Pt. 1

I couldn't say where she's coming from, But I met a chess player named <Sangeeta>

She strolled on over, say look here, bum, I got a forty dollar bill say you can't mate me once (you just can't do it)

She made a bet with <acirce> who's her Swedish chum, She could prove it any time her chess was number one

I don't mind that she called my chess style scum,
But I knew right away I was gonna have her stumped (so I got down to it)

I whipped out my king's pawn, moved my knight from g1, sent my bishop up to b5 just for fun

I pressed the attack till my brain went numb, But I still couldn't break her open defense up

<Sangeeta>, <Sangeeta> where's her dynamic play comin' from?
I done spent three hours and I'm down a whole pawn
My position's done, 'cause of <Sangeeta>

Want her to get into zeitnot
But she ain't havin' it
Set a trap to get her knight caught
But she won't fall for it
Locked her bishop in a tight spot
But she got out of it
Tried my best to find the right shot
But she just countered it

But I'll never eke out a win
The way I've been playin' it
And I gotta snap out of it
If I want a chance at this
'cause I'll never eke out a win
The way I've been playin' it
And I gotta snap out of it
If I want a chance at this

(she looked over at me with a glazed eye and some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area, and she said...)

Just psych me out
And you're halfway there
'cause if my mind's tore up
Then my chess isn't there

I rubbed my chin in deep thought
An said my, my, my
What sort of thing
Might this cause this lady anxiety?

I checked out <acirce> Who was holdin' the bet
And wondered what kind of trip
These chess hustlers were on

The forty dollar bill didn't matter no more
When <acirce> started kibitzing that side of the board

Pt. 2

I told him...
Just because my first attack
had fizzled and died,
No reason to assume
I won't continue to try

So I pulled at my hair
At the board I just stared
And struggled to find a combination in there

(whaddya mean combination!? no combo I see!)

She was nervous-y feelin'
(nervous!)
I was schemin' and dreamin'
(schemin' and dreamin' and ooooh!)
She didn't see what I was seein'
(see what I was seein'!)
Sac'ed my queen, sent her reeling

<Sangeeta> watched from the edge of the board, Then saw the purpose of my move, I could tell she was floored

Some sweat rolling down from her brow to her chin
While she spied the condition her position was in

She muttered and stuttered, and gasped to herself
While <acirce> made a joke about her mental health

Till <Sangeeta> finally did give in, But I told her all she really needed Was chess discipline

That's Caissa's aura for ya
This was better than that last Smith-Morra
How did I see that move before ya?
Right there on g4-ah
And howabout you <acirce>? You here to stay?

Did you say you want some more?
Well, here's some more...

I couldn't say where she's coming from, But I met a chess player named <Sangeeta>

She strolled on over, say look here, bum,
I got a forty dollar bill say you can't mate me once (you just can't do it)

I whipped out my king's pawn, moved my knight from g1, sent my bishop up to b5 just for fun

I pressed the attack till my brain went numb, and I still can't believe that I won.

<<<END>>>