Fourthly, it'll attract the disapproving attention of the tournament director, who will presumably advise you, "Chesscon 2 or no chesscon 2, if you don't sit down, you're forfeited."

<At this point, you should remove an item of underwear and place it on your head. Moving to chesscon 1. Now you should examine every threatening move, no matter how silly it looks. It's okay to dream about that queen sac you always wanted to play.>

On behalf of my client, <whiteshark>, I hereby advise you to <cease and desist> to avoid prosecution for copyright infringement under the provisions of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act.

Your story reminds me of another funny story regarding my brother. (Why do funny things happen to him at tournaments?)

My game ended early, so I was looking forward to a Bar-B-Q, football on the telly, beer and chess. I headed over to his board and saw he was also finished and was packing up.

"How'd you do?" I asked. He responded "I won", but with not too much enthusiasm. "You don't look too happy?" I said, and he replied, "He threw the board at me" "What?!" is all I could utter when he added "And the pieces" "Right in the middle of the playing hall?" "Yes" he said.

I said "Show me the game", so we went to a side room and set up the pieces. While we were setting up the board he elaborated, "This guy was weird. He had a fat pencil with a strip of white gauze tape wrapped around the end. Printed on the tape, in large red letters, was the word 'WAR'. After each move was recorded, he would carefully position the pencil so I could see the word 'WAR'". I replied "You're kidding me...what a nut job"

In any case, the game was an exciting affair. My brother's style is to fling all the pieces out quickly before any captures are considered. The opponents style was much the same. By move 15 or so, the board was a maze of complications. My brother struck first, sacrificing on <f7>; He followed up with an ingenious Bishop check on <e8> forcing the Black King to <f6>. Black then returned the piece and achieved some stability.

But, my brother cooly and calmly walked his d & e pawns straight up the middle of the board, both arriving side by side on the 7th rank.

I then asked "Tell me what happened when he threw the board at you"

He said "Well, once my pawns got to the 7th rank, he just stared down at the board...everything stopped...He didn't move, just stared...and so I stared too...and so we both sat staring for quite awhile"

Now, I'm on the edge of my seat asking excitedly "So, when did he throw the board at you?"

He said "I looked up and he wasn't too happy looking. Slowly he grabbed each end of the board and flung it upwards, pieces flying...a rook hit me in the forehead"

"Good god, right in the middle of the playing hall?" It was surreal, hard to believe

"Yeah, right in the hall" he said and added "The funniest part was we both came out blitzing and slamming our clocks. (Time limit was 40/2hr)

I had to laugh at the contrast of 150 serious chess players calmly and quietly moving in the opening, and over here these two guys blitzing and slamming away from the get go.

I see that you are a Premium Member now. Cool stuff! I haven't forgotten about my Rinus Award promise to you: I look forward to the polls opening for that.

Speaking of the Rinus Award, I remember <FSR> mentioning during the Anand-Gelfand WCC match that he was going to vote for <tpstar> for best post. Trust me, man: That post is funny as hell! Definitely, "Best Post of the Year" material.

I will look for it later on tonight and post it along with my solution to tomorrow's puzzle.

Typical Monday...

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I guess, white should play 31.Qe8+, and if Bf8 the black has to give up the long diagonal, and bishop's mobility will be limited. But if Kh7 32.Qxf7 and white has winning game.

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I see no reason why 37.Qxf7 cannot be played. The whole sequence looks like it could be a mild time scramble.

<Once> A tournament I played in had an unexpectedly large turnout, which led to a shortage in chairs. Before it was resolved, several contestants had to play their first round game standing up.

Monday. Quickly available mate? Nope. Quickly available simple tactic? Yup, the Knight can fork d4 and the White King, and we can replace the Knight with the Queen first.

I sometimes play blitz in the garden (really this is not a kindergarden). This garden is very famous who likes to play blitz.

I saw many times how one guy, he is very tall, played blitz standing. What is more interesting that he overplayed many strong players, and they had to give the place for next player. Sometimes I think that in such position (<standing>) when you move the pieces, they have more energy.

Yes, I was very lucky, and am very thankful.

Unfortunately, this lasts only until your legs begin to tire. Then you wish you could sit down.