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offramp
Member since Aug-16-03 · Last seen Apr-27-26
The Kindle app might have saved my life. My house was full of books. Now I am able to actually get rid of books.

I was born in Clapham, London. I am therefore a supporter of Chelsea FC. My son supports Arsenal FC.

I love travelling around Europe, by train. I try to speak in various languages by almost everyone I meet speaks English, which is a good thing.

??????

Some chess books that I think are outstanding:

1. <Fundamental Chess Endgames>, by Müller & Lamprecht, reprinted 2020. 400pp+, £25.

2. <Secrets of Practical Chess>, by Dr Nunn. 256pp (the USUAL 256pp!, i.e. the usual 2^8). £20.

3. <Capablanca's Best Chess Endings>, Irving Chernev's best work. 300pp. £15.

4. <107 Great Chess Battles 1939-1945>, written by Alexander Alekhine, but edited by Edward Winter. 256pp, £15.

5 (a) <Petrosian Year by Year Volume 1 (1942-1962)>, and - Karolyi & Gyozalyan, 484pp.
(b) <Petrosian Year by Year Volume 2 (1963-1984)> - Karolyi & Gyozalyan, 516pp.
They are £34 each. I bought one, then a few months later, the other volume.
They are available in Kindle format!

6. <The Queen's Gambit Accepted: A Sharp and Sound Response to 1. d4> by Chris Ward.
Ward wrote a superb book about the QGD, many years ago. I think this is useful for a book about the QGA. A total antidote to 1. d4, 2. c4.

And now some total clinkers. NOT those well-known garbage chess books.

The following are really bad chess books.

1. <Capablanca: A Compendium of Games, Notes, Articles, Correspondence, Illustrations and Other Rare Archival Materials on the Cuban Chess Genius Jose Raul Capablanca, 1888-1942> by Edward Winter. 360pp. c. £35. The title is the best thing.

2. <Larsen: Move by Move> - Cyrus Lakdawala
Paperback, 488pp.

3. <Emanuel Lasker Volumes 1, 2 & 3 - Forster, Negele & Tischbierek>. £55 each.
This book is unbelievably boring and tedious. Just look through it, then forget about it.
AT THIS SAME TIME a totally superb book has just come out: <Emanuel Lasker All Games Volume 1 & 2: 1889-1940 (2 books)>, £55 for two books:
Volume 1 covers the time Lasker became World Champion and played matches against Steinitz (twice for the World Championship), Bird and Blackburne amongst others. He also took part several famous tournaments including Hastings 1895, St Petersburg 1895-96 and Nuremberg 1896.

Volume 2 covers the time Lasker played matches against Marshall, Tarrasch, Janowski, Schlechter and Capablanca for the World Championship. He also took part several famous tournaments including St Petersburg 1914, New York 1924, Moscow 1935 & 1936 and Nottingham 1936.

Hardbacks, 388 and 342 pages, Russian Chess House. A real bargain.

4. <Pal Benko : My Life, Games and Compositions>, £140. Who is the most famous chess player out of Benko and Fischer? Who published the most plush, most opulent book? Benko.

.....
Here are another 7 books:

<He received a letter from his bookseller, informing him that only seven copies had been sold, and concluding with a polite request for the balance.
Scythrop <[SKI-throp]> did not despair. <Seven copies,> he thought, <have been sold. Seven is a mystical number, and the omen is good. Let me find the seven purchasers of my seven copies, and they shall be the seven golden candlesticks with which I will illuminate the world.>.>

>> Click here to see offramp's game collections.

Chessgames.com Full Member
   Current net-worth: 1,436 chessbucks
[what is this?]

   offramp has kibitzed 25960 times to chessgames   [more...]
   Apr-27-26 Chessgames - TV and Films
 
offramp: Thanks, User: Schwartz . That explains everything.
 
   Apr-27-26 A McCarthy vs L Penny, 1974
 
offramp: For the game: 💣/★★★★★★ (0 out of 6 stars) LOWEST RATING. This could be the worst game in the database at chessgames.com. This game have no redeeming qualities. To draw attention to an obviously weak player - is a bit unsporting. For the pun: ✮/★★★★★★ ...
 
   Apr-27-26 O Feldman vs Savon, 1959
 
offramp: Savon 99.44% accurate.
 
   Apr-26-26 offramp chessforum
 
offramp: Is there anyone here doesn't like honey? I mean - isn't that like raping a bee?
 
   Apr-26-26 Bobby Fischer (replies)
 
offramp: <60MG> in Uedemann Code starts, <"1. GEGO Best by test!">
 
   Apr-26-26 J Carleton vs G Pyrich, 1994 (replies)
 
offramp: <"Yeah another victory like that and we're done for, good evening folks I'll be here as king every night I'll see ya!">
 
   Apr-25-26 Aronian vs I Khamrakulova, 1993 (replies)
 
offramp: Is this the only game in chess history that is "99% tactics"? What makes this game stand out as having "99% tactics"?
 
   Apr-25-26 Viktor Komliakov (Popa)
 
offramp: <Messiah: Popa? Is that a nickname?> <Popa> is a rank in the hierarchy in the Roman Catholic Church. The rank is immediately above Cardinal and slightly lower than Jesus Christ.
 
   Apr-24-26 W Tuckett vs J G Wise, 1849
 
offramp: There's <MORE> to <COME> soon.
 
   Apr-24-26 chessgames.com chessforum (replies)
 
offramp: < User: mel gibson > I know that the Home Page is flooded with adverts. If your house has been flooded you could choose DORMEO mattresses. They have an 80% absorbent quotient. They can be used as barricades against the Apocalypse.
 
(replies) indicates a reply to the comment.

Ye Olde Offrampe Predicktions

Kibitzer's Corner
< Earlier Kibitzing  · PAGE 90 OF 90 ·  Later Kibitzing>
Apr-09-26  stone free or die: <offramp> needs a tail light all his own.
Apr-10-26
Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: Clint Black - Nothing But the Taillights

https://youtu.be/VtJWpjMAKII?si=n6N...

Apr-11-26
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: "Dear Joni Mitchell,
I bought your album as an 8-track cartridge.
I ain't gonna buy it again!..."
Apr-12-26
Premium Chessgames Member
  saffuna: <Tail-lights are the backbone of suspense movies.>

Even in "Chinatown."

Apr-13-26
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: On telly I heard a woman saying that she was a "ma-soose", to rhyme with "Dr Suess".

The profession, for a woman, is <masseuse>. It's a French word: it sounds like <MASS-ERRS>.

Here is another straightforward French term: <chaise longue>, a <long chair>. You can find a chaise longue in the lounge but they are different words.

Apr-13-26
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: There was a really good game today, in Monte Carlo: [Event "Round 2: Erdogmus, Yagiz Kaan - Topalov, Veselin"] [Site "https://lichess.org/broadcast/clash..."] [Date "2026.03.29"]
[Round "2.1"]
[White "Erdogmus, Yagiz Kaan"]
[Black "Topalov, Veselin"]
[Result "1-0"]
[WhiteElo "2687"]
[WhiteTitle "GM"]
[WhiteFideId "44599790"]
[BlackElo "2717"]
[BlackTitle "GM"]
[BlackFideId "2900084"]
[Variant "Standard"]
[ECO "D43"]
[Opening "Semi-Slav Defense: Anti-Moscow Gambit"]

Topalov plays many knife-edge games.

It was a classic! 1-0 to Erdogmus.

Apr-16-26
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp:
"My old man is a deaf, dumb spastic
Yeah he'll never get a good job
He'll never be an astronaut, or something fantastic,
Or a hitman for the Mob.

My job is to poke the holes in donuts
At carnivals, for fifteen hours a day.
I provide for him. I'd go nuts
If I ever lost my job and my pay

Because I am blind, officially a moron,
A "mental midget". I cannot stop drinking
Hooch. I am desperate to stop, but I carry on.
My life is awful. I have even stopped thinking about it."

Apr-16-26
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I am currently working on "My Old Man is Dirty Old Bastard".
Apr-16-26
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: For my whole life I believed that one man, Lee Oswald, assassinated JFK.

I know NOW that there were 14 men on the grassy knoll. The limo driver was a Secret Service agent, and he shot Kennedy, as well as the 9 people standing on the verge.

Poor John was shot 211,000,000 times. Isn't that awful? That's what aliens can do.

Apr-19-26
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Why why why does my keyboard have two <enters>?????
Apr-19-26
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: The Uncle from Man.
Apr-20-26  VerySeriousExpert: Dear Sir, good morning. Excuse me, could you rename, please, your game collection

Game Collection: Games Fred the Bear THINKS other people like ,

if it is possible and not difficult?

Apr-20-26
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: OK, I'll do it now.
Apr-20-26  VerySeriousExpert: Dear Sir, thank you! It is better, I agree.
Apr-23-26
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: What is the point of smoking bacon? We smoke bacon to preserve it and eat it over the winter. But the supermarkets say that smoked bacon lasts for one week.
Apr-23-26
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: [Event "Round 5: Einarsson, Halldor Gretar - Dahl, Fredrik A"] [Site "https://lichess.org/broadcast/fide-..."] [Date "2026.04.23"]
[Round "5.19"]
[White "Einarsson, Halldor Gretar"]
[Black "Dahl, Fredrik A"]
[Result "*"]
[WhiteElo "2173"]
[WhiteTitle "FM"]
[WhiteTeam "Iceland - Vestfirdir"]
[WhiteFideId "2300150"]
[BlackElo "2172"]
[BlackTeam "Oslo Schakselskap"]
[BlackFideId "1563300"]
[Variant "Standard"]
[ECO "A58"]
[Opening "Benko Gambit Accepted: Fully Accepted Variation"] [UTCDate "2026.04.23"]
[UTCTime "12:16:02"]
[BroadcastName "FIDE World Senior Team Championships 2026 - Senior 50+"] [BroadcastURL "https://lichess.org/broadcast/fide-..."] [GameURL "https://lichess.org/broadcast/fide-..."]

...


click for larger view

...

Apr-23-26
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: [Event "Round 5: Karlsson, Agust S - Varga, Zoltan"] [Site "https://lichess.org/broadcast/fide-..."] [Date "2026.04.23"]
[Round "5.11"]
[White "Karlsson, Agust S"]
[Black "Varga, Zoltan"]
[Result "*"]
[WhiteElo "2224"]
[WhiteTitle "FM"]
[WhiteTeam "Iceland"]
[WhiteFideId "2300419"]
[BlackElo "2312"]
[BlackTitle "GM"]
[BlackTeam "Hungary"]
[BlackFideId "700509"]
[Variant "Standard"]
[ECO "B03"]
[Opening "Alekhine Defense: Four Pawns Attack, Fianchetto Variation"] [UTCDate "2026.04.23"]
[UTCTime "12:16:02"]
[BroadcastName "FIDE World Senior Team Championships 2026 - Senior 50+"] [BroadcastURL "https://lichess.org/broadcast/fide-..."] [GameURL "https://lichess.org/broadcast/fide-..."]
Apr-24-26
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I went down the local chess shop, didn't I?

They was sellin chess medals, gold silver, bronze etc. They was only two quid a piece.

I bought ten of em, for fifteen quid.

I wore em all down the chess club.

Look at this geezer with all his medals, oh blimey oh riley. That's what they said.

I felt like Burlington Bertie!

Apr-26-26
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: 1/2

This game had an interesting ending.
[Event "Round 6: Rachels, Stuart - Horvath, Peter"] [Site "https://lichess.org/broadcast/fide-..."] [Date "2026.04.25"]
[Round "6.4"]
[White "Rachels, Stuart"]
[Black "Horvath, Peter"]
[Result "1/2-1/2"]
[WhiteElo "2446"]
[WhiteTitle "IM"]
[WhiteTeam "USA 1"]
[WhiteFideId "2000350"]
[BlackElo "2342"]
[BlackTitle "GM"]
[BlackTeam "Hungary"]
[BlackFideId "700843"]
[Variant "Standard"]
[ECO "B30"]
[Opening "Sicilian Defense: Old Sicilian"]
[UTCDate "2026.04.25"]
[UTCTime "12:15:24"]
[BroadcastName "FIDE World Senior Team Championships 2026 - Senior 50+"] [BroadcastURL "https://lichess.org/broadcast/fide-..."] [GameURL "https://lichess.org/broadcast/fide-..."]

1. e4 [%eval 0.18] [%clk 1:30:56] 1... c5 [%eval 0.32] [%clk 1:30:51] 2. Nf3 [%eval 0.2] [%clk 1:31:22] 2... Nc6 [%eval 0.3] [%clk 1:31:09] 3. Nc3 [%eval 0.19] [%clk 1:31:45] 3... e5 [%eval 0.34] [%clk 1:30:59] 4. Bc4 [%eval 0.28] [%clk 1:32:02] 4... g6 [%eval 0.4] [%clk 1:30:42] 5. d3 [%eval 0.3] [%clk 1:31:39] 5... h6 [%eval 0.42] [%clk 1:30:51] 6. a4 [%eval 0.21] [%clk 1:30:25] 6... Bg7 [%eval 0.14] [%clk 1:29:43] 7. Nd5 [%eval 0.09] [%clk 1:29:38] 7... d6 [%eval 0.17] [%clk 1:26:40] 8. c3 [%eval 0.17] [%clk 1:29:28] 8... Nge7 [%eval 0.24] [%clk 1:23:34] 9. h4 [%eval -0.12] [%clk 1:12:04] 9... Nxd5 [%eval -0.2] [%clk 1:05:44] 10. Bxd5 [%eval -0.21] [%clk 1:12:13] 10... Be6?! [%eval 0.75] Inaccuracy. ♘e7 was best. [%clk 1:01:29] 11. Bxe6 [%eval 0.83] [%clk 1:10:24] 11... fxe6 [%eval 0.71] [%clk 1:01:52] 12. h5 [%eval 0.71] [%clk 1:09:53] 12... g5 [%eval 0.6] [%clk 1:01:41] 13. Nh2 [%eval 0.43] [%clk 1:10:04] 13... O-O [%eval 0.55] [%clk 0:57:13] 14. Ng4 [%eval 0.25] [%clk 1:08:52] 14... b6 [%eval 0.36] [%clk 0:52:33] 15. g3 [%eval 0.25] [%clk 1:06:07] 15... Kh8 [%eval 0.22] [%clk 0:43:42] 16. Kf1 [%eval 0.21] [%clk 1:02:16] 16... Qe7 [%eval 0.32] [%clk 0:43:45] 17. Kg2 [%eval 0.32] [%clk 1:02:27] 17... Rad8 [%eval 0.3] [%clk 0:41:03] 18. Qe2 [%eval 0.24] [%clk 0:56:53] 18... Rd7 [%eval 0.3] [%clk 0:36:44] 19. Bd2 [%eval 0.33] [%clk 0:55:17] 19... Qe8 [%eval 0.33] [%clk 0:29:29] 20. Raf1 [%eval 0.27] [%clk 0:42:42] 20... Rdf7 [%eval 0.28] [%clk 0:29:28] 21. Qd1 [%eval 0.25] [%clk 0:42:34] 21... Ne7 [%eval 0.54] [%clk 0:27:44] 22. b4 [%eval 0.53] [%clk 0:39:12] 22... Ng8 [%eval 0.54] [%clk 0:22:17] 23. c4 [%eval 0.37] [%clk 0:33:25] 23... Nf6 [%eval 0.32] [%clk 0:20:20] 24. b5 [%eval 0.25] [%clk 0:31:01] 24... Nxg4 [%eval 0.2] [%clk 0:14:18] 25. Qxg4 [%eval 0.3] [%clk 0:31:17] 25... Rf6 [%eval 0.35] [%clk 0:13:17] 26. Qe2 [%eval 0.19] [%clk 0:26:44] 26... Qf7 [%eval 0.41] [%clk 0:09:19] 27. Be3 [%eval 0.34] [%clk 0:12:56] 27... d5 [%eval 0.42] [%clk 0:08:11] 28. a5 [%eval 0.0] [%clk 0:13:06] 28... d4 [%eval 0.0] [%clk 0:07:53] 29. Bd2 [%eval 0.0] [%clk 0:13:25] 29... Rf3 [%eval 0.0] [%clk 0:03:53] 30. Bf4 [%eval 0.0] [%clk 0:09:33] 30... Rxd3?! [%eval 0.58] Inaccuracy. g4 was best. [%clk 0:04:10] 31. Qxd3 [%eval 0.63] [%clk 0:08:39] 31... exf4 [%eval 0.61] [%clk 0:04:35] 32. axb6?! [%eval 0.0] Inaccuracy. g4 was best. [%clk 0:08:12] 32... f3+ [%eval 0.0] [%clk 0:03:56] 33. Kg1 [%eval 0.0] [%clk 0:08:26] 33... axb6 [%eval 0.0] [%clk 0:04:21] 34. Ra1 [%eval 0.0] [%clk 0:08:21] 34... Be5 [%eval 0.0] [%clk 0:03:40] 35. Kf1 [%eval 0.0] [%clk 0:06:30] 35... Qc7 [%eval 0.0] [%clk 0:03:01] 36. Ke1 [%eval 0.0] [%clk 0:04:47] 36... Bxg3 [%eval 0.0] [%clk 0:02:00] 37. fxg3 [%eval 0.0] [%clk 0:04:36] 37... Qxg3+ [%eval -0.04] [%clk 0:02:23] 38. Kd1 [%eval -0.07] [%clk 0:04:58] 38... Qg2 [%eval 0.0] [%clk 0:01:20] 39. Rf1 [%eval 0.0] [%clk 0:05:24] 39... g4 [%eval 0.0] [%clk 0:01:00] 40. e5 [%eval 0.0] [%clk 0:00:56] 40... f2?? [%eval 2.39] ♗lunder. g3 was best. [%clk 0:00:52] 41. Ra7?? [%eval 0.12] ♗lunder. ♖a3 was best. [%clk 0:26:22] 41... Qf3+?? [%eval 4.82] ♗lunder. ♖f5 was best. [%clk 0:09:30] 42. Qxf3 [%eval 4.59] [%clk 0:21:34] 42... Rxf3 [%eval 3.91] [%clk 0:09:51] 43. Ra8+?? [%eval 0.0] ♗lunder. ♖e7 was best. [%clk 0:14:15] 43... Kg7 [%eval 0.0] [%clk 0:08:59] 44. Ra7+ [%eval 0.0] [%clk 0:14:19] 44... Kh8?? [%eval 4.25] ♗lunder. ♔f8 was best. [%clk 0:08:39] 45. Ra8+?? [%eval 0.0] ♗lunder. ♖e7 was best. [%clk 0:14:13] 1/2-1/2

Apr-26-26
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: 2/2


click for larger view

Black played 29...Rf3.
White played Bf4. Black could have played ...g4, but played ...Rxd3.

Black played to completely readjust his pawn formation. He played ...Bxg3, followed by ...Qxg3, which means he was a whole rook behind, but he had some formidable passed pawns.

At the end Black was lucky to get a draw.

Apr-26-26
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Often I buy a big white cabbage and I think Wow, look at this beautiful cabbage.

It's in the fridge and I can't bear to cut in to it. It looks so perfect and round.

Apr-26-26
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: The song by ABBA, <Waterloo>. It's a great song. The Swedish/Norwegian band doesn't have a dog in this fight, does it?

Waterloo was a French v Prussians & British tussle. The Duke of Wellington said it was a bloody close affair.

I have written to the French government requesting a rematch.

Apr-26-26
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp:
"I am sorry to interrupt your booze
And I know the party only just started
But I have some very bad news.
I have just sharted.

Leave the house in an orderly way.
Return to your houses or cars.

Apr-26-26
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp:
Go to your cars, or go back to your houses
Obey the neon signs when you departed.
Use only the back door, avoiding my trousers
Because I sharted.
Apr-26-26
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Is there anyone here doesn't like honey?

I mean - isn't that like raping a bee?

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