Just curious... I'm on the "left coast" of Canada. So far we haven't detached and fallen into the Pacific, but scientists cheerily predict this will happen at any moment.

The <fault> in question stretches north past Alaska...

If California goes, we go too...

The <splunge> script is right here. Go to <Eyal> to see the <Michael Ellis> script...

♪spammity spam, spammity spam♫

But I need to illustrate the Excelsior theme, and I know no finer example than a game I played way back in, aargh, 1977. Collectors of multi-queen games may also be amused.

I had recently got my first-ever rating of about 1650, and done OK in a few 'major' (sub-1800) tournaments. I'd also improved dramatically, mainly due to joining a university chess club (UCD) that had by far the strongest team in Ireland. Last I heard from the alma mater they had no chess club at all, let alone a strong one - but I was there at a good time, meaning lots of blitz games against 2200-2400 opposition.

So I entered this Major event somewhere in the West of Ireland. On arrival I was told that my rating was now over 1800, so I was being bounced up to the top section. And paired to play a member of the Irish Olympiad team in Round 1. I'd been reading a magazine on the journey west which featured one of his very violent and efficient wins from the previous Olympiad, all 17 moves thereof.

So I played the English Opening, screwed it up horribly, got a position that was effectively lost, and then suddenly saw a tiny chink of light. Excelsior! Could I dare to hope...

Excelsior! – (from a poem of that name?) – is the name given to the theme where a pair of opposing pawns each go on a capturing spree, sometimes right up to the point of promotion. In my example they keep going even after that…

White: DD (1800-ish)
Black: MK (2300-ish)
Ireland, 1977.

1.c4 e5 2.Nc3 Nf6 3.g3 c6 4.Bg2 d5 5.cxd5 cxd5 6.d3 Be7 7.Nf3 Nc6 8.O-O O-O 9.a3 Be6 10.b4 a6 11.Bb2 Rc8 12.Rc1 Nd7

Black would have saved himself a lot of bother by going to e8 instead. The idea in either case is …f5, with a very impressive centre. I start to panic. Having played the opening too passively, I start thinking I’m already lost – which isn’t the case, although Black already has the advantage.

13.h4(?!)

I’ve never really understood why I played this. It weakens the kingside and makes it easier for Black to plant a piece on g4. It’s true that h4 emerged in the 1980s in such positions as a kind of anti-positional attacking move, as played by Nigel Short and others. But such ideas were not remotely on my mind. I suspect that I’d miscounted the files (a, b, c, d, e, f, h?) or was trying to prevent …f5 by magnetism.

13…f5

Which clearly didn’t work.
Now I’m really worried. Time to lash out in desperation.

14.e4

This should lose. If Black plays 14…fxe4 15.dxe4 d4 then White is in real trouble. But I’d seen a long sequence of captures with a semi-trap at the end, and hoped he might go for it. Since I was obviously a pushover, why not aim to push me over with some style?

14…d4?!

And off we go. Excelsior!

15.exf5 dxc3
16.fxe6 cxb2
17.exd7 bxc1(Q)

Author Tim Harding, playing alongside, had finished early. I borrowed his Queens with an apologetic smile.

18.dxc8(Q)

Somewhere along the way, White saw that his original intention of playing 18…Qxd1 here wasn’t so hot. Of course it wins at once if I try to keep up the semi-symmetry with 19.Qxd8?, when 19…Qxf1+ is a killer. But White has an excellent alternative in 19.Qe6+, emerging with an extra pawn and a reasonable position. It still astonishes me that I'd seen 19.Qe6+ when I played 14.e4, and my opponent missed it until too late. After some thought he elected to keep the extra queens on.

18…Qxa3

And the capturing continues.

19.Qxb7 Nxb4
20.Nxe5
Walking anxiously to and fro, I bumped into Harding again. “It could be a draw if the Queens go on capturing all the other pieces!”, he joked. Weak smile. I returned to the board and realized I was winning.

20…Bc5
21.Qg4 Qf6 22.Qc4+
1-0

Black is quite lost.

click for larger view

That's 'OO as in Doctor 'Oo, innit?

And maybe somebody could explain the anatomy - or history, even - of Excelsior. Whitman and Thurber? I seem to recall a comic verse about a young man with a bicycle. Percy French?

Very nice tho, <dominator>. Great fun to play through, all credit to you. And <Eyal> so quick with the analysis. His brain might be a chess engine!!!

<5:15> yes, well spotted <Quadrophenia>

<Excelsior> Appears in <Leaves of Grass> (final version) and in a Thurber cartoon from the <New Yorker>

<Eyal> <Last night's Blitz> Good gravy no, LOL. I'm a train wreck at Blitz.

I have played three games since last summer that I am proud of. Beat a 1700+ playing white against Accelerated Dragon, Beat a 1500+ playing White in a Scotch (trapped his Queen the bastard), and Drew a 1500+ playing black KID.

I should like to hand my assignments in on time, but I'm too busy playing a consultation game and bouncing about hyperintellectual and hyperactive fora run by two men whose boots you are not fit to shine, sirs.