Keene Rating to Stone conversion chart

AHAHAHAHAHAAA
A AAHHHHHHHH

That's what I type when I'm helpless with laughter, such as right now...

ahhhhhh

Poor Penguin- and I know your jest is in good heart because I know you respect him. So do I- I've been watching his superb commentary on the old BBC "Chess TV" series, almost all of which is now posted on youtube.

Ok look- if it matters to you as a language, idiom, and meme conaiseurrrr:

1. Possibly 2.5 people at CG.com have even seen the "word" <lulz>.

2. You're still <doin it rong>. You know the meaning of that meme, but not the grammatical niceties (or more properly rudeities) of how to use it in a sentence.

You can't just say it as a substitute for "lol".

So you won't see it posted as "lulz" by itself.

It needs to be in a phrase.

As in, "I did it for the lulz".

Interestingly, it can also be used in a verb-pairing.

It depends, too, on what 'it' is. Somebody who put "I did it for the lulz" in a suicide note would, besides being an idiot, be in breach of Aldiss's Law ("You can't write a suicide note to somebody you don't know").

Of course this law predates the Nutterweb, where nobody 'knows' anyone.

Anyhoo, I don't know you, but you seem nice. Eh, lol.

The theory that everyone else is "doing it wrong" usually makes more sense.

I lived next door to one once. He talked to astronauts while waving his antenna. And our TV spoke in strange voices.

Bzxxxxbzzzzbzzz.

Goodnight, Korea.

You've hit it square- the "doin it rong" meme doesn't actually mean "you are doing it wrong."

It's meant to be ironic, it's meant to allude to the precise point you just made in your last post. The kids are fully aware that nobody ever is "doing it right," hence the humor in the meme.

These kids may be as mean as rabid badgers, but they are far from stupid.

I'll fill you in on more bit of crucial information that nobody has cared about since 2002, related to your post on suicide.

<Anon Kids> never post the word "suicide" on a chat board. They substitute it with either <an hero> or <doin the rite thing>.

Regarding <Aldiss Law>, you're correct yet again.

The kids are aware of this law even if they don't know what it actually refers to.

That is, they are fully aware of the idiocy and futility of posting a real suicide note on the internet.

Not one of them believes these notes are ever real, with the exception of the ones that can be proven through external reliable sources, or <sauce> as they call that.

You can't teach an old dog new tricks, but you can play old tricks on a dog, and the dumb mutts fall for them every time.

Larf? I was nearly audible.

The *Audible Society*, a lobby group for Talking Birds of America, would like to disassociate itself from this post.

Remember "hip" means "in the know" which requires actual reading, not to mention living.

Reminds me of a rare bon mot I saw once on the chat board in "Social Lounge" on <Yahoo Chess>, which I believe to be the actual a__hole of the internet:

"Shut up until you're forty."

Luckily, you can forever chuckle to the Norwegian Blue, all the webkidz know the memes from Monty Python.

It was always a minority thing, even when academic tomes about the 'meme machine' began to appear. Now, finally, prolly too late to *mean* anything, it catches on among the *mobility*.

But you can expect The Number Madness to return.

Wasn't that the first one of all?

I think Dawkins may have rushed out *his* version whilst the musical was still at the chemist's.

If it's any consolation, the <Anon kids> are just as mad as you about "meme" going mainstream.

Although I doubt they're aware of its history.

<Webkidz Internets history> only starts in 2002, and it keeps getting erased and rewritten, depending on who is mad at who about something or other.

Just be sure to refer to it as "maths," as opposed to "math."

What is a 'Frogspawn'?

- This is. The forum is named after The Frog's Pawn, thought by some to mean the move 1...e6. But we tolerate people who play other first moves, apart from the clearly demented 1...e5 crowd.

Is 1...e5 *never* good?

- It's a reasonable response to Bird's Opening, 1.f4. The typical 'Birder' would like to play a Dutch Defence in reverse, but 1...e5 - aka From's Gambit - forces him to win a pawn instead.

Who's this 'him'?

- Very good. Chessplayers come in all available genders, and she who hesitates is toast. Statistically, Frogspawn is more popular with CG's leading female persons than *almost* anywhere. Naturally, they're drawn to George Hatfeild Gossip in large numbers, but that's nature, innit.

Are you always like this - jokey and buoyant and fun?

- As a matter of fact I am, old thing, because life's so miserable that I feel it's one's duty to try and be cheerful and keep spirits up.

What?

- OK, you got me. The previous answer is a quote from David Niven, as reported by Anthony Quayle, who starred with him in The Memes of Navarone. It says here.

What, where, who?

- In fact, this whole FAQ nonsense was just an excuse to shoehorn the Niven quote in.

Are you a Birder?

Therefore the English-English contraction of 'mathematics', viz, 'maths', will continue as the norm on The Frogspawn Stylesheet.

At one point, Houska and Gordon had three pawns each. She somehow reduced it to 3-vs-1, reaching this position:

click for larger view

Where Rxf7 is a draw due to the stalemate trap ...Rxh5+. Instead ...

58.Re8 Kh7 59.Re3 Kh6 60.Rf3 Rb5 61.Rf5 Rb4 62.Rg5! Rf4 63.Re5 Ra4 64.Re8 Kh7 65.Kg5 Ra8

click for larger view

Of course 66.Rxa8?? is stalemate, but after 66.Re7 Ra5+ 67.Kf4 Kh6 the pawn can finally be taken. 68.Rxf7 Ra4+ 69.Kf5 Rf4+!? 70.Ke5 Rxg4, White wins.

There would be many more stalemate threats, but Houska prevailed. Great stuff.

[to the tune of 'Delilah']

Anonymous 11/04/03(Sun)05:22 No.4
>>3
<Yeah... I know. But I still can't help but feel disgusted at the rabid exporting of what was our culture, the destruction of all the creativity and originality we had replaced by "u mad" "u jelly" memes, people wearing meme t-shirts and pretending like they're part of something special and unique when in reality they missed it by half a decade.">

Another school of thought points to internet geeks in 1840s New York. Or people very like internet geeks, who found deliberate misspellings hilarious, and wrote 'Orl Korekt' on walls.

A subtype of this holds that they were really using graffiti as political commentary, supporting Old Kinderhook. I can't remember which politician that was - Van Buren, maybe?

Bad spellings *were* a big meme in 19th century America. Linguistic barbarisms were linked, for comedic purposes, with recent immigrants (aka 'emigrants') from Ireland and Italy.

This was a society with a political gang called the Know Nothings. And proud of it.

Yet another theory claims that the first Japanese tourist to visit Ireland said something in his own language to a woman named Kay, and the phrase "Okay so, Kay?" became popular as a result.

There is no word for 'yes' in the Irish language, which explains why 'okay' caught on. Previously, one had to answer a question by repeating it as a statement. You'd think *somebody* might have noticed this lack, in 2500 years of Celtic speakers repeating verbs, but no:

- Are you going out?
- I am going out.

- Is your name Bill?
- My name is Bill (which is why I had to leave Buffalo, NY, but that's another story), but my parents named me William, the guys in the Irish Pub call me Liam, and Beat poets call me Willy the Pun, okay?

- Sure, uh, what does 'okay' mean?
- It's a Gaelic name, originally O'Ceith. They changed the spelling when they Ummigrated to Oklahoma and met Ronny Howard's Grandpa.

Okay, man?

I also have some original (1972) copies of Oz - which apparently go for $500 each on ebay - and *nearly* all the first 100 copies of The Face. And some early copies of Wired. Even a few chess zines.

Each zine defined a generation. For a while, I wanted to publish one like that - my best effort was named Zilch and lasted 4 issues (numbered 1, 2, 3, 5, to confuse people).

The special police Teen Bedroom Squad had to be flown 1000 miles from London.

Also, 'urban' is ambiguous. In music, it means 'Black or pretending to be'. In ancient Rome, it meant 'city slicker'. There was even a Pope Urban, who musta been some dude - he adopted a name meaning Daddy City-boy. Bet his Gregorian Raps were way out there, man.

Did you know 'man' is back, man? It started in the countryside, where somebody found some original hippies, still in the original wrappers (loon pants and ponchos).

Rural is the new urban.

Urban Dictionary is fail.

I do my research in the bowels of the internets where you see and hear things no human being could possibly tolerate.

Example, I just got on a "third level" secret board that stems ultimately from 4-chan.

In it are posts such as

"<Lurk Moar> has posted the wrong story"

Followed by

"shhh that's what we want."

You find "known websites" that have moved and are now re-direct scams.

Most of the real underground sites have URLs consisting only of numbers and you have to type them in manually- no links to them.

If you really want the straight dope on <Anon Kidz> internets history, and where all this stuff *really* started, you must avoid all the handy pop culture encyclopedia-style sites that come up on a Google search-

<Encyclopedia Dramatica>

<Oh! Internet>

<Lurk Moar>

<Urban Dictionary>