<Dom&Gerry> who did what? ;)

<Jess: <<Dom> I hate to break it to you, but in order to maintain your (well earned) status as "The Great Communicator" at this website, you're going to have to learn "LOLspeak.">>

Too right! :)

I am familiar with all dialects, idiolects, duolects and variants of the English langwidge, and will use them as necessary.

As for illegality, this is one of those corrupt jurisdictions where those who make the laws can break them with impunity.

What's this 'Great Communicator' thing? Is somebody confusing me with Ronald Reagan? Admittedly, there's the same blurring of fact and fiction, but there are at least three differences between us, viz...

1. He dyed his hair.

2. He thought he was Irish.

So I did a search on the phrase 'spiral into the sun' -- and found that I had indeed made this warning many times, repeating it ad nauseam like some bleedin' Jeremiah.

However, the earliest such warning was made in 2006, not exactly by me, but by somebody named <Offield>. Who was the guy I was before I traded myself in.

<Offield: If everyone really did laugh out loud as frequently as they type 'LOL' then chaos theory predicts that the Earth's orbit would judder and we'd all spiral into the sun. Still LOLling, presumably.>

<mack> responded to this: musta been the first of our many 'hilarious' exchanges.

Ah, all that youthful wit and arcane learning. Back before the *Erudition Warrant*, before I was wanted by Interflora in six countries.

Je suis une femme de l'Anggleterrrre.

C'est bon nouvelles bien sur, mon petite chou. Il y a deux courses pour les chommages: mort, ou "ooh la la."

Felicitations!

Le Herring Rouge- c'est les gustibles officielle de Norge, non?

<Annie> has given you the entire picture in possibly the most concise paragraph ever written.

Please follow her instructions to the letter and familiarize yourself with the web-link.

If you don't do this, your writing will become incomprehensible to 50% of humans, and 100% of Netizens, within three years.

You need to do this, if only to have the wherewithal to avoid <furries> and <weeabos>.

Also, you may want to come up with a pithy, and 4-character long response, to the so very notorious

"TLDR"

These are harrowing times <Dom>- "pulling an Ostrich" is no longer an option.

This, despite the current popularity of recreational Ostrich pulling among South African middle school students.

TLDR
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Tldr

furries
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/FU...

To put it in Irish terms.

<Annie> gave you the link to Heaven- here's the link to Hell:

http://boards.4chan.org/b/

Abandon all hope etc. etc. but it's from this one message board- the most "populated" English language message board in the world- that virtually all of the newspeak originated.

As a recluse, however, I rarely encounter this fabled 'company', so I'm not really in Ireland. Might as well be in Alberta. Or Butt Springs, Idaho.

"Why this is Hell, nor am I out of it."

Viz, you can look at one page of the happy LOLcats and get the gist-

Or you can look at one page of the deliriously amoral /b/ and get the gist.

You have both of the links- and you can test my theory by looking at *two* pages of each site.

Be careful though on /b/.

One of the memes is to post an image that is so truly grotesque, so deeply offensive, that it becomes burned in your brain forever and destroys your soul.

The most infamous one is the <ghotse>, which I've seen- it's meant to function as a modern Medusa.

Be careful of googling that name, as the image is likely to "pop up."

It's hard to look at for sure, but I don't think it destroyed my soul.

It conjures up an image, though. Two demons -- the warty, scaly, hideous kind you sometimes saw in Buffy and its spinoffs -- are toiling in Hades. Souls come tumbling out of a chute. The demons scoop 'em up and shovel 'em into a furnace, where they're melted down to make nail varnish for Lucifer. Even Hell has a black economy.

Can't say I learned anything new, but maybe I'm just impervious. That's imperious with a 'v'. Take five.

One fing amuses me, however. *IRL* ... a whole 'country' masquerading as 'real life' ... and I happen to live in it.

Tsk, tsk. :p OK, admittedly this wasn't the best week for new LOLz (the pic&captions shown on the first pages), but there are a lot of very amusing LOLz among the classics way back somewhere. You could try browsing my favorites collection: http://cheezburger.com/pictures-by-... ;)

Happy returns young pal.

Small warning here. No need to, uh, change your flight plans or anything. Fly by all means. But take precautions if you were planning to watch one of those live chess webcasts from Sofia.

Chess is a dangerous drug. Never mind playing: even *watching* may be addictive. It messes with your brain chemistry. The graph of exposure time against intensity of craving has a damn nearly infinite slope. Which means a deep and enduring addiction that few chemicals even begin to emulate.

We have video footage of chess-addicted rats undergoing cold turkey, gasping and horripilating. The lucky ones die. If chess was a rat poison, it'd be illegal.