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< Earlier Kibitzing · PAGE 81 OF 86 ·
Later Kibitzing> |
Jul-22-25
 | | offramp:
<YES!!>
Today I saw my first Christmas advert.
It was on Channel 4. It was for a huge artificial Xmas tree. I claim the record. |
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Jul-22-25
| | offramp: I want to tell you about a guy....
I was up at the bar buying a beer. That's a good idea!
At the bar, a man of my age had a great idea: me and he could <go back to his place> and 🍆🍑😩👉👌💦εつ▄█▀█●. I bought my drink and left that conversation.
The guy at the bar, I saw him again in that pub. He was always densely unshaved.
This guy had <ROARING> testerone. He wanted ● █▀█▄ Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ لں͞ in any direction. His job....was a ..... Bingo caller. |
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Aug-03-25
| | offramp: Here's a good one:
Famous food/drink that MUST have 4 ingredients.
I can't formulate my concept properly - but if I give three examples you'll instantly see what I am talking about: <German beer>: water, hops, yeast, malt.🥴🍻 <Spanish tortilla>: eggs, potatoes, onions, olive oil.🥘 <Khash>: cow's hooves, garlic, lavash, pickles. 𝓜𝓸𝓸✩‧₊˚🐄 |
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Aug-03-25
| | offramp: On Saturday I went with the kids to Oxfordshire. Near Bicester. We went to <Amyland>. It's a pretty low-key fantasy park, a <journey through the life of Amy Winehouse>. The Ghost Train was <BLOODY> scary, and it lasted thirty minutes, and it only cost 5p. I hooped a goldfish - in fact I hooped 3 fish and the kids hooped about 6 goldfish each. It's only a penny a go. In fact, the prices are very old-fashioned.
The hot dogs were 10p.
I bought a firkin of <Parfum de Vinhouse>, smells like Satan's arse. Cheap, though. It was 50p. The roller-coaster was the best part of <Amyland>. It's huge! It is <rickety> à outrance. It has its own entrance: a giant head of Amy Winehouse, with her mouth wide open. On the whole day I spent £10. Bargain! |
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| Aug-03-25 | | thegoodanarchist: < offramp: Here's a good one:
Famous food/drink that MUST have 4 ingredients.> The famous cocktail called the "Negroni":
1 part Gin
1 part sweet Vermouth
1 part Campari
1~2 dashes of aromatic bitters. (I believe you old-world folks call them "aeromatic bitters", but I won't swear it in court.) <<>Give your entry before 31/7/2025.> Sorry I'm late.
<So here are the questions:𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝟯𝟭/𝟭𝟮/𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱 1. Is Vladimir Putin the leader of Russia?
2. Is Gukesh the World Chess Champion?
3. Are the 2 Beatles still alive (Paul/Ringo)?
4. Did Jannik Sinner win the US Open at Tennis?
5. Did Nodirbek Abdusattorov win the <FIDE Grand Swiss Tournament> [I believe it will be in Uz]?
6. Is Fabiano Caruana second on the FIDE Elo rating list?> YYYNNY |
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Aug-04-25
| | offramp: <thegoodanarchist: < offramp: Here's a good one: Famous food/drink that MUST have 4 ingredients.>
The famous cocktail called the "Negroni":
1 part Gin
1 part sweet Vermouth
1 part Campari
1~2 dashes of aromatic bitters. (I believe you old-world folks call them "aeromatic bitters", but I won't swear it in court.) <<>Give your entry before 31/7/2025.> Sorry I'm late....>
I have had a few negronis when I was on a cheap cruise. They are a <BEAUTIFUL> drink.
I had NO IDEA the ingredients. From the colour I supposed that it was Campari... Thanks for your entry; it should be interesting. |
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Aug-05-25
| | offramp: Any English drinkers out there?
If you were a drinker in the 1970s, '80s, '90s, what was your prefer drink? I'll tell you.
It was <LIGHT & BITTER>. That drink disappeared almost overnight.
In fact, you can't buy a bottle of light ale.
I <DID> drink <light & bitter>, but not often.
I remember lots of lager, e.g. Fosters. |
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Aug-15-25
| | offramp: I speak French so we don't use "inverted commas". We use chevrons. |
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Aug-18-25
| | offramp: Soho hasn't changed much since the days when Michael Caine warned the mafia about London reprisals. Most of the Italian and Spanish delicatessens had whole jambons hanging from their ceilings. Lots of them. Nowadays jambons are security tagged from the moment the pigs back legs are hacked off, they are stamped with a wax seal then branded (they are dead) with a trademark, finally given a unique traceable number. That's because of the possibility of counterfeiting. The legs hangings from the ceiling get better and better ( I don't mean that the hogs will recover, I mean that the legs improve with age ). <THE PROBLEM IS THAT> these legs are nowadays valuable. Scarce, protected, desirable, portable and transportable through customs without a problem. The owners of delicatessens now own guns and machetes, and they have employed burly security guards. They use facial recognition. What a bunch of bastards. |
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Aug-18-25
| | offramp: Wow - I just did something that has never done before in human history: <"...possibility of counterfeiting. The legs hangings from the ceiling..."> YES! I have done it! I am the <Louis Pasteur> of orthography!! |
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Aug-23-25
| | offramp: I <do> like the Bible. It's a bit wacky. The <minor prophets> books have some excellent poetry. <AS FOR PROPHECY>, they are scoring 0.0000/100. Has any prophecy ever come right? Even <Edgar Cayce> is batting 00.0001/100. |
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Aug-25-25
| | offramp: Here's a thing about chili peppers...
Most of my cooking includes chilis. I use chili powder, or dried chilis, or fresh standard chilis. I love chilis, and I use them in cooking; okay.
The next level up is <Scotch bonnets>, which are certainly used in African/Caribbean cooking. To me, they are the upper limit...They are <only <just> tolerable AND pleasant>. <𝗦𝗢 𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘 𝗜𝗦 𝗠𝗬 𝗣𝗢𝗜𝗡𝗧> why do people use Carolina Reapers and Beyond to the Infinite?
Isn't that a pointless ordeal? |
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Aug-26-25
| | offramp: Here are two programmes that I <loved> when I was a very young boy, but which have dated badly. 1. <Batman> in color. It's pretty funny, occasionally. If you watched a whole box set you'd go mental. 2. <Hogan's Heroes>. I liked Richard Dawson, he's the Family Feud guy. The plots are almost identical, show after show.
The Hogan leader died in a grisly way; murdered. How gauche. |
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Aug-29-25
| | offramp: Am I getting older? YES. My son is now 24, and he is bloody fit, and he is in gainfully employment, using his aerospace engineering M. Eng.
I wanted a gherkin but couldn't get the lid off. I used two labour-saving gadgets from AliExpress, old standbys! I tried again with the teaspoon under the lid.
Later that day I asked my son to do it. He tried everything but we had to give up. I used the final, guaranteed method: hammer a sharp knife though the lid. That worked. But have lids changed? I believe that <things> have got much harder to open! |
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Aug-31-25
| | offramp: I am writing a screenplay.
<THE PLOT TO ASSASSINATE GROUCHO> Ronald Reagan had worked with Groucho Marx in 1959 (i.e. The Incredible Jewel Robbery). On October 19, 1983, Maurice Bishop, the President of Grenada, was overthrown and murdered by one of his colleagues. Several days later, Reagan ordered American forces to invade Grenada. Reagan cited a regional threat posed by a Soviet-Cuban military build-up. The Sandinastas wanted to A) Kill Groucho Marx and B) Have sex with Ronald Reagan. The hit-men are awfully inept, with hilarious consequences. |
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Sep-05-25
| | offramp: Pun title:
<Ye Cannae Shove Yer Granny Aff The Bus> |
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Sep-05-25
| | offramp: The <GREAT> Les Dawson acted very well as an old woman in a <Playhouse> version of a play by <Roberto Cossa>, who I think is Argentinian (what a great country!). The play is called <NONA>. In Scotland, the version is called <Yer Granny>, based on the phrase, <you can't shove your grandmother off the bus>. |
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Sep-05-25
| | offramp: I saw <Bohemian Rhapsody>, the film, and I really liked it. At about the same time, <Rocket Man> came out. That's about Elton John. WELL, who is <next>? Perhaps David Bowie should have a film about him. The <Bowiebio>!! I would put my money on <LED ZEPPELIN>. The story of that group would be raucous! After <LZ>, it would be great to see the film of the story of the Norwegian Black Metal Bands, like <MAYHEM>. |
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| Sep-05-25 | | stone free or die: <off> music biopics are actually "a thing": https://www.cinemablend.com/movies/... . |
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Sep-05-25
| | offramp: That list, that User: stone free or die posted is surprising in a good way. These biopics might be very good! |
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Sep-10-25
| | offramp: Here's <another> good one from User: stone free or die.
chessgames.com chessforum (kibitz #42492)
<stone free or die: ...<A little rule of thumb when it comes to women:
<When they're cryin' They're lyin'>>> I worked in a job enforcing the law. I encountered men and women who liked to use the following rubrick/kubrick:
CULPRIT: <I swear to God - I swear on my children's souls - I did NOT do that. I swear on my grandmother's <LIFE!!> that I did not do that....> ME: <So what is that in your coat pocket?> CULPRIT: <Oh yeah. It's a fair cop.> |
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Sep-10-25
| | offramp: On August 1st, I promised to <NOT> go over 500lb. It's 10th September and I'm now over 600lb. |
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Sep-16-25
| | offramp: If you've seen a carthorse at a country fair then you've probably wondered, "Why are their eyes so close together?" I can check carthorses' vision by standing directly behind them and I hold up vision charts. If they get the letter right, they kick out. |
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Sep-18-25
| | offramp: <Red thunder-clouds, borne on the wings of the midnight whirlwind, floated, at fits, athwart the crimson-coloured orbit of the moon; the rising fierceness of the blast sighed through the stunted shrubs, which, bending before its violence, inclined towards the rocks whereon they grew: over the blackened expanse of heaven, at intervals, was spread the blue lightning's flash; it played upon the granite heights, and, with momentary brilliancy, disclosed the terrific scenery of the Alps, whose gigantic and misshapen summits, reddened by the transitory moon-beam, were crossed by black fleeting fragments of the tempest-clouds. The rain, in big drops, began to descend, and the thunder-peals, with louder and more deafening crash, to shake the zenith, till the long-protracted war, echoing from cavern to cavern, died, in indistinct murmurs, amidst the far-extended chain of mountains.>
P Shelley
<The solemn tones of an old cathedral clock have announced midnight - the
air is thick and heavy - a strange, death like stillness pervades all
nature. Like the ominous calm which precedes some more than usually
terrific outbreak of the elements, they seem to have paused even in
their ordinary fluctuations, to gather a terrific strength for the great
effort. A faint peal of thunder now comes from far off. Like a signal
gun for the battle of the winds to begin, it appeared to awaken them
from their lethargy, and one awful, warring hurricane swept over a whole
city, producing more devastation in the four or five minutes it lasted,
than would a half century of ordinary phenomena.> Varney the Vampyre |
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Sep-19-25
| | offramp: Tw
o great short stories:
<The Castle> by Franz Kafka. <The Ordeal of Gilbert Pinfold> by Evelyn Waugh. Both are very funny.
Kafka included a silly, pointless <shaggy dog story> The village cobbler believes that his daughter had been slighted, or possibly the other way around.
He feels that his daughter has been somehow ostracized in the village, but no one has done anything wrong.
He feels that he has to <PROVE HIS GUILT>, after <first> showing that a crime happened. |
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