"All the nightmares came today, and it looks like they're here to stay..."

<TV Teem>

I remember that show! "What's my Line"!!!

I'm going to go with...

Sorry to hear about your mum’s stroke. I hope she is still on the road to recovery and finding ways to occupy herself during this neverending pandemic.

This latter point is precisely what is causing my own mum a lot of grief right now. Her entire social life revolved around various groups at the local church hall. Needless to say, the church closed its doors a long while ago. Now she is unable to do all the keep-fit stuff, table tennis and the like, and the lack of socializing is screwing up her mental health. She’s aged 10 years in the past year and has become much less mobile, and very forgetful. I’ll spare you the full chapter and verse, but I’ve had to double up on my visits and generally stay much longer each time, or I dare say I’d have to add clinical depression to her list of ailments. The visits she gets from family do seem to cheer her up a bit, but have limited effect, mainly because she might not remember it ever happened.

As a consequence, my footy watching has waned somewhat. I did however notice that <Joseph Kevin Keegan> turned 70. How the heck did that happen? Feels like some kind of time warp. Also, that United reject <Jesse Mudgard> has suddenly decided to confound his critics. Might turn out to be wasted effort down at the ‘Ammers of course, but hopefully the Red Devils will see some benefits long term. Either we get a rejuvenated player back at the end of his loan spell, or we stick a huge price tag on him.

When I get a chance, I’ve got that Jack Charlton feature length film to watch. It looks a dour affair, but it's got to be seen.

Spurs and ManU both going (fairly) steady at the moment. They do however meet at the weekend, so one of us will likely be crying into our beer. Only metaphorically of course, given that we are a pair of lightweight teetotallers.

<PMD> I'm sorry to hear about your old mum brah. It seems the epidemic causes all manner of misery, mainly to the old folk.

I watched <Jussi Smollet's> last match as a HAMMER and he was player of the week for me. Who knew? Maybe he just needed to feel like a bigger fish in a smaller pond. I never saw a footier look so happy as he did, posting yet another stellar outing. I was happy for him. If <West Ham> has any sense they would start borrowing money from loan sharks to bank up for a BIG BUY at the end of the loan period.

TBH I'm happy for anyone who doesn't have to play for Reds or Spurs. I don't believe either gaffer fits either club. Not any more anyway. Both our sides have endlessly deep pockets and rich history- but if the gaffer isn't a fit it's not going to work. Whatever happens in the dressing room will inevitably leak on to the pitch.

I could go on all day, but just one example- when <Deli Alli> finally recovered his form in a magnificent display in a match- his first for a year, it seems- THEN YOU PLAY HIM EVERY MATCH.

It's called "getting a star match fit" and if you don't do it you will lose the star.

<David Levy> = sub par owner. <Merhino> not a fit for current Spurs squad. Either fire him or all the players, one or the other.

<Portobello>

Well I watched your side against my side and there was no doubt. <Pogba> put in a shift did he not! Man of the match for me.

Also in the first half that was the worst application of VAR nonsense I ever saw in my life.

If <McTominay> doesn't go off, then it wasn't a foul and the GOAL STANDS. The only way to cancel the goal is to award the second foul to McTominay and he's off and the goal is null.

What garbage to jimmy with the VAR "rules" which they seem to make up and re-make up on a daily basis. VAR causes more problems than it solves.

In the second half it was a demolition- GOLLY SALTSHAKER outgaffed Merhinho as well with the subs.

If Merinho can't beat Pepper Gladiola in the EFL CUP then he's out you heard it here first. Well probably not first eh.

If he makes it that far! Spurs in freefall again and after 15 years I am getting tired of this.

Sean Dyche? I like it. He's worked wonders with zero budget. Always tempting to give those guys a chance, even if it doesn't always work out.

Prospects for both sides at WHL. I thought the Harry Hotspurs had struck an all important psychological blow with that early goal. However, it turned out that United weren’t so much deflated, as hadn’t yet got going.

<Poggers> had one of his great games, no doubt about it. Noteworthy too were <Caveman> and <Mason Dreamgood> who linked together very effectively, the latter as provider and scorer. I do hope he is absorbing some vital lessons partnering the old maestro.

The <Scott McTerminate> incident can be seen in many different ways. I probably wouldn’t go so far as to say it was simply a non-offensive trailing arm with no intent, even though most of the MOTD experts were indeed saying this. To me, he deliberately extended it outwards to block the run of <Son Yi Jim> and would have connected at chest level for a regular ‘fend off’ if Son had been where he thought he was. But due to Son being further back, the flailing arm caught him in the face. Refs normally allow these fending off moves to go unpunished, especially if there is no elbow involved. Probably that should have been the case here, but VAR is causing refs to abandon their ‘live feel’ for the action and instead, indulge in a thorough, forensic investigation. Just one more reason to scrap it I think.

<Steve Archibald> was recently voted "GREATEST SCOTSMAN IN HISTORY" by an important poll that included just me and a few mates.

Still, <Archibald> was chuffed! He gave a lengthy acceptance speech on "ScottyFooty/live/Scotsmen.org" which was warmly received by an eager internet audience.

<Steve Archibald> bit of all right, amirite! Phwoarr

Game Collection: Baltische Heft 1

#2

[Event "Dorpat Chess Club"]
[Site "Dorpat RUE"]
[Date "1862.02.05"]
[Round "?"]
[White "Hermann Karl Eduard Clemenz"]
[Black "Friedrich Amelung"]
[Result "0-1"]
[ECO "C33"]
[Source "Baltische Schachblatter No.1 p.28"]

1. e4 e5 2. f4 exf4 3. Bc4 Qh4+ 4. Kf1 g5 5. d4 Bg7 6. Nc3 c6 7. g3 fxg3 8. Kg2 Qh6 9. hxg3 Qg6 10. Nf3 h6 11. Rf1 d6 12. Nxg5 hxg5 13. Bxf7+ Qxf7 14. Rxf7 Kxf7 15. Bxg5 Bh3+ 16. Kf2 Nd7 17. Qf3+ Ngf6 18. Re1 Bg4 19. Qf4 Rh2+ 20. Ke3 Kg8 21. Kd3 Ne5+ 22. dxe5 dxe5 23. Qxe5 Rd8+ 24. Kc4 Re8 25. Qd6 Be6+ 26. Kd3 Bf8 27. Qd4 Ng4 28. Re2 <Bg7 29. Qg1 Rh5 30. Bh4 Ne5+ 31. Ke3 Rf8 32. Rg2 Bh6+ 33. Ke2 Bc4+ 34. Kd1 Rf1+ and wins. >
0-1
_______________________

Game Collection: Baltische Heft 2

#49-51, 57,58 Nicolayev = Mykolaiv (RUE) not (St. Petersburg) RUE" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mykol...

#61 Riga RUE (LAT) not EST
#60,62 N von Nolcken not van (see page 91)
#80 February 1878 pp.125-126
________________________________

Game Collection: Baltische Heft 4

#99 Event "Cafe Prader zu Anfang" only <Cafe Prader> gespielt <zu Anfang> Juni = beginning of the month (June)

#105 + 106 Event "Arensburg (Kuressaare) RUE" Site "Arensburg (Kuressaare) RUE"

#107 + 112 + 116 Site "Dorpat (Tartu) RUE"
#111 Site "Reval (Tallinn) RUE"
#113 Site "Fellin (Vil<j>andi) RUE"

#131 Indecipherable score : here is my version

[Event "Odds game"]
[Site "Reval (Tallinn) RUE"]
[Date "1884.06.23"]
[Round "?"]
[White "Friedrich Amelung"]
[Black "Krueger"]
[Result "1-0"]
[Source "Baltische Schachblatter no.4, pp.283-284"] [FEN "

click for larger view

"]

Barry Davies: "It's the year of the Cockerel"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1a...

Also: I think a lot is made of competition for places, like it's a universally good thing. Yet it may have been dispiriting for Lingard. Week in and week out, he was being asked to outperform the glut of attacking midfielders that Olly had on rotation. There was more interest in keeping everyone happy than there was in allowing players to settle in their roles.

His skill set was in short supply at West Ham, so he's getting lots of adulation when he does well, and probably will not be axed when he has a quiet time. Less pressure is what some players need.

Err, hello. That pollster panel is corrupt, biased, and very much mistaken.

Alex Ferguson, Denis Law, Sean Connery and Andy Murray would clearly top that (modern times) list. <Archibald> limps into 5th place on a good day, if the wind's in the right direction ... but is being pushed hard by Ewan McGregor and James McAvoy.

<PortMoresbyDragon>

I always liked <Shinguard>. Always.

Re: The Queen I can confirm what you said, although recent science has proven that she thinks Scotland is an island.

<PaintMyDagonByHowardPhillipsLovecraft>

Great list of Scottballers though, I have to admit. <Denis Law> in particular.

You're missing at least one though. <Kevin Hector> was born in Leeds, Scotland.

<PMD> remember "letters to the editor" in VIZ?

My all-time favorite:

"The other day a motorcyclist crashed into my hedge, and requested permission to come into my flat and use the phone.

Denis lays down the law:

Marvelous. Shaky footage, but it still captures how good <Denis Law> was. Like <Greavesie>, we could easily compare him to a Suarez or Aguero nowadays.

Yes, that VIZ Letterbocks entry is a classic. I will endeavor to dig out a few from the new Annual, which I received for my birthday.

Two new cartoon strips that I noticed there. <Salvation Arnie>, in which Schwarzenegger joins the Salvation Army and uses his Hollywood catchphrases to intimidate and suppress the junkies and homeless.

The other is called <Dragon Rider>. From what I could gather, the Queen of Dragons is solely preoccupied with finding a saddle suitable for a dragon. Otherwise, the spikes on its back are making for a very uncomfortable ride and a lot of bum chafing.

After all these years ... still a compelling read.

-----------

Kevin Hector: Hmmm, The Queen neglected to inform me, that for historical purposes, Leeds was now to be regarded as being in Scotland. I will have harsh words when we next speak.

She did however make it clear that <Kevin Hector> was born in Leeds Castle, which is famously nowhere near Leeds. In his honour, the castle is informally known as ‘Hector’s House’ and provided the inspiration for the TV series of that name. In this episode, Hector speaks of his Scottish cousin, McHector.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Lu...

I hope that clears up any remaining confusion.

---------------

Two more contenders for Greatest Scotsmen. <Jackie Stewart> – I recall that you were a F1 fan of the 70s/80s and may therefore approve.

Also <David Byrne> of Talking Heads. I suspect no-one saw that coming, but for sure he is at least part-Scottish.

<PaintMyScotsman>

In case I didn't post this before, but I probably already posted it more than once:

"If the Scotch people stopped drinking so much Scotch whiskey they could save up enough money to leave Scotland."

-Stephen Leacock

==============

lol also on VIZ remember "Top Tips?"

My all time favorite which I ACTUALLY TRIED in my own apartment:

"Hang empty corn flake packets from the lintels of all the doors in your house. That way, you will be reminded that you are passing from one room into another"

<Pmd> lolol

My favorite all time VIZ full length news article:

Church managers certainly need to get creative with the sideshows, whist drives, Friday night clubs, jumble sales etc. or they slowly crumble to dust.

Many here have closed down completely, and whilst the structure is usually subject to a conservation order, the planners have become quite flexible on what they can be used for. Favoured after-uses are art galleries, art studios, curio fairs, and the like. The arty types are more likely to spend money on tasteful decoration, re-modelling and regular maintenance.

I'm not entirely sure why people in the UK/Europe have shunned conventional church services in recent times. When I was a nipper, most folk sent their kids to church, not so much because they had religious beliefs, but because they wanted their kids to mix in those circles and avoid the criminal types.

I guess nowadays the kids are too fashion conscious to do anything that popular culture deems uncool, so nobody bothers much, aside from weddings and funerals.

Added to that, many of our most popular figures, like Ricky Gervais, Stephen Fry, Brian Cox etc. are fairly outspoken non-believers. This may also be an influence on the masses.