That includes Chess perforce.

But there are ones who try to make us believe that they make sense, awkin types, philosophers, politicians-- which is misleading, which is in fact the worst kind of leadership imagineable.

We reign supreme over "our" Ruins, and let no-one persuade us otherwise. (not sure if that was 'English')

PS. <Dom> -- Do you *ever* write something bad?

Anyhow, off to the wars again today. I am a King. My pawns are my internal organs. My Knights are my test ... err ... *tentacles* ... doing an octopoid number on the opposition.

I hope there is no hard feelings. But it was fun.

Btw, <euripides> provided the link to "My cat Jeoffry". It is by Christopher Smart, actually a part of a longer work, "Jubilate agno". <Euripides> also added a "cat poem" by C.Baudelaire :-)

I even played my own invention, the April Fool Variation of the Munster Attack ... first played on 1st April last year ... today's opponent seemed bemused when I lashed out the early moves (1.Nf3 Nc6 2.a3 e5 3.d4 e4 4.d5 etc) instantly ...

heh

This was bound to happen, I knew it!

Nice that you "picked" a 2140-ish knucklehead to show you still mean business.

Yes, as you may have suspected, that is the merry sound of the <Bells> at the infamous <St. Trinian's School for Young Catholic High School Girls in Trouble> ringing in honor of this fellow's most recent <TRIUMPH>:

Gerry McCarthy

That's right, in honor of our hero crushing a Master rated foe with his famed <Count Chocula Attack, Frankeberry Variation with 5.Kh9>, we will address him by his "real name" for this occasion.

Bloody good show, Gerry.

Let's put it this way.

You won.
He lost.

You outplayed, outsmarted, outmanoeuvered, outmanned, and undone him, reducing him to a mere pair of knickers surrounding an electro-chemical almagamation plunged into the very depths of agony.

Do we feel sorry for him?

No.

Nobody put a gun to his head, forcing him to MATCH WITS WITH OUR OWN <Dominator>!!!

OK please, sir:

<Game score>??

I'm DYING to look at it.

I want to learn more about this <Count Chocula> attack.

Opening: Weird (see above). Opponent tries it on, and is firmly rebuffed. After a gnarly complex series of moves and much thought, I reach a clearly winnable position around move 18: extra pawn, two bishops, loads more space, much better development, major attack potential.

Here I lost the thread. Forgetting that one *must* attack when winning, I play a series of exchanges and nothing moves, letting him catch up in development and reach a Q+R + opposite bishops semi-ending.

Tired, thinking the position has lost its potential, I offer a draw. And make a blunder at the same time. Have to give up the exchange to avoid being mated. But he misses his best line, and I get the queens off and reach a probably drawn B+pp vs R ending.

He's bashing out moves now, slamming the rook onto squares, obviously certain he can win. I push my extra pawns. He puts the rook behind the furthest one. Oops ... it's a blunder. I interpose the bishop. Classic interference: he can take it with pawn or rook, but either way I get a new queen. He resigns.

The agony and the ecstasy of HUMANS playing chess...

Plus, you whupped him good. You were the BETTER MAN ON THE DAY.

Please game score? When and if you're ready? (take a rest- you deserve it.)

Also, if you EMU it to me I promise not to blab.

However, I don't promise that I won't sell the game score to several <Evangelical Christian Mailing Lists>.

(Well, they pay big money for "smart people")

White: Moi
Black: NN (I exaggerated ... only 2125)

1.Nf3 Nc6
I was actually ready for this. Somebody told me he played ...Nc6 systems like the Chigorin, and would probably respond to 1.Nf3 with ...Nc6, trying to transpose. So I thought I'd repeat a previous experiment, which has the virtue of having been analyzed by me ... and practically no-one else.

2.a3 e5
3.d4 e4
It's a sort of Reversed Alekhine's, with the (very useful) a3 added.

4.d5 Ne7
Novelty. My other game went 4...exf3 5.dxc6 fxg2 6.cxd7+ Qxd7 7.Qxd7+ Bxd7 8.Bxg2 with a tiny edge for White, but was drawn in the end.

5.Ng5 f5
6.c4 Ng6
7.g3 Nf6
8.Bg2
(8.Bh3?! h6 9.Bxf5 Ne7! and despite the congestion round his king and queen, Black seems to be better) 8 ... Bd6
9.f3 0-0
10.fxe4 fxe4
11.Nc3 Ng4
12.Ncxe4 Qe7
13.Nxd6 Qxd6
14.Qd4 Nf2
15.0-0
(Visually, a nice move to play - but 15.c5 is even stronger) 15 ... c5
16.Qc3 Ng4
(Opponent now looking unhappy, grimacing, etc)
17.Bd2 Nf6
18.Ne4
This, I think is the right move. But my subsequent exchanges were weak. 18 ... Nxe4
19.Rxf8+?
Helps Black to develop.
19 ... Qxf8
20.Bxe4 d6
White still has a clear advantage, but now I start throwing it away.

21.Bxg6 hxg6
22.Rf1 Qe7
23.Qf3 Bf5
24.b4 b6
25.Bf4 Be4
26.Qe3
(I rejected 26.Bxd6, but it works: 26.Bxd6 Bxf3 27.Bxe7 Bxe2 28.Rf4!) 26 ... Re8
27.h4 Qd7

The crisis. I now offer a draw, and obliviously play 28.Qb3 - keeping his queen out of a4 but overlooking the more serious danger to my king.

28.Qb3 Qh3
29.Rf3 Bxf3

Phew. 29...Bxd5! is a killer.

30.Qxf3 cxb4
31.axb4 Qf5
32.Bxd6 Re4
33.Qxf5 gxf5
34.c5

In contrast to earlier grimaces, he's now slamming the rook onto squares, certain he's cruising to a win. I reckon it's probably drawn with best play on both sides. But that doesn't happen.

34 ... Rd4
This loses: he had to exchange pawns.

35.c6 Rxd5
36.c7 Rd1+

I suspect he thought I'd missed this check as a way of getting the rook to the c-file. In fact I'd seen it, along with what comes next -- though I was having trouble believing it.

37.Kf2 Rc1
38.Bc5 Resigns

1-0.

Meanwhile, here's something a little peculiar. A while back, as I'm sure you remember, I spent a great deal time blithering on about Alfred J. Kwak. I converted our friend <Achieve> in the process. I feel the following clip, though Japanese-dubbed, might win the rest of you over. This is 'Alfred's Chess Adventure', episode 12 of the first series. If you skip to 6:30 you'll see a highly familiar opening sequence - someone on the inside clearly knew their stuff. For the record, playing white is Henk, the mole who adopted Alfred after his whole family were killed by a car in episode 2.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hadj...

There's also an analogy with the Nimzowitsch Attack (1.Nf3 & 2.b3) and Larsen's Opening (1.b3) -- collectively the Nimzo-Larsen. Again, White plays 1.Nf3 first to avoid lines with 1...e5.

The name Munster Attack comes from the fact that the first two games I found in the databases were played in Munster, Ireland and Munster, Germany. Plus the Munster rugby team were European champions at the time, and it amused me to name an opening after a rugby team. As I told <twinlark> at the time, the two have something in common: a slow start and a violent clash soon after.

The main lines are seen after 1.Nf3 Nf6 2.a3 or 1.Nf3 d5 2.a3, when White's aim is to play an Indian-style defence with an extra tempo, and one where a3 is useful rather than a waste of time. Clearly anything where an enemy bishop or knight normally goes to b4 is good.

1...Nc6 is an attempt to either force ...e5 or transpose into a Chigorin QGD. 2.a3 e5 3.d4 is the April Fool variation of the Munster Attack, a reversed Alekhine's with the very useful a3 thrown in.

More 'theory' later, or when I've invented it. Feel free to add to the theory of this fast-expanding opening.

Heh. Jumped the gun a bit there, eh. Where does this rather loopy effort by King Duncan fit into the Munster complex?

I don't think the Munster idea -- forgot to mention The Munsters on TV among its influences -- is very good against ...g6, actually. Any sort of KID structure tends to make a3 superfluous, unless -- like Dunc -- you want to play b4 and slug it out on the long diagonal.

My own contribution to theory is strictly in the April Fool variation after 1...Nc6. I've only found 3 database games, all of which went 1.a3 e5 2.Nf3 Nc6 3.d4 exd4. But if black is playing for a win, 3...e4 must be more likely: it's been played twice against me by fairly strong opponents.

Now it transpires that Santasiere was also among the first to play the equivalent reversed line in Alekhine's Defence - as *White*. That is,

1.e4 Nf6
2.Nc3 d5
3.e5 d4
4.Nce2 Ng4
5.f4

... which is the position I reached, but with colours reversed and a3 already played ...

Santasiere vs Seidman, 1946

One interesting point. In my game, the pawn on a3 hampered the development of Black's DSB. It obviously can't go to b4, and ...Bc5 would invite b2-b4 and a white pawnstorm -- so he played ...Bd6, where it slowed up queenside development by blocking the d-pawn.

But in this game Santasiere - with no a-pawn to worry about - chose Bd3 (the reversed equivalent) anyway. Very strange.

And "White" - that is, *Black* - won. Now I'm starting to confuse myself with reversed openings -- is it possible to play a double reverse? A reversed Sicilian, reversed? How would it differ from a normal Sicilian?

What about reversing it? If I'd played 1.Nf3 Nc6 2.a3 e5 3.d4 e4 4.Nfd2 d5 etc, I'd have been in a reversed French. Has anyone actually done this?

Not in the CG database, it seems. But <Fitzmeier vs Gibbs> World Seniors C'ship 2006 went:

1.a3 d5
2.e3 e5
3.d4 Nc6
4.Nf3 e4
5.Nfd2

... and White duly won, his queenside pawn storm reinforced by his initial 1.a3.

And Svidler is due to play in that tournament I'm soonishly entering. Small world, innit.