This better not be innuendo!!!

Of course <everyone> knows Frankenstein isn't actually the monster, but his lovable mad scientist creator (aren't there any monster evolutionists? Frankensteinology needs a Dawkins).

Have you seen Ken Russell's film <Gothic> about Mary Shelley, Byron, Polidori & co, whooping it up round Geneva and telling spooky stories?

PS. Innaresting responses chez GMNS, no?

<Gothic> is great, especially with Percy as a "rock star" and the amazing <Gabriel Byrne> as the devilish Byron.

<Lair of White Worm>, <Lisztomania>, even <Tommy>....

BIG FAN OF RUSSELL'S EXCESS

big, big fan.

Good commens on the GMNS page btw...

Actually, it's a pretty fun place when Nigel's not actually posting there...

Will debut it this afternoon...

(I got <samikd> totally screwed in our Correspondence Game now-- and I even warned him!! Actually told him he had <prophylactic> work to do on his Kingside and yet he's still pushing on my Kingside... He's DEAD now, he doesn't see the absolutely winning combination I have now on his Kingside-- Have a look if you get a chance.

Just going to double check my calculations before posting the <Kill Move>....)

And the phone rings. My friend answers. "Hi," says a voice "this is Gabriel..." "Oh @#$%", she says. And drops the phone. Luckily, just then I come running back in...

It turned out somebody had given Gabriel a number with one wrong digit. He'd called it at the right time and said "Hi, this is Gabriel Byrne" to the guy who answered it. Who then said "sure, and I'm the effin' pope" and hung up.

Byrne is amazing. I saw him on <Actor's studio> TV show and he had me and the audience in stitches the whole time. Plus he's a good short story writer, as you're probably well aware.

In my game against <Samikd>...

And I'm sure I'm right!! The game is over!!

I just played the <Kill Move> now- <f6+> and it wins by force.

Or I'll eat my shorts. On TV.

That's how sure I am.

Wheeeeeee Correspondence Chess kicks ass. So much time to think before moving! And you telling me I'm playing <Blitz Correspondence>?

Yeesh I'm just glad for every minute over ten (the yahoo limit) that I can spend on each move....

I LOVE CHESS I CAN'T HELP IT

So, if you will, consider this the FROGSPAWN letters page: who is the least important celebrity you've ever received a letter from? No 'big' names - I don't care about the time <Eyal> received a signed photo from all of Atomic Kitten, or <jessica>'s private correspondence with the King of Jordan - the naffer the better. But there has to be a story behind it, too.

I'm going to lead with ex-Wimbledon goalkeeper Dave Beasant. When I was a wee lad of, oh I dunno, eight or something, I had one of those obligatory 'Big Boys Book of Mega Footy Facts' encyclopaedias. On the page about the FA Cup, Mr. Beasant had an entry thanks to being the first (and I believe only) keeper to have ever saved a penalty in an FA Cup final. This was accompanied by a live-action photo taken from behind the goal. Now, with my beady infant eyes, I happened notice that one of Dave's boots had a red sole, whilst the other was white. Being desperate to know just why this was so, I drew a lovely picture of the save, and sent it to Dave c/o Southampton FC, and within three days (!) the following arrived in suspiciously neat, joined-up handwriting:

Dear Morgan,

Thanks for the picture of me saving the penalty. It's very good.

In answer to your query, my red soled boot split in the first half, and so at half time I had to put a spare on.

All the best,

Dave

Oh, wait. I've got a book dedicated to me by Marsha Hunt. She insisted.

Some kind of <sportsman>?

Edam Life, by John Cale

Roquefort all over the World - um, Status Quo?

John Wensleydale Hardin, Bob Dylan (errr...?)

Gruyere Up in Public, Lou Reed

If I Cheddar Get Out of Here, Paul McCartney & Wings

Brie (theme from Desperate Housewives?)

Anything cheesy by Cheshire Cat Stevens.

Three. Duns Scotus, Jonathan Swift, and Oscar Wilde. Oh, and Beckett, Yeats, Shaw and Joyce.

Yes - he wasn't a receptionist for long though, as they soon realised that he was better than all of the bastards who wrote for the magazine put together.

People frown when I tell them much I love Danny Baker, and the usual response is something like 'Baker? You mean that @#$% from the Daz adverts?' But the truth remains that he's the most constantly interesting and innovative radio presenter of the past twenty years or more.

I *can* tie this all into chess, too. A long time ago I seem to remember that Baker started a campaign to get the BCF to pay for a memorial sign to be errected for a baby pig that had been killed when a giant chess piece had blown over onto it. I don't think I'm making this up.

(It's a funny old world, isn't it. I did a quick search for 'Danny Baker + chess' to see if I could find the article he wrote - to no avail, but two other hits jumped out immediately. One is me posting in this exact forum about Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts a few weeks back, and the other is the top link, 'custardTV', which reveals the following is coming up on BBC2 soon:

<Chess BBC2 – Chess tournament that pits the best UK players against their Russian counterparts>

In the 1960s Irish TV started its own rural soap opera, The Riordans, which ran for years and years and became an institution. Set on a farm, it had its own agricultural advisor -- like The Archers on BBC R4, there was a propaganda element, encouraging farmers to modernise. So stolid patriarch Tom Riordan stalked his land grumpily as his wife made endless cups of tea (this is where Ted's Mrs Doyle comes from), while outside their offspring drove racy tractors and had anguished conversations about the rhythm method.

One day the large bald actor who played Tom -- John something -- was phlegmatically munching his way through lunch in a restaurant in a small town in West Cork. I'm outside, age ten, with a gaggle of small boys. Somehow I get deputed to go in and ask the great man for his autograph.