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offramp
Member since Aug-16-03 · Last seen Sep-17-25
For all chess-players, dispersed all over the globe.
Greetings!
Welcome to everyone in the universe!

And now - a poem...
This tremendous poem was set to music by Jacques Brel.

<In some secluded rendezvous
That overlooks the avenue
With someone sharing a delightful chat
Of this and that
And cocktails for two
As we enjoy a cigarette
To some exquisite chansonette
Two hands are sure to slyly meet beneath a serviette
With cocktails for two.>

>> Click here to see offramp's game collections.

Chessgames.com Full Member
   Current net-worth: 1,436 chessbucks
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   offramp has kibitzed 24577 times to chessgames   [more...]
   Sep-17-25 C Hertan vs J Curdo, 1987
 
offramp: Bloodcurdo umassacre.
 
   Sep-17-25 J Hawkins vs D Gormally, 2008
 
offramp: Movebound of the Hawkinsvilles.
 
   Sep-16-25 offramp chessforum
 
offramp: If you've seen a carthorse at a country fair then you've probably wondered, "Why are their eyes so close together?" I can check carthorses' vision by standing directly behind them and I hold up vision charts. If they get the letter right, they kick out.
 
   Sep-15-25 T E Olisa vs Jobava, 2025
 
offramp: The game ends at move 17, but the repetitions start at move 13. W: Tennyson Ewomazino Olisa , Nigeria, aged 22, 2287. Baadass Baadur Jobava , Georgian (not THE Georgia), aged 41, 2590. The game ended in a couple of minutes. "<17. Nd2 [%clk 1:47:50] 17... Nd7 [%clk 1:46:52] ...
 
   Sep-15-25 Najdorf vs H Ree, 1971
 
offramp: < Stonehenge: <44...Kg8 that appears in the <BCM>.> Also here: http://resolver.kb.nl/resolve?urn=d... For a few years I've been wondering about the <kinderpuzzel>. I am guessing... (A) Digging a grave for the wrong man. (B) Ball over the sand-castles.
 
   Sep-15-25 FIDE Grand Swiss (2025) (replies)
 
offramp: I think I was posting at the same time.... User: Retireborn , you are right - I have received a ๐Ÿฆโ€๐Ÿ”ฅโƒคโƒŸโƒROYAL๐Ÿฆ… KiCK ๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿฆถ๐Ÿ‘Š up the ( โ€ฟ ไบบ โ€ฟ ).
 
   Sep-15-25 Giri vs Niemann, 2025 (replies)
 
offramp: At the time, I thought that HMN might have tried to make a last ditch attempt to win the title outright.
 
   Sep-14-25 M Rodshtein vs Vachier-Lagrave, 2025 (replies)
 
offramp: This is a "stone-cold" classic. Both players are well over 2600. <"A game that exhibits inventiveness and creativity. Such a game will be kept in a permanent retrieval system; a copy kept in the Smithsonian Museum; a copy kept in the Hohellenzern Salt Mine in Austria.> ...
 
   Sep-13-25 G F Wellman vs W Hodges, 1851
 
offramp: Mr William Hodges played the opening in the Botvinnik-style. He did not waste a move. He increased his advantage almost every move. Did you see that LSB, the ♗ from f1? It went to c4: 2. Bc4. That is a normal move in the course of history. [DIAGRAM] The bishop went to a2. ...
 
   Sep-13-25 N Maisuradze vs A Fier, 2017
 
offramp: A Bird's Opening (A02) from Australia is a <From From Down Under>...but you can't end a sentence in a preposition.
 
(replies) indicates a reply to the comment.

Ye Olde Offrampe Predicktions

Kibitzer's Corner
< Earlier Kibitzing  · PAGE 78 OF 81 ·  Later Kibitzing>
May-19-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I saw the <trailer> for <SNOW WHITE> (2025).

Straight off the bean I <HATE> AI. AI is really really cheap.
I have spotted that 90% of adverts on telly are all AI.
It is so <CHEAP>.

I am not joking when I say that AI adverts make me feel a <A BIT SICK>.

The trailers are terrible. A total disaster.

There is, to begin with, the name <Snow White>.

In the original story she was (spookily) white. I mean the original Grimm story.

Here is my biggest kvetch:
<<AI> is the cheapest way of making film. It is even cheaper than bloody CGI!!
SO HOW DOES A DISNEY FILM COST $300,000,000??>
>

May-22-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I am fed up with characters with eyepatches in films.

I am watching <STREET FIGHTER> (1994), and the one-eyed guy turns up right at the start.

May-22-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Any Americans here?

I know that there are supermarkets on both sides of the Atlantic, but <HERE>, in Europe, we bag up our own shopping. We've all always done that.

In the USA, are things changing? I suppose most places in the USA (like here) are installing self-checkouts.

May-22-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: <offramp> When I lived in California (bring your own bag to store), customers bag their own purchase. However, this only applies to grocery stores, not Target, Wal-mart, Best Buy, etc...

In Nevada, where I live now; the cashier or a helper will bag for you. And I reuse the free plastic bags as trash bags.

Self-checks are available, sometimes when store is under staffed, only self-checkouts are open. (Usually 6 stations per store)

A lot of stores are removing these self-service kiosks, because of theft and under scanning.

May-22-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: <WannaBe>, it's great to hear from you. What you posted is strange to hear how different things are different form Europe to USA.

Plastic bag use plummeted in the UK. People use use reusable bags.

In movies it boggles my mind that <everyone> bringing their shopping from their car to their house use flimsy paper bags that gave no handles - in movies the bags <always> fall to the floor and a human of the opposite sex gives assistance.

May-22-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: The following noises are worrying.

Squashing and crunching

Screams

Rockfalls

Howitzers

That is all.

May-23-25  stone free or die: Splat!

Meanwhile, elsewhere on <CG>:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=982...

May-23-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Today, the second day of the first Test, England v Zimbabwe at Nottingham.

My old friend Abigail Gwelo died two years ago, and she was aged 51, I think. She was Zimbabwean.

Her birthday was 21st May, so I thought about her when this Test started.

In Irish families death is treated very flippantly: if someone has died, then forget about it. When Abigail died I tried to forget her.

A human's life is like a huge Polish sausage eaten in different places, and trying to re-assemble that sausage.

May-23-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: <stone free or die: Splat! Meanwhile, elsewhere on <CG>:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=982...>

What a strange song! I really liked it, but why didn't he end the song? A <fade out> is always a bit lazy.

May-23-25  stone free or die: Must have been something else going on under the table:

https://en.chessbase.com/portals/al...

May-23-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: https://en.chessbase.com/portals/al...

Both players speak simultaneously:

<"You are unbelievably stupid!">

May-26-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp:
<The guest judge is <<Narendra Damodardas Modi> โ๐—œ ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ฎโž>, Prime Minister of India ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿค๐Ÿ’š.>

He is <indisposed> ATM, cos he got an assassination attempt the poor git, but he will judge the Compo from his deathbed.

May-26-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: The neighbours say that I am drinking too much.

Actually, not the <next> neighbours, the ones after the ones after.

May-27-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp:
<The guest judge is <Narendra Damodardas Modi> โ๐—œ ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ฎโž, Prime Minister of India ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿค๐Ÿ’š.>

He is on his death bed.

<OhioChessFan:

Ferocious Ali: "Remember that game you lost against Akobian? Guess what, you have no scoresheet, you didn't record your moves, you lose!"
Wesley: "I'll kill you.">

<The guest judge is <<Narendra Damodardas Modi> โ๐—œ ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ฎโž>, Prime Minister of India ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿค๐Ÿ’š> says:

"I remember that game against Akobian LOL Wesley was defaulted LOL. I'll give that 76/100.

<Retireborn:

" ...And then offramp wanted to know why Caruana has a Jew fro.">

<The guest judge is <<Narendra Damodardas Modi> โ๐—œ ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ฎโž>, Prime Minister of India ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿค๐Ÿ’š> says:

"In India we do not allow jewfros, but I have seen <BARTON FINK> fifteen times. I love that scene where Barton gets kicked in his testickalls.
I award this 81/100."

<OhioChessFan:

"THAT'S the name of the tournament? I was hoping for a year's supply of Superbeets!">

<The guest judge is <<Narendra Damodardas Modi> โ๐—œ ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ฎโž>, Prime Minister of India ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿค๐Ÿ’š> says:

"Very amusing and enlightening. I award this 85/100.

<WannaBe:

"Are your islands interested in becoming 51st or 52nd state? I know someone you can get in touch with".>

<The guest judge is <<Narendra Damodardas Modi> โ๐—œ ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ฎโž>, Prime Minister of India ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿค๐Ÿ’š> says:

"Have you met Duncan Trump? The president? He is a funny guy. You're all right! 72/100."

<offramp:

"Any Americans here?">

<The guest judge is <<Narendra Damodardas Modi> โ๐—œ ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ฎโž>, Prime Minister of India ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿค๐Ÿ’š> says:

"Not the best offering. I'll give it 55/100."

<stone free or die:

"Splat!">

<The guest judge is <<Narendra Damodardas Modi> โ๐—œ ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ฎโž>, Prime Minister of India ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿค๐Ÿ’š> says:

"Splat! I like its temerity. I award it 71/100."

<stone free or die:

"Must have been something else going on under the table!">

<The guest judge is <<Narendra Damodardas Modi> โ๐—œ ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ฎโž>, Prime Minister of India ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿค๐Ÿ’š> says:

"How many of these do you have? I'll award this 90/100."

<THAT'S IT.>

<The guest judge is <<Narendra Damodardas Modi> โ๐—œ ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ฎโž>, Prime Minister of India ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿค๐Ÿ’š> says:

"Therefore I name <stone free or die> as the winner. He can now send me the single step to my address in Kolkata.
Best wishes to all! Niemaster!!"

<WELL DONE TO ALL OF YOU!>

I intend to have another caption competition in a week.

May-27-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: https://en.chessbase.com/portals/al...

"A smiling Humpy Koneru leaves the playing hall and is met by fans | Photo: Michal Walusza".

May-27-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: User: stone free or die was the winner. Yay!

He has won a single wheelchair-enabled step.

It's on its way!!

May-28-25  stone free or die:

< Honored members of Off The Ramp Society, distinguished guests,
ladies and gentlemen: What is there
for me to say? Everything wise and
witty has long since been said - by
minds more mature and talents far
greater than mine. For me to thank
you as equals would be presumptuous
- I am an apprentice in the Theater
and have much to learn from you
all. I can say only that I am proud
and happy and that I regard this
great honor not so much as an award
for what I have achieved, but as a
standard to hold against what I
have yet to accomplish.

>

May-28-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Here is one old piece of advice.

I would come home after a night drinking, and I'd be STARVING. The obvious thing is to start DEEP FAT FRYING at 1am.

Another idea was to start slicing onions, while you have forgotten why you wanted to slice some onions.

Both of those are <BAD IDEAS>.

May-28-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  Dionysius1: That's a really pretty piece of Wallace Stevens you quote in your profile.

It looks good on the page, and it sounds good out loud.

I thought I understood the first line. But since I don't get the rest of it, maybe I don't understand THAT much.

It reminds me of "Wovon Mann nicht sprechen kann, daruber muss Mann schweigen" (Wittgenstein). I go through periods of thinking that's really deep, and then I don't get the point of saying it at all (no irony intended).

Now "If a lion could speak we could not understand him" . That appeals to me, and it's later Wittgenstein, when he'd pretty much renounced the Tractatus.

I hadn't thought of Wittgenstein as a poet before, but maybe...

Thanks for the space to ramble.

May-29-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I have never said a <rosary>. But I do <own> a rosary. It is incredibly tedious. It is a task only for widows.

If you are intending to say the rosary you will immediately meet a DEAD END. Do you know the er <Apostles' Creed> Weren't they in Rocky III?

The best idea is to substitute the words to <One Nation Under A Groove> by Funkapolitan.

Then, it's an <Our Father> followed by <<TEN> Hail Marys>. Phew!...Then you do 4 more of those (1xOF + 10xHMs).

That's a spicy meatball!

May-29-25  stone free or die: <It is a task only for widows.>

It's said Pope Francais said a rosary everyday. That's two saids in one!

<<The Popes and the Rosary>

This May [2020], during the month dedicated to the Blessed Virgin Mary, Pope Francis has invited the faithful to renew their love for the Most Holy Rosary, a prayer fully immersed in the Gospel.>

https://www.vaticannews.va/en/pope/...

May-30-25  thegoodanarchist: <offramp: I am fed up with characters with eyepatches in films.>

Then don't watch <Breakfast at Tiffany's>

Actually, <do> watch it. I enjoyed the film quite a lot. And there is just one eye patch scene, iirc.

May-30-25  thegoodanarchist: <offramp: I have never said a <rosary>. But I do <own> a rosary. It is incredibly tedious. It is a task only for widows.>

No sir! It is a great means of salvation.

Multiple Popes have warned us of the danger of Freemasonry. Please, sir, repent and be baptized into the Holy Catholic Church.

May-30-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: <Ipsum cerebrum meum ad tectorium sellotapaverunt.>
May-31-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: <thegoodanarchist: <offramp: I am fed up with characters with eyepatches in films.> Then don't watch <Breakfast at Tiffany's>

Actually, <do> watch it. I enjoyed the film quite a lot. And there is just one eye patch scene, iirc.>

I have never watched <BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S>.

I <have> seen the brilliant scenes with Mickey Rooney as the japanese-type. They are really funny.

The book is by Truman Capote. Groucho Marx said, in an interview, that Capote was a big fruit. I don't know what that means.

I'll have a look at YouTube to watch out for the eye-patch scenes.

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