The wit is *always* the thing, my queen, no matter where it emanates from. You, for instance, are witty even when you mean to be cross. That's beautiful.

- Domdaniel? Wasn't he an Irish fairy?
- No, that's Oscar Wilde.
- What happened to him?
- He came to a sad end.

<It's the Arts> Hmm ... you're giving me ideas for arts-themed chess problems. Godot - nothing happens, twice. Murder in the Cathedral - King orders Knights to whack fishy Bishop ("Will no-one rid me of this turbot-like priest?") ...

R.I.P.

Very well chosen tracks in memorium.

Two versions: one song.

Anybody who doesn't like "Art Rock" is crazy.

There's possible diplomatic action against the Irish Government in the offing, but <The Woodman> has supplied evidence in support of your theory, so the picture's a bit muddled.

BTW are you familiar with the very, very fine British Horror story "Ripe Stilton"?

It's a must for fans of Iconographical Catholic Horror Stories.

I can't remember who wrote it. I read it when I was 10 or something.

I can remember the whole story in detail however.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

You better watch it buster!!

F is for Fischer and Frogspawn, and Fritz
And Father Ted's Sister, the one with the ... zits.
G is for genius and gorgeous and god
and Gerry McCarthy who must be quite odd.

H is for Hannibal's h-file attack
I is for Ireland, which he did not sack.

J is for jewels and jinni and Jess
K is for Kasparov, he's Mr Chess
Though Karpov and Kramnik and Ko might say 'nyet'
L is for 'Let 'em lurk in toilet'

M is for macho, and muscular <mack>

There was an old man in Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket
His daughter, named Nan
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

heh...

If you and JFQ want to trade innocent limericks, there are plenty of websites you can use for that.

Examples;

http://www.wimpy-limericks.org

http://www.soft_pillock.ca

http://www.Kids-A-OK!.com

Quote from the Irish version of the <Who Do You Think You Are?> TV franchise, which traces the ancestry of celebs (whatever they are).

TV news veteran Charlie Bird (no relation to H.E. Bird the 1.f4 guy -- maybe) knew his grandfather lived in Bermuda, but that was all. The show's makers tracked down a stellar lineage of Royal Navy Birds, including one who served with Nelson at the Battle of the Nile.

So Charlie asks a Naval historian if that's important, and is told: "There are admirals who'd break their arms for ancestors like that ... you're well connected."

In <hommage> I played 1.f4 against GNU 5 (a popular turkey shoot when I don't want to be humiliated by Fritz) and the beast played 1...e5. I won anyway, after accidentally transposing to a King's Gambit.

People would be niece to him if he cried 'uncle' occasionally.

Just saying.

As for the girls, I'm told he offers them parts in movies. That's so 20th century it's sad.

Everyone knows that you should ask a girl up to see your etchings.

Of course I wouldn't dream of playing in anything but the top section. I may be the bottom seed, though ...

Sounds like you lads will be hoisting a few pints at the <Galway Chess Festival of the Stars> soon?

Sounds like a lot of fun, I'd surely like to join you.

Although you seem to be doing well as phsycially separate entities.

Heh-- <Daneil Ilya Kevorkian> the <MAN from never says U.N.C.L.E>

Yes, the benighted <Royal Navy> likes to tell about <SINK THE BISMARCK>, but they don't mention much when <Otto Kretschmer> sailed his U-Boat into <Scapa Flow> and torpedoed and sank three British Ships of the Line, including the <Flagship>: The Royal Oak.

(never mention this at a veteran's drinking hall in London)

Everyone else has forgotten. I imagine that the conversation in the kinds of pubs I used to frequent would be extolling the virtues of the rough and ready <Wayne Rooney> over that Hair-gelled tanned Ponce <Christiano Ronaldo>, winner of the <Golden Boot> and sure to be <European Footballer of the year>.

In <Bobby Charlton's> day, when a Wog won that honor, you could be sure he didn't play for an English club.

Well at least <Ronaldo> doesn't pretend to be humble like <Becks>.

Ok I forgot what I was saying again.

<f- what the hell - 4> is a fine move in many openings. Black hates it when White plays f4.

But people mature. At least I've *heard* of people maturing. Like stilton, rilly.

Have you read the Nelson-era seafaring novels of Patrick O'Brian? No relation to Flann, since both are pseudonyms.

I haven't read any but people say they're good. And Pynchon has a joke about a Midshipman O'Brian in Mason & Dixon.

Damn good pint!

(ehh - point... We'll need the replay)