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May-20-12
 | | Domdaniel: <The Connection Machine> ... in the 2001 film Zoolander, directed by and starring Ben Stiller, our hero is a leading male model enmeshed in a Manchurian Candidate-style assassination plot. When he hears the song 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood, he is programmed to kill the Prime Minister of Malaysia. As one does. Anyhow, in the climactic finale, Mugatu (a bad guy) attempts to kill the Prime Minister himself, but Derek (Zoolander, our hero) stops him by unleashing his ultimate model look, "Magnum", that stuns everyone. Yes, it's true. Male supermodels have a superpower, the Magnum Force aka Carlsen Charge, which stuns everyone within range. Stout leather shoes, eau de cologne, and a moustache (to earth the force, obviously!) may help to offset the effects. |
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| May-20-12 | | Memethecat: So who's interested in buying a 25% share of CG.com, for $50,000, & turning it into a xxx pawn site? |
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| May-20-12 | | frogbert: dom, as gelfand demonstrates as we speak, it's never too late. maybe world champion is aiming a bit high (even the senior wc event has a decent level and multiple gms), but irish champion, county champion, highest rated old fart in the performing arts, irish coffee (house style) champion or flurriest fide-rated fanatic french follower must all be titles within reach - of an open mind in an osmotic body. (no, i haven't been drinking, but i'd better start shortly.) life begins at 40 and continues at 50. let's dom-inate the youngsters! [my pun(ch) line.] |
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May-21-12
| | Domdaniel: <Meme> --- <in buying a 25% share of CG.com, for $50,000, & turning it into a xxx pawn site?> Shh, don't give them ideas. Not that they probably haven't had those ideas before, but even so. *New Chessgames Features* COMING SOON! include ...
- Bashing the Bishop!
- Ending Explorer!
- King Dom of the Blind!
- Pawns: Hard, Soft or Frogs?
- God Shave the Queen!
- 1001 Knights in Arabia!
- Castles in the Air ...
"There's gonna be some changes made..." |
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| May-21-12 | | frogbert: in other news, gelfand ran into a big bender... blunder today. |
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May-21-12
| | Domdaniel: We could do worse. Imagine if they turned it into a sports site, and the original hardcore chess kibitzers were outnumbered 1000-1 by tiddley-wink "wink-tiddlers" ("I say, is this an unlicensed pawnshop? Where are your dangling golden balls?"). Or Fly Fisherpersons? "Haven't seen a cast like that since the heyday of Trout Fishing in America Shorty. See the way his implied curve was more a Catenary than a Parabola? Only the real chain-mail casters do that now ..." And there are other sports ... shinty, shinto, shingling, hurling, sheep-shearing, drag-racing (with motors), drag-racing (without motors, 1500 meters in stays and corsets), taikonautistry and yuhangyuan, symmetrical dentistry, push-ha'penny, association football, rounders, boules, person-throwing (popular in remote hill-villages where generations of inbreeding have reduced the population to two basic types: burly muscular dim-wiited 'throwers' and smaller, lighter, nimbler (but not much smarter) 'projectiles') ... oh, we've had 'em all here. I prefer the chess crowd. They're not any smarter than the rest, but they *think* they are. |
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| May-21-12 | | Memethecat: Hilarious! We already have a few:
Openings Explorer.
Full Members Area.
For stranger preferences: Log out! Ooh |
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May-21-12
| | Domdaniel: Ehh, but you can log out *anywhere*, can't you?
If you have that kind of logarithm, I suppose.
Must be a bit like <tossing the caber>. |
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| May-21-12 | | Memethecat: <Where are your dangling golden balls?> I knowed it was a mistake to fill-in that questionnaire. In these close-knit-family villages, is it preferable to be tosser or tossed? |
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| May-21-12 | | mworld: for some, logging out at cg.com instantly grants more content,sometimes of the biblical proportion, or at the very least a caricature wearing a bib. |
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May-22-12
| | Domdaniel: Innaresting ... I've distrusted 'biblical proportions' ever since the good book informed me that the circumference of a circular vessel was three times its diameter. No need for messy approximations of pi, like 3.14159265... But if we check out the building of Solomon's Temple, particularly the curvaceous calculations of Hiram the Bronzing Artiste (1 Kings 7:23), we find: <And he made a molten sea, ten cubits from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, and his height was five cubits: and a line of thirty cubits did compass it round about.> There are, of course, several ways to persuade yourself of the absolute inerrancy of both Mathematics and the Bible, if you need these to be true. I don't. I'm quite fond of untruths, ackshly.
- Your Bronzing Artiste is here, your Majesty.
- Tell him to wait. We're having our Accelerated Wisdom Treatment. - *Wisdom*, Solly my man?
- Oh, get thee to a punnery. And that bronzing guy?
- Yes, my liege?
- Get him to a Tannery. |
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May-22-12
| | Domdaniel: <Meme> -- <In these close-knit-family villages, is it preferable to be tosser or tossed?> That, I guess, would depend on one's mass-to-impact ratio ... which in turn derives from terminal velocity. Or a line from Carry On Up the Khyber. The real problem is the knitting, and finding somebody to do it properly. A: My mother made me a homosexual.
B: If I gave her the wool, would she make me one too? |
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May-22-12
| | Domdaniel: Speaking of <The Wisdom of Gilbert & Solomon> ... ... does the phrase "with cat-like tread" (ie, how a copper should move when creeping up on a suspect, truncheon in hand, hello hello hello, what's all this 'ere then?) translate into Dutch as <met mogelijk stappen> ...? Possibly not. |
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| May-25-12 | | Memethecat: Hiram, O great architect, master builder, tell me how you made the tadpole! or show us a snazzy handshake. Wasn't he bludgeoned to death by his assistants? conspiracy theorists still debate why, but it was obviously past pay day & was holding out on the lads, happens all the time. |
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| May-25-12 | | Memethecat: <We're having our Accelerated Wisdom Treatment> Does this mean you've read about the benefits Mono-Atomic-Gold? I read a book by a respected historian a few years ago, cant remember his name, he reckoned Egyptians & other ancients where snorting it! This helped them levitate & enter other dimensions (as it does). A lot of it was linked to a middle east archaeological dig from the 20s, where they found this mysterious white powder(M.A.G). He also talks about modern day experiments, heat it up & the weight changes, repeat & the weight is less than zero (hence levitation). Haha, just googled it & you can buy the stuff! & they say coke is over rated. |
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May-25-12
| | Domdaniel: <Meme> But of course coke is overrated - any rating at all would be too high. The only known chemical substance which actually improved the 'flavour' (using the term loosely) of caramelized carbonated sugar-water - by removing it. Circa 1904, I think. I used to agree with Mr Burroughs that this FDA ruling - aka "taking the cocaine out of coca-cola" - was a retrograde step, an erosion of old freedoms to bring medication under the control of Big Government and the Military-Pharmaceutical Complex ... But I've changed my mind. I now think of cocaine as a chemical for turning human beings into Americans. You know they way they believe that their opinions actually *matter*, and should be broadcast as loudly and frequently as possible? Of course, there isn't 100% overlap between the behavior of habitual Americans and habitual cocaine users. It's quite *possible* to be one and not the other. Just look at Sigmund Freud and Sherlock Holmes. Sagen die Gelehrten. |
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May-25-12
| | Domdaniel: <Meme> So, ah, you *googled* "White powder with negative mass", right? It's a scam. They'll give you a pickup address in a nearby gaslaxy and say you'll have to arrange your own shipping. |
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May-28-12
 | | OhioChessFan: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/... I hate talented people |
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May-28-12
| | OhioChessFan: Gaslaxy sounds like a dreadful medicine they added to coke. |
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| May-28-12 | | hms123: <OCF>
Yeah, what's his chess rating?
Besides, if he's so smart, why ain't he rich?
Yours,
A. Murrican |
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May-28-12
| | Domdaniel: < Gaslaxy sounds like a dreadful medicine they added to coke.> Oops.
It's gaslaxative, man.
Not to be confused with a terrible song by 1960s folkie Donovan, called 'The Inter-galactic Laxative'. |
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May-28-12
| | Domdaniel: Fascinating other *news* items in that Huffpost link. Miami cops shoot naked face-eating cannibal. Mermaid gives birth. Canadian study shows that people who go with 'gut feelings' are less inclined to be religious. All quasi-human life is there. |
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| May-28-12 | | frogbert: it's been one week since last time i left any electronic ink here... hms123 and dom, forgot about the team game already? ;o) |
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May-29-12
| | Domdaniel: <frogbt> It's not *exactly* forgetting, more a lurch towards passivity. Which is technically risky, because if I lurch in that general direction too often somebody could have me classified as 'dead'. Which I'm not, currently, subjectively, in my own opinion. |
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| May-29-12 | | hms123: <frogbert> I am paying pretty close attention, but haven't had much to add since some of my team-mates are doing a fabulous job. ;-) I will jump back in at some point soon. |
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