"Run one for the GIPPER!"

Or maybe Ron Reagan was the running back involved, I've never watched the old black and white movie.*

As an amateur cryptologist I'm wondering how that phrase can be tied into the chess game here?

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*In the early '80s I was sharing a house with fellow college students from Taiwan and Red China [they were not allowed to speak to each other] I had the most fun ever when a TV station was showing an old movie late at night <Bedtime for Bonzo> which starred none other than Ronald Reagan, who was then president of the United States.

I've never watched the movie, but i think the film featured a talking chimpanzee, which would only talk to the Ron Reagan character.

Anyhow, the famous Gaw-Paw: 5.Qb6. Only 64 games in the database out of the tons of Sicilians, all after 1991. White wins 47% Draw 23% Black wins 30%. Only two games with 10.Bxc5: the other one went 14.g3 instead of Kf3 and White won: A Dunne vs Edward F McHugh, 1996. Strange opening by White, letting her K get so exposed. SF recommends 15.c4 (-0.4 at 31 ply) instead of 15.Nxc8 (-4.50 at 29 ply).

Oh My Lord!

My heart cried out in sheer agony and everything went dark.

When I woke I was standing by a pearly gate. Oh no, I thought, I have died and gone to heaven. This pun has been the death of me.

St Peter looked at me with a scowl.He said what do you want me to do about it? You are ahead of your expected time of arrival.

He motioned to a window to the right. Out! He yelled. An angel then threw me out of the 4th floor of heaven. Get out of here, he said and don’t ever come back with such a rotten pun again!

I fell through the air faster and faster and watched all the chess games I ever played flash before my eyes.

But I didn’t die, no, death would have been too kind a punishment for reading that pun. Instead, I crashed through the domed roof of a building shaped like a huge pawn. There were 8 floors and bam bam bam I crashed through three of them and landed on a checker board square floor that was infinite in every direction.

Where am I, I said next to a short angel dressed in a black and white outfit who walked over to me.

You are in Caisa’s domain of lost souls of chess. I am your guide. You may call me Djahb-doo. Come with me.

Djahb-doo was muttering under his breath, how many more? What will Bha-be say? What will Bha-be do?

I followed Djahb-doo across the floor for awhile until I saw a long line of others. Who are they, I asked my guide.

Djahb-doo said, you are the 9 millionth 847 thousandth 643rd person today who read that dreadful pun of Miss Scarlett’s.

You all died before your time and got thrown out of heaven. Something simply must be done about her, pray Bha-be.

And lo! I heard a wailing and a gnashing of teeth like a million mournful cats rueing the day. We all waited in a long line winding to and fro along the infinite checkerboard floor a-wondering a-wailing and a-gnashing.

Above us was a giant chess clock ticking away the time. From my angle I couldn’t see the face very well. But I could see that there was a small red flag that was balanced on what might be a minute hand. How much more time until the red flag drops, I asked Djahb-doo. He said, just 5,675 eternities remain. Be glad you will not be here forever.

I asked him cannot this time be shortened? Though you say it not, it feels like forever to me.

Taking pity upon me, he handed me a small beaded bracelet with 8 red and 8 green beads on it. He instructed me to repeat a short prayer: PK4 best-by-test, PB3 pray-for-me.

When I dropped the last grain into the bag there was a flash of lightning and a crash of thunder. The red flag had fallen at last. The white square I was standing on opened up and swallowed me whole. I dropped down a circular slide for a long time. I felt like was in a Stanley Kubrick movie, there were alternating lights of red and green and hundreds of voices all chanting A Gaw Paw Here and A Gaw Paw There. Here a Gaw Paw There a Gaw Paw Everywhere a Gaw Paw. Old Miss Scarlett Made A Pun, P K P K 4!

Then there was at last a merciful and blessed silence. I found myself sitting on a chair at small chess table. Sitting across from me was none other than Bha-be himself.

I asked him what he was doing here. He said Caisa was away on an errand. He, Capah and Ahlex took one shift a day. One day Caisa would return and he could finish all the games he was destined to play but never did while on earth.

You mean… I started to ask.

Yes, he said. For a long time before I died I was in a dark place. I couldn’t live with chess and I couldn’t live without it. I said and did many things I shouldn’t have. The light of Caisa by which I saw each and every move left me and my heart was broken.

But the good deeds a man does speak for him in his hour of darkness. I realized near the end of my life that I had forgotten it’s just a game. Then one night in a dream Djab-doo came to me. We had a long talk and I repented of my wrong doings, my lack of kindness and humility, and my stubbornness. Soon after, I passed on to this place.

To learn those lessons I failed to learn on earth, I had to play Brahman 64, a chess computer with an infinite number of plies. He kicked my everlasting butt every time I played.

So you never won a game I asked? That must have been some punishment, to play with no hope.

Oh no, he said. Djab-do was easily able to beat the Brahman 64 in just 80 million moves. He explained it this way. Computers do have their limitations after all, infinite thought they be in memory and nearly instantaneous in speed.

But how could you be more powerful than that, I asked?

He grinned a secret grin, like the ChessIre cat. But Bha-be frowned at me. Please, promise me no more puns or I will ask you to leave. Don’t you know, every time a chess pun is made an angel loses its chess game? Wait till Miss Scarlett finds out what’s in store for her!

As I was saying…. Even though the Brahmin 64 has infinite capabilities, it is only countably infinite. Humans are endowed with uncountably infinite capabilities.

But how would that help, I asked, since there are only at most countably infinite number of moves, or less?

Bha-bee said yes this was a puzzler. It took me a few million consecutive losses before I had my first draw. By that time all the pride was burned out of me.

He went on with excitement in his voice. I learned that there are gambits that only a few humans have glimpsed. He showed me game by Naka with 8 knights on the board. See what I mean?

There are possibilities with this game that are beyond the horizon of even countably infinite computers.

Slowly, my game improved and I eked out a few draws here and there as I honed these new skills. Finally, I won my first game and now I can even beat Djahb-doo every now and then.

You mean he is better at chess than you? Who is he? I asked.

You haven’t figured it out? He is the first Grand Master, a first class Wizard of a chess player. It was he who invented this game long ago in India. Caisa came to him one night in a dream. She said humanity will kill itself one day if they don’t stop playing these stupid games of life and death. The next day he presented his king with the rules of chess. His only mistake was that he asked in return for a doubling of wheat on each square as payment. The king, not capable of seeing that many moves ahead agreed. When the king eventually learned that his kingdom would be bankrupt, he called the Wizard to account. When the Wizard said yes, he knew his request would surpass all the king’s wealth the king told him he truly made a bad move, one of ego and pride. He was banished from the kingdom and when he passed on, Caisa took him in.

Bha-bee, I said, isn’t there a mistake here? You told me that 6 pieces can be promoted. Aren’t there only rook, knight, bishop and queen that can be promoted?

Bha-be said, those are the rules you play by now, but they are not the rules as first relayed by Caisa.

In Her original conception, pawns may be promoted into all six pieces, even a King. The pieces may be placed anywhere on the board (except a pawn promoted to the 8th rank is considered an offer of a draw, which may be refused). If a pawn is promoted to a King, the current King is removed from the board and a new King may be placed anywhere else on the board except into check. Finally, the pieces on the back rank may be placed in any order by either side in this order: R, N, B, B, N, R, Q, K.

Wow I said. Those were the original rules?

Yes, Bha-be said, along with some rules about clocks which we are still only beginning to understand. Though I didn’t know it at the time, it was Caisa who inspired me to randomize the pieces and add increments of time to the clock.

When you put all those rules together, Caisa assured me that the number of possible positions exceeds Aleph Null, the first countably infinite number. Only she knows if it’s greater than Aleph Null and Aleph One. Sometimes I wonder if that number is 64 raised to the Aleph Null. Once I thought I saw Caisa and Djahb-doo playing on a 10x10 board.

I could only sit in silence as I contemplated this new realm of chess.

When at last my mind returned to the here and now, I asked Bha-be what lay in his future?

He said, my destiny was to continue to play my entire life span of 64 years. I did fulfil Caisa’s desire to expand the rules, for which she is grateful. Eventually, I am destined to eventually play Karpov, Kasparov, Anand, Kramnik, Carlsen, Nakamura, Karjakin, Caruana, and many, many others. Oh my dance card is nowhere near full.

Every generation, Caisa has a round robin of 64 players, each the winner of a round robin of 64 players, themselves the winner of a round robin of 64 players. It does keep me up late at night, discovering new variations and replaying prior games.

I asked him if there was a database of all games previously played.

He said there was a limited edition available. You are familiar with Knuth’s up arrow notation?

Yes, I said. It’s an exponention process of 2 raised a power of itself. 2 ! 4 means 2x2x2x2. 2!!4 means 2 to the 16th which is 65,536.

How much is 2 ! 8, he asked.

256, I said.

Very good he said. In that notation, the index of games listed in the limited edition is 2 !!!! !!!! 8. Nobody has been able to give the number the actual pages in the book. Only Caisa knows.

He showed me his watch, a gift from Caisa. It had 8 large numerals with 8 smaller marks within each octal.

Time for you to go. Very pleased to meet you. Send my love to everyone you meet. And remember - e4 is still best by test, even up here.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%85

Thanks for the note. Let's speculate a bit: the variation was invented by a Swedish player. "Gå På" apparently means "Go on" (not joking now). Go on, move you Q to b6 as early as the 5th move to give White a win rate of 47%, at least you get a surprise effect. Since the ECO system doesn't allow strange accents, they picked the closest pronunciation. Could make sense.