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< Earlier Kibitzing · PAGE 207 OF 217 ·
Later Kibitzing> |
| May-18-15 | | TheFocus: I cut my drinking in half by eliminating the orange juice in these screwdrivers. |
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| May-19-15 | | TheFocus: I just read an article about the wages of alcoholism. I didn't know you could get paid for it. |
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| May-19-15 | | TheFocus: If you're not supposed to misuse cough syrup, then why does it come with a little plastic shot glass? |
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| May-19-15 | | TheFocus: People who say I'm hard to shop for obviously don't know where to buy beer. |
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| May-19-15 | | TheFocus: I don't have a beer gut. I have a protective covering for my rock-hard abs. |
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| May-19-15 | | TheFocus: My drinking team has a bowling problem. |
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| May-19-15 | | TheFocus: Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. |
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| May-19-15 | | TheFocus: Any food can be a superfood if you put a little cape on it. |
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| May-20-15 | | TheFocus: Cop: "Sir, could you please step out of the vehicle?" Me: "I'm too drunk, you get in." |
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| May-20-15 | | TheFocus: Beer is a gateway drug to aspirin. |
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| May-20-15 | | TheFocus: Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. |
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| May-20-15 | | TheFocus: The best year for any wine is the year you drink it. |
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| May-20-15 | | TheFocus: A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. |
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| May-20-15 | | norami: We hold these truths to be self evident, that all drunks are created equal, that they are served by their bartenders with certain unalienable drinks, that among these are beer, wine and bourbon, that to serve these drinks bars are instituted among the drunks, deriving their just tips from the consent of the served, that whenever any form of do-gooder becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the drunks to alter or abolish them, and to institute new do-gooders . . . |
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| May-20-15 | | TheFocus: Warm milky drinks do not cure insomnia.
A twelve-pack of beer and half a bottle of Jack Daniels will, though. |
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| May-21-15 | | TheFocus: I'm ageing like a fine wine that somebody left uncorked. |
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| May-21-15 | | TheFocus: I bet other birds are always accidentally asking penguin's to get them drinks at parties. |
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| May-21-15 | | TheFocus: Or penguins. |
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| May-21-15 | | TheFocus: If money can't buy happiness, explain pizza. |
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| May-26-15 | | TheFocus: <Chess is a kind of mental alcohol. Unless a man has supreme self-control. It is better that he should not learn to play chess. I have never allowed my children to learn it, for I have seen too much of its evil results> - Joseph Blackburne. |
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| May-26-15 | | TheFocus: My new band is called Free Beer, because when people see a sign that says 'Free Beer Tomorrow at 9 p.m., they show up. |
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| May-31-15 | | TheFocus: Husband: "I love you."
Wife: "Is that you talking or the beer talking?"
Husband: "It's me talking ... to the beer." |
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| Jun-01-15 | | TheFocus: I hate it when you're making your way home drunk, just minding your own business, and someone steps on your fingers. |
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| Jun-02-15 | | Most Interesting Man: I don't always drink beer but when I do I prefer Dos Equis. Stay thirsty my friends! |
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| Jun-03-15 | | TheFocus: A bartender walks into a church, a synogouge, and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes work. |
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Kibitzing
