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May-13-07
 | | jessicafischerqueen: <dOM>!!!
AMBER ALERT
<Eyal> just changed his avatar and he is not around posting. DO YOU THINK HIS ACCOUNT GOT HI JACKED!!!
Jess of the nervous around these <internet> thingys and mysteriously disappering post mysteries... |
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May-13-07
| | jessicafischerqueen: <Eyal> you are posting!! Bad news, someone has taken over your account and changed the avatar!! Please contact me with full report asap.
THIS IS TREMENDOUSL CONFUSING CHESS ladies and gentlemen |
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| May-13-07 | | WBP: <Dom> I know you're away from the forum for a day or two, but I wanted to drop by anyway. Wandering now alone in your spacious, largely deserted forum, which has been the locus for so much wit and wisdom in the past, I feel almost as though I'm in a spacious lecture hall at, say, Oxford or Cambridge (or an American Ivy League school) the week after classes have ended and all have gone home. The campus is deserted, but the aura of learning, humor, and wisdom still lingers, even as I pass empty classroom after empty classroom, the sound of my echoing footsteps my only companion. |
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| May-13-07 | | WBP: <Frogspawn> Quotation for Today: "Then from the jaws of dragon and beast and false prophet I saw three foul spirits come; they looked like <frogs>." Book of Revelation
New Jerusalem Version
(my KJV is across the room) |
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May-13-07
| | jessicafischerqueen: What's wrong with the <Old Jerusalem>? Signed,
A. Conservative |
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| May-13-07 | | WBP: <What's wrong with the <Old Jerusalem>?> Oh, just that the NJV--in stark contrast to the OJV--is more progressive. For example, when Christ and his disciples have their last supper, in addition to the wine and wafer, they have a salad bar. (BTW: The verse quoted is Rev. 16:13) |
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| May-13-07 | | Eyal: <For example, when Christ and his disciples have their last supper, in addition to the wine and wafer, they have a salad bar.> Michelangelo: Good evening, your Holiness.
Pope: Evening, Michelangelo. I want to have a word with you about this painting of yours, "The Last Supper." Michelangelo: Oh, yeah?
Pope: I'm not happy about it.
Michelangelo: Oh, dear. It took me hours.
Pope: Not happy at all.
Michelangelo: Is it the jello you don't like?
Pope: No.
Michelangelo: Ah, no, I know, they do have a bit of colour, don't they? Oh, I know, you don't like the kangaroo? Pope: What kangaroo?
Michelangelo: No problem, I'll paint him out.
Pope: I never saw a kangaroo!
Michelangelo: Uuh...he's right in the back. I'll paint him out! No sweat, I'll make him into a disciple. Pope: Aah.
Michelangelo: All right?
Pope: That's the problem.
Michelangelo: What is?
Pope: The disciples.
Michelangelo: Are they too Jewish? I made Judas the most Jewish. Pope: No, it's just that there are twenty-eight of them. Michelangelo: Oh, well, another one will never matter, I'll make the kangaroo into another one. Pope: No, that's not the point.
Michelangelo: All right. Well, I'll lose the kangaroo. Be honest, I wasn't perfectly happy with it. Pope: That's not the point. There are twenty-eight disciples! Michelangelo: Too many?
Pope: Well, of course it's too many!
Michelangelo: Yeah, I know that, but I wanted to give the impression of a real last supper. You know, not just any old last supper. Not like a last meal or a final snack. But you know, I wanted to give the impression of a real mother of a blow-out, you know? Pope: There were only twelve disciples at the last supper. Michelangelo: Well, maybe some of the others ones came along after... Pope: There were only twelve altogether.
Michelangelo: Well, maybe some of their friends came by, you know? Pope: Look! There were just twelve disciples and our Lord at the last supper. The Bible clearly says so. Michelangelo: No friends?
Pope: No friends.
Michelangelo: Waiters?
Pope: No.
Michelangelo: Cabaret?
Pope: No!
Michelangelo: You see, I like them, they help to flesh out the scene, I could lose a few, you know I could... Pope: Look! There were only twelve disciples at...
Michelangelo: I've got it! I've got it! We'll call it "The Last But One Supper"! Pope: What?
Michelangelo: Well there must have been one, if there was a last supper there must have been a one before that, so this is the "Penultimate Supper"! The Bible doesn't say how many people were there now, does it? Pope: No, but...
Michelangelo: Well there you are, then!
Pope: Look! The last supper is a significant event in the life of our Lord, the penultimate supper was not! Even if they had a conjurer and a mariachi band. Now, a last supper I commissioned from you, and a last supper I want! With twelve disciples and one Christ! Michelangelo: One?!
Pope: Yes one! Now will you please tell me what in God's name possessed you to paint this with three Christs in it? Michelangelo: It works, mate!
Pope: Works?
Michelangelo: Yeah! It looks great! The fat one balances the two skinny ones. Pope: There was only one Redeemer!
Michelangelo: Ah, I know that, we all know that, what about a bit of artistic license? Pope: Well one Messiah is what I want!
Michelangelo: I'll tell you what you want, mate! You want a bloody photographer! That's what you want. Not a bloody creative artist to crease you up... Pope: I'll tell you what I want!! I want a last supper with one Christ, twelve disciples, no kangaroos, no trampoline acts, by Thursday lunch, or you don't get paid!!! Michelangelo: Bloody fascist.
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| May-13-07 | | WBP: <Eyal> Hilarious! Definitely worthy of MPFC! |
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May-13-07
| | jessicafischerqueen: It is MPFC isn't it? Bloody funny. How's the work going <Bill>? <Eyal> I notice you are hesitating to hire me as your <spokesmodel>. Perhaps you need more information. I will work for 75 dollars American per hour (that's a real hour, not the kind like on your "military clocks" LOL) I enjoy long walks and <World War II Memoabilia>. My Scotch?
It's supposed to be my best opening (the one I play the most etc.) and I'm just not in love with it anymore. I may switch to a new nationality.
Anyhoo, <Dom> notice how quickly this place goes to hell in a handbasket when you leave it just for a few hours. It's not your students, but your faculty who cause the most problems in here. I blame <Eyal> the most under the Geneva <He should know better> articles signed in Helsinki by the Dutch to mark the Icelandic festival of <Hogmar> (don't ask). Jess of the cannot think straight without the calming presence of <venerable leader>. PLUS WE NEED SOME KIND OF THAT IRISH VOODOO YOU KNOW ABOUT!! just saying. |
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| May-13-07 | | WBP: <How's the work going <Bill>?> What work? I'm trying to change my $#%^#^ing avatar right now. |
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May-13-07
 | | Domdaniel: <Jess> I just got back from ... uh, Elsewhere. As one does. Or several. Am I here? Who am I today?
- <'Ere, Fred, they let the looney go. *You* know, the is-I-schiz guy? -- Nuttier than Squirrel Nutkin, battier than Pippy Strell's Belfry. Looks like a care-in-the-community job ... should I let him have his drugs or just put him on The Dream?> "How could a man be in two places at once, unless he were a bird?" Identity, as we know, is notoriously fluid, unstable, and mutable. This medium is an attractor for especially unstable identity-bearers. We do not know who our interlocutor is. It is "among the things that are hid", as <The Fairly Good Book> puts it. I thought <you>'d been magicked away by Canary Hex Witchcraft. With Academia playing a Coalmine, and Prof AN Professeur as a Wicked Capitalist Pit Owner Bull. The Fairly Good Book is 'Hannibal' (1999) by Thomas Harris. A short list of 'better' books (strictly one per author, 64 titles) -- these judgements are impromptu, adhoc, mostly aesthetic and entirely subjective -- might include: *random bookfile follows ... not really random but main input parameters are aleatory ...* |
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May-13-07
| | jessicafischerqueen: LOL
heh |
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May-13-07
| | Domdaniel: <a-file>:
The Atrocity Exhibition, JG Ballard
Gravity's Rainbow, Thomas Pynchon
Thru, Christine Brooke-Rose
Hannibal Lecter My Father, Kathy Acker
The Book of Imaginary Beings, JL Borges
The Clockwork Testament, Anthony Burgess
Heart of Darkness, Joseph Conrad
Pale Fire, Vladimir Nabokov
<b-file>:
Advance, Lev Psakhis
The Education of Henry Adams, Henry Adams
The Smithsonian Institute, Gore Vidal
Neuromancer, William Gibson
My System, Aron Nimzowitsch
The Great Shark Hunt, Hunter S Thompson
The Men Who Stare at Goats, Jon Ronson
The Archaeology of Knowledge, Michel Foucault
<c-file>:
Forget Foucault, Jean Baudrillard
Hallucinating Foucault, Patricia Duncker
Duino Elegies, RM Rilke
Dvoretsky's Endgame Manual, M.Dvoretsky
Role of the Reader, Umberto Eco
What's Welsh for Zen, John Cale
The Gutenberg Galaxy, Marshall McLuhan
Crack Wars: Literature/ Addiction/ Mania, Avital Ronell <d-file>:
Barefoot in the Head, Brian Aldiss
Narcomania, Marek Kohn
Homo Ludens, J.Huizinga
The New Apocrypha, John Sladek
The Book of Evidence, John Banville
After Many a Summer, Aldous Huxley
Illuminati Papers, Robert Anton Wilson
Finnegans Wake, James Joyce
<e-file>:
Data Trash, Arthur Kroker
S/Z, Roland Barthes
Breaking the Spell, Daniel Dennett
This is Not a Story, Denis Diderot
Tristram Shandy, Lawrence Sterne
The Third Policeman, Flann O'Brien
Nova Express, William S Burroughs
The System of the World, Neal Stephenson
<f-file>:
Guns, Germs & Steel, Jared Diamond
Consider Phlebas, Iain M Banks
After Babel, George Steiner
Murphy, Samuel Beckett
Amerika, Frank Kafka
The Salmon of Doubt, Douglas Adams
Dhalgren, Samuel Delany
Uncle Fred in the Springtime, PG Wodehouse
<g-file>:
General System Theory, Ludwig Von Bertalanffy
The Maths Gene, Keith Devlin
The God Delusion, Richard Dawkins
Varieties of Religious Experience, William James
Idle Passion: Chess and the Dance of Death, Alexander Cockburn The Plastic Tomato Cutter, Michael Curtin
My Name is Red, Orhan Pamuk
Genius Explained, MJ Howe
<h-file>:
Mathematics from the Birth of Numbers, Jan Gullberg
Interglossa, Lancelot Hogben
Giles Goat-Boy, John Barth
Monadology, Gottfried von Leibniz
Nimzowitsch Danmarks Skaklaerer, Bjorn Nielsen
Tony Miles: It's Only Me, Geoff Lawton
What is Mathematics?, R.Courant
What is Mathematics Really?, Reuben Hersh |
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| May-13-07 | | WBP: <Dom> I want to apologize for my part in messing up your forum while you were away. I promise I won't do it again today. I do think that you should note, however, that this thing happens whenever you leave your house untended. I think that it would be in the best interest of all that you begin presiding over your forum 24 hours a day, seven days a week (and I steadfastly refuse to use the term (if it may be called that) "24/7." |
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May-13-07
| | jessicafischerqueen: THIS PLACE IS AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE!!
(very interesting reading list btw) |
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May-13-07
| | Domdaniel: <when Christ and his disciples have their last supper, in addition to the wine and wafer, they have a salad bar> Hmm. Heh. heh heh. Deep "LOL" breath. Planet fails to spiral into sun. "Lord bless us, 'tis a miracle!" Or else, like, you know, sin is cool with the Big Guy. - You think? Great. Wanna fornicate?
No, no, NO. Well, maybe. Ask me again later. What I mean is, not *that* kinda sin. - Too obvious?
Too obvious. Try Blaspherous Libel.
- And that, would be, what, exactly?
Blasphemy, poached in Libel, and drizzled with fine Sulphur. The traditional kind used by depraved sheep, eh, *close friends of naughty sheep*, in, ah, Colourful Ethnic Traditional Hell. - Oh, you can't say that. No way. Anyway, I'd rather fornicate. Sins ought to be fun. Those long words - blooey. No fun. Blooey?
- Blooey *and* phooey. Now, hop into this Fornex here. It's a furnace, used in hell -- and Tophet, the bit of Hell that serves as a garbage dump for the other bits of Hell -- and also in the Stygian Caverns. All well-known as Places of Fornication. Stop it. Stop. Have you noticed? We seem to have accidentally exchanged identities? - Yes, I know. Hellish, isn't it?
So, what did you have in mind?
- Fornication? Oh, the usual. You take your... well, actually, *I* take your--- No, not fornication. The Blaspherous One.
- That? Nothing, really. "Pass the Sushi, Judas". Heh. "Look, Peter-the-Rock has rocket stuck to his beard. And the host is positively shimmering". Well, He would, wouldn't he? You have any idea just how many resonances 'host' has? - No.
Lots. "As host you are a trinity..."
- That's a Pynchon quote. Some sins will *never* be cool with the Big Guy. You think?
- I think. We're doome |
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May-13-07
| | Domdaniel: *Is it semantically and eschatologically consistent if the End of the World comes with a strong sense of deja vu?* - Yes, if you've watched enough sci-fi movies.
Ah. Righto, then....
d!! |
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May-13-07
| | Domdaniel: <Frogspawn Marketing Dept> Copies of (new dual format -- DVD and book in case all the DVD players are toast and we have to return to reading books...) our new Guide to Chess in the Post-Rapture Era will be for sale soon. Topics include:
"Kingside Pawn Storms -- Immanentize the Eschaton the Easy Way" "The Light Square Bishop as Tribulation Saint" |
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May-14-07
| | jessicafischerqueen: <Dom> excellent. This is precisely the kind of Irish "voudon" necessary to defeat the creeping dark. Please review last page and a half of my forum for details on the supernatural menace currently assailing us. WHOOOOOOOO
(rattles chains) |
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| May-14-07 | | Eyal: <Finnegans Wake, James Joyce> That kind of makes all the other items on the list redundant, doesn't it? |
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| May-15-07 | | mack: Hmm, so whaddya reckon - are we up for the Gert Jan Timmerman challenge? |
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| May-15-07 | | Elixir of Life: Dear <Domdaniel>
We will have a The World vs Gert Jan Timmerman game coming up on August. Timmerman is an ex-correspondence World Champion, so it's gonna be tough. We need you !!! Please consider joining!! |
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| May-15-07 | | Elixir of Life: PS. I wonder where's Twinlark... Where's he lately? How can I contact him? |
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| May-15-07 | | WBP: "Where have all the <Domdaniels> gone, Long time passing?" |
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May-16-07
| | jessicafischerqueen: <Dom> has abandoned his forum to the jackals. Mrs. A. Jackal
Somewheres in wherever they live |
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