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offramp
Member since Aug-16-03 · Last seen Jan-18-26
Some chess books that I think are outstanding:

1. <Fundamental Chess Endgames>, by Müller & Lamprecht, reprinted 2020. 400pp+, £25.

2. <Secrets of Practical Chess>, by Dr Nunn. 256pp (the USUAL 256pp!, i.e. the usual 2^8). £20.

3. <Capablanca's Best Chess Endings>, Irving Chernev's best work. 300pp. £15.

4. <107 Great Chess Battles 1939-1945>, written by Alexander Alekhine, but edited by Edward Winter. 256pp, £15.

5 (a) <Petrosian Year by Year Volume 1 (1942-1962)>, and - Karolyi & Gyozalyan, 484pp.
(b) <Petrosian Year by Year Volume 2 (1963-1984)> - Karolyi & Gyozalyan, 516pp.
They are £34 each. I bought one, then a few months later, the other volume.
They are available in Kindle format!

6. <The Queen's Gambit Accepted: A Sharp and Sound Response to 1. d4> by Chris Ward.
Ward wrote a superb book about the QGD, many years ago. I think this is useful for a book about the QGA. A total antidote to 1. d4, 2. c4.

And now some total clinkers. NOT those well-known garbage chess books.

The following are really bad chess books.

1. <Capablanca: A Compendium of Games, Notes, Articles, Correspondence, Illustrations and Other Rare Archival Materials on the Cuban Chess Genius Jose Raul Capablanca, 1888-1942> by Edward Winter. 360pp. c. £35. The title is the best thing.

2. <Larsen: Move by Move> - Cyrus Lakdawala
Paperback, 488pp.

3. <Emanuel Lasker Volumes 1, 2 & 3 - Forster, Negele & Tischbierek>. £55 each.
This book is unbelievably boring and tedious. Just look through it, then forget about it.
AT THIS SAME TIME a totally superb book has just come out: <Emanuel Lasker All Games Volume 1 & 2: 1889-1940 (2 books)>, £55 for two books:
Volume 1 covers the time Lasker became World Champion and played matches against Steinitz (twice for the World Championship), Bird and Blackburne amongst others. He also took part several famous tournaments including Hastings 1895, St Petersburg 1895-96 and Nuremberg 1896.

Volume 2 covers the time Lasker played matches against Marshall, Tarrasch, Janowski, Schlechter and Capablanca for the World Championship. He also took part several famous tournaments including St Petersburg 1914, New York 1924, Moscow 1935 & 1936 and Nottingham 1936.

Hardbacks, 388 and 342 pages, Russian Chess House. A real bargain.

4. <Pal Benko : My Life, Games and Compositions>, £140. Who is the most famous chess player out of Benko and Fischer? Who published the most plush, most opulent book? Benko.

.....
Here are another 7 books:

<He received a letter from his bookseller, informing him that only seven copies had been sold, and concluding with a polite request for the balance.
Scythrop <[SKI-throp]> did not despair. <Seven copies,> he thought, <have been sold. Seven is a mystical number, and the omen is good. Let me find the seven purchasers of my seven copies, and they shall be the seven golden candlesticks with which I will illuminate the world.>.>

>> Click here to see offramp's game collections.

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   Current net-worth: 1,436 chessbucks
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   offramp has kibitzed 25224 times to chessgames   [more...]
   Jan-17-26 Tata Steel Masters (2026) (replies)
 
offramp: Round 1: Me: v The Real World. 0-1👉= 0-1👉= 1-0👉1-0✅ =👉1-0 =👉=✅ =👉=✅ 0-1👉1-0. My results have changed. Gukesh drew,
 
   Jan-17-26 offramp chessforum
 
offramp: Round 1: Me: v The Real World. 0-1👉= 0-1👉= 1-0👉1-0✅ =👉1-0 =👉=✅ =👉=✅ 0-1👉1-0. My results have changed. Gukesh drew,
 
   Jan-16-26 M Schekachikhin vs C Dolgun, 2024
 
offramp: The Caissa Hotel is on the Aegean Sea, in Ayvalik, Turkey. This game is very interesting all the way through, right from 4...Qh4!
 
   Jan-15-26 Julien Song
 
offramp: The first game is dead level. I reckon Song will win this match easily.
 
   Jan-15-26 Giri vs Niemann, 2025
 
offramp: Giri said... <"Before the game I visualized a victory against Niemann. There's this technique.... I saw myself win. Then I went a bit too far and I started thinking about who would be in my team for the Candidates' - and that's when I realized I had gone too far."
 
   Jan-15-26 Dickson (replies)
 
offramp: Someone asked, "What the dickens??" The answer is "No."
 
   Jan-15-26 S Rosenthal vs Count Isouard, 1871 (replies)
 
offramp: "Is You Is or Is You Ain't Isouard?"
 
   Jan-14-26 Keymer vs Carlsen, 2023
 
offramp: Keymer Rouge.
 
   Jan-14-26 Garry Kasparov (replies)
 
offramp: <Petrosianic>. I dislike stories about the 3rd Reich... Kasparov was expounding about Molotov and Stalin and the Germans. I could have followed the details but I <hate> checking WWII facts on Google because you get sucked into a whirlwind of right-wing horror. So I am ...
 
   Jan-14-26 J Puccini vs J P Gomez, 2015 (replies)
 
offramp: Good pun and a good game. The final move is hard-to-spot! I was expecting some hay-maker final blow, but it is a quiet move. In fact, that last move, 19. Qd2, could be a <CREEPING MOVE>. Creeping moves can only made by queens; Spassky specialised in them.
 
(replies) indicates a reply to the comment.

Ye Olde Offrampe Predicktions

Kibitzer's Corner
< Earlier Kibitzing  · PAGE 80 OF 86 ·  Later Kibitzing>
Jul-14-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: <For once, I want Eng to beat Wales. I think it'll be about 6-0.

Tomorrow, the last day of Eng v India will end up very very close: Eng will win by 2-10 runs.>

The football was 6-1.

England won the cricket by 22 runs.

Jul-15-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I've been pretty depressed all day. That is unusual for me.
There was bad news on BBC at 8am.

West Indies lost a Test to Australia. That's NOT unusual.
But Windies were all out for 27. The second-lowest ever score.🔴☄\|/

The problem is that Australians are a right pain in the neck. They are bad losers and bad winners.
They are certainly very strong in every department. 𓃮𓃮𓃮♕♛♚♔👑

Jul-15-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Two quotes that I can't remember the source

The first one is by Dick York, the husband in <Bewitched>.

He was dying with lung cancer (this is a funny story).

He was being interviewed while he is lying in an <iron lung>.

The interviewer asked him, "When did you give up smoking?"

York said, <"About ten minutes ago.">

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

This quote is from <Pol Pot>:

"What this country needs is seven or eight <Hitlers>."

[Hitler was the guy with the flatulence and a toothbrush moustache.]

Jul-15-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Have you been watching the Gi̶r̶l̶s̶' Women's Football, in Switzerland?

The timing is done by Hublot, https://www.hublot.com/

Apparently, when the quarter-finals start the referee can blow her whistle at the exactly correct moment to start the game.

She will start the game within 0.00001% of the actual correct start instant, using the moon laser beam reflector directly into her brain.

Isn't that great?

Jul-15-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: <The Wicker Man> with Edward Woodward? He plays a Scot policeman, a sergeant.

How about inserting this 10-seconds of dialogue:

Policeman: <"I am from England. I am on transfer to Scotland.">

Islander: <"Ah! That explains your accent!">

Jul-16-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I am thinking of holding a Prediction Contest. I'll give 6 statements with YES/NO replies.
This will be the preamble:

<You have to imagine our world on 31/12/2025, the last day of 2025.>

Is Vladimir Putin the leader of Russia?
̶H̶a̶s̶ ̶T̶o̶k̶y̶o̶ ̶b̶e̶e̶n̶ ̶a̶t̶t̶a̶c̶k̶e̶d̶ ̶b̶y̶ ̶m̶o̶n̶s̶t̶e̶r̶s̶?̶ Is Gukesh the World Chess Champion?
̶W̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶H̶e̶r̶r̶i̶n̶g̶b̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶S̶t̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶B̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶S̶t̶y̶l̶e̶?̶ Is P Diddy in a prison cell?
Are there 2 Beatles still alive?
......

Jul-16-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Did you know that the Mohs Scale and the Scoville Scale both start at
1.00000 Talcum Powder.
Jul-16-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Three adverts that hugely annoy me:

(1) Spanish/American adverts that have been over dubbed with English. <Calgon> is the worst offender.

(2) Adverts that are 100% AI, e.g. <Messi> goes to a pub in London and requests Walkers crisps and the whole pub is full of famous footballers of all genders.

.....

Jul-16-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: (3) Begging adverts, which want £3 a month for water to Africa. They go on and and on and on. I have a direct debit to UNESCO, so I am out of that loop.

Water to Africa, water to Africa, water to Africa, water to Africa, water to Africa. Buy a bottle, dude.

Jul-16-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Today, the chef Chris Stein was making haute cuisine in Sicily.

It was a pork dish.

At the end I thought he said it was <pigs>.

It was <figs>.

Jul-16-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp:
Is Vladimir Putin the leader of Russia?
Is Gukesh the World Chess Champion?
Are 2 Beatles still alive?
Did Jannik Sinner win the US Open at Tennis?
Did Nodirbek Abdusattorov win the <FIDE Grand Swiss Tournament> [I believe it will be in Uz]?
Is Fabiano Caruana second on the FIDE Elo rating list?
Jul-16-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I think these questions look all right.

I'll post them tomorrow evening, unless anyone has some suggestions.

Jul-18-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I am holding <𝖄𝖊 𝕺𝖑𝖉𝖊 𝕺𝖋𝖋𝖗𝖆𝖒𝖕𝖊 𝕻𝖗𝖊𝖉𝖎𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝕮𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖘𝖙>.

SIX questions that have <YES/NO> answers.

Your entry could look like this: YNYNYN.

Give your entry before 31/7/2025.

So here are the questions:

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝟯𝟭/𝟭𝟮/𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱

1. Is Vladimir Putin the leader of Russia?
2. Is Gukesh the World Chess Champion?
3. Are the 2 Beatles still alive (Paul/Ringo)?
4. Did Jannik Sinner win the US Open at Tennis?
5. Did Nodirbek Abdusattorov win the <FIDE Grand Swiss Tournament> [I believe it will be in Uz]?
6. Is Fabiano Caruana second on the FIDE Elo rating list?

Jul-18-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I love cricket. What's not to like? Well, I'll tell you what's not to like.

A cricketer pays the most for any sportsperson. Bat, helmet, gloves, box, whites, spiky shoes, thigh pads...also you need a ball!

Cricket is the <MOST> corrupt sport, even more than boxing.
To rig a cricket game is not hard: you have to bribe 3 players.
Game-fixing has been going on in cricket since 1717. Non-stop since then.

Here is another BIG problem with cricket: <being a spectator>.
If you are on the boundary you will see <nothing>, except the back of the fielder at deep mid-wicket.
The main action will happen 60 yards away, at the stumps. All you'll see is a dozen white blobs murmuring away to each other.
At a county ground the scorebox will update the score every now and then.

Cricket is much better on telly. But A DAY AT actual CRICKET is also excellent at a local match; visiting the ground stalls, meeting young players, having a few beers, some food, it's a great day out.

Jul-18-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  perfidious: <offramp>, my responses:

1.Y

2.Y

3.Y

4.Y

5.N

6.N

Jul-18-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Here are mine:

YNNNNN.

Jul-19-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: 1. Maybe
2. Maybe
3. Maybe
4. Maybe
5. Maybe
6. Maybe
Jul-19-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: YYYNNY

No copying my answers. They are ©

Jul-19-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: The biggest explosion we have had in our house was in the kitchen.

A friend gave me a <microwave egg poacher>.
He accidentally bought 2.

I followed the instructions but <something> went wrong.

The microwave door blew out most royally. I thought it was a terrorist attack on my house.

<THE INSIDE OF THE MICROWAVE> looked like a Costa Rican prison toilet (i.e. it looked bad).

I was going to throw away the microwave but I managed to clean it.

I think <that> explosion was a bit like that Beirut explosion.

Jul-19-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: So my advice is <NEVER USE A MICROWAVE EGG-POACHER>.

Ever.

Jul-19-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  Sally Simpson: 1. Is Vladimir Putin the leader of Russia? (yes - if not it may be someone who is even more bonkers, so we must be careful what we wish for.)

2. Is Gukesh the World Chess Champion? (yes, he will not have to defend his title till 2026)

3. Are the 2 Beatles still alive (Paul/Ringo) (hope so - yes)

4. Did Jannik Sinner win the US Open at Tennis?
(who cares? Abstain.)

5. Did Nodirbek Abdusattorov win the <FIDE Grand Swiss Tournament> (hope not, name too difficult to spell - I want Giri to to win - No.)

6. Is Fabiano Caruana second on the FIDE Elo rating list? (No. and if he is I shall print off my own elo list and knock him down to 3rd.)

Jul-19-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: <𝖄𝖊 𝕺𝖑𝖉𝖊 𝕺𝖋𝖋𝖗𝖆𝖒𝖕𝖊 𝕻𝖗𝖊𝖉𝖎𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝕮𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖘𝖙>

SIX questions that have <YES/NO> answers.

Your entry could look like this: YNYNYN.

Give your entry before 31/7/2025.

So here are the questions:

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝟯𝟭/𝟭𝟮/𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱

1. Is Vladimir Putin the leader of Russia?
2. Is Gukesh the World Chess Champion?
3. Are the 2 Beatles still alive (Paul/Ringo)?
4. Did Jannik Sinner win the US Open at Tennis?
5. Did Nodirbek Abdusattorov win the <FIDE Grand Swiss Tournament> [I believe it will be in Uz]?
6. Is Fabiano Caruana second on the FIDE Elo rating list?

Jul-19-25  Messiah: YYYNYN
Jul-20-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  fredthebear: FTB agreez with perfidubious, but copying a lozer who haz upped hiz game to imprudent drawz, drawz, drawz

https://www.uschess.org/msa/XtblPlr...

https://www.uschess.org/msa/XtblPlr...

https://www.uschess.org/msa/XtblPlr...

is NO WAY to be a Winner.

So, FTB will include some wishful thinking...

NYYNNN

The Deacon's Bear-Yarn
by Sam Walter Foss

When the Deacon told his bear-yarn we would gather round to hear him,

In open-mouthed expectancy to drink in all he said;

For all list'ners who drew near him could not choose but to revere him,

For an aureole of honor rested on the Deacon's head.

'Twas a tale of gore and slaughter, where the red blood flowed like water,

Such as ear had never heard of, or the heart could not conceive;

But our faith did never weaken in that bear-yarn of the Deacon—

When the Deacon told his bear-yarn we would listen and believe.

We had listened to the horse-liar and the fish-liar and the snake-liar,

But they told no tale of wonder with the Deacon's to compare;

Though their tales were dark and dire, not a tale of not a liar

Approached the truthful story of the Deacon and the bear.

'Twas a tale of awful terror, but without a shade of error;

And whereas it was impossible the Deacon could deceive,

We knew the Deacon's bear-yarn was an honest, fair, and quare yarn—

When the Deacon told his bear-yarn we would listen and believe.

When the Deacon told his bear-yarn we could hear the bone a-breaking,

And the loud reverberations of the bear's resounding growl;

We could feel the mountains shaking, and the very planet quaking,

And the air a-palpitating with the thunder of his howl.

Oh, the sanguinary, savage fierceness of the awful ravage

Of the roaring, ravening monster, heart of man cannot conceive!

But, whereas we knew the Deacon from the truth could never weaken—

When the Deacon told his bear-yarn we would listen and believe.

When the fierce bear wound his red jaws round the white neck of the Deacon,

And we heard the Deacon gurgle with a deathgasp of despair,

How our trembling knees would weaken as we gazed upon the Deacon,

And our lifted hats go flying from our perpendicular hair!

When into the mad bear's vitals—strangest of all strange recitals—

Did the Deacon plunge his right arm, with its reeking, bloody sleeve,

And tear out the bear's heart beating, as you'd tear a piece of sheeting—

When the Deacon told this bear-yarn we would listen and believe.

Fiercer, wilder, grew the contest every time we did behold it,

Wilder, fiercer, fought the Deacon, fiercer, wilder, raged the bear;

It was bloodier, more terrific, every time the Deacon told it,

Till at length there was no story w ith this bear-yarn could compare.

Bear and Deacon m ixed and mangled, gore incrusted, blood bespangled,

Dance through sanguin ary wal tzes that the m ind cannot conceive;

But there is a deathless beauty in all truth, and 'tis our duty

When the Deacon tells his bear-yarn just to listen and believe.

Jul-21-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  Troller: YYYNNN

You heard it here first.

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