Relish & Mustard

101 Best Riddles

Riddle Question: What has to be broken before you can use it?

Riddle Answer: An egg

Riddle Question: I'm tall when I'm young, and I'm short when I'm old. What am I?

Riddle Answer: A candle

Riddle Question: What month of the year has 28 days?

Riddle Answer: All of them

Riddle Question: What is full of holes but still holds water?

Riddle Answer: A sponge

Riddle Question: What question can you never answer yes to?

Riddle Answer: Are you asleep yet?

Riddle Question: What is always in front of you but can't be seen?

Riddle Answer: The future

Riddle Question: There's a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?

Riddle Answer: There aren't any—it's a one-story house.

Riddle Question. What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?

Riddle Answer: A promise

Riddle Question: What goes up but never comes down?

Riddle Answer: Your age

Riddle Question: A man who was outside in the rain without an umbrella or hat didn't get a single hair on his head wet. Why?

Riddle Answer: He was bald.

Riddle Question: What gets wet while drying?

Riddle Answer: A towel

Riddle Question: What can you keep after giving to someone?

Riddle Answer: Your word

13. Riddle: I shave every day, but my beard stays the same. What am I? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A barber

14. Riddle: You see a boat filled with people, yet there isn't a single person on board. How is that possible? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: All the people on the boat are married.

15. Riddle: You walk into a room that contains a match, a kerosene lamp, a candle and a fireplace. What would you light first? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: The match

16. Riddle: A man dies of old age on his 25 birthday. How is this possible? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: He was born on February 29.

17. Riddle: I have branches, but no fruit, trunk or leaves. What am I? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A bank

18. Riddle: What can't talk but will reply when spoken to? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: An echo

19. Riddle: The more of this there is, the less you see. What is it? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Darkness

Riddles for Kids
20. Riddle: David's parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the name of the third son? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: David

21. Riddle: I follow you all the time and copy your every move, but you can't touch me or catch me. What am I? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Your shadow

22. Riddle: What has many keys but can't open a single lock? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A piano

23. Riddle: What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Your right elbow

24. Riddle: What is black when it's clean and white when it's dirty? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A chalkboard

25. Riddle: What gets bigger when more is taken away? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A hole

26. Riddle: I'm light as a feather, yet the strongest person can't hold me for five minutes. What am I? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Your breath

27. Riddle: I'm found in socks, scarves and mittens; and often in the paws of playful kittens. What am I? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Yarn

28. Riddle: Where does today come before yesterday? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: The dictionary

29. Riddle: What invention lets you look right through a wall? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A window

30. Riddle: If you've got me, you want to share me; if you share me, you haven't kept me. What am I? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A secret

31. Riddle: What can't be put in a saucepan?
Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: It's lid

32. Riddle: What goes up and down but doesn't move? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A staircase

33. Riddle: If you're running in a race and you pass the person in second place, what place are you in? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Second place

34. Riddle: It belongs to you, but other people use it more than you do. What is it? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Your name

Funny Riddles
35. Riddle: What has lots of eyes, but can't see? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A potato

36. Riddle: What has one eye, but can't see?
Riddle Answer: A needle

37. Riddle: What has many needles, but doesn't sew? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A Christmas tree

38. Riddle: What has hands, but can't clap?
Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A clock

39. Riddle: What has legs, but doesn't walk?
Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A table

40. Riddle: What has one head, one foot and four legs? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A bed

41. Riddle: What can you catch, but not throw?
Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A cold

42. Riddle: What kind of band never plays music? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A rubber band

43. Riddle: What has many teeth, but can't bite? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A comb

44. Riddle: What is cut on a table, but is never eaten? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A deck of cards

45. Riddle: What has words, but never speaks?
Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A book

46. Riddle: What runs all around a backyard, yet never moves? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A fence

47. Riddle: What can travel all around the world without leaving its corner? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A stamp

48. Riddle: What has a thumb and four fingers, but is not a hand? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A glove

49. Riddle: What has a head and a tail but no body? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A coin

50. Riddle: Where does one wall meet the other wall? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: On the corner

51. Riddle: What building has the most stories?
Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: The library

52. Riddle: What tastes better than it smells?
Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Your tongue

53. Riddle: What has 13 hearts, but no other organs? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A deck of cards

54. Riddle: It stalks the countryside with ears that can't hear. What is it? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Corn

55. Riddle: What kind of coat is best put on wet? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A coat of paint

56. Riddle: What has a bottom at the top?
Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Your legs

57. Riddle: What has four wheels and flies?
Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A garbage truck

Math Riddles
58. Riddle: I am an odd number. Take away a letter and I become even. What number am I? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Seven

59. Riddle: If two's company, and three's a crowd, what are four and five? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Nine

60. Riddle: What three numbers, none of which is zero, give the same result whether they're added or multiplied? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: One, two and three

61. Riddle: Mary has four daughters, and each of her daughters has a brother. How many children does Mary have? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Five—each daughter has the same brother.

62. Riddle: Which is heavier: a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Neither—they both weigh a ton.

63. Riddle: Three doctors said that Bill was their brother. Bill says he has no brothers. How many brothers does Bill actually have? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: None. He has three sisters.

64. Riddle: Two fathers and two sons are in a car, yet there are only three people in the car. How? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: They are a grandfather, father and son.

65. Riddle: The day before yesterday I was 21, and next year I will be 24. When is my birthday? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: December 31; today is January 1.

66. Riddle: A little girl goes to the store and buys one dozen eggs. As she is going home, all but three break. How many eggs are left unbroken? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Three

67. Riddle: A man describes his daughters, saying, "They are all blonde, but two; all brunette but two; and all redheaded but two." How many daughters does he have? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Three: A blonde, a brunette and a redhead

68. Riddle: If there are three apples and you take away two, how many apples do you have? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: You have two apples.

69. Riddle: A girl has as many brothers as sisters, but each brother has only half as many brothers as sisters. How many brothers and sisters are there in the family? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Four sisters and three brothers

Related: 101 Fun Facts

Word Riddles
70. Riddle: What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Short

71. Riddle: What begins with an "e" and only contains one letter? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: An envelope

72. Riddle: A word I know, six letters it contains, remove one letter and 12 remains. What is it? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Dozens

73. Riddle: What would you find in the middle of Toronto? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: The letter "o"

74. Riddle: You see me once in June, twice in November and not at all in May. What am I? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: The letter "e"

75. Riddle: Two in a corner, one in a room, zero in a house, but one in a shelter. What is it? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: The letter "r"

Related: Would You Rather Questions

76. Riddle: I am the beginning of everything, the end of everywhere. I'm the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space. What am I? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Also the letter "e"

77. Riddle: What 4-letter word can be written forward, backward or upside down, and can still be read from left to right? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: NOON

78. Riddle: Forward I am heavy, but backward I am not. What am I? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: The word "not"

79. Riddle: What is 3/7 chicken, 2/3 cat and 2/4 goat? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Chicago

80. Riddle: I am a word of letters three; add two and fewer there will be. What word am I? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Few

81. Riddle: What word of five letters has one left when two are removed? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Stone

82. Riddle: What is the end of everything?
Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: The letter "g"

83. Riddle: What word is pronounced the same if you take away four of its five letters? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Queue

84. Riddle: I am a word that begins with the letter "i." If you add the letter "a" to me, I become a new word with a different meaning, but that sounds exactly the same. What word am I? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Isle (add "a" to make "aisle")

85. Riddle: What word in the English language does the following: The first two letters signify a male, the first three letters signify a female, the first four letters signify a great, while the entire world signifies a great woman. What is the word? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Heroine

Related: 101 Funny Puns

Really Hard Riddles for Adults
86. Riddle: What is so fragile that saying its name breaks it? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Silence.

87. Riddle: What can run but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a head but never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A river

88. Riddle: Speaking of rivers, a man calls his dog from the opposite side of the river. The dog crosses the river without getting wet, and without using a bridge or boat. How? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: The river was frozen.

89. Riddle: What can fill a room but takes up no space? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Light

90. Riddle: If you drop me I'm sure to crack, but give me a smile and I'll always smile back. What am I? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A mirror

91. Riddle: The more you take, the more you leave behind. What are they? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Footsteps

92. Riddle: I turn once, what is out will not get in. I turn again, what is in will not get out. What am I? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A key

93. Riddle: People make me, save me, change me, raise me. What am I? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Money

94. Riddle: What breaks yet never falls, and what falls yet never breaks? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Day, and night

95. Riddle: What goes through cities and fields, but never moves? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A road

96. Riddle: I am always hungry and will die if not fed, but whatever I touch will soon turn red. What am I? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Fire

97. Riddle: The person who makes it has no need of it; the person who buys it has no use for it. The person who uses it can neither see nor feel it. What is it? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A coffin

98. Riddle: A man looks at a painting in a museum and says, "Brothers and sisters I have none, but that man's father is my father's son." Who is in the painting? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: The man's son

99. Riddle: With pointed fangs I sit and wait; with piercing force I crunch out fate; grabbing victims, proclaiming might; physically joining with a single bite. What am I? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A stapler

100. Riddle: I have lakes with no water, mountains with no stone and cities with no buildings. What am I? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: A map

101. Riddle: What does man love more than life, hate more than death or mortal strife; that which contented men desire; the poor have, the rich require; the miser spends, the spendthrift saves, and all men carry to their graves? Scroll down for Riddle Answer...

Riddle Answer: Nothing

I entered ten puns in our contest to see which would win. No pun in ten did.

"Above the clouds I lift my wing
To hear the bells of Heaven ring;
Some of their music, though my fights be wild,
To Earth I bring;
Then let me soar and sing!" ― Edmund Clarence Stedman

Feb-13-11 keypusher: <scutigera: They give this as one of Myagmarsuren's notable games with 162 others in the database?> notable games are selected based on how many games collections they are in.

Dec-12-16 DrGridlock: Q: When is a pin not a pin? A: When the piece is:
(i) not pinned to the king
and
(ii) in moving the piece threatens either mate or greater material gain than what it was pinned to. (iii) in moving the piece now defends the unit it was pinned to, such as Nf3xd4 and protects the Be2 that was behind the knight.

The Deserted Village
BY OLIVER GOLDSMITH (1730-1774)

Sweet Auburn, loveliest village of the plain,
Where health and plenty cheared the labouring swain, Where smiling spring its earliest visit paid,
And parting summer's lingering blooms delayed,
Dear lovely bowers of innocence and ease,
Seats of my youth, when every sport could please, How often have I loitered o'er thy green,
Where humble happiness endeared each scene!
How often have I paused on every charm,
The sheltered cot, the cultivated farm,
The never-failing brook, the busy mill,
The decent church that topt the neighbouring hill, The hawthorn bush, with seats beneath the shade, For talking age and whispering lovers made!
How often have I blest the coming day,
When toil remitting lent its turn to play,
And all the village train, from labour free,
Led up their sports beneath the spreading tree,
While many a pastime circled in the shade,
The young contending as the old surveyed;
And many a gambol frolicked o'er the ground,
And slights of art and feats of strength went round; And still as each repeated pleasure tired,
Succeeding sports the mirthful band inspired;
The dancing pair that simply sought renown
By holding out to tire each other down;
The swain mistrustless of his smutted face,
While secret laughter tittered round the place;
The bashful virgin's side-long looks of love,
The matron's glance that would those looks reprove! These were thy charms, sweet village; sports like these, With sweet succession, taught even toil to please; These round thy bowers their chearful influence shed, These were thy charms—But all these charms are fled. Sweet smiling village, loveliest of the lawn,
Thy sports are fled, and all thy charms withdrawn; Amidst thy bowers the tyrant's hand is seen,
And desolation saddens all thy green:
One only master grasps the whole domain,
And half a tillage stints thy smiling plain;
No more thy glassy brook reflects the day,
But, choaked with sedges, works its weedy way;
Along thy glades, a solitary guest,
The hollow-sounding bittern guards its nest;
Amidst thy desert walks the lapwing flies,
And tires their echoes with unvaried cries.
Sunk are thy bowers, in shapeless ruin all,
And the long grass o'ertops the mouldering wall; And, trembling, shrinking from the spoiler's hand, Far, far away, thy children leave the land.
Ill fares the land, to hastening ills a prey,
Where wealth accumulates, and men decay:
Princes and lords may flourish, or may fade;
A breath can make them, as a breath has made;
But a bold peasantry, their country's pride,
When once destroyed, can never be supplied.
A time there was, ere England's griefs began,
When every rood of ground maintained its man;
For him light labour spread her wholesome store, Just gave what life required, but gave no more:
His best companions, innocence and health;
And his best riches, ignorance of wealth.
But times are altered; trade's unfeeling train
Usurp the land and dispossess the swain;
Along the lawn, where scattered hamlets rose,
Unwieldy wealth and cumbrous pomp repose;
And every want to oppulence allied,
And every pang that folly pays to pride.
Those gentle hours that plenty bade to bloom,
Those calm desires that asked but little room,
Those healthful sports that graced the peaceful scene, Lived in each look, and brightened all the green; These, far departing seek a kinder shore,
And rural mirth and manners are no more.
Sweet Auburn! parent of the blissful hour,
Thy glades forlorn confess the tyrant's power.
Here as I take my solitary rounds,
Amidst thy tangling walks, and ruined grounds,
And, many a year elapsed, return to view
Where once the cottage stood, the hawthorn grew, Remembrance wakes with all her busy train,
Swells at my breast, and turns the past to pain. In all my wanderings round this world of care,
In all my griefs—and God has given my share— I still had hopes, my latest hours to crown,
Amidst these humble bowers to lay me down;
To husband out life's taper at the close,
And keep the flame from wasting by repose.
I still had hopes, for pride attends us still,
Amidst the swains to shew my book-learned skill, Around my fire an evening groupe to draw,
And tell of all I felt, and all I saw;
And, as an hare whom hounds and horns pursue,
Pants to the place from whence at first she flew, I still had hopes, my long vexations past,
Here to return—and die at home at last.
O blest retirement, friend to life's decline,
Retreats from care that never must be mine,
How happy he who crowns, in shades like these
A youth of labour with an age of ease;
Who quits a world where strong temptations try,
And, since 'tis hard to combat, learns to fly!
For him no wretches, born to work and weep,
Explore the mine, or tempt the dangerous deep;
No surly porter stands in guilty state
To spurn imploring famine from the gate,
But on he moves to meet his latter end,
Angels around befriending virtue's friend;
Bends to the grave with unperceived decay,
While resignation gently slopes the way;
And, all his prospects brightening to the last,
His Heaven commences ere the world be past!
Sweet was the sound, when oft at evening's close, Up yonder hill the village murmur rose;
There, as I past with careless steps and slow,
The mingling notes came soften'd from below;
The swain responsive as the milk-maid sung,
The sober herd that lowed to meet their young,
The noisy geese that gabbled o'er the pool,
The playful children just let loose from school, The watch-dog's voice that bayed the whispering wind, And the loud laugh that spoke the vacant mind,
These all in sweet confusion sought the shade,
And filled each pause the nightingale had made.
But now the sounds of population fail,
No cheerful murmurs fluctuate in the gale,
No busy steps the grass-grown foot-way tread,
For all the bloomy flush of life is fled.
All but yon widowed, solitary thing
That feebly bends beside the plashy spring;
She, wretched matron, forced in age, for bread,
To strip the brook with mantling cresses spread, To pick her wintry faggot from the thorn,
To seek her nightly shed, and weep till morn;
She only left of all the harmless train,
The sad historian of the pensive plain.
Near yonder copse, where once the garden smiled, And still where many a garden-flower grows wild; There, where a few torn shrubs the place disclose, The village preacher's modest mansion rose.
A man he was, to all the country dear,
And passing rich with forty pounds a year;
Remote from towns he ran his godly race,
Nor e'er had changed, nor wished to change his place; Unpractised he to fawn, or seek for power,
By doctrines fashioned to the varying hour;
Far other aims his heart had learned to prize,
More skilled to raise the wretched than to rise. His house was known to all the vagrant train,
He chid their wanderings but relieved their pain; The long-remembered beggar was his guest,
Whose beard descending swept his aged breast;
The ruined spendthrift, now no longer proud,
Claim'd kindred there, and had his claims allowed; The broken soldier, kindly bade to stay,
Sate by his fire, and talked the night away;
Wept o'er his wounds, or, tales of sorrow done,
Shouldered his crutch, and shewed how fields were won. Pleased with his guests, the good man learned to glow, And quite forgot their vices in their woe;
Careless their merits, or their faults to scan,
His pity gave ere charity began.
Thus to relieve the wretched was his pride,
And even his failings leaned to Virtue's side;
But in his duty prompt at every call,
He watched and wept, he prayed and felt, for all. And, as a bird each fond endearment tries,
To tempt its new-fledged offspring to the skies; He tried each art, reproved each dull delay,
Allured to brighter worlds, and led the way.
Beside the bed where parting life was layed,
And sorrow, guilt, and pain, by turns, dismayed
The reverend champion stood. At his control
Despair and anguish fled the struggling soul;
Comfort came down the trembling wretch to raise, And his last faltering accents whispered praise. At church, with meek and unaffected grace,
His looks adorned the venerable place;
Truth from his lips prevailed with double sway,
And fools, who came to scoff, remained to pray.
The service past, around the pious man,
With steady zeal, each honest rustic ran;
Even children followed, with endearing wile,
And plucked his gown, to share the good man's smile. His ready smile a parent's warmth exprest,
Their welfare pleased him, and their cares distrest: To them his heart, his love, his griefs were given, But all his serious thoughts had rest in Heaven. As some tall cliff that lifts its awful form,
Swells from the vale, and midway leaves the storm, Tho' round its breast the rolling clouds are spread, Eternal sunshine settles on its head.
Beside yon straggling fence that skirts the way, With blossomed furze unprofitably gay,
There, in his noisy mansion, skill'd to rule,
The village master taught his little school;
A man severe he was, and stern to view,
I knew him well, and every truant knew;
Well had the boding tremblers learned to trace
The day's disasters in his morning face;
Full well they laughed, with counterfeited glee, At all his jokes, for many a joke had he:
Full well the busy whisper circling round,
Conveyed the dismal tidings when he frowned;
Yet he was kind, or if severe in aught,
The love he bore to learning was in fault;
The village all declared how much he knew;
'Twas certain he could write, and cypher too;
Lands he could measure, terms and tides presage, And ev'n the story ran that he could gauge.
In arguing too, the parson owned his skill,
For even tho' vanquished, he could argue still;
While words of learned length and thundering sound, Amazed the gazing rustics ranged around;
And still they gazed, and still the wonder grew, That one small head could carry all he knew.
But past is all his fame. The very spot
Where many a time he triumphed, is forgot.
Near yonder thorn, that lifts its head on high,
Where once the sign-post caught the passing eye, Low lies that house where nut-brown draughts inspired, Where grey-beard mirth and smiling toil retired, Where village statesmen talked with looks profound, And news much older than their ale went round.
Imagination fondly stoops to trace
The parlour splendours of that festive place;
The white-washed wall, the nicely sanded floor,
The varnished clock that clicked behind the door; The chest contrived a double debt to pay,
A bed by night, a chest of drawers by day;
The pictures placed for ornament and use,
The twelve good rules, the royal game of goose;
The hearth, except when winter chill'd the day,
With aspen boughs, and flowers, and fennel gay;
While broken tea-cups, wisely kept for shew,
Ranged o'er the chimney, glistened in a row.
Vain transitory splendours! Could not all
Reprieve the tottering mansion from its fall!
Obscure it sinks, nor shall it more impart
An hour's importance to the poor man's heart;
Thither no more the peasant shall repair
To sweet oblivion of his daily care;
No more the farmer's news, the barber's tale,
No more the woodman's ballad shall prevail;
No more the smith his dusky brow shall clear,
Relax his ponderous strength, and lean to hear;
The host himself no longer shall be found
Careful to see the mantling bliss go round;
Nor the coy maid, half willing to be prest,
Shall kiss the cup to pass it to the rest.
Yes! let the rich deride, the proud disdain,
These simple blessings of the lowly train;
To me more dear, congenial to my heart,
One native charm, than all the gloss of art;
Spontaneous joys, where Nature has its play,
The soul adopts, and owns their first-born sway; Lightly they frolic o'er the vacant mind,
Unenvied, unmolested, unconfined.
But the long pomp, the midnight masquerade,
With all the freaks of wanton wealth arrayed,
In these, ere triflers half their wish obtain,
The toiling pleasure sickens into pain;
And, even while fashion's brightest arts decoy,
The heart distrusting asks, if this be joy.
Ye friends to truth, ye statesmen who survey
The rich man's joys encrease, the poor's decay,
'Tis yours to judge, how wide the limits stand
Between a splendid and a happy land.
Proud swells the tide with loads of freighted ore, And shouting Folly hails them from her shore;
Hoards even beyond the miser's wish abound,
And rich men flock from all the world around.
Yet count our gains. This wealth is but a name
That leaves our useful products still the same.
Not so the loss. The man of wealth and pride
Takes up a space that many poor supplied;
Space for his lake, his park's extended bounds,
Space for his horses, equipage, and hounds:
The robe that wraps his limbs in silken sloth,
Has robbed the neighbouring fields of half their growth; His seat, where solitary sports are seen,
Indignant spurns the cottage from the green:
Around the world each needful product flies,
For all the luxuries the world supplies.
While thus the land adorned for pleasure, all
In barren splendour feebly waits the fall.
As some fair female unadorned and plain,
Secure to please while youth confirms her reign, Slights every borrowed charm that dress supplies, Nor shares with art the triumph of her eyes.
But when those charms are past, for charms are frail, When time advances, and when lovers fail,
She then shines forth, solicitous to bless,
In all the glaring impotence of dress.
Thus fares the land, by luxury betrayed:
In nature's simplest charms at first arrayed;
But verging to decline, its splendours rise,
Its vistas strike, its palaces surprize;
While, scourged by famine from the smiling land, The mournful peasant leads his humble band;
And while he sinks, without one arm to save,
The country blooms—a garden, and a grave.
Where then, ah where, shall poverty reside,
To scape the pressure of contiguous pride?
If to some common's fenceless limits strayed,
He drives his flock to pick the scanty blade,
Those fenceless fields the sons of wealth divide, And ev'n the bare-worn common is denied.
If to the city sped—What waits him there?
To see profusion that he must not share;
To see ten thousand baneful arts combined
To pamper luxury, and thin mankind;
To see those joys the sons of pleasure know,
Extorted from his fellow-creature's woe.
Here while the courtier glitters in brocade,
There the pale artist plies the sickly trade;
Here while the proud their long-drawn pomps display, There the black gibbet glooms beside the way.
The dome where Pleasure holds her midnight reign, Here, richly deckt, admits the gorgeous train;
Tumultuous grandeur crowds the blazing square,
The rattling chariots clash, the torches glare.
Sure scenes like these no troubles e'er annoy!
Sure these denote one universal joy!
Are these thy serious thoughts?—Ah, turn thine eyes Where the poor houseless shivering female lies.
She once, perhaps, in village plenty blest,
Has wept at tales of innocence distrest;
Her modest looks the cottage might adorn
Sweet as the primrose peeps beneath the thorn:
Now lost to all; her friends, her virtue fled,
Near her betrayer's door she lays her head,
And, pinch'd with cold, and shrinking from the shower, With heavy heart deplores that luckless hour
When idly first, ambitious of the town,
She left her wheel and robes of country brown.
Do thine, sweet Auburn, thine, the loveliest train, Do thy fair tribes participate her pain?
Even now, perhaps, by cold and hunger led,
At proud men's doors they ask a little bread!
Ah, no. To distant climes, a dreary scene,
Where half the convex world intrudes between,
Through torrid tracts with fainting steps they go, Where wild Altama murmurs to their woe.
Far different there from all that charm'd before, The various terrors of that horrid shore;
Those blazing suns that dart a downward ray,
And fiercely shed intolerable day;
Those matted woods where birds forget to sing,
But silent bats in drowsy clusters cling;
Those poisonous fields with rank luxuriance crowned, Where the dark scorpion gathers death around;
Where at each step the stranger fears to wake
The rattling terrors of the vengeful snake;
Where crouching tigers wait their hapless prey,
And savage men, more murderous still than they;
While oft in whirls the mad tornado flies,
Mingling the ravaged landscape with the skies.
Far different these from every former scene,
The cooling brook, the grassy vested green,
The breezy covert of the warbling grove,
That only shelter'd thefts of harmless love.
Good Heaven! what sorrows gloom'd that parting day, That called them from their native walks away;
When the poor exiles, every pleasure past,
Hung round their bowers, and fondly looked their last, And took a long farewell, and wished in vain
For seats like these beyond the western main;
And shuddering still to face the distant deep,
Returned and wept, and still returned to weep.
The good old sire the first prepared to go
To new found worlds, and wept for others woe.
But for himself, in conscious virtue brave,
He only wished for worlds beyond the grave.
His lovely daughter, lovelier in her tears,
The fond companion of his helpless years,
Silent went next, neglectful of her charms,
And left a lover's for a father's arms.
With louder plaints the mother spoke her woes,
And blessed the cot where every pleasure rose;
And kist her thoughtless babes with many a tear, And claspt them close, in sorrow doubly dear;
Whilst her fond husband strove to lend relief
In all the silent manliness of grief.
O luxury! thou curst by Heaven's decree,
How ill exchanged are things like these for thee! How do thy potions, with insidious joy,
Diffuse their pleasures only to destroy!
Kingdoms, by thee, to sickly greatness grown,
Boast of a florid vigour not their own;
At every draught more large and large they grow, A bloated mass of rank unwieldy woe;
Till sapped their strength, and every part unsound, Down, down they sink, and spread a ruin round.
Even now the devastation is begun,
And half the business of destruction done;
Even now, methinks, as pondering here I stand,
I see the rural virtues leave the land:
Down where yon anchoring vessel spreads the sail, That idly waiting flaps with every gale,
Downward they move, a melancholy band,
Pass from the shore, and darken all the strand.
Contented toil, and hospitable care,
And kind connubial tenderness, are there;
And piety with wishes placed above,
And steady loyalty, and faithful love.
And thou, sweet Poetry, thou loveliest maid,
Still first to fly where sensual joys invade;
Unfit in these degenerate times of shame,
To catch the heart, or strike for honest fame;
Dear charming nymph, neglected and decried,
My shame in crowds, my solitary pride;
Thou source of all my bliss, and all my woe,
That found'st me poor at first, and keep'st me so; Thou guide by which the nobler arts excell,
Thou nurse of every virtue, fare thee well!
Farewell, and O where'er thy voice be tried,
On Torno's cliffs, or Pambamarca's side,
Whether were equinoctial fervours glow,
Or winter wraps the polar world in snow,
Still let thy voice, prevailing over time,
Redress the rigours of the inclement clime;
Aid slighted truth with thy persuasive strain,
Teach erring man to spurn the rage of gain;
Teach him, that states of native strength possest, Tho' very poor, may still be very blest;
That trade's proud empire hastes to swift decay, As ocean sweeps the labour'd mole away;
While self-dependent power can time defy,
As rocks resist the billows and the sky.

Banana peels have almost no friction.
Banana peels have felled many cartoon characters, Mario Kart players, and average people alike. However, what makes it so slippery in the first place? To answer this, four Japanese scientists measured the amount of friction between a shoe, a banana skin, and the floor. Turns out, the friction coefficient was at an almost nonexistent 0.07 – walking with the banana peel was 6 times slippier than normal friction between a shoe and the floor.