* QP: Game Collection: Q peón

Check out these additional comedic paraprosdokian examples, and notice how they often use puns:

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. –Groucho Marx He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. –Zsa Zsa Gabor I haven't slept for 10 days, because that would be too long. –Mitch Hedberg Standing in the park today, I was wondering why a frisbee looks larger the closer it gets...then it hit me. –Stewart Francis When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. –Rodney Dangerfield My husband can't stand to see trash and garbage lying around the house – he can't stand the competition. –Phyllis Diller Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. –George Carlin There are three kinds of people in the world – those who can count, and those who can't. –Unknown I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world because they'd never expect it. –Jack Handey The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring. –Milton Berle I'm a very tolerant man, except when it comes to holding a grudge. –Robin Williams I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking,'"but I don't have that much time. –Stephen Wright Always remember my grandfather's last words: "A truck!" –Emo Phillips Half of all marriages end in divorce—and then there are the really unhappy ones. –Joan Rivers

Paraprosdokians From Movies and Television Shows Sitcoms and movies often use paraprosdokians as one-liners for their characters. Shows like Arrested Development and Seinfeld use so many one-liners that they're regularly quoted long after coming off the air! Check out these funny paraprosdokians from movies and television:

If I could say a few words, I would be a better public speaker. –The Simpsons (1989) You know what they say: you can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or he'll die. –Golden Girls If you want to receive emails about my upcoming shows, please give me money so I can buy a computer. –Friends "That's the true spirit of Christmas: people being helped by people other than me." –Seinfeld When you first entered the restaurant, I thought you were handsome. And then you spoke. –As Good as It Gets (1997) I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. –The Office Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the War Room! –Dr. Strangelove, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb I hope that someday you'll know the indescribable joy of having children and of paying someone else to raise them. –The Addams Family Her lips said "No," but her eyes said "read my lips." –Frasier She thinks I'm too critical. That's another fault of hers. –Arrested Development

Paraprosdokians From Writers
Writers love using wordplay to keep their readers guessing. Clever writers sprinkle paraprosdokians into their descriptions, narration, and dialogue to establish a humorous tone. Here are some examples of paraprosdokians from authors:

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. –Mark Twain Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

 –Peter De Vries I have the heart of a small boy – in a glass jar on my desk. –Stephen King People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. –A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. In three days no one could stand him. –Joseph Heller, Catch 22 The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps. –Robert Benchley Gravity is a contributing factor in 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects. –Dave Barry When I was young I used to think that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old, I know it is. – Oscar Wilde He's a writer for the ages…for the ages of four to eight. –Dorothy Parker

Paraprosdokians From Historical Figures
Popular politicians are known for their wit and clever sayings. No matter which political party you vote for, you'll enjoy these hilarious paraprosdokians from history:

Thomas Jefferson once said, "We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works." And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying. –Ronald Reagan You know nothing for sure...except the fact that you know nothing for sure. –John F. Kennedy We can always count on the Americans to do the right thing, after they have exhausted all the other possibilities. –Winston Churchill Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt. –Herbert Hoover People say I'm indecisive, but I don't know about that. –George H.W. Bush Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. –Benjamin Franklin

Funny Animal Puns
Puns involving animals are a-moose-ing! Take a look at these pun examples from the animal world.

Aquatic Animal Puns
The shallowest ponds and the deepest oceans are full of aquatic life — and they're also full of puns! Swim through these funny puns about animals that live in the water.

Biologists have recently produced immortal frogs by removing their vocal cords. They can't croak. The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop them a line. On the surface of things, whales are always blowing it. The marine biology seminars weren't created for entertainment, but for educational porpoises. The fish are getting annoying with their octopus neighbor. He tentacles late at night. The tuna married the swordfish because he was such a catch. Marine mammals are simply otter this world.
Crustaceans only think of themselves. They're so shellfish. This reef is the strongest part of the ocean because it has so many mussels. I can't tell if this fish is lying; she's being so koi.

Farm Animal Puns
Don't feel sheepish if you don't know many puns yet. Catch up with these udderly great farm animal puns.

A horse is a very stable animal.
If you hear it from the horse's mouth, you're listening to a neigh-sayer. After the horse ate all of his hay, he had a baleful look about him. One horse said to another, "Your pace is familiar, but I don't remember the mane." The farmer bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it. The best way to stop a charging bull is to take away his credit card. It's no fun telling jokes to cattle; they've herd it all. Why was the goose jealous of the sheep? Her husband kept saying "I love ewe." The pig got out again, but don't worry — I tractor down. Why did the calf need to go to bed? Her mother told her it was pasture bedtime.

Puns About Cats and Dogs
The only thing people love more than cats and dogs are funny puns about them. You won't be kitten around when you tell these jokes to your pets!

What do you get if you cross a setter and a pointer at Christmas time? You get a pointsetter. A cat ate some cheese and waited for a mouse with baited breath. If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter? Don't trust a Great Dane to tell you the truth — all they have are tall tails. It's raining cats and dogs, so don't step in a poodle! Cats have a great sense of humor. They're a-mew-sed by hiss-terical jokes! My dog's not misbehaving on his walk; he's just renegotiating the terms of his leash. Losing your feline friend can be a cat-astrophe. Cats are wonderful friends because they have great purr-sonalities. Dogs are such good companions because they're so paw-sitive.

Puns About Insects
Bugs aren't just creepy and crawly — they're funny too. These funny puns about insects are super fly!

Scientists have created a flea from scratch.
Insects that make honey are always on their best beehive-iour. When a new hive is done, bees have a house-swarming party. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. It's hard to know which bug to vote for, but I'm choosing the lesser of two weevils. Spiders are great Internet consultants. They're always finding bugs in the web. What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot? A walkie-talkie. Why are people who carry bees considered good-looking? Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder. Why do male ants float while female ants sink? They're buoy-ant.

Bird Puns
Ready to quack up? Tell these punny jokes about birds to your friends, family and neighborhood fowl.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. The flock of doves decided to stage a coo.
Peacocks are meticulous because they show attention to de-tail. The duck said to the bartender, "Put it on my bill." It's amazing how eagles catch their prey; they must be really talon-ted. Birds are grouchy in the morning because their bills are over-dew. When a vulture flies, he takes carrion luggage.
An angry bird landed on a doorknob. Then it flew off the handle. The chicken crossed the playground to get to the other slide. Nature reserves are an eagle-opportunity employer. Puns About Other Animals
The whole zoo's here! See if your favorite animal is the source of a great pun.

It's OK to watch an elephant bathe, as they usually have their trunks on. Don't get into business with a cheetah — cheetahs never prosper. A skunk fell in the river and stank to the bottom. An elephant's opinion carries a lot of weight.
Don't trust that big cat; he's lion.
Deer couples always spend time apart. It makes the heart grow fawn-der. Squirrels always remember where they hide their nuts because they use acorn-nyms. Giraffes aren't great comedians; their jokes always go over our heads. My pet bird fell in love with a light brown rodent. Her love is in-tan-gerbil. Marsupials always get the job because they have the best koala-ifications.

Funny Food Puns
There is always room for a good food pun. They're likely to get a little cheesy, but you'll definitely enjoy them.

You ain't got muffin on me.
Just dill with it!
He's nacho poppa!
Let's taco ‘bout it!
Do you want to ketchup?
I donut know how I would live without you.
I bet the butcher the other day that he couldn't reach the meat that was on the top shelf. He refused, saying that the steaks were too high. We love high-quality produce that's not too thick, so we won't settle for meaty-okra vegetables. Why was the clumsy farmer a great DJ? Because he was always dropping beets. The mushroom is always the hit of the party — he's a real fungi. Funny Coffee Puns
If you aren't laughing yet, then it's about to get hot in here. Because there are a latte punny coffee jokes!

I love you a latte.
I want to espresso my love.
Where you have bean all my life?
What did the coffee tell his date? You're brew-tiful. Coffee beans have successful marriages because they keep each other grounded. You mocha me crazy.
Hipsters always burn their tongues because they drink their coffee before it's cool. Coffee beans are always late; they're chronic pro-caffeinators. Why did the tea break up with her older coffee boyfriend? He was so cold and bitter. I wanted to order a new drink, but affogato what it's called.

Pizza Puns
Pizza puns are knead-to-know puns. How many ways can you think of using pizza in your punny jokes?

You always have a pizza my heart!
Enjoy your pizza while it lasts. It's here today, gone tomato. How do you avoid burning Hawaiian pizza? Cook it at aloha temperature. I don't like this pizza very much. There's mushroom for improvement. What is pizza's favorite play? The Slice-Man Cometh. Give pizza chance.
I never sausage a beautiful pizza.
I fall to pizzas when I'm without you.
Pizza chefs work extra hard because they knead the dough. With pizza jokes, it's all in the delivery.
Medical Puns
Medicine is not a joking matter, but it is a little humerus. Enjoy a few other medical puns that might tickle your funny bone.

What did the muscle say to the blood vessel? "You're being a little vein." What did the phlebotomist say to cheer up the patient? "B positive." What did the leg say to the foot? "It's going tibia k!" I was worried about my transplant surgery, but the surgeon really de-livered. What happens when you have a bladder infection? Urine trouble. Why can't you lie to the x-ray tech? They can see right through you. I used to disapprove of organ transplants, but now I've had a change of heart. Why are legs hereditary? Because they run in your jeans. Why did the appendix get dressed up? Because she heard the doctor was taking her out tonight. Don't annoy a pediatrician. They have little patients.

Funny Puns for Music
Music can be a bit punny too, but it's definitely an orchestrated effort. See how many music puns you know!

You're in treble now!
To fix a large horn, you just need a tuba glue.
You're a natural beauty. Thanks, you look sharp yourself. If you don't C sharp before crossing the street, you'll B flat. I'm here for you! Uke can do it!
We play more than classical music in this orchestra. We think outside the Bachs. Why did the balloons run away from the concert? They were playing pop music! Orchestral music is inappropriate for children because it has so much sax and violins. Why can't guitars relax? Because they're so fretful. Why do pirates want to sing soprano? So they can live in the high C's. Playing With Sound and Spelling
There aren't really any stand-alone, one-word puns, as they all need some kind of context to create the wordplay. However, in many cases, the pun is formed within the context by one simple word that sounds like a different word or has another meaning.

Homophonic puns substitute one word for a similar-sounding word. (For example: A good pun is its own reword.) Homographic puns use a word that has two different meanings or substitutes a word with the same spelling but different meaning as the word for which it was substituted. (For example: Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself?) Compound puns use a string of two or more words that sound similar to a string of different words. (For example: Where do you find giant snails? On the ends of giants' fingers.) Compound puns can also indicate a pun that uses two instances of wordplay (For example: What should you say to a melon couple? I know you canteloupe, but oh, honeydew!)

Acronyms and Initialisms:
Worksheet Printouts Click Here for
K-3 Themes

An acronym is a pronounceable word that is formed using the first letters of the words in a phrase (sometimes, other parts of the words are also used). Some common acronyms include NASA (which stands for "National Aeronautical and Space Administration"), scuba ("Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus") and laser ("Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation"). An initialism is a word that is formed using the first letters of the words in a phrase -- it is pronounced like a series of letters, not like a word. Some common initialisms include UFO (which stands for "Unidentified Flying Object") and LOL (which stands for "Laughing Out Loud").

Note: Some people consider both of these to be acronyms.

Some common acronyms (and initialisms) include:
AC - Air Conditioning
AD - Anno Domini ("In the Year of Our Lord")
AKA - Also Known As
AM - Ante Meridiem (before noon)
AM - Amplitude Modification (radio)
ASAP - As Soon As Possible
ATM - Automated Teller Machine
B&B - Bed and Breakfast
BC - Before Christ or Because
BCE - Before the Common Era
BLT - Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato
BTW - By The Way
CC - Credit Card
CIA - Central Intelligence Agency
CO - Commanding Officer
CST - Central Standard Time
DOA - Dead on Arrival
DOT - Department of Transportation
DST - Daylight Saving Time
EST - Eastern Standard Time
ET - Extra-Terrestrial
FAQ - Frequently-Asked Questions
FBI - Federal Bureau of Investigation
FDR - Franklin Delano Roosevelt
FM - Frequency Modification (radio)
FYI - For Your Information
GI - Government Issue
GMO - Genetically Modified
IM - Instant Message
IMO - In My Opinion
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
HAZ-MAT - Hazardous Material
HMO - Health Maintenence Organization
ID - Identification
IQ - Intelligence Quotient
ISBN - International Standard Book Number
JFK - John Fitzgerald Kennedy
JV - Junior Varsity
KO - Knockout
laser - Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation LCD - Liquid Crystal Display
LED - Light Emitting Diode
LOL - Laughing Out Loud
MC - Master of Ceremonies
MLK - Martin Luther King, Jr.
MO - Modus Operandi
MRE - Meals Ready to Eat
MS - Manuscript
MST - Mountain Standard Time
MTG - Magic: The Gathering
MTD - Month To Date
NIB - New In the Box
NAFTA - North American Free Trade Agreement
NASA - National Aeronautical and Space Administration NATO - North Atlantic Treaty Organization
NBA - National Basketball Association
NIB - New In the Box
NIMBY - Not In My Backyard
OJ - Orange Juice
OPEC - Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries PBJ - Peanut Butter and Jelly
PC - Politically Correct
PI - Private Investigator
PIN - Personal Identification Number
PM - Post Meridiem (after noon)
POTUS - President of the United States
POW - Prisoner of War
PPS - Post-Postscript
PS - Postscript
PR - Public Relations
PSI - Pounds Per Square Inch
PST - Pacific Standard Time
Q&A - Question and Answer
R&R - Rest and Relaxation
RAM - Random Access Memory
RGB - Red, Green, Blue
RIP - Rest in Peace (from the Latin, "Requiescat In Pace") ROM - Read Only Memory
ROTC - Reserve Officers Training Corps
ROYGBIV - Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet RPG - Role Playing Game
RSVP - Répondez S'il Vous Plaît (in French, this means "Please respond") RV - Recreational Vehicle
scuba - Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus SNAFU - Systems Normal, All Fouled Up
SOP - Standard Operating Procedure
SOS - Save Our Souls (decided after the fact - SOS was chosen because it was short in Morse code) SPF - Sun Protection Factor (how sunscreen lotion is rated) TBA - To Be Announced
TEOTWAWKI - The End Of The World As We Know It
TGIF - Thank God It's Friday
TLC - Tender Loving Care
TV - Television
UFO - Unidentified Flying Object
UN - United Nations
UNICEF - United Nations Children's Fund
UPC - Universal Product Code
VIP - Very Important Person
VP - Vice President
WASP - White Anglo Saxon Protestant
WHO - World Health Organization
WOM - Word of Mouth
WoW - World of Warcraft
WYSIWYG - What You See Is What You Get
YTD - Year To Date
ZIP (code) - Zone Improvement Plan

Common Acronyms in Pop Culture
You may not even realize that your favorite TV show, movie character or musician is using an acronym as their name!

ABBA (musical group) - Agnetha, Björn, Benny, Anni-Frid (first names of the band's members)

BUMP (slang) - Bring Up My Post

HER (musician) - Having Everything Revealed

NERD (musical group) - No one Ever Really Dies

SHIELD (TV show) - Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division

WALL-E (animated character) - Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth-Class

YAHOO (search engine) - Yet Another Hierarchical Officious Oracle

Common Acronyms in Chat
Whether you're DMing, texting or chatting in your favorite video game, acronyms are the key to keeping these messages quick and concise. These are the acronyms you probably use or read on the daily.

ASAP - As Soon As Possible

BAE - Before Anyone Else

BOLO - Be On the LookOut

FISH - First In, Still Here

FOMO - Fear Of Missing Out

GIF - Graphics Interchange Format (but is it "jif" or "gif"?)

LOL - Laughing Out Loud (some people pronounce this as "lahl")

YOLO - You Only Live Once

Common Initialisms in Chat
There is a bit of debate about whether initialisms are acronyms or if acronyms and initialisms are both just types of abbreviations. An initialism is an abbreviation that uses the first letter of each word in the phrase it's describing (like an acronym), but you still say each letter of the initialism individually (unlike an acronym). For example, the Federal Bureau of Investigations is shortened to FBI, but you say it as "eff-bee-eye," not "fbi."

If you're on the team that considers initialisms as a type of acronym, these are some common initialism examples:

AFK - Away From Keyboard

BBL - Be Back Later

BBS - Be Back Soon

BEG - Big Evil Grin

BRB - Be Right Back

BTW - By The Way

EG - Evil Grin

IDK - I Don't Know

IMO - In My Opinion

IRL - In Real Life

LMK - Let Me Know

NOYB - None of Your Business

OMG - Oh My God

POS - Parents Over Shoulder

ROFL - Rolling On the Floor Laughing

SMH - Shaking My Head

TTYL - Talk To You Later

WTH - What The Heck (or Hell)

Common Acronyms in the Military and Government
Listening to conversations in a government or official settings can be a bit like hearing a new language for the first time. Get in-the-know with common acronyms used in government and military settings.

AWOL - Absent WithOut Leave

FUBAR - F***ed Up Beyond All Recognition

OSHA - Occupational Safety and Health Administration

NAFTA - North American Free Trade Agreement

NASA - National Aeronautics and Space Administration

Navy SEALs - Navy Sea Air Land forces

POTUS - President of the United States

SCOTUS - Supreme Court of the United States

SWAT - Special Weapons And Tactics

Common Initialisms in the Military and Government You won't often hear these initialisms spoken as new words, even if some appear to spell out a new word.

CIA - Central Intelligence Agency

CPS - Child Protective Services

CSI - Crime Scene Investigation

DMV - Division of Motor Vehicles

DNC - Democratic National Committee

DOD - Department of Defense

DON - Department of the Navy

DZ - Drop Zone

FBI - Federal Bureau of Investigation

GIB - GI Bill

MIA - Missing In Action

POW - Prisoner Of War

RNC - Republican National Committee

REAP - Reserve Education Assistance Program

UN - United Nations

USAF - United States Air Force

Common Informative Acronyms
Acronyms are a useful way to convey essential information quickly, but only if you know what they mean. Informative acronyms are commonly used in the medical field but have also crossed over from industries into daily life.

AIDS - Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome

DARE - Drug Abuse Resistance Education

PEMDAS - Parentheses, Exponent, Multiplication, Division, Addition, Subtraction (math order of operations)

RADAR - Radio Detection And Ranging

SONAR - Sound Navigation And Ranging

ZIP code - Zone Improvement Plan code

Common Informative Initialisms
These abbreviations help quickly describe useful groups, items and actions.

ABS - Anti-lock Braking System

ADD - Attention Deficit Disorder

ADHD - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

AMA - Against Medical Advice

CDC - Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

DOA - Dead On Arrival

DOB - Date Of Birth

DIY - Do It Yourself

ESL - English As A Second Language

FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions

HIV - Human Immunodeficiency Virus

IQ - Intelligence Quotient

MD - Medical Doctor

OTC - Over The Counter

PPV - Pay Per View

PS - Post Script

SUV - Sports Utility Vehicle

UFO - Unidentified Flying Object

Common Acronyms in Business
Acronyms are often used in the business world to identify a business or to create shorthand communication between co-workers.

CAPTCHA - Completely Automated Public Turing Test (to tell Computers and Humans Apart)

DAEMON - Disk And Execution Monitor

KISS - Keep It Simple, Stupid

NASDAQ - National Association of Securities Dealers Automated Quotations

SWOT - Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats

SMART Goals - Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Time-bound Goals

TED - Tell me, Explain to me, Describe to me

Common Initialisms in Business
Business people often speak in initialisms once they're comfortable with the industry lingo.

ADP - Automated Data Processing

AKA - Also Known As

CDT - Central Daylight Time

CST - Central Standard Time

DBA - Doing Business As

DND - Do Not Disturb

EDS - Electronic Data Systems

EOD - End of Day

EOW - End of Week

EDT - Eastern Daylight Time

EST - Eastern Standard Time

ETA - Estimated Time of Arrival

FYI - For Your Information

HR - Human Resources

MBA - Masters of Business Administration

MDT - Mountain Daylight Time

MST - Mountain Standard Time

POS - Point Of Service

PR - Public Relations

PDT - Pacific Daylight Time

PST - Pacific Standard Time

TBA - To Be Announced

TBD - To Be Determined

Common Acronyms as Identifiers
Some acronyms identify an organization or person by shortening a long name into a pronounced acronym. Explore these common identifiers for organizations and dating.

FLAG – Foreign Language Association of Georgia

MADD – Mothers Against Drunk Driving

PAWS – Progressive Animal Welfare Society

PETA - People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals

Common Initialisms and Identifiers
Although it's not unheard of for people to pronounce AARP as "arp" these days, these initialisms aren't true acronyms — yet.

AA – Alcoholics Anonymous

AARP – American Association of Retired Persons

ADA – American Dental Association

AFL – American Football League

AMA – American Medical Association

APA – American Psychological Association

ESPN – Entertainment and Sports Programming Network

LDR - Long Distance Relationship

MLA – Modern Language Association

MOTOS - Member Of The Opposite Sex

MOTSS - Member Of The Same Sex

NBA – National Basketball Association

NFL – National Football League

NHL – National Hockey League

PGA – Professional Golfer's Association

SPCA – Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals

SO - Significant Other

SWF – Single White Female

SWM – Single White Male

WWE – World Wrestling Entertainment

Funny Acronyms About Cars
Everyone has their favorite car, and everyone has that car they'd never own again. For the latter, consider these acronyms when convincing others to join your side.

BUICK - Big Ugly Import Car Killer
CHEVY - Can Hear Every Valve Yell (or Cannot Have Expensive Vehicle Yet) DODGE - Drains Or Drops Grease Everywhere (or Dead On Day Guarantee Expires) FORD - Fix Or Repair Daily (or Found On Road Dead) HOLDEN - Hope Our Luck Doesn't End Now
HONDA - Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
JEEP - Just Expect Every Problem
MAZDA - Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along (or My! Another Zany Detroit Assassin!) PORSCHE - Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything TOYOTA - Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
VOLVO - Very Odd-Looking Vehicular Object

Funny Acronyms About School
You may have learned your ABCs in school — but did you ever use them like this?

BOOK - Brainy Object Of Knowledge
CLASS - Come Late And Start Sleeping
DESK - Doubtful Effort School Keeps
MATH - Mental Abuse To Humans
PENCIL - Perfect Effort, Never Caring If Learning SCHOOL - Sucks Children's Happiness Out Of Life
STUDENT - Someone Told Us "Don't Ever Notice Teachers"

Funny Acronyms About People
Need a funny way to insult someone (or make a jab about yourself)? Try out:

BADD - Bikers Against Dumb Drivers
BOSS - Barking Orders So Snidely
DIET - Do I Eat Today?
FAIL - Forget About It, Loser
HATERS - Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success HUSBAND - Heartthrob Usefully Serving Bond And Never Deserting LOVE - Loss Of Valuable Energy
MAID - Mother Actually In Disguise
NAKED - No Attire; Keep Eyes Averted
STRESS - Stuff To Remember Every Single Second
WIFE - Worries Invited For Ever (or Wise Investment Flourishing Eternally)

Funny Acronyms About Places
Keep these silly acronyms in mind when planning your next worldwide adventure.

FOREST - Finding Outdoors Rather Eerie, Scary and Tiresome BEACH - Best Escape Anyone Can Have
PRAIRIE - Pretty Rural Area; It's Radiant, It's Empty HOME - House Of My Errands
WORK - Whiny, Overwhelming Recreation-Killer
OFFICE - On Fourteenth Floor Is Corporate Evil
PARK - Peaceful (Amid Rowdy Kids)
MALL - Money Accepted, Long Lines

Funny Medical Acronyms
Check out a few funny medical acronyms (and initialisms) that you may find scribbled on hospital notes.

ABITHAD - Another Blithering Idiot Thinks He's A Doctor COPS - Chronic Old Person's Disease
FABIAN - Felt Awful, But I'm All Right Now
GOMER - Get Out of My Emergency Room
HIBGIA - Had It Before, Got It Again
SALT - Same As Last Time
TEETH - Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy
TEON - Two Eyes One Nose
TMB - Too Many Birthdays
TTGA - Told To Go Away

Acronyms for ‘Acronym'
For a twist, here are some acronyms for the word acronym itself:

Alphabetical Code for Remembering Odd Names You Make up A Coded Rendition Of Names Yielding Meaning
A Contrived Reduction Of Nouns, Yielding Mnemonics Another Cryptic Rendition Of Nomenclature You Memorize A Clever Re-Organization Nudges Your Memory

Puns That Start With a Question
Perhaps the oldest joke formula of all time is where you pose a rhetorical question and the answer is a clever pun. Here are some great pun examples for kids.

How do turtles talk to each other? By using shell phones! Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed! What was the reporter doing at the ice cream shop? Getting the scoop! What do baseball players eat on? Home plates!
What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the courtroom? Odor in the court! Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny! What's purple and 5,000 miles long? The Grape Wall of China! What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight? Sir Render. Where does a boat go when it's not feeling well? To the dock. What did the rocket say to the astronaut? Have a blast! What kind of cake do ghosts like? Eye-scream cake! How do you compliment a gardener? Your veggies are a-maize-ing!

Puns About Animals
Funny animal puns always go over well with children. Short puns like these are particularly great for kiddos.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. A skunk fell in the river and stank to the bottom. The Energizer Bunny was arrested and charged with battery. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide. Why did the spider go to the computer? To check his web-site. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk. Where does a rat go with a toothache? A rodent-ist. What do you call a hard-working ant? A vigil-ant student. Why can't dogs get a driver's license? They can't parallel bark. Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken! Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon! What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer.
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear. What's a cow's favorite hymn? A-maize-ing Grace. What do butterflies sleep on? Cater-pillows.

Puns About Aquatic Critters
Fish, shellfish and other creatures that live in the sea area also great fodder for kid-friendly puns.

Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools. What would you call a crocodile who steals? A crook-odile. Where would a shrimp go to get a loan? The prawn shop. Who would loan money to a fish? A loan shark!
Where does a whale go to get its teeth straightened? An orca-dontist. Where does a fish keep its money? The river bank. Why is it so hard to find a pearl in an oyster? Because oysters are shellfish. Why do shrimp make good secret agents? If I told you, I'd have to krill you. Where'd you get those shells? I squid-napped them from the beach. Why did the kids go fishing with their friends? Pier pressure. Which fish is the biggest influencer? The star fish, of course. What kind of whale is the saddest? A blue whale.

Nature Puns
Puns about the joys of nature can be easy for kids to understand. Not only are these puns entertaining, but they can also help get kids interested in learning about nature.

What did one wetland say to the other? Show me your mussels! We're going to the beach for the holidays. It'll be a family shell-ebration. Don't take hiking for granite.
Do you like backpacking? Yes, it's in-tents!
Is the forest beautiful? It's unbe-leaf-able.
How would you describe rock climbing? Climb and punishment. What did the tree wear to the pool? Swimming trunks. How do you know the sun will be back tomorrow? It'll dawn on you. Why is the beach wet? Because the sea weed.
What kind of waves will you see on a tiny beach? Micro-waves. How does the ocean say farewell? It waves.

Kid-Friendly Food Puns
Some of the funniest puns out there are about things to eat. Kids are sure to find these funny food puns hilarious.

What's grandma's favorite fruit? Elder-berry.
How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste. When does a banana need to see a doctor? When it is peeling poorly. What should you say at a salad bar restaurant? Lettuce eat! What would a cat order in a Mexican restaurant? A purr-rito. Can I have some of that cheese? No, that is nacho cheese. Where does ground beef go to party? A meat-ball. What soup do Santa's helpers love the most? Elf-abet soup! What did baby corn ask mommy corn? Where's my pop corn? What fruit do twins like best? Pears!
What does bread say when it gets too warm? It sure is toast-y in here! This spaghetti squash is an impasta!

Good Puns for School
Kids are familiar with all things school-related. They're likely to find puns about what they're familiar with to be hilarious punny jokes.

Of course I ate my homework! The teacher said it's a piece of cake. The Easter play is a great eggs-tra curricular activity. The school festival is canceled? That's no fair! Ready for back to school? It's fall in a day's work. What's wrong with your math book? It has too many problems. Who is the boss of the classroom? The ruler.
Why did the kid climb the tree to study? To get a higher education. The marine biology seminar is for educational porpoises. Don't be afraid of using a computer. It won't byte! What are you studying in math? Everything under the sum. Where did the ice cream man go to school? Sundae school.

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