I thought it was a beautiful puzzle. Every piece is where it should be--as in any good composition. The only exception is that the white queen could be on a2, for the same unique solution, but it is more aesthetically pleasing to have all the pieces within the a8-b8-b4-a4 rectangle, where more squares are occupied than empty, contrasting with the 54 empty squares outside that rectangle. Finally, there are four mates, a decent number.

Does this link work for you?

https://www.yacpdb.org/#search/MXI2...

<// 132994

It looks like the original was the mirror image of the one I posted.

In the meantime, I exercise, I have a good diet, I generally sleep well... most difficult it's to keep stress down, but all those things surely help, just like they help anyone.>

One of my sisters-in-law has MS. She is about 52 and was first diagnosed about 7 or 8 years ago. I haven't seen her in years, she has always been a bit of a recluse and her condition has exarcebated that. However her husband - my wife's brother - provide us with regular updates. Apparently she has a relatively 'mild' form of MS but when he visited on Christmas Eve he told me that he is quite disappointed by the fact that she always uses her mobility scooter despite being perfectly able to walk. I think exercise is very important and <Fusilli>'s approach to managing his MS is very inspirational.

One of my many co-morbidities ia another auto immune disorder which I've have had for exactly half of my life. I have what has now become very severe psoriasis which is extremely crippling. The itch, the pain, the bleeding and the flaking...you don't wanna know. I am know being treated with the newest generation biological drug that targets specific proteins in the immune system that are believed to play an important role in causing the illness, which has led to some improvement. We'll have to wait and see.

<he told me that he is quite disappointed by the fact that she always uses her mobility scooter despite being perfectly able to walk.> About this, I realize it's none of my business, but I would advise you to be careful. Some folks with MS <look> like they are <perfectly able to walk> but it may be the case that walking exhausts them, and for some it's even painful. A lot about MS is invisible, and a regular complain I hear from people with MS is that they feel misunderstood because they look fine.

In my case, it is pretty visible that my walking is far from perfect (cane, slow, wobbly) but the worst of it is not the aesthetic part, of course, but the fact that after two blocks of walking, I am exhausted. (This is <using> a cane... Without it, I can't even walk two walks without stopping.) So, I am strategic about how much I walk and when.

As to the common complaint I mentioned (people with MS feeling misunderstood), I never felt that way myself. I mean, people have no idea how tired I get, or how tired I am in the precise moment I am before their eyes, but I never felt any resentment or bitterness about that. Before I got hit by a disability, I had no idea of how folks with disabilities felt. I don't feel entitled to expect others to figure out things if I don't tell them. (And if I don't need to tell them, I won't. I don't need or want to be pitied... I am quite happy actually!) So, if I need something (some kind of accommodation), I communicate that clearly.

I think we all need to be better at open communication. Your sister-in-law got dealt a rough hand, and so has her husband, because the role of caregiver is quite tough. If <he> needs a break or some space for himself, he should communicate that and secure it. I have no idea if he does this, but communicating disappointment to his wife (as he did to you) would be a pretty bad idea. One possibility is to schedule short walks together. My wife and I do that. We go for a short walk around the small park on the corner of our block. (Now less often because it got cold.) If he proposes something like this, your brother-in-law should present it as his own need. Not "let's go for a walk because you need to exercise your legs" but "I would like us to go on a walk together. I would love it if you do that for me." MS means loss, and it means the grief that comes with losses... but the caregivers and loved ones lose too. My wife and I used to go for longer walks. Now she lost that too. I am not the only one losing.

As for your sister-in-law, strength exercise improves energy even if the strength of some muscles is gone. I am fortunate in that regard, because I can pay for a personal trainer who is very good at understanding what I need (he works with other people with disabilities), but perhaps she has access to a local club where they offer strength classes for folks like her.

It is also possible that she is dealing with depression, which is a common side effect of any chronic condition.

Ok, it looks like I made 153 assumptions in what I wrote above, and I sound preachy and even judgmental. Sorry about that! The more I think about these things, the more I get convinced that we all need to be kinder and communicate openly, clearly, and compassionately.

If I may continue my "Ask Fusilli" column advice, I would say make sure she knows you think about her needs too (which I am sure you already do). Maybe you can identify chunks of time (2 hours here, 1 hour there) where you can ask her to go out and do something for herself, and you'll be allright. Maybe you buy her a gift certificate for something and she goes out to use it (e.g., a spa session, if you can afford it; but there are things for all budgets... like plants, or even going to spend an hour at a coffee shop with a favorite book. Even better if you have flowers delivered for her, to the coffee shop, while she is reading that book... imagine!) I think the key is to let her know that you need and want her to do it. Caregivers feel, by default, as guilty as those who need their help, and it's important to help each other remove that corrosive feeling. When she goes out, she needs to know that when the sudden thought strikes her that she is doing something nice for herself while you are alone, you want her to do that something nice for herself because you are her caregiver too, in a broad sense of the world.

I don't depend much on my wife, but she does worry about me, and she is very sensitive to my moods. It's a delicate balance, because I want to feel free to just be sad when I feel sad, but it is contagious and then she gets stricken by sadness too. One thing that has been happening to me, as my mobility got reduced, is that a need to control as much as I can has increased, perhaps to compensate. I seem to want the house neater than ever, and all sorts of things done my way, and that's not healthy. I need to let go and learn to accept things as they are. Humor is always on my side (and my wife is great game when it comes to that), so I self-deprecate all the time. So, when I drive and park in a handicap spot, I tend to remark that I am getting the best parking spot because... cripple power! We laugh together all the time.

https://www.instagram.com/p/DEQSi07...

Inés struggled with her feelings after losing her husband, and told Pablo, my brother, about it. Pablo asked her if she had talked to her dad about it. She said that she hadn't, because she didn't want him to worry. Pablo then told her something like, look, your dad is old, he is frail, but he has feelings, and wisdom, and he loves you. Talk to him and give him the chance to give back to you. Let him feel helpful. So, Inés followed Pablo's advice. Her dad then stepped up to the plate like a champ, and did what good dads do, comforting her, because Pablo got it right. He is old, he is frail, but he still is there and has a lot to give.

Inés felt much better afterwards. And her dad too.

I was quite moved by Ines´s story. And I love the moral of the story....It is when we communicate with each other, good things happen.

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