I once contrived to subtly insult somebody by stammering. I was giving a short speech at a wedding - my sister's, I think. I have not myself ever undergone this peculiar ceremony.

Anyhow, the previous speaker was named Jakob (pronounced Yack-Obb), and he went on a bit. So when my turn came around, I simply thanked "Yack-Yack-Yack- Jacob" for his kind words.

Maybe dumdonol has some insight into da filandoring.

"Where is Shirts?"

"I don't know."

The Championship of all the Munsters including Munster Mash...

<Dom> Actually I would be interested in <The Dalkey Archive> since I haven't read that one, and I assume it's in English? I don't remember reading it anyway. I sure remember reading the <Third Policeman> though- indelible bit of misanthropy, that...

I don't actually know the "Halloween Gambit" but I do know of a line in the French where black sacrifices a Knight for a particularly vicious Queenside assault.

<Kingscruffer> is fond of playing it but I can never remember how it goes, exactly. I suspect you are aware of this line though?

I only ever play the Ruy Lopez these days, having done years with the Scotch and then the English. I suppose a move to the continent was inevitable.

I suppose the only thing of interest I found so far in the Spanish Game is that if my opponent plays the version of the Berlin where you have to take the Queens off, I just resign and start another game with someone else.

I realize this sounds ridiculous, but I'm not really a "competitive" player any more. I only play for fun nowadays, although recently I accidentally won a gigantic all-play-all twice correspondence tournament over at Kingscruffer's website. I joined accidentally. I thought I was joining "a" game with a chap and the next time I checked the game I was horrified to see I had signed up to play 17 other folks as well.

Anyhoo my TPR was 1850, which is about right- that's almost 200 points lower than my correspondence rating I started the tournament with. I managed not to lose any of my games, so I'm still a shade over 2000, but these TPRs don't lie, I bet.

<Martinez!> Well met!

I hope retirement still finds you thriving. But oh, the memories. It seems like only yesterday that you were in the starting pitching rotation of the Baltimore Orioles...

Despite this, I had two games today in which queens were exchanged early. I won the first of these, as Black, after an opening that was bizarre even by my standards: 1.e3 f5 2.f4 g6 ... and how do you like them apples?

In my next game I exchanged queens again hoping to win another queenless middlegame - Kramnik used to make it look easy. But it got boring so I offered a draw on move 25.

<Dom> And there you go I did read <The Dalkey Archive> after all. I do recall the underwater conversation with Saint Augustine.

1.e3 f5 2.f4 g6 I do like them apples, as a matter of fact.

click for larger view

And of course there is no 2...g6 in the OPENING EXPLORER although it seems like a perfectly fine move to me. Do you remember the rest of the moves, particularly how the Queens got off?

Somebody just played 1.e3 against me on Gameknot and I almost text messaged him in case it was a mouse slip, but I figure there are few mouse slips on Correspondence because most of the sites let you "revise" your first move before sealing it.

How do you like these apples?

I can't resist:

<Teem> lol I bet every single one of us has done what Josh did there, at some point. Yep, sometimes it's time to dig out those used coffee grounds out of the trash bin and put them back in the machine.

No choice!

<Dom> <I'm slightly addled because I just came 2nd in the Munster ch'ship (ie, Cork, Limerick and adjacent points). <<<Unbeaten>>> on 3.5/5. Whee!>

Congratulations sir! Yep, still got it eh? Chess is a stern mistress, frequently maddening, never easy, so when you post a stellar result against tough men over the board like you did...

To celebrate, here is some very rare footage of you schooling Stig O' Tracy, your legendary chess agent...