... and girls on bikes with boiled eggs taped to the handlebars. I still can't get that image out of my head.

I want to complain. Too much football. It's hard to keep up. And the fantasy team relaunched itself without so much as an email reminder.

I don't get to see a lot of <Nevs>, but it sounds like he's becoming quite strident in his talk. Is he perhaps trying to compete with the ever-controversial <Keano>, whose criticism of De Gea and Maguire was incredibly scathing -"I wouldn't even let them on the bus home. Make them get a taxi."

Good game though ... a damn sight better than that Liverpool derby.

One amusing piece of commentary on MOTD's live coverage of the Palace game ... "Oh dear, it looks like Andros Townsend is the only premiership footballer who doesn't live with a hairdresser."

I was a bit put off by the canned crowd noise, but the 'silent alternative' is also not great as far as I recall.

Like you, I detected some players were off their game. Possibly a combination of too much lockdown lazing about and a reduced sense of importance, or urgency, when it feels like no-one is watching.

<Paint My Football>

Minor quibble, but what's wrong with the old white ones? A yellow or "teal" football might be ok for the Green Grass League or the St. Andrews Presbyterian Prison for Young Boys squad, but I'm not sure it belongs in England.

Tough to keep him down, <School of hard Warnock> and that's good to see.

No real crowd noise- but thanks to that, you could hear the possibly not quite so immortal special bun screaming at his troops whenever they got on the ball. Then <Jose "Jiminez" Merhino> would fall silent for long stretches. He has to finish the season in proper form or else. Football is fickle and has no mercy.

You can't complain about Reds-Spurs though. Match of the week for me without doubt. Is <Paul get with the Program> living up to his name?! He left no doubt in the re-opener eh? The instant he stepped on he began bossing the field and scored a richly deserved penalty. The finale (18 minutes injury time?) bodes well for Reds and Spurs if that's any indication of their current desire. I think they want that last CHUMPIONS LEAGUE spot amirite.

<Gary Neville> cannot be bought, nor can he be tamed. And yes he grows noticeably grumpier with each passing day. I know because I rarely miss a <Sky Sports> tussle. To be honest <Tyler - Neville - Aircraft Carragher> make a superb team. I would watch that trio commentate 3rd Division Women's Lawn Darts.

Is <Match of the Day> back already? They are also grand and I make no apologies for enjoying <Gary's Liniment> and <Jermain is certainly a Genius> most of all. The MOTD penchant to hire ex-Spurs legends is appealing to all of us who pretend we live in the tunnels at White Hart Lane.

<Gary Neville> vs <Aircraft Carragher>

CAGE MATCH

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But yes, <Martin Roof Tyler> was good even in his former life at ITV.

MOTD is indeed back. Three shows in two days at the weekend. They seemed extra keen to win back some fans. Many of the usual studio pundits, but no <Jermaine Greer> this week.

I’d agree that Pogba looked decent, from what I saw of him, but week after week, ManU are relying on Fernandes to make things happen up front. He is an exceptional talent and workhorse. Nevertheless, it was commendable that <Salt Shaker> found a way to get most of the strike force on the pitch at some point. Also glad to hear that <Scott McDominate> has signed a new contract.

Bergwijn looked sharp in that game. You must be pleased to see a different player shining at WHL. Normally, it’s down to Kane, Son and <Bowling Alli> to create all the chances.

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<Steamed colleagues and friends>

Hmm that may not help matters.

<A Pint and a Flagon>

I loved the BBC announcing teams. I watched the BBC footy casts for years because that's all we got in Canada at the time. Luckily they were superb... What about <Guy Mowbray>? Isn't he still a BBC footy announcer? I love his voice. I heard a lot of him in recent years on MOTD.

That said, my favorite "announcing team" will always forever be whichever team <Gary Neville> casts for.

I almost died laughing whilst watching <Aircraft Carragher> beat the stuffing out of him in a footy trivia contest. Gazza was literally hanging his head in despair...

<Fernando the Lonely Bull> is so much more than a well-loved children's story! Quite right he is owed a lion's share of the props for <ManU's> magnificent streak. I heartily enjoyed watching both of their matches since the re-start. How wonderful it would be if <Fernando> and <Paul Get With the Program> got used to playing as a team. Now "that DOES a midfield make" to paraphrase <Gary Neville's> caustic remark some months ago now.

Have you checked out <Fernando's> highlight reel brah it is magic:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQs...

I thought of you often whilst watching <Reds vs Sheffield>.

Why, you might ask?

Excellent question!

Because I was marveling at how well <Martial Law> and <Herbert Marcuse Rashford> combined in and around the box. You told me they should never be on the pitch at the same time!

Yes as you suspect I have been thrilled to see <Steven Bergwino> begin to assert himself in the side. I predict he will play himself in to a perennial starting role. He is too sharp and hungry to leave out.

<Danny Rosé Wine> will never even see a picture of a Spurs jersey again, and you heard it here first. Simply put, you can't really mix a good <Rosé Wine> with a <Bergwino>.

On a rare serious note, the <Special Bun> will not let him come back. Danny was unhappy for some time before he left, and the side felt it believe me. So did the punters.

At least the traitor <Kyle Walker> justified his black treachery by flourishing for <City>.

I really can’t keep up with all this TV action though. MOTD on again last night … and again tonight … as well as a full match on Sky One. Okay, its only Burnley-Watford, but I’ll be tuning in for the second half in a minute.

Well it’s nice to be thought of … even if it’s only for faulty analysis. To be fair, <Martial Awe> played like a proper centre forward throughout the entire game, instead of hugging the left channel, like he and Rashford normally do. Whether he’s gained some insight, or has had some enlightened coaching, we may never know. It also remains to be seen whether he can be so effective against a defence that isn’t playing as woefully as The Blades, post lockdown. But it was nice to see, so fingers crossed.

I was also thinking of you this evening as it happens. But only because I was using a copy of Chernev’s The Bright Side Of Chess as a tablemat for a hot plate. Multi-tasking with chess books was never in my range prior to reading your posts.

<Tim> AHHHHH

Hippie? HIPPIE?? We don't need no stinking hippies.

"I Am a Hippie and So Can You"

Universal Truism

[Event "Chigorin Team Cup"]
[Site "Kalinin URS"]
[Date "1950.12.??"]
[Round "?"]
[White "Nikolay Dmitrievich Grigoriev"]
[Black "Semyon Abramovich Furman"]
[Result "1-0"]
[Source "rusbase"]

1. d4 Nf6 2. c4 g6 3. Nc3 Bg7 4. e4 d6 5. f3 O-O 6. Bg5 c5 7. d5 h6 8. Be3 e6 9. Qd2 exd5 10. exd5 Kh7 11. O-O-O Na6 12. Bd3 Ng8 13. h4 f5 14. h5 g5 15. g4 Kh8 16. f4 gxf4 17. Bxf4 fxg4 18. Nge2 Bf5 19. Bxf5 Rxf5 20. Rdg1 Qe7 21. Rxg4 Nf6 22. Ng3 Nxg4 23. Nxf5 Qf6 24. Nxg7 Qxg7 25. Bxd6 Rd8 26. Re1 Qd4 27. Qxd4+ cxd4 28. Nb5 Rc8 29. b3 Nc5 30. Bxc5 Rxc5 31. d6 Nf6 32. d7 Nxd7 33. Re8+ Kg7 34. Re7+ Kf6 35. Rxd7 a6 36. Nxd4 b5 37. Rd6+ Ke5 38. Rd5+ 1-0

<WRONG PLAYER>

NIKOLAY DMITRIEVICH GRIGORIEV
(born Aug-14-1895, died Nov-10-1938, 43 years old) Russia

<L Grigoriev>?

If history has taught us anything it's that nobody wants a geezer all up in their junk.>

Almost everything I post is supposed to be funny. I don't care what it means. If it sounds funny, I post that baby.

I'm not sure if the terms "geezer" and "junk" are known in Kiwiland.

<Boomie> What are you doing getting all up in my grill, Ese.