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"Hateful, blasphemous, prejudiced, vulgar, rude, or ignorant remarks are the music of a free society, and the relentless patter of idiots is how we know we're in one."

Daniel Gilbert

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When your opponent has a King Rook and four pawn ending, refrain from calling it <KR4P!> He might not understand what you're trying to say.

I remember we were talking about "Death Proof" in the Cafe when that movie came out on DVD.

I have recently become very interested in the game and have reading a couple of books and played a fair bit with play money on pokerstears.com if you would humor me can I please ask you a couple of questions? :)

I realise that play money is quite different from real money games and at a lower level, but if I am dominating on play money tables do you think that I would be good enough to profit playing low limit (lowest low limit)real money online poker?

Can anyone profit from playing exclusivily online no limit tournaments? - the kind where you have like 3500 entrants and a 25 dollar joining fee?

What do you think is the best site to play on? Do you know of any good holdem forums to discus theory? Are there any online training tools?

Just out of curiousity - what do you think of Gus Hansens style?

I would like to play for a living eventually but to do that I would need to average $250 USD per week. Is this a realistic possibility playing really low stakes 8hrs per day? Do you have any advice on playing no limit low blinds low buy in ($100 maybe) cash tables online? do you find as many weak players and maniacs as you would on a low limit counter-part table?

<I would like to play for a living eventually but to do that I would need to average $250 USD per week. Is this a realistic possibility playing really low stakes 8hrs per day?> if you can handle grinding for 8 hours a day then god bless, but i couldnt do it. it really just depends on your level of skill.

An interesting concept, worth thinking about. Although to be perfectly frank (and horrribly unmodest) - I have been a gamer since I was old enough to think. I was beating my dad at Euchre when I was seven years old (and my dad was no fool or noob) I was virtually perfect at tetris at age 9. I could clock streetfighter 2 with most characters at the same age and was crushing everyone in my neighbourhood, including teens. I have been playing chess for 5 years and am 1875 standard rated on FICS after more than 50 games. - without carrying on too much further - I have a talent for games and taking this into account - I am seeking the shortest path to financial success.

<but those people are making it off of everyone else. something to think about.> Is this an ethical statement? Because I have considered this. I have debated with myself - Am I just occupying the normal position of the house, therefore collecting of addicted gamblers? - Short answer - yes. But does this mean that I should abstain from playing a game that I love? - I don't see why.

When it comes to comprehending conversation - I'm an idiot :) And I usually limit my forum posts online for this reason :)

Don't be surprised if you see me in your forum in the future, asking questions and discussing my progress. :)

Once again - when it come to people I'm a virtual idiot. :)

I post at unitedpokerforum.com. It's a small, friendly poker forum that taught me so much of what I know now. There are other forums available, like twoplustwo (but that's a rather large one, you may feel drowned out in there), bet-the-pot, and pocketfives (those are the major ones I know of).

If you want to play online for a living, you really should wait a long time. There are 3 reasons:

1) By the questions you ask, I take it your skill level is no where near ready. While lower levels are beatable without being all that good, you'd have to play higher levels to make enough to live off of. You will most likely get good enough, but it does take time.

2) Make sure you're mentally ready. Can you handle the swings (by the way, big tournaments have a lot of variance, so they are a very risky way to make a living)? Are your emotions in check? Can you fight off boredom?

3) Get enough money in reserve. You need to be ready for several losing months in a row (even the best go through this -- variance is everywhere). If you have the bankroll, then this will be ok, and you can hold out for better luck.

Other than that, keep learning, and play for fun for now. And don't burn any bridges -- it's good to have a back-up job just in case this goes sour.

About going pro: it can be done, if you truly are dedicated. I agree with everything that square dance and ganstaman said, especially about <<<bankroll management>>>.

I have a friend who plays a fairly good game, certainly better than most of the mugs at the local casino. But then I hear him say "I can't play at the $1/$2 table anymore, once you feel the excitement of the $5/$10 table there's no going back." Well, the problem with his thinking is that you should have a bankroll of at LEAST 1000 times the big blind, probably more like 5000 times. Does he have a $50,000 bankroll? Hardly. I doubt he has a $1000 bankroll.

If he managed Phil Ivey's bankroll, Phil would be broke in a week. It's got nothing to do with skill, it has to do with patience. Poker is a boring game: you grind away, you take bad beats, you win hands you're "not supposed to", you steal blinds, you lay down strong hands, a million times over, and at the end of the day you may or may not win money.

<I realise that play money is quite different from real money games> It is as the lower levels. I've found once you ramp up to the truly incredible heights at play money tables you meet people who necessarily take their play money very seriously. But there's a huge factor that the play-money tables ignore: THE RAKE!!! Just because you can eke out a profit in play money doesn't mean you'll be able to make that much when the house starts to stick their greedy hands in your winnings pots.

<Can anyone profit from playing exclusivily online no limit tournaments? - the kind where you have like 3500 entrants and a 25 dollar joining fee?> I think so but my style is more to play cash games. Some people I know play almost exclusively one-table sit-and-goes.

<What do you think is the best site to play on?> I've only used two of them so I can't really judge. <Do you know of any good holdem forums to discus theory? Are there any online training tools?> I used to know some but I don't have any URLs handy. I'll post some later if I can find them.

The setting has to be perfect:

#1. You're first to bet, "under the gun".

#2. The players at your table are fairly good.

#3. On the button or in the blinds are a couple of "jackals" (to borrow a Hellmuth expression) who are strong players willing to either bluff or over-represent a moderate hand should they smell weakness.

#4. You've been dealt a monster. There are only three true monsters in holdem: AA, KK, and AK.

Procedure:

#1: Limp your monster! Go ahead and toss in a little Hollywood... give it some thought before you push your chip forward. But don't overdo it.

#2: Hopefully some other players with mediocre hands toss in their money after you. You are hoping to get a chain-reaction of limpers. Limping is contagious, you know. This is why I said that the players have to be moderately good--weak players don't comprehend the concept of pot odds yet and will fold certain hands regardless of the odds they are getting.

#3: Now the "jackals" get to play, they see a lot of money in the pot, but nobody has really shown any great strength, just a bunch of limpers trying to see a cheap flop. So the jackal pounces and makes a very large bet hoping to pick up the chips. Maybe he even has a halfway decent hand, like AQ suited, or a small pair, or something like that. It's a smart educated move for him to make, but he just sprung your trap.

#4: Now it's your bet again. You go over the top, all in. The limpers almost always fold (unless they are so severely short stacked they consider they have odds to call) and the jackal is left with the really tough decision if he has a lot of chips left. But quite possibly he is pot committed and forced to call your monster with an inferior hand. So the possibilities are: (a) you pick up a very nice pot without even needing to show your cards, (b) you find yourself in a heads-up scenario where you dominate your opponent (c) in the worst case, you find yourself in a race, e.g. your big slick is up against a low pair. But this scenario is quite good for you because of all that dead money in the pot.

Warnings:

It's a great move when it works, but it can go terribly wrong. What happens if (a) the "limping contagion" doesn't get started, or (b) the jackals don't pounce? Now you might have to see a flop with a great hand and you're out of position, with a crowd of players who could be holding virtually anything. When I find myself in that position, let's say I have a pair of aces, I will check and try to get a feel for the table.