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Feb-08-12
 | | OhioChessFan: <Wannabe> if you are confused, you should know <whiteshark> has me on ignore so doesn't realize who you were responding to. |
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Feb-08-12
 | | WannaBe: < OhioChessFan: The local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. A local volunteer called to solicit his donation, saying "our research shows that even though your annual income is over a $1-million, you do not give one penny to charity! Wouldn't you like to give back to your community through The United Way?"
The lawyer thinks for a moment and says: "First, did your research show that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and has huge medical bills far beyond her ability to pay?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, "Uh, no."
"Secondly, that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?" The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology but is cut off. "Thirdly, that my sister's husband died in a dreadful traffic accident", the lawyers voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children?" The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says simply, "I had no idea." The lawyer then says"...and if I don't give any money to THEM, why should I give any to you?"> |
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Aug-31-12
 | | perfidious: Good to see Lawyer returned to chess! We met twice in 1983-84, then he disappeared for the most part and I don't remember seeing him again before leaving Boston in 1989.
Nice, quiet guy. |
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Aug-31-12
 | | HeMateMe: Is this a guy, or a newspaper for ambulance chasers? |
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| Aug-31-12 | | andrewjsacks: I once beat him--and he sued me! |
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| Mar-05-13 | | Abdel Irada: <andrewjsacks: I once beat him--and he sued me!> In all fairness, the tire iron *was* a bit much. |
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Mar-05-13
| | OhioChessFan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKbY... |
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Mar-05-13
| | perfidious: <Abdel Irada>: Don't blame him; Lawyer is probably bigger than <andrew>; I remember him being about 6'2". Times played on the team from Boston Latin that won the 1982 National High School championship (http://www.nystar.com/chesscenter/h...), with Sandeep Joshi as first board, who won the individual title. |
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| Mar-05-13 | | TheFocus: OK, I can't resist a lawyer joke (Hell, I work for enough of them). Why don't sharks ever bite lawyers?
Professional courtesy. |
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Mar-05-13
| | HeMateMe: Time is not on your side. |
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Jan-07-14
 | | Domdaniel: Send Lawyer, Gunn & David Money |
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Jan-20-14
| | perfidious: While perusing the USCF website, came across a player bearing the lovely surname of Hardtimes. http://www.uschess.org/component/op... |
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Mar-12-14
| | OhioChessFan: <A Pittsburgh lawyer's online ad showing smiling robbers, drug dealers and prostitutes flashing thumbs up and thanking him for getting them off the hook has garnered tens of thousands of views and drawn fire from a local bar association.> http://www.aol.com/article/2014/03/... |
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Mar-12-14
| | perfidious: Lawyer's the man for that--better contact the Boylston Chess Club if all else fails! |
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Mar-28-14
| | OhioChessFan: <Judge Admits To Being A 'Dirty Old Man' In Post About How Women Lawyers Dress> http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/... |
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Jan-25-15
| | OhioChessFan: You know you need a new lawyer when:
1. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway. 2. He tells you that his last good case was "Budweiser." 3. When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other. 4. He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."
5. During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy. 6. He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger."
7. A prison guard is shaving your head.
8. Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot. 9. He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger.
10. He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table. 11. He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said ..." 12. He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra. 13. Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?" 14. Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers. 15. The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM." 16. Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever." 17. He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs." |
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| Jul-10-15 | | dumbgai: <5. During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.> I'm guessing this is a 90s joke. Get with the times! |
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Jul-10-15
| | WannaBe: 18. When the judge calls for a sidebar your lawyer brings out that fifth of whiskey and ask the bailiff to go and get a can of coke. |
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Apr-30-16
| | OhioChessFan: https://thechive.files.wordpress.co... |
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| Apr-30-16 | | zanzibar: <OCF> can't be real, but it's rich nonetheless. |
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Apr-30-16
 | | AylerKupp: Question: What is the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? Answer: One is a bottom dwelling scumsucker, the other one is a fish. |
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| Apr-30-16 | | zanzibar: Briefs or ????
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiE...
Great movie (and music by Duke Ellington):
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052561/
The judge, who is great in the movie, isn't listed on IMDB's credits first page: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0919583/... He's Jack Welsh, and was a real-life attorney, best known for being the army lawyer who, during the McCarthy UnAmerican Hearings, famously said... <"Fred Fisher is a young man who is starting what looks to be a brilliant career with us. Little did I dream that you could be so reckless, and so cruel, as to do an injury to that lad. Have you no sense of decency, sir; at long last, have you left no sense of decency?"> So, not all lawyers are bad. And this one has this great opening statement in the movie: <Judge Weaver: One judge is quite like another. The only differences may be in the state of their digestions or their proclivities for sleeping on the bench. For myself, I can digest pig iron. And while I might appear to doze occasionally, you will find that I am easily awakened, particularly if shaken gently by a good lawyer with a nice point of law. > |
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May-01-16
| | HeMateMe: I think I could beat him--Inability to perform! |
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| May-01-16 | | zanzibar: <HMM> a bodacious claim, Lawyer is one of the most consistent performers around: http://www.metrowestchess.org/Compe... |
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| May-01-16 | | RookFile: Very good at blitz chess. Probably played him a dozen times, he wins without mercy. |
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