Compiled by Camus

"Drawing is rather like playing chess. Your mind races ahead of time that you eventually make." — David Hockney

"Chess is all about stored pattern recognition. You are asking your brain to spot a face in the crowd that it has not seen." — Sally Simpson

"In life, as in chess, one's own pawns block one's way. A man's very wealth, ease, leisure, children, books, which should help him to win, more often checkmate him. — Charles Buxton

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style." ― Maya Angelou

"Once you say you're going to settle for second, that's what happens to you in life." ― John F. Kennedy

"I'm convinced, the way one plays chess always reflects the player's personality. If something defines his character, then it will also define his way of playing." —Vladimir Kramnik

"All of the real heroes are not storybook combat fighters either. Every single man in this Army play a vital role. Don't ever let up. Don't ever think that your job is unimportant. Every man has a job to do and he must do it. Every man is a vital link in the great chain." ― General George S. Patton, U.S. Army

"Chess isn't for the timid." ― Irving Chernev

"He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight." ― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

"This country has not seen and probably will never know the true level of sacrifice of our veterans. As a civilian I owe an unpayable debt to all our military. Going forward let's not send our servicemen and women off to war or conflict zones unless it is overwhelmingly justifiable and on moral high ground. The men of WWII were the greatest generation, perhaps Korea the forgotten, Vietnam the trampled, Cold War unsung and Iraqi Freedom and Afghanistan vets underestimated. Every generation has proved itself to be worthy to stand up to the precedent of the greatest generation. Going back to the Revolution American soldiers have been the best in the world. Let's all take a remembrance for all veterans who served or are serving, peace time or wartime and gone or still with us. 11/11/16 May God Bless America and All Veterans." ― Thomas M Smith

"It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit." ― Harry S Truman, 33rd President of the United States, and former Colonel in the U.S. Army

Ten Chess Tips:
* https://www.chess.com/article/view/...

Look at your opponent's move.
Make the best possible move.
Have a plan.
Know what the pieces are worth.
Develop quickly and well.
Control the center.
Keep your king safe.
Know when to trade pieces.
Think about the endgame.
Always be alert.

*GothamChess: https://www.bing.com/videos/rivervi...

"Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it." ― Lou Holtz

"In all human affairs there are efforts, and there are results, and the strength of the effort is the measure of the result." ― James Allen

"If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward." ― Martin Luther King, Jr.

"A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at." ― Bruce Lee

"If your opponent cannot do anything active, then don't rush the position; instead, you should let him sit there, suffer, and beg you for a draw." ― IM Jeremy Silman

"When you locate good in yourself, approve of it with determination. When you locate evil in yourself, despise it as something detestable." ― Confucius

"Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves." ― Dale Carnegie

The Animals Sick of the Plague

The sorest ill that Heaven has
Sent on this lower world in wrath, –
The plague (to call it by its name,)
One single day of which
Would Pluto's ferryman enrich, –
Waged war on beasts, both wild and tame.
They died not all, but all were sick:
No hunting now, by force or trick,
To save what might so soon expire.
No food excited their desire;
Nor wolf nor fox now watched to slay
The innocent and tender prey.
The turtles fled;
So love and therefore joy were dead.
The lion council held, and said:
"My friends, I do believe
This awful scourge, for which we grieve,
Is for our sins a punishment
Most righteously by Heaven sent.
Let us our guiltiest beast resign,
A sacrifice to wrath divine.
Perhaps this offering, truly small,
May gain the life and health of all.
By history we find it noted
That lives have been just so devoted.
Then let us all turn eyes within,
And ferret out the hidden sin.
Himself let no one spare nor flatter,
But make clean conscience in the matter.
For me, my appetite has played the glutton
Too much and often on mutton.
What harm had ever my victims done?
I answer, truly, None.
Perhaps, sometimes, by hunger pressed,
I have eat the shepherd with the rest.
I yield myself, if need there be;
And yet I think, in equity,
Each should confess his sins with me;
For laws of right and justice cry,
The guiltiest alone should die."
"Sire," said the fox, "your majesty
Is humbler than a king should be,
And over-squeamish in the case.
What! eating stupid sheep a crime?
No, never, sire, at any time.
It rather was an act of grace,
A mark of honour to their race.
And as to shepherds, one may swear,
The fate your majesty describes,
Is recompense less full than fair
For such usurpers over our tribes."

Thus Renard glibly spoke,
And loud applause from flatterers broke.
Of neither tiger, boar, nor bear,
Did any keen inquirer dare
To ask for crimes of high degree;
The fighters, biters, scratchers, all
From every mortal sin were free;
The very dogs, both great and small,
Were saints, as far as dogs could be.

The ass, confessing in his turn,
Thus spoke in tones of deep concern:
"I happened through a mead to pass;
The monks, its owners, were at mass;
Keen hunger, leisure, tender grass,
And add to these the devil too,
All tempted me the deed to do.
I browsed the bigness of my tongue;
Since truth must out, I own it wrong."

On this, a hue and cry arose,
As if the beasts were all his foes:
A wolf, haranguing lawyer-wise,
Denounced the ass for sacrifice –
The bald-pate, scabby, ragged lout,
By whom the plague had come, no doubt.
His fault was judged a hanging crime.
"What? eat another's grass? O shame!
The noose of rope and death sublime,"
For that offence, were all too tame!
And soon poor Grizzle felt the same.

Thus human courts acquit the strong,
And doom the weak, as therefore wrong.

‘May your Departures equal your Landfalls!'

<George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matthew McConaughey get together to make a movie.

Clooney says, "I'll direct."

DiCaprio says, "I'll act."

McConaughey says, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write.">

All The World's A Stage
William Shakespeare

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant, Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.

Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier, Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard, Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice, In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

Q: What do dentists call their x-rays?
A: Tooth pics!

"To know the mighty works of God, to comprehend His wisdom and majesty and power; to appreciate, in degree, the wonderful workings of His laws, surely all this must be a pleasing and acceptable mode of worship to the Most High, to whom ignorance cannot be more grateful than knowledge." — Nicolaus Copernicus

Q: How much space will be freed in the EU after Brexit? A: Approximately 1 GB.

This game an Indian Brahmin did invent,
The force of Eastern wisdom to express;
From thence the same to busy Europe sent;
The modern Lombards stil'd it pensive Chess.
— Sir John Denham

Q: You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees? A: Because they're really good at it.

"The weak are always anxious for justice and equality. The strong pay no heed to either." — Aristotle

"A species that enslaves other beings is hardly superior — mentally or otherwise." — Captain Kirk

"Now, I don't pretend to tell you how to find happiness and love, when every day is a struggle to survive. But I do insist that you do survive, because the days and the years ahead are worth living for!" — Edith Keeler

"Live long and prosper!" — Spock

"The most important thing in life is to stop saying 'I wish' and start saying 'I will.' Consider nothing impossible, then treat possibilities as probabilities." — Charles Dickens

32z Zhang Za'Darius Smith & Wesson don't be messin' Zoltan Almasi periodic rot 5 Vyzmanavin's shanty iza pitty full place.

Q: What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic? A: Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there's a dog.

As a scarecrow, people say I'm outstanding in my field. But hay, it's in my jeans.

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste, mostly.

I stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.

I told my friend ten jokes to make him laugh.
Sadly, no pun in ten did.

I couldn't believe the highway department called my dad a thief. But when I got home, the signs were all there.

Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog?
He wanted to get a long little doggie.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course! The Empire State Building can't jump.

What did the duck say when it bought some lipstick? "Put it on my bill."

<George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matthew McConaughey get together to make a movie.

Clooney says, "I'll direct."

DiCaprio says, "I'll act."

McConaughey says, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write.">

A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Hey!"
The horse replies, "Sure."