russia?
̶H̶a̶s̶ ̶T̶o̶k̶y̶o̶ ̶b̶e̶e̶n̶ ̶a̶t̶t̶a̶c̶k̶e̶d̶ ̶b̶y̶ ̶m̶o̶n̶s̶t̶e̶r̶s̶?̶ Is Gukesh the World Chess Champion?
̶W̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶H̶e̶r̶r̶i̶n̶g̶b̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶S̶t̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶B̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶S̶t̶y̶l̶e̶?̶ Is P Diddy in a prison cell?
Are there 2 Beatles still alive?
......

Jul-16-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Did you know that the Mohs Scale and the Scoville Scale both start at
1.00000 Talcum Powder.
Jul-16-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Three adverts that hugely annoy me:

(1) Spanish/American adverts that have been over dubbed with English. <Calgon> is the worst offender.

(2) Adverts that are 100% AI, e.g. <Messi> goes to a pub in London and requests Walkers crisps and the whole pub is full of famous footballers of all genders.

.....

Jul-16-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: (3) Begging adverts, which want £3 a month for water to Africa. They go on and and on and on. I have a direct debit to UNESCO, so I am out of that loop.

Water to Africa, water to Africa, water to Africa, water to Africa, water to Africa. Buy a bottle, dude.

Jul-16-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Today, the chef Chris Stein was making haute cuisine in Sicily.

It was a pork dish.

At the end I thought he said it was <pigs>.

It was <figs>.

Jul-16-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp:
Is Vladimir Putin the leader of Russia?
Is Gukesh the World Chess Champion?
Are 2 Beatles still alive?
Did Jannik Sinner win the US Open at Tennis?
Did Nodirbek Abdusattorov win the <FIDE Grand Swiss Tournament> [I believe it will be in Uz]?
Is Fabiano Caruana second on the FIDE Elo rating list?
Jul-16-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I think these questions look all right.

I'll post them tomorrow evening, unless anyone has some suggestions.

Jul-18-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I am holding <𝖄𝖊 𝕺𝖑𝖉𝖊 𝕺𝖋𝖋𝖗𝖆𝖒𝖕𝖊 𝕻𝖗𝖊𝖉𝖎𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝕮𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖘𝖙>.

SIX questions that have <YES/NO> answers.

Your entry could look like this: YNYNYN.

Give your entry before 31/7/2025.

So here are the questions:

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝟯𝟭/𝟭𝟮/𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱

1. Is Vladimir Putin the leader of Russia?
2. Is Gukesh the World Chess Champion?
3. Are the 2 Beatles still alive (Paul/Ringo)?
4. Did Jannik Sinner win the US Open at Tennis?
5. Did Nodirbek Abdusattorov win the <FIDE Grand Swiss Tournament> [I believe it will be in Uz]?
6. Is Fabiano Caruana second on the FIDE Elo rating list?

Jul-18-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I love cricket. What's not to like? Well, I'll tell you what's not to like.

A cricketer pays the most for any sportsperson. Bat, helmet, gloves, box, whites, spiky shoes, thigh pads...also you need a ball!

Cricket is the <MOST> corrupt sport, even more than boxing.
To rig a cricket game is not hard: you have to bribe 3 players.
Game-fixing has been going on in cricket since 1717. Non-stop since then.

Here is another BIG problem with cricket: <being a spectator>.
If you are on the boundary you will see <nothing>, except the back of the fielder at deep mid-wicket.
The main action will happen 60 yards away, at the stumps. All you'll see is a dozen white blobs murmuring away to each other.
At a county ground the scorebox will update the score every now and then.

Cricket is much better on telly. But A DAY AT actual CRICKET is also excellent at a local match; visiting the ground stalls, meeting young players, having a few beers, some food, it's a great day out.

Jul-18-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  perfidious: <offramp>, my responses:

1.Y

2.Y

3.Y

4.Y

5.N

6.N

Jul-18-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Here are mine:

YNNNNN.

Jul-19-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: 1. Maybe
2. Maybe
3. Maybe
4. Maybe
5. Maybe
6. Maybe
Jul-19-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: YYYNNY

No copying my answers. They are ©

Jul-19-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: The biggest explosion we have had in our house was in the kitchen.

A friend gave me a <microwave egg poacher>.
He accidentally bought 2.

I followed the instructions but <something> went wrong.

The microwave door blew out most royally. I thought it was a terrorist attack on my house.

<THE INSIDE OF THE MICROWAVE> looked like a Costa Rican prison toilet (i.e. it looked bad).

I was going to throw away the microwave but I managed to clean it.

I think <that> explosion was a bit like that Beirut explosion.

Jul-19-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: So my advice is <NEVER USE A MICROWAVE EGG-POACHER>.

Ever.

Jul-19-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  Sally Simpson: 1. Is Vladimir Putin the leader of Russia? (yes - if not it may be someone who is even more bonkers, so we must be careful what we wish for.)

2. Is Gukesh the World Chess Champion? (yes, he will not have to defend his title till 2026)

3. Are the 2 Beatles still alive (Paul/Ringo) (hope so - yes)

4. Did Jannik Sinner win the US Open at Tennis?
(who cares? Abstain.)

5. Did Nodirbek Abdusattorov win the <FIDE Grand Swiss Tournament> (hope not, name too difficult to spell - I want Giri to to win - No.)

6. Is Fabiano Caruana second on the FIDE Elo rating list? (No. and if he is I shall print off my own elo list and knock him down to 3rd.)

Jul-19-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: <𝖄𝖊 𝕺𝖑𝖉𝖊 𝕺𝖋𝖋𝖗𝖆𝖒𝖕𝖊 𝕻𝖗𝖊𝖉𝖎𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝕮𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖘𝖙>

SIX questions that have <YES/NO> answers.

Your entry could look like this: YNYNYN.

Give your entry before 31/7/2025.

So here are the questions:

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝟯𝟭/𝟭𝟮/𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱

1. Is Vladimir Putin the leader of Russia?
2. Is Gukesh the World Chess Champion?
3. Are the 2 Beatles still alive (Paul/Ringo)?
4. Did Jannik Sinner win the US Open at Tennis?
5. Did Nodirbek Abdusattorov win the <FIDE Grand Swiss Tournament> [I believe it will be in Uz]?
6. Is Fabiano Caruana second on the FIDE Elo rating list?

Jul-19-25  Messiah: YYYNYN
Jul-20-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  fredthebear: FTB agreez with perfidubious, but copying a lozer who haz upped hiz game to imprudent drawz, drawz, drawz

https://www.uschess.org/msa/XtblPlr...

https://www.uschess.org/msa/XtblPlr...

https://www.uschess.org/msa/XtblPlr...

is NO WAY to be a Winner.

So, FTB will include some wishful thinking...

NYYNNN

The Deacon's Bear-Yarn
by Sam Walter Foss

When the Deacon told his bear-yarn we would gather round to hear him,

In open-mouthed expectancy to drink in all he said;

For all list'ners who drew near him could not choose but to revere him,

For an aureole of honor rested on the Deacon's head.

'Twas a tale of gore and slaughter, where the red blood flowed like water,

Such as ear had never heard of, or the heart could not conceive;

But our faith did never weaken in that bear-yarn of the Deacon—

When the Deacon told his bear-yarn we would listen and believe.

We had listened to the horse-liar and the fish-liar and the snake-liar,

But they told no tale of wonder with the Deacon's to compare;

Though their tales were dark and dire, not a tale of not a liar

Approached the truthful story of the Deacon and the bear.

'Twas a tale of awful terror, but without a shade of error;

And whereas it was impossible the Deacon could deceive,

We knew the Deacon's bear-yarn was an honest, fair, and quare yarn—

When the Deacon told his bear-yarn we would listen and believe.

When the Deacon told his bear-yarn we could hear the bone a-breaking,

And the loud reverberations of the bear's resounding growl;

We could feel the mountains shaking, and the very planet quaking,

And the air a-palpitating with the thunder of his howl.

Oh, the sanguinary, savage fierceness of the awful ravage

Of the roaring, ravening monster, heart of man cannot conceive!

But, whereas we knew the Deacon from the truth could never weaken—

When the Deacon told his bear-yarn we would listen and believe.

When the fierce bear wound his red jaws round the white neck of the Deacon,

And we heard the Deacon gurgle with a deathgasp of despair,

How our trembling knees would weaken as we gazed upon the Deacon,

And our lifted hats go flying from our perpendicular hair!

When into the mad bear's vitals—strangest of all strange recitals—

Did the Deacon plunge his right arm, with its reeking, bloody sleeve,

And tear out the bear's heart beating, as you'd tear a piece of sheeting—

When the Deacon told this bear-yarn we would listen and believe.

Fiercer, wilder, grew the contest every time we did behold it,

Wilder, fiercer, fought the Deacon, fiercer, wilder, raged the bear;

It was bloodier, more terrific, every time the Deacon told it,

Till at length there was no story w ith this bear-yarn could compare.

Bear and Deacon m ixed and mangled, gore incrusted, blood bespangled,

Dance through sanguin ary wal tzes that the m ind cannot conceive;

But there is a deathless beauty in all truth, and 'tis our duty

When the Deacon tells his bear-yarn just to listen and believe.

Jul-21-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  Troller: YYYNNN

You heard it here first.

Jul-22-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp:
<YES!!>

Today I saw my first Christmas advert.

It was on Channel 4. It was for a huge artificial Xmas tree.

I claim the record.

Jul-22-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I want to tell you about a guy....

I was up at the bar buying a beer. That's a good idea!

At the bar, a man of my age had a great idea: me and he could <go back to his place> and 🍆🍑😩👉👌💦εつ▄█▀█●.

I bought my drink and left that conversation.

The guy at the bar, I saw him again in that pub. He was always densely unshaved.
This guy had <ROARING> testerone. He wanted ● █▀█▄ Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ لں͞ in any direction.

His job....was a ..... Bingo caller.

Jul-22-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: The only good kibitz that I made:

I made a kibitz ( and it was a good one ) that a guy decided to pay his credit card bill!😎🤏😳🕶🤏𝖂𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖎𝖌𝖒𝖆 ꧁ঔৣ☬✞𝓓𝖔𝖓✞☬ঔৣ꧂

Jump to page #    (enter # from 1 to 81)
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