<Deffi>

Photo-- heh....

HAHAHAHhahahHAHAH

Makes me think of my one and only innovation to chess theory, which <Dom> promptly pointed out had already been invented but here it is again anyways.

1.e4 e6
2. RESIGN.

The story goes that Blackburne was giving a simul, playing 1.e4 and mopping up with gambits - The King's G., The Evans G., even his own Blackburne Shilling Gambit (a dubious mating trap which he used to win shillings with ... at 1/20th of a pound sterling, a shilling was not to be fneezed at.

Anyhoo ... some white-bearded oldster threatened to spoil the gambit fun by playing 1...e6 -- and the dastardly Milner-Barry Gambit (Advance Variation, double pawn sac by White) hadn't been invented yet.

So Blackburne clutched his brow in mock horror. Reeled backwards in 'shock' and gasped "I resign".

And the wrinkly held him to it. Showing the low cunning of which Empire was built, not taught on the playing fields of Eton but picked up haphazardly in the school of life.

Nowadays, that'd be the Secondary Modern of Life. If you wanna trade Costello lines ... there are an awful lot of good ones, aren't there?

But I'm listening to Blood on the Tracks now. It's true: we are idiots, babe.

-- "Bobby Fischer was the greatest, dude, everyone else sucks!"

-- "LOL, you suck dude, have you never heard of Gary Kasparov he'd cream Fischer blindfolded anyday dude LMAO ROFL"

-- I'm gonna complan about you to chessgames under Rule 2.3 dude!!

-- "Stop that!! you two, we should be discussing 12.Bc5 in the <Yugoslav> line of the King's Indian Defense"

-- Jugoslavie is not there now I thank

-- Yugslavea sucked so much even Clinton bombed it hahhah!!

-- "I'm from India, and I am resenting those Indian Defences even though the games are surpassingly wondrous"

-- "Say what Dude? I'm a cowboy myself and the only good Injun is a checkmated Injun".

Sigh.

Hmm. The sad thing is that this is isn't dumb enough. IMOTB.

No reference to actual Indian persons intended, of course. If there was a King's Slovenian Defence or a Queen's Hawaiian, I'd use that. Actually, there *is* a Queen's Indonesian, isn't there? A kinda QID with ...Ba6 and b6-b5, I think. Oh, never mind ...

Can't be *that* difficult, can it? See yez all later. *Do* leave messages after the bleep...

R-r-ring.

Click. "Well, hello. I don't actually seem to be, like, *here* at the moment, which is confusing. Maybe you should leave a message, drag me back from whatever recursive cyber-navel-verse I fell into. Ta." *click*

Bleep.

<mack> has the 'brolly'. We still use <anoraks> in Ireland, though I prefer a leather jacket and trilby. It doesn't keep the rain off, but I look cool even when sodden. Or maybe just ridiculous.

- Look Ma, a damp <hippie>!

Pip's social-climbing existential dilemma recapitulates the Oxford movement of the 19th century, especially Anglican 'intellectuals' who found solace in Rome because they preferred the frocks and got high on incense.

Meanwhile, on Dover Beach, Matthew Arnold noticed that the tide of faith had gone out. What nobody knew then was that when it finally came back in it would be carrying a Koran, a Book of Mormon, and Hubbard's Dianetics.

But Dickens knew how the wind was blowing. Pip's chum Herbert 'Centre' Pocket is the first Agnostic in fiction, about 40 years before Huxley coined the word.

Hi <Dom>!! Good luck on your film adventure. Another merciless sweep across the local peasantry, no doubt.

BTW, I'm guessing you didn't notice this part of my previous post?

<which <<<Dom>>> promptly pointed out had already been invented but here it is again anyways.>

Not only did you already supply your emendation, the first time you did it you put in a bunch of game links from CG.com database with the EXACT opening and others joined in as well.

However-- always a pleasure to read your posts, even the "repeats."

I've "repeated" many, many posts myself. I feel it makes for "continutiy" and is in no way a sign of senility.

But don't go by me, as I"m Barking Mad.

OK fair enough but I still maintain that THIS opening is MY novelty:

1.e4 e5
2.Nf3 d6
3.RESIGN.

heh

Stupid Philidor

Dunno ... there was one called *Duck and Cover* -- not a dish in a fancy restaurant, but a wholly spurious protection routine.

When the nuclear flash goes off nearby you *duck* under a desk or table. Then, when the fallout starts, you *cover* windows etc with paper and hide under the stairs with your water and food cans. If you really want to die slowly and excruciatingly.

An excellent adult comicbook/ graphic novel, Where the Wind Blows by Raymond Briggs, showed a middle-aged couple following official instructions right to the end.

I've seen B/W 1950s footage of cheerful schoolkids raising the *cover* of their classroom desks and *ducking* behind them.

And there was another suggestion. Something like, spread newspaper on the floor, two metres by two. Lie in the middle of it. When you hear the explosion, curl into a foetal position. And kiss your ass goodbye ...

BTW, I *really* liked the movie 'In Bruges' -- Euro sensibility plus dark Irish wit meets early Tarantino (when he was good). The writer/director, Martin McDonagh has done some brilliant plays -- violently satirizing the romantic rural element in Irish theatre. This is his first film - with the great Brendan Gleeson and the (for once) excellent Colin Farrell. I recommend it highly.

But there were only five people in the cinema. One of them sat next to me and started talking to himself loudly. So I moved away.

A former girlfriend of mine, under similar circumstances, loudly said "Lo! I am She-Ra! I will eat your balls!" -- oddly enough, it was the guy who moved away that time.

Anyway, it wasn't so much a mistake as a <strong misreading>.

And it's refreshing to have my outsize ego steamrolled from time to time. I might turn into an intellectual snob otherwise.

Don't forget <Dr. Who>!

Duck and cover, mate- good advice in many situations, not just <nuclear war>.

BTW have you read John Kennedy Toole's <A Confederacy of Dunces>?

I regard it to be the funniest novel I ever read. Laugh out loud funny.

My favorite character is the black janitor, who has an <idee fixe> that at any moment the sky will be filled with <Nuclea Bums>, as he calls them.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED READING.

Toole, despondent that no one would publish his novel, (and probably about other things as well), killed himself before it was published.

His Moms shopped it around to Universities and finally <Walker Percy> read it and promptly pronounced it the best American comedic novel since <Adventures of Huckleberry Finn> (IE- American comedy is "tough minded")- See Leslie Fiedler's VERY fine work <Love and Death in the American Novel> for confirmation.

Anyhoo, upon publication, <A Confederacy of Dunces> rocketed to the top of the <New York Times Bestseller> list and remained there for a long time.

I vote <1.e4> for the upcoming <World v. Domdaniel> Correspondence game.

We could, uh, go bowling before dinner, or something. Whatever that is.

There's a sport called <bowling> -- it rhymes with howling and yowling -- which is played only on country roads in West Cork, about 50 miles from where I am at the moment. It uses heavy iron balls. A bit like golf, with no clubs, no greens, no fairways, no courses, no holes, no flags, and iron balls.

Oh, and it's also played somewhere like West Virginia, where a bunch of demobbed Johnny Rebs from West Cork found themselves at a loose end with some small cannonballs after the civil war. Lacking actual guns, they decided to throw them.

Throw rhymes with 'bow'. Heh.

Whatever dinner is. I already explained bowling as I understand it.

I might have a chance to finally see Leonard Cohen play live this year, btw. I wanted to see him in the 70s, but they wouldn't let me out of school. Later, when I was in university, I got as far as buying a ticket, and wound up in hospital on the night -- I finally gave my ticket to a nurse.