<Portobello> You're not imagining it I can't remember a season like this for ages.

Possibly the season way back in the day when after clearly establishing himself as the best footballer in training <Kevin Keegan> begged off World Cup duty (again) with a "sore back."

I think the main reason he doesn't make top 20 or even top 10 lists is his failure of nerve.

I have watched a lot of footy lately and I find myself wondering "where is the quality" or "where are the goals" and I don't think it has anything to do with a sudden increase in defending ability.

I think the supernatural is involved.

<Antonio Martial Music> scored a sweet goal against Chelsea the other day I remember that one. And the goal <AlderWerewolf> scored apparently from muscle memory as opposed to any real plan.

Mainly I remember the week of "zeros" a while back when the pundits were whining about no goals. Without goals they have nothing to report on.

It is impossible to make money betting or even fake money on erotic pools under these conditions.

A team can waltz in to the (soon to be) Fish N Chip shop that used to be Man City and boss them at 30-1.

Then the next day they can fail to make any impact whatsoever on the <St. Albin's Knitting Circle and Football Club>.

So forget predictions. Except that <Spurs> can do nothing without Kane and Sonny.

As you pointed out, it is insane not to have a back up striker. Look what happened with <Spurs-Chelsea> a match Spurs HAD to win. Hmmm Chelsea has a back up striker... an uncommonly good one, I might add. Hmmm where is Spurs back up striker...

I'm not familiar with the 'St. Albins' lot, but did spend a brief time living in St. Albans in Hetfordshire, and can confirm that those ladies would have torn you limb from limb and then knitted you a woolly hammock on which to see out your days. Combining savagery and tenderness was not uncommon for them.

Kane and now <Sonnny Jim> are a terrible miss undoubtedly. It will be a tough ask to adapt, and then return to the original system in the future. Very disruptive. It was very foolish to let the only spare striker leave.

<Part Dragon> If I remember correctly, St. Albins is the more "fey" version of St. Albans.

I should emphasize though that the entirety of my "knowledge" of England derives from Monty Python, The Royle Family, and VIZ magazine.

<Pogba> will become fit again and then get seriously injured for ages again straight after. Like what happened to <Gareth Bale> for the last 3-4 years now. Except <Pogba> hasn't had his salad days yet which is a real tragedy. I never liked him, as a player or a personality, but I like <ManU> enough to hope he gets some salad.

Your "no <Rashford Marshmallow Sandwich>" theory has been proven over and over since you mentioned it. Do you think England gaffer "St. Ives" is smart enough to figure this out. I have serious doubts about that which is why I have demoted his name to "St. Ives." When he wins a tournament he can have his name back.

Sorry I'm late. I've been doing some Spring cleaning. Granted, it's for the Spring of 2012, but still...

Good morning <Teem> the topic is footy at the moment but feel free to introduce another.

Possible suggestions:

Still on Daegu time, I see. So are you under quarantine? Probably a good idea for the protection of your neighbors.

<Teem> I don't know what's happening in <Daegu> I haven't been there for two years.

I remember being there for SARS and MERS and the YELLOW DUST FROM CHINA air advisories though.

None of that scared me though. What did scare me was worrying that <President Trump> and <Benevolent Dictator Jim Kim Chi> were going to talk themselves into dropping atomic bombs on my head.

In 14 years I had never known any Korean person to be worried about restarting the Korean War.

But they did then, for the first time in my experience. That's why I was also scared for the first time. My manager estimated the chance of the war restarting to be around 10%. That's when I began planning my exit strategy. Here is a science video explaining my plan:

I think money is also the root of the problem when it comes to England managers. Money … and death by media.

Forgive me if I’ve already tortured you with this opinionated rant, but footy managers are a particularly greedy bunch (just look at Cloughie, George Graham, Sam Allardyce … and those are just some of the ones we know about). If they were truly working for the honour of representing their country then they would surely all understand the need to transition from the typical solid, boring football of a Group Phase, to a more risky, attacking style in the latter stages of competitions. Because that is what’s needed to bludgeon your way to the final and win it.

I’m convinced that they all know this, and that a more cautious outlook is only ever going to deliver a mediocre outcome – like losing on penalties in a quarter or semi-final.

Unfortunately, where England managers are concerned, hanging onto their ridiculously well paid job, and avoiding a lashing from the press, will always be foremost in their strategy. Which means maintaining a safety-first attitude throughout. A mediocre result is okay for them. It shows some ‘promise’ for the future and avoids any disgrace.

Conversely, anyone who dares take a risk can expect severe criticism if it doesn’t work out. It may mean not getting another well paid job, especially if they have been branded a maverick, cavalier or whatever by the media. This is not exclusive to the mentality of managers, but players too. I’ve mentioned before how <Beckham> went down the same safety-first route, for similar reasons.

Really, I think the FA should adopt a new policy. You get appointed manager for one competition and the contract only gets renewed if you win it. That would be a helpful first step, but would only succeed if the media came on board as well. They’d need to be more forgiving of a ‘death or glory’ mentality, and less easily appeased by cautious plodders.

Sadly, I don’t think <SouthPark> has got the cojones to buck the trend, but come the summer, let’s hope that he does at least have some strikers to choose from. Starting without Vardy, Rashford and Kane would be a real blow. Hopefully, Rashford is on his way back now.

If we do need a fourth choice striker, then it would be hard to ignore the Southampton number 9. Unless he has an aversion to air travel that is … in which case we’ll be <Flying without Ings>. (groan).

In the meantime, I don’t think <SouthPark> need be too aware of the Rashford-Martial conflict until <Marshmallow> declares some English parentage!

My name is Talky Teema and I love you very much so you better be nice to me.

lol I remember <Talky Teema>- largely because of your *real* name "Teem" which I believe you changed to "Tim" because Silicon Valley was against Mexicans?

In fact if I remember correctly it was you who actually disabused them of this heinous notion by organizing "human pinata" parties in the break room.

Also you posted <Talky Teem> a few months ago.

It's an ill wind, though since you have your pulse on the horror as usual. Dolls that come to life horror are the most popular genre at the moment. Not fewer than three new films debuted this month alone on that most excellent topic.

<Ponce de Leon>

Very good analysis on "St. Ives" I hadn't thought of that point on England gaffers. I hadn't noticed it even. Also I didn't know his real name was <SouthPark>. I've been enjoying <Inges Hauser> as well on his stellar play this season, though he's been a thorn in Spurs side. Top shelf there's a lot to like there. Who knew that an aging German actor would make such a good striker eh? Here is an old photo of <Inges Hauser> in his heyday: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0369567/

<St. Ives>? I meant to ask.

A more or less random continuation of the St. Albins theme? ... or have you once again outsmarted me with a literary reference that only <Inges Hauser> would comprehend?

Charles Bronson movie

Leapin' Lizards! It's Leap Day! Run!

Little Orphan Annie!

<Park My Dragon>

All hard to beat. But when you really want to relax ... is there anything that competes with petting the family dog?

<Pantaloons>

<Teem> alert post brah! Chulthulthulu indeed is mighty and indeed "sleeps in R'Lyeh" as we speak...

Can you dig it brah.

The Cthulhu Mythos Explained

My knowledge of the Mythos comes from an adventure game called "The Awakened" wherein Sherlock Holmes, the great English defective and his patient doctor and biographer Watson fight a murderous cult which worships the Dreaming Cthulhu who sleeps beneath the waves but will awaken to take his rightful place.

I could go on but I believe I have reached the limit of what can be said in a single sentence.

A video game! Is it online or did you play it on a game console.