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| May-25-07 | | achieve: <Dom> I got a phonecall this morning *Tring* (Well, more like a siren)
- "Hello.."
Boy - "Good morning sir!"
Me - "Morning, son."
Boy - "You are very lucky, sir, you've been chosen by our computer to have a 98% winning chance in our lottery!" Me - "Sorry, but I don't *do* lotteries."
Boy - "But why not sir!"
Me - "Didn't I just tell you?"
Boy - "But our Computer has chosen you!"
Me - "Then why not ask your computer?"
- silence for 3 seconds -
Me - "Can I hang up now?"
Boy - "UHHH, but you are chosen by our..." and I smacked down the phone in disgust. *Chosen* by *Our* Computer...
For some reason I wanted to share that with you, Dom. P.S. Still a bit shaky shortly after the incident..
And I translated it for convenience so you wouldn't be bothered by the vertaling, yourself. ( Learning *proper* Dutch takes time). |
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May-25-07
 | | jessicafischerqueen: <Niels>
Never answer the phone!
People lived for a coupla hundred thousand years just fine without phones. Now Internet, that's different.
It's not noisy!!
Jess of the going to bed now. |
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| May-25-07 | | achieve: <Never answer the phone!> Dear <Jess>, my problem was not with the "phone" itself. sigh
Saves lives ("somebody call an ambulance!") too, you know. But you're right, there is a flip side, as well.
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| May-25-07 | | Eyal: <Niels> <Me - "Can I hang up now?"> That seems to confirm something I've been suspecting for a while - that you're a much nicer person than myself. I would probably hang up the phone straight after hearing "98% winning chance in our lottery!" Come to think of it, that would make for a less well-constructed anecdote as well. |
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| May-25-07 | | achieve: <That seems to confirm something I've been suspecting for a while - that you're a much nicer person than myself.> <Eyal> You're too kind! =P |
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May-25-07
| | jessicafischerqueen: Or, you can just call them right back and try to sell THEM something. Or, you can ask to speak to their manager, saying you are interested in the product. If you get someone "higher up" appear even more interested and ask for someone even more higher up, till you get as high as you can. Then, keep them on the phone as long as you can asking many, many questions about the "free offer." Then say "I'll have to think about it and can you get back to them." If they give you a contact number, use a reverse phone directory to find out where the call came from. Then go to the place, find the most expensive car there, pry open the hubcaps ad fill them with dead fish then put the hubcaps back on. Or, pretend you can barely understand <Dutch> and repeatedly ask for them to repeat what they said, until they go insane. Jesster |
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| May-25-07 | | Eyal: Or, you can follow Seinfeld:
TEL: Hi, would you be interested in switching over to TMI long distance service? JERRY: Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later. TEL: Uh, I'm sorry we're not allowed to do that.
JERRY: Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home. TEL: No.
JERRY: Well now you know how I feel. <Hangs up> |
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May-25-07
| | jessicafischerqueen: heh
g'day, g'day
choke, gasp |
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| May-25-07 | | mack: Erratum:
In light of the following passage from Roald Dahl's Fantastic Mr Fox, I would like to say that I have plenty of badger medicine in my house: <Badger and the Smallest Fox peered into the half-darkness. As their eyes became accustomed to the gloom, they began to see what looked like a whole lot of big glass jars standing upon shelves around the walls. They went closer. They were jars. There were hundreds of them, and upon each one was written the word CIDER.The Smallest Fox leaped high in the air. ‘Oh, Dad!’ he cried out. ‘Look what we’ve found! It’s cider!’
‘Ex-actly,’ said Mr.Fox.
‘Tremendous!’ shouted Badger.
‘Bean’s Secret Cider Cellar,’ said Mr.Fox. ‘But go carefully, my dears. Don’t make a noise. This cellar is right underneath the farmhouse itself.’ ‘Cider,’ said Badger, ‘is especially good for Badgers. We take it as medicine – one large glass three times a day with meals and another at bedtime.’> |
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| May-25-07 | | achieve: <Then go to the place, find the most expensive car there, pry open the hubcaps ad fill them with dead fish then put the hubcaps back on.> <Jess>, excuse me but LOLLING is all I can do right now.. A lovely lady has just moved in next door and I'm over the moon.. The "pretend to barely know Dutch" works both ways Btw Go get Elixer if you can..
Your play has been top notch! |
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May-25-07
| | jessicafischerqueen: LOL thanks <Niels>. I keep leaving pieces <en prise> and he refuses to take them. I believe that I will offer him yet a third piece now, just checking the viability by staring at the FEN until my eyes fall out. GOOD MORNING/EVENING EVERYONE!!!
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May-25-07
| | jessicafischerqueen: <Mack>: cross-cultural notes. You know in <Canada> they have these "houses" where the public can go in and buy as much <badger medicine> as they want!! Also, when people from the <Emerald Isles + Ireland> say <OTB>, isn't it a bit confusing? Isn't an <OTB> an "Off Track Betting" parlor, or "Offy"? Or is an "offy" an "off license pub?"
Jess of the has read way too many VIZ Magazines. |
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| May-25-07 | | achieve: <I believe that I will offer him yet a third piece now, just checking the viability by staring at the FEN until my eyes fall out.> I heard it here first! Stay on the ball!
You heard it here first.
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May-25-07
| | jessicafischerqueen: heh.
<Niels> I believe I have a <kill move> already, now I'm on my wooden board working it out. It involves multiple pins and discovered attacks, and letting him take whatever pieces he feels like. Might take awhile to check it though.
I made the last move quickly without really doing a lot of calculation, really more of an instinct move. Now I gots to be careful methink. |
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May-25-07
| | jessicafischerqueen: Dam I just have to say I like a position where my rooks are on e and d files and the enemy rooks are on a and h files. Just saying. |
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| May-25-07 | | achieve: <Might take awhile to check it though.> <Jess> At least take the while to check it.. It's correspondence, after all here.. |
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May-25-07
| | jessicafischerqueen: <Niels> I'm checking my face off here, no worries. I am excited, however. I believe I have a MURDEROUS candidate move here, just checking potential refutations of it at the moment. |
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May-25-07
| | jessicafischerqueen: btw my third game with <Samikd>, so far, is following the exact move order of my first ever Correspondence Game with <Shropshire>: a game in which I believe I resigned on move 8. Hoping to improve on that result!! |
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| May-25-07 | | WBP: <Dom> I'm hoping that right now, wherever you are, your rooks are on the d and e files. |
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May-26-07
| | jessicafischerqueen: <Dom>
I found the REAL chess methadone!!!
Or, rather, <Tactics stdent> did, Check this out: May-26-07
Tacticstudent: <<Huh... hello dude! long time no see... I'm pretty guilty... I got hooked by a MMORPG game (Tibia) and i simply didn't care for chess anymore. But now I'm back, and no MMORPG will hook me anymore [=^D>> |
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| May-27-07 | | mack: Oi froggies, there's a French in Adams-Shirov. Fancy some real-time yickety-yack? |
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| May-28-07 | | WBP: <Dom> You've left us again! How can this site possibly hope to survive without your guidance and leadership? It's a night like this that I like to build a nice fire in the fireplace, fix myself a cognac, slip on a pair of the wife's bra and panties, and...well. See what your absense hath wrought? |
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| May-29-07 | | achieve: <Dom> you were at the bottom of the recent chessforums kibbing page so I took action and decided to do something about it. Where are you?
In Paris, innerviewing a lovely lady?
Hang tough! |
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May-30-07
| | jessicafischerqueen: <Dom> you'll be pleased to know that directly upon your departure, all hell broke loose at CG.com. Coincidence?
Hope you're having a blast, can't wait to see you again. Jefferson Davies |
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| May-31-07 | | twinlark: <Dom> Just dropping in to water the plants. Can't have your forum falling off the edge of the world. |
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