What went wrong?

Classic (even I know this one by heart) by Bob Dylan - The Times They Are A-Changin' (Studio Recording) --

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWpZ...

How to get your 'baby' to stop whining -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ly5J... (do not watch this one in full...)

I just posted my <match of the week> in my forum.

Will you have a look if you get a chance?

I love the videos and stories of parents in Toys R Us on the 23rd, grappling and fighting with each other for the latest popular toy (Molest-Me Elmo, Garbage-Patch Kids), of which there is a limited supply.

And what's the story about that claymation Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer show that they broadcast every year? Is Santa a fascist/racist in that, or what? The message is: if you're different (i.e., have a red nose or want to be a dentist), get the hell out of Christmas Village.

Great edification for the kiddies.

How did the away game go last week, chum? I'm afraid I have to report my first defeat in over four months. Annoyingly the game was also my finest strategic performance, perhaps ever - and I lost due to a mere technical lapse. Bollocks, piss and Runcorn. I know how the great Saint felt now.

By the way, if ever you ever needed convincing that R. Pollard is a ridiculously multi-talented bastard, please see here: http://robertpollard.net/2.html. Just this month he put on his first exhibition of collages in the Big Apple (I think there were 93 on show in the end). Shock of awakening left, right and centre. I would love it if any of the art critics chez frog could could give 'professional' opinions, because I for one am in love with each and every canvas. Solipsism ahoy!

Sorry for being a stranger. Who knows, Madonna might fall in love with me.

We ended up in the following highly instructive position. Both Rooks are on the enemy back rank, the Kings are on d2 and d7, the Bishops control the a3/f8 and a6/f1 diagonals (bad French Bishop? Hah!) ... so, apart from a couple of pawns, the only difference is good Knight vs bad Knight. And, well, the checkmate.

click for larger view

You were right all along: Google will ensure that you see the mediocre-to-slightly-above-average minds of your generation destroyed by madness, starving, hysterical, naked. I wasn't entirely sure what the 'Swarm Variation' was, so I gone done a search. According to various reports, the Swarm Variation is:

'Hordes of little gribblies
produced at large amounts
low cost, but purty weak'

(http://forums.relicnews.com/archive...)

'[An] HB deck... that don't use smugglers.'

(http://www.essentialswccg.com/forum...)

or something completely alien:

'The general who thoroughly understands the manifestations that swarm variation of suppositions knows how to handle his hoops. And pace ye world after their yokels?'

(http://216.239.59.104/search?q=cach...)

Which is it, pray tell?

... is what I would have thought were it not for the neatly attached URLs which do kinda authenticate things. Hmm. God, it's old and peculiar out there sometimes.

Serving both attack and defense!

I guess I am not really contributing to the discussion at hand...

<Dom> Great final position in that Diagram!! - like a damp dream or something... In a OTB game that musta felt good.

Kidding aside - I was just kiddin'

Maybe I should seek a place to hide now?

Signed,
Beyond Help

'Cobalt Shaft and the Notorious Drool'
http://robertpollard.net/11.html

'Grand Element Teacher'
http://robertpollard.net/22.html

'Gratification to Concrete' (contains tits, for those of you at work) http://robertpollard.net/23.html

'Lightninghead to Coffee Pot'
http://robertpollard.net/28.html

'The Astral City Slicker'
http://robertpollard.net/41.html

'They Didn't Give A @#$% Then And They Don't Give A @#$% Now' http://robertpollard.net/46.html

'You Were Saying?'
http://robertpollard.net/52.html

'8 Bars of Meaningless Matilda'
http://robertpollard.net/59.html

'High Noon'
http://robertpollard.net/71.html

'Hunting the House'
http://robertpollard.net/72.html

'Peepshow'
http://robertpollard.net/80.html

'So Green She Had To Be White'
http://robertpollard.net/83.html

'There's Nothing Behind The Yellow Door'
http://robertpollard.net/87.html

<Very either/or, Christmas. What about those Bisantalists who are naughty *and* nice ... ?> Ah, yes, those who refuse to choose a side in things, but rather dwell in the comfortable center. Remember that these uncommitted types were not even allowed in Dante's Hell proper, but must share the ante-Inferno with the cowardly angels. And the <Bisantalists> seem not be an exception.

<A True Christmas story <honest, though some of the general facts--the place/time, for example--may not be quite right>>:

Place: A Florida town

Time: 1960s

Every year this town in Florida had a big kick-off for the Christmas shopping season on the first Friday (or Saturday) after Thanksgiving. It was held at the large mall in the town. There was a big parade, all the local high schools sent their bands to play Christmas songs, the mayor and other dignitaries gave windy speeches, all of which was followed by the arrival of Santa Claus in a helicoptor (much as Santa comes at the end of the Macy's Thanksgiving parade).

On this particular day, the helicoptor landed and the door flew open. In a gigsntic gesture of affection, all the children and parents cried out to Santa as he began to emerge from the helicoptor. Santa, not to be outdone, did a huge overhead wave to the crowd...only to have the 'coptor blade chop off his hand.

Really dreadful, but true.

I know, and I for one am relieved.

It seems that other chess terms are reduced to nothingness when tossed into Google.

Outside passer:

'The outside passer takes the hot rivet and passes it though a small hole in the shell plate to the inside...' (http://www.uscg.mil/D8/prevention/d...)

'den der idiot outside passer deg temmelig godt lidan' (http://www.3dhue.com/viewtopic.php?...)

'Many years ago, before they had many rules in MX racing, it was not uncommon to kick the front wheel of an outside passer.' (http://www.beginnerbikers.org/forum...)

I do like to have a new game to play at Christmas. Over to you, frogmen...

I'm Black, naturellement. Parmi les Noirs...

1.e4 e6 (My opponent actually *was* French ... and it's nice to make folk feel at home, innit?) 2.d4 d5 3.Nc3 Bb4 4.e5 c5 5.a3 Ba5

The dreaded Swarm. A bit ropey at GM level, but fun for humans.

6.b4 cxd4
7.bxa5 dxc3
8.Qg4 Ne7
9.Qxg7 Rg8
10.Qxh7 Nbc6
11.f4 Qxa5

12.Ne2 (?)
All theory, but this is weaker than Nf3. White plans just to round up the c3-pawn, which is not actually such a great idea.

12 ... Bd7
13.Qd3 Nb4 (shazam! I found this over the board and played it quickly...)

14.Qxc3? (Oops. 14.Qd1 was required. This loses at once, but I took the scenic route.)

14 ... Nxc2+
15.Kd2 Qxc3+ (?!)
(Not stopping to see 15...Nxa1! 16.Qxa5 Nb3+ regaining the queen) 16.Kxc3 Nxa1
17.Kb2 Nf5
18.Kxa1 Bb5
19.g3 Rc8
20.Kb2 d4
21.Bd2 Ba4
22.Bb4 Rc2+
23.Kb1 Kd7
24.Nc1
Here I intended ...Rgc8 to increase pressure on the white king; then I looked at ...Rh8 before noticing that it gave back the exchange. Then I decided to play it anyway. White goes downhill very fast after this. 24 ... Rh8
25.Bb5+ Bxb5
26.Kxc2 Nxg3
27.Rg1 Rxh2+
28.Kd1 Nf5
29.Rg8 Ne3+
30.Ke1 Rh1+
31.Kd2 Rd1#.

Fin.

Tsk, you're turning into me: full of vice and incapable of resisting booze twixt rounds. There's a decent precedent, though. Lawrence Day sez:

< IMlday: Joshka, maybe the trick is to experiment and see what works for you? Everybody has different metabolism. Long experienced with the 'straight' school, and the 'coffee and cigs' school, then the 'vodka and ginseng' school may have benefitted from novelty. An additional factor which may be important: getting 8 hours sleep a night during tournaments. For myself I found this very important. Awake from having slept enough is a different stone from underslept but having consumed several coffees. At my first Canadian Closed Championship, 1969, I was just 20 and amazed that the Toronto players Vranesic, Amos and Dobrich had a standard pre-game lunch of pizza and beer. They all did better or as well as I did, leaving out the beer and having coffee instead.>

Lawrence Day

Just had a look at your game, splendid stuff. A few points:

a) How good was your opponent, roughly? I'm not too keen on asking exact grades, as that can be misleading, but I'd be curious to know.

b) Is anything other than 9.Qxg7 ever played? Summat simple, like 9.Nf3 or 9.h4 or 9.f4?

c) 12.Ne2 is @#$%e, isn't it? What about 12.g3? He took an age to get his bishop out after that, and even then it was with the inexplicable check on b5. 12.Nf3, too.

A while back (mid-April if I remember correctly, because I was mugged the same day) you recommended to me Kevin Coyne. He's bloody brilliant, and I'm so glad he's in my life now. It's been such a long time since I became excited by anything 'new' musically. It says a lot for the current music 'scene' that my most recent aural erection came from someone who's been putting out records since the late sixties.

I have some sympathy for Lawrence Day -- he always seems to get the inebriation questions.

Your <lets google chessy stuff> idea is fab, superb, outasight, rilly. I love it. Only thing is, I've tried "bad bishop" and "lust to expand" and I seem to get directed to Anglo-Catholic High Church Porn sites. Please advise.