Stop me if you've heard this one.

@ <offramp>:

We could do a limerick-by-committee. I will give the first line and someone different does each other line...

Here goes, Please offer the second line to this chessy limerick:

<A chess player named Ernst Falkbeer,...>

<Always kept a spare clock near...>

<Always kept a spare clock near...>

<So at any point of day...>

That at least sounds like it *should* be true.

<offramp:

A chess player named Ernst Falkbeer
Always kept a spare clock near.
So at any point of day.
With a sweet lass he could play
And with whom he could eat, drink and talk beer.>

<<>This limerick has registered only 4.5 on the <Internet Huskisson Sliding Limerick Appraisal Index (IHSLAI).>>

Ah, in steps the master, to finish the limerick without having to reject profane and x-rated entries.

<<A Countergambit, front and rear,>
Is not for those who play with fear,>

He is bowling 300 at the moment with his pun submissions, and he adds a huge amount to this site all around.

A Countergambit, front and rear.
It's not for those who play with fear.
Because if you hear voices...
Or unexplainable noises...
The ghost of Albin will appear.

First, Alexis seized Otto by the waistband of his trousers and swung him round and round in the air. I could see Otto's face as he went round: the same mute courage was written on it as when he turned to run. Alexis swung Otto round and round until his waistband broke, and he was thrown into the grass.

That was the first part of the fight.

Then Alexis stood beside Otto and kicked him from behind as he lay in the grass, and they fought like that for some time. That was the second part of the fight. Then came the third and last part. Alexis picked up the easel and smashed the picture over Otto's head. It fastened itself like a collar about his neck. Then Alexis picked Otto up with the picture round his neck and threw him into the stream.

He floated!

My paladin!

He floated!

I could see his upturned face as he floated onwards down the stream, through the meadow! It was full of deep resignation.

Then Alexis Alexovitch came to me and gathered me up in his arms and carried me thus across the meadow - he is so tall and strong - and whispered that he loved me, and that tomorrow he would shield me from the world. He carried me thus to the house in his arms among the grass and flowers; and there was my father, Ivan Ivanovitch, and my mother, Katoosha Katooshavitch. And tomorrow I am to marry Alexis. He had brought back from the inn my jewels and my money, and he gave me again the diamond clasp that Otto had taken from my waist.

How can I bear it? Alexis is to take me to St Petersburg, and he has bought a beautiful house in the Prospekt, and I am to live in it with him, and we are to be rich, and I am to be presented at the Court of Nicholas Romanoff and his wife. Ah! Is it not dreadful?

<And I can only think of Otto floating down the stream with the easel about his neck. From the little river he will float into the Dnieper, and from the Dnieper into the Bug, and from the Bug he will float down the Volga, and from the Volga into the Caspian Sea. And from the Caspian Sea there is no outlet, and Otto will float round and round it for ever.>

Is it not dreadful?

I am certain that England will score no more than 4 goals in this entire World Cup, so I am hoping they will score none tomorrow, so that the 4 goals can be spread out among the next games.