The lips remain round and pointy, throughout.

Darn, I should have known that <JFQ>'s Forum is where the BIG party is! <grin>

Anyway, just a quick word about Alekhine... I *luved* the two books on his games and the way he'd write about his strategical plans (especially in late middlegames and endgames). Also, his masterful analysis in the 1924 New York Chess Tournament all of which I studied in my teenage years. I sure learned one "H" of a lot! <sheepish grin> ;)

Oh and Niels - I left you a little note in my post back to <brankat> - <PS: Note to <achieve> - Niels, I haven't forgotten the e-mail promised.> just so you know!

OK - keep up the good work. Rally on gang!

My Best, - Mal

PS: Trivia question: In the Powell & Pressburger classic "Stairway to Heaven" (aka: "A Matter of Life and Death" 1946) which Alekhine chess book was featured? Was it "My Best Games of Chess 1908-1923" or "1924-1937"? A 'Gold Star' and numerous brownie points awarded to the winner! :))

The original movie poster: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...

Hint: It was the actor Marius Goring as Conductor 71 who presented this chess book to our hero at the end of the movie. Which one was it?

Lookit these morons! They shouldn't even be allowed in the same room as a chess set!:

Interestingly, <Gila Monster Ripa> and <Regis Aquarium Philter> are actually only 4 feet tall.

Making the proud chess champion in the photo only <2 feet tall>!

And they say people grow big in America because of the Bic Macks and Twinkies and such.

Not so!

In <Bourgeois> mythology, as per the theory of <Roland Barthes>, things like "chess" are fetishized.

Chess stands for <ultra logical intelligence>, in no way different than the pop culture figure of <Mr, Spock>.

Similarly, "Einstein's brain" stands for genius.

"James Dean" stands for cool.

This process, of course, diminishes and degrades the "object" that is fetishized.

In plain truth, Einstein's brain was an organ. Einstein was a human being. And he did some really retarded things in his time, like all other humans.

Spock was a Vulcan- a complex figure full of love. Except he claimed he couldn't feel love.

Advertising and pop culture are evil.

The statement I just typed is <in itself> an example of the kind of bourgeois fetishization I was just criticizing. Pop culture is not evil.

However, <Kelly Ripa and Regis Philbin> ARE in fact evil.

I hope that's cleared a few things up.

Now for some current events. As a USAmerican, I am feeling doomed lately. Them walls aclosin' in.

Eat a little kimchee for me, lovely.

And actually that reminds me of conversations one overhears in DC whilst listening to the homeys in DuPont circle: "JFK was a @#$%ING @#$%*@!!!"

Heh-- that's some "colorful Prose" there--

So I'd say yes of course write a book.

I guarantee you I'd buy it- and even read it.

Your right <JFQ>, he needs this payday to feed his kids and he is good at the commentary. Between that and the odd Coca-Cola commercial he has few other offers for work.

Mr. Pickles does indeed have a microchip, but it only contains her name and address so she can still play chess without fear of being labeled a cheat.

<Instructive point> for today-- (I"m far too embarrassed to post the position)--

When you have a big positional advantage and a big attack brewing with multiple threats, be sure to STILL ask yourself this question EVERY TIME YOUR OPPONENT MAKES A MOVE--

<"Why did he do that"?>

Good grief- I failed to keep asking this question and he made a move I immediately dismissed, pressing on with my "big attack."

Unfortunately it was a very clever move on his part that required prophylaxis on my part.

I ignroed his move and you betcha the very next turn he had a vicious double pin on my Queen-Rook with his bishop and I spent the rest of the game hanging on by fingernails.

By miracle, he missed at least five game winning moves the rest of the game and I managed to give up material to break the pin and outplay him tactically in the late middle game to score the point.

What <should have been> a very very pleasant-- even winning-- middlegame position for me turned into a nightmare due to my <NOT REMEMBERING THE MOVE CHECKLIST>....

1. Look at EVERY capture/check for both sides.

2. Make sure your stuff isn't en prise

3. Make sure you are not ignoring a tactical threat (combination of some kind)

4. Make sure your "Plan" cannot be easily refuted

5. AFTER EVERY MOVE BY YOUR OPPONENT, no matter how "silly" or "ugly" or "time wasting" it might SEEM--

ask yourself "Why did he do that"?

Good gravy I've got a massive headache.

Luckily (and that's the word for it)

I still got the point.

Heh. <1,c4> I can't stop playing it.

<Spaniel of Heaven>

thank you!

Yes, I had in fact gone through that game several times, but I followed your orders anyway.

<Yasser Arafat> is amazing with the <English>. I find it almost impossible to guess his next move, particularly in this game.

Humorously, when I read <GM JH Donner> explaining that <Euwe> is pronounced "Hoo Vay", I believed him until <Niels> set me straight.

<Donner> was making a joke at the expense of us Non-Dutch heathens!!!

Well he's a funny guy I'll tell you.

Great, great, book though:

<Woodman> this is an excellent question and deserves a full and concrete reply.

Where to start?

OK first some general observations.

There ARE a number of <Yahoo> players between 1500-2000 who are willing to play long time controls-- <10 minutes per move>, or my favorite <2 hours each on the virutal Game Board Clock>.

However, anyone over 2000 on <Yahoo> is ONLY playing Blitz or Bullet-- including every single person in the so-called "Advanced lounge".

Which I think is more accurately termed the "Cheater's Lounge".

I have only ever managed to get 3 games in my life on <Yahoo> with someone over 2000. The one I managed to win (by miracle) was made into a <youtube video> by <Kingscrusher>, but Kingscrusher mistakenly reports that the game was a 10 minute Blitz game.

It wasn't, and more, the <2000> rated guy made an early unsound sacrifice and played really poorly after.

So- regardless of what one might think of Internet chess in general-- <Yahoo> is a poor substitute for a Chess Club. Really poor.

Especially for someone of your playing strength, which I gather is at least a 100 points higher than mine at present.

OK here are the step by step concrete instructions:

Follow these and you should be able to get a game in the 1500-2000 range within 30 minutes. Maybe even right away with some luck.

I waited around half an hour today cuz I wanted to play someone over 1700

(Heh- his ID name was "Boss Hogg")

STEPS:

1. Sign in to Yahoo <STANDARD> chess.

2. Sign in to one of the rooms.

3. Click on "Options" and then the "no invitations" box.

4. Now click on this website:

http://alleykatzden.com/yahoo/chess...

This is the "backdoor" site to get into Yahoo rooms that are full.

5. Enter more rooms now from the website. Choose ONLY those rooms under the <Social> category.

Don't waste time in the <Intermediate> or <Advanced> rooms--

6. Enter 6-10 rooms- Here are the most likely rooms to have the most players in them and to have strong players who will play a long time control:

<Centipede, Frog, Ferret, Coyote, Deer, Camel, Hippo>.

Also, be sure to always sign in to the three most popular rooms <Alligator, Amoeba, Ant>-- they are mostly filled with beginners, but a bunch of high raters troll these rooms for games as well. Plus they are always full of players.

7. Once you are in 6-10 rooms, Create a table for each one. Sit as the White or Black player, depending on your whim. Set the game clock for each table before you set up your table in the next room. If you just don't do anything, the default time control will be 10 minutes a move. I set the clock for <2 hours each>-- you do this by typing <120> for the Table Clock on each board.

Then after you have 10 games tables set up with you sitting at them, in 10 different rooms, Click furiously back and forth checking each one to see if a high rater has sat at your table.

When you find one, click <start play> and hopefully he will as well.

OK- when you are checking the tables and a low rater sits, be sure to <boot him> from the table straight off so he doesn't "clog it up."

You should be able to get a 1500- 1600 player within a few minutes using this method.

For 1700-2000, you may have to keep clicking for up to half an hour or more.

It's bothersome, but it's worth it of course to get a good game.

I actually kind of like this part because it's a bit like spinning a gambling wheel at one of those cheesy county fairs.

If you need any clarification, just ask.

Good luck!!

<malthrope: So, this is where everyone is... ~lol~

Darn, I should have known that <JFQ>'s Forum is where the BIG party is! <grin>

Anyway, just a quick word about Alekhine... I *luved* the two books on his games and the way he'd write about his strategical plans (especially in late middlegames and endgames). Also, his masterful analysis in the 1924 New York Chess Tournament all of which I studied in my teenage years. I sure learned one "H" of a lot! <sheepish grin> ;)

Oh and Niels - I left you a little note in my post back to <brankat> - <PS: Note to <achieve> - Niels, I haven't forgotten the e-mail promised.> just so you know!

OK - keep up the good work. Rally on gang!

My Best, - Mal

PS: Trivia question: In the Powell & Pressburger classic "Stairway to Heaven" (aka: "A Matter of Life and Death" 1946) which Alekhine chess book was featured? Was it "My Best Games of Chess 1908-1923" or "1924-1937"? A 'Gold Star' and numerous brownie points awarded to the winner! :))

The original movie poster:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...

Anyone who doesn't adore every single thing about chess has a screw loose.

This statement is obviously insane, but I"m sticking by it.

On a more serious/reflective note, one of the most revealing passages from <JH Donner's> The King says something like---

"Chess will never repay you for the fascination it holds over you."

Given <Donner's> career, the pathos and bathos of this point is really quite moving.

I suppose the cautionary idea is that one should pay attention to non-chess related factors in life as well.

This is where the <Chess Club> comes in handy. And real tournaments with real people.

This is my dream.

<Korea> is the most chessless country in the universe.

I am only playing on yahoo while I wait to get a new hard-drive for my PC (that is why I have no chess engines as well right now) but I can see from your post I was doing it all wrong.

I was just going into the advanced or intermediate rooms, opening one table and sitting there waiting.

Every time I placed an 'advert' in the room's chat window it would get spammed into oblivion by some 'bot' linking to a web-cam of some-sort.

I waited an hour one time to no avail, then went and played some poker on www.partypoker.com...heh at least you can always get a game there!

Incidentally, seeing as you beat 1800+ opposition I somewhat doubt I am <100 points better>, more like 200 points weaker heh heh

I would never play on yahoo by choice, it is full of cheaters and people who walk away early from games.

The chessbase server scans for computer assistance and things, auto-saves games etc.. it is sooo much better.

I have had nothing but trouble with my <Fritz> and <chessbase>.

There's something wrong with my computer/connection etc---

Not sure what even.

It won't let me establish a <chessbase> user name and it keeps making my computer make a really BINK noise and then crashing it.

The last time I tried to use it my keyboard "changed" so none of the keys corresponded to English letters any more. I had to use <system restore> to recover it.

Also, mainly, I'm a <Yahoo> veteran and I know it inside out.

Until I get out of Korea into a country with a Chess Club, I'm happy to be able to train against players in the 1700-2000 range on <Yahoo>.

It's not like it's easy to beat them-- for sure not.

I think I play better in a club though.

I had a very good night my last time at my Chess Club in <Canada>, a year and a half ago almost.

Heh-- I even won the 5/0 Blitz tourney that night, finally beating the Club's "top stick" for the first time ever-- by moving instantaeously and his flag fell just before he would have checkmated me.

WHOPPAAPAA

Oddly, I'm totally useless at Blitz on the Internet.

<The Internet is for Chess Training.>

Humans are for chess games.

When I installed it, everything changed to German(?!)

What version do you have? I solved the problem by going to the www.chessbase.com website and downloading the latest software patch, then wiping everything Fritz related and re-installing with the patch.

The 'BINK' noise sounds like you need to install more drivers for your sound-card, (or maybe a sound card lol)

That sounds like a pretty memorable win over your club-king! How come every chess-club has one eh? A dominant player, an alpha male who nobody can touch!

Maybe it is just the rules of the jungle. When a better player comes along they will fight it out and the old-king will have to leave forever. (I have never seen this myself, but I hear it is true...just like the elephants graveyard)

In fact I was the only woman.

Why don't more women play chess?