"The note was signed by Fr Thames
Stole money from the poor-o
And spent it on a hoor-o
Let's pray he got good value
Selling England by the Euro ..."

Oh gawd, it'll be blody Aqualung next. Or Think as a Brick ... by Jethro 'Agricultural Prog' Tull.

Well, yes. Gladly the cross-eyed bear.

Comely Cross
And its comely maidens
It don't lead nowhere
And it's got no gay dens

You know when websites take a wild crazy guess at the sort of other products you might buy, based on sites visited? I just checked out a play on Amazon -- The Lieutenant of Inishmore, by Martin McDonagh. Because Jess and I had been talking about his film, In Bruges.

Synopsis of play: Mad Padraic, a 'freedom fighter' rejected by the IRA for being a psycho, returns home to his native island to check on the welfare of his cat, Wee Thomas. He has heard that Wee Thomas is poorly and is already deranged with anxiety. WT has in fact been run over by a bicycle and is stiff as a board.

Padraic's father and others desperately try to hide the truth, while an IRA hit team arrives, and Mad Padraic goes berserko. Torture, mayhem, blood, gore, and terror groupies who shoot cows for practice.

Right. So what did these cyber-simpletons try to sell me? Realistic-looking British army uniforms, is what, from squaddies.com.

You know I'm a great admirer of <Guy Ritchie> and <Lock stock> in particular--

but I find <Martin McDonagh>'s work on <In Bruges> to be eminently superior.

He is a wizard-- the fabulist elements in <Lock Stock> give the film a comic book-like feel that negates, finally, the "realism" of the ultra-violence and "cool accents."

<In Bruges>'s narrative arc depends, arguably, on just as many unlikely (unrealistic) plot coincidences as does the <Ritchie> vehicle.

However, <Bruges> is both funnier and "feels" more realistic on an emotional level. The screenplay is characterized by narrative beauty- it satisfies with a humanistic/tragic catharsis-- it crackles with unforced wit-- and, most of all, it engages in the development of "round" characters,

All of the three protagonists show "growth" or "change" of some sort during the course of the narrative. All rise above the "flat stereotype".

In <Lock Stock>, for all its delerious virtuosity, all of the characters remain flat throughout.

<Amazon,travesty>

I"d say "unbelievable" but it's all too believable, unfortunately.

Reminds me of a more innocent observation of a similar phenomenon in more innocent times.

In his paralytically funny autobiography <My Life and Hard Times>, James Thurber reports on his failure to transcend his "American tourist" identity while on vacation in the tropics.

Here is how he characterizes, with his unparalleled seriocomic brevity, the result of his effor to "blend in":

<They tried to sell me baskets>.

Oh, the humanity,,,

Are we in such a forlorn state that we regard the <Hindenberg> with some considerable measure of nostalgia?

Finally, I've been mentioning some Australian literature to <Doggimus>.

Question: why are Irish/Australian writers so bloody good?

Why are there so many of them from countries with a very small population?

My "theory" is this:

Irish/Austrlian writers are great because of a deep distrust of Pommies,

Ok it's not much of a theory.

I'd like to run it by <Shane McGowan>, but I'm not sure he's sentient these days.

Must be why they surrounded him with midgets on In Bruges. If you choose not to watch this film just because of the Farrell presence you'll be making a horrible mistake.

Try thinking of him as a Padanian cross-dresser, or a butch nun with a Dublin accent, or anyone at all doing an impersonation of what CF would be like if he picked his scripts more craftily.

Unlike Tarantino and Guy Ritchie, he's not embedded in received ideas of genre - whether they try to subvert the rules or not, they still can't see beyond 'em. McDonagh seems to be able to ignore genre while stealing anything that suits his purpose. The kwak.

Which means they can reach the level of, say, Shakespeare, but no higher. Tragic.

Of course my favorite writer is Pynchon, rumored to be American (b. Glen Cove, Long Island, 8th May 1937).

yES I love <Canned Lit> as well.

<Margaret Lawrence> is my favorite actually. She's kinda like <Faulkner>.

I like <Lennie> a lot too. <Beautiful Losers>.

What a great title.

Why don't they give the <No Balls Prize> for literature to a Canadian?

They gave one to writers from every one of the other Commonwealth Countries, except for the really small ones with no white people in them.

Hey! That's not fair either.

Do you think it's a conspiracy?

Oh also Stephen LeaCOCK is very good.

Bloody marvellous!!

You got in your <dice>, <error of human without computer human>, and <football> all in.

Very humorous and informative-- It's certainly making me want to buy the book.

I believe I shall order it from my bookstore, along with the <JH Donner> book if I ever get in to Town again.

"Oh the Sisters of <rkej0w93r09

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They aren't very easy to join.
Once you've filled in the forms
You'll be weary
In limb and in loin

You'll give all you have
Right down to the very last coin
But you won't write the Name
No matter how exquisite the taste
And it's still 1967
They don't know about cut'n'paste
You'd like to reach heaven
But this is just too much to waste.

[violin solo]

And the women put their blouses on
This Sisters thing was just a con
It's time for you to be moving on
It's closing time.

[mandolin solo]

But she reaches out to touch you
And she chides you, almost gently,
saying "Hey, that's no way to say <rkej0w93r09

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And you begin again.
Like Len. Like Zen.

None of this renders Mr Mack even slightly unpopular with any of the cogno, cogknosc, connosenty ... with any of them what knows.

I even have another reason: it's got boring. They're all playing either the Exchange (3.exd5) or the Advance (3.e5). I can still win in either case, but it's much more tedious than a game with 3.Nc3 or 3.Nd2.

- I just got back from 'Nam.

- Oh. VIET-nam?

"Plagiarism is having your towel nicked by some son-of-a-beach in Cannes." - Montesquieu de la Plage