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offramp
Member since Aug-16-03 · Last seen Apr-29-26
The Kindle app might have saved my life. My house was full of books. Now I am able to actually get rid of books.

I was born in Clapham, London. I am therefore a supporter of Chelsea FC. My son supports Arsenal FC.

I love travelling around Europe, by train. I try to speak in various languages by almost everyone I meet speaks English, which is a good thing.

??????

Some chess books that I think are outstanding:

1. <Fundamental Chess Endgames>, by Müller & Lamprecht, reprinted 2020. 400pp+, £25.

2. <Secrets of Practical Chess>, by Dr Nunn. 256pp (the USUAL 256pp!, i.e. the usual 2^8). £20.

3. <Capablanca's Best Chess Endings>, Irving Chernev's best work. 300pp. £15.

4. <107 Great Chess Battles 1939-1945>, written by Alexander Alekhine, but edited by Edward Winter. 256pp, £15.

5 (a) <Petrosian Year by Year Volume 1 (1942-1962)>, and - Karolyi & Gyozalyan, 484pp.
(b) <Petrosian Year by Year Volume 2 (1963-1984)> - Karolyi & Gyozalyan, 516pp.
They are £34 each. I bought one, then a few months later, the other volume.
They are available in Kindle format!

6. <The Queen's Gambit Accepted: A Sharp and Sound Response to 1. d4> by Chris Ward.
Ward wrote a superb book about the QGD, many years ago. I think this is useful for a book about the QGA. A total antidote to 1. d4, 2. c4.

And now some total clinkers. NOT those well-known garbage chess books.

The following are really bad chess books.

1. <Capablanca: A Compendium of Games, Notes, Articles, Correspondence, Illustrations and Other Rare Archival Materials on the Cuban Chess Genius Jose Raul Capablanca, 1888-1942> by Edward Winter. 360pp. c. £35. The title is the best thing.

2. <Larsen: Move by Move> - Cyrus Lakdawala
Paperback, 488pp.

3. <Emanuel Lasker Volumes 1, 2 & 3 - Forster, Negele & Tischbierek>. £55 each.
This book is unbelievably boring and tedious. Just look through it, then forget about it.
AT THIS SAME TIME a totally superb book has just come out: <Emanuel Lasker All Games Volume 1 & 2: 1889-1940 (2 books)>, £55 for two books:
Volume 1 covers the time Lasker became World Champion and played matches against Steinitz (twice for the World Championship), Bird and Blackburne amongst others. He also took part several famous tournaments including Hastings 1895, St Petersburg 1895-96 and Nuremberg 1896.

Volume 2 covers the time Lasker played matches against Marshall, Tarrasch, Janowski, Schlechter and Capablanca for the World Championship. He also took part several famous tournaments including St Petersburg 1914, New York 1924, Moscow 1935 & 1936 and Nottingham 1936.

Hardbacks, 388 and 342 pages, Russian Chess House. A real bargain.

4. <Pal Benko : My Life, Games and Compositions>, £140. Who is the most famous chess player out of Benko and Fischer? Who published the most plush, most opulent book? Benko.

.....
Here are another 7 books:

<He received a letter from his bookseller, informing him that only seven copies had been sold, and concluding with a polite request for the balance.
Scythrop <[SKI-throp]> did not despair. <Seven copies,> he thought, <have been sold. Seven is a mystical number, and the omen is good. Let me find the seven purchasers of my seven copies, and they shall be the seven golden candlesticks with which I will illuminate the world.>.>

>> Click here to see offramp's game collections.

Chessgames.com Full Member
   Current net-worth: 1,436 chessbucks
[what is this?]

   offramp has kibitzed 25967 times to chessgames   [more...]
   Apr-28-26 TePe Sigeman & Co (2026) (replies)
 
offramp: User: Atterdag , I have seen many pictures of the superb Øresund Bridge. I feel sick thinking about crossing that strait; when you start to cross, there is no escape. Ask User: setnoescapeon .
 
   Apr-28-26 Chessgames - TV and Films (replies)
 
offramp: On telly tonight there is a film called <Murders in Sarlat>. It's 90min; it is part of a police series. I want to see another on of 'em: <Murders in Lille>. I know that town really well.
 
   Apr-28-26 offramp chessforum
 
offramp: I have decided to list my 12 favourite chess games. I am going to post these one-by-one, whenever they pop into my brain. So I'll be posting games with a star rating (so that later I'll be able to produce the actual top 12 list). Here is a Karpov defensive draw. Polugaevsky vs ...
 
   Apr-28-26 A P Barnes vs NN, 1874 (replies)
 
offramp: User: FSR is right about this funny omelet. Bouncing Barnes, John Barnes , invented the spherical omelet. John C Barnes , Baby-Face Barnes, only ate poppadums and omelets: they were the only food that could pass under his door.
 
   Apr-27-26 A McCarthy vs L Penny, 1974 (replies)
 
offramp: For the game: 💣/★★★★★★ (0 out of 6 stars) LOWEST RATING. This could be the worst game in the database at chessgames.com. This game have no redeeming qualities. To draw attention to an obviously weak player - is a bit unsporting. For the pun: ✮/★★★★★★ ...
 
   Apr-27-26 O Feldman vs Savon, 1959
 
offramp: Savon 99.44% accurate.
 
   Apr-26-26 Bobby Fischer (replies)
 
offramp: <60MG> in Uedemann Code starts, <"1. GEGO Best by test!">
 
   Apr-26-26 J Carleton vs G Pyrich, 1994 (replies)
 
offramp: <"Yeah another victory like that and we're done for, good evening folks I'll be here as king every night I'll see ya!">
 
   Apr-25-26 Aronian vs I Khamrakulova, 1993 (replies)
 
offramp: Is this the only game in chess history that is "99% tactics"? What makes this game stand out as having "99% tactics"?
 
   Apr-25-26 Viktor Komliakov (Popa)
 
offramp: <Messiah: Popa? Is that a nickname?> <Popa> is a rank in the hierarchy in the Roman Catholic Church. The rank is immediately above Cardinal and slightly lower than Jesus Christ.
 
(replies) indicates a reply to the comment.

Ye Olde Offrampe Predicktions

Kibitzer's Corner
< Earlier Kibitzing  · PAGE 51 OF 90 ·  Later Kibitzing>
Oct-12-18  thegoodanarchist: Nigel Short :

"Why, yes, now that I look closely, I CAN see your nose hair braid!"

#potemkinescalator

Oct-12-18
Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: "I bet Chessgames.com would love to make a pun about this game."

#potemkingoosesteps

Oct-12-18  Count Wedgemore: "Just wait till you see what I've got planned for Garry's obituary!"

#odessastepsnotpotemkinstepsyoumorons

Oct-12-18
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Yu crazy guys! What a laugh I have had. Many thanks.
Oct-12-18
Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: "I don't mean to brag, but did you know I was a potential future vice-president of the World Chess Federation."?

#potemkinsteppes

Oct-13-18  Tiggler: SOPHIE MILLIET: "I prefer to play in the octagon."

http://bangkokchess.com/wp-content/...

#sincityfetish

Oct-14-18
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: SHORT: “Dvorkovitch said I had Battleship Potemkin... I mean management potential.”
Oct-15-18  thegoodanarchist: Thankfully, <Tiggler> finally adopted a good avatar...
Oct-16-18
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Brett Kavanaugh writes:

<"I would like to thank Offramp for the opportunity to <judge 😂😂> this wonderful caption competition, following in the footsteps of previous judges such as the eminent Sir Richard Branson, Harvey Weinstein, Elon Musk, Morgan Freeman and Ekkapol Chantawong.

This will be my first official duty as Supreme Court Justice, and what a great one it is!

Okay, on with the show!!

Winner is Tiggler. Goodbye.">

So, many thanks to Mr Brett Kavanaugh who has chosen Tiggler's entry,

<SOPHIE MILLIET: "I prefer to play in the octagon.">

Tiggler's prize, a set of 3 wheelchair-enabled steps, is on its way.

I have sent them to the Post Office in Jackson County, Kentucky USA.

Simply approach the clerk and say in a big loud voice,

"<I am Tiggler and I want disabled steps, goddammit!>

Commiserations to all the losers.

There might be another CC next week.

Oct-16-18
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Brett Kavanaugh writes:

<"Not that one, the OTHER one you numbskull. Sheesh.">

Okay, so the winning caption is:

<SHORT: "You should have heard Tony Miles's missus scream when I boffed her.">

The prize is the same, and it will be sent to the same place.

Oct-17-18
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: User: sceptic I have done as you asked, although I am not sure if you were being serious. So I have copied it out in handwriting and stuck it on the fridge with a Jackson County magnet. That way it is not lost forever.
Oct-17-18
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Hear the word of the Lord:

<Moses said, "I asked Pharaoh's daughter if he had large flocks, and were they in Egypt?"

Leah said, "God gave my voice to the land, and for a long time my words were my lord's".

Then there arose a wail from a cave, and Moses took the Pharaoh's servant and his wife, and said to them at the cave,

"Behold, thou canst not interpret it: for my soul may give according to what has come to pass and when Pharaoh hardened his heart the Lord hardened and sea and covered the way."

And Moses stood in Pharaoh's presence.>

Oct-17-18
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: OEUFS À LA BORDELAISE SAUCE

Take some milk and sprinkle on some mutton.

Put a stick of celery stalk side up in a large cup of yolks.

Leave them for two hours. Add some pointed almonds with their skins, but not very good deal of butter the white peppers

Slip the top, and salt, and smooth them one lemon. Make some chopped celery put them in the jar.

Oct-18-18
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp:
<CAPTION COMPETITION #7>

Let's have another Caption Competition!

https://images.chesscomfiles.com/up...

Simply provide an English sentence to accompany that picture of Carlsen playing Caruana.

The guest judge is Julian Assange.

The winner will receive a set of three wheelchair-enabled steps.

Let's go!!

Oct-18-18
Premium Chessgames Member
  Check It Out: MC: do you see my name on the wall? We'll analyze right here!

FC: but they said we are supposed to go over there...

Oct-18-18
Premium Chessgames Member
  moronovich: MC:Would you please change your underwears before next game !
Oct-18-18  thegoodanarchist: <offramp:
<CAPTION COMPETITION #7>

Let's have another Caption Competition!

https://images.chesscomfiles.com/up...

Simply provide an English sentence to accompany that picture of Carlsen playing Caruana.>

Provide an English sentence? Ten years in the Tower of London?

Oops, wrong kind... how about this:

MC: Isn't this the chess set I gave to Aronian on his birthday?

FC: I salvaged it from his trash bin. This must be awkward for you.

Oct-18-18
Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: Caption Contest #7:

"Not that one, the OTHER one you numbskull. Sheesh."

#potatoheadsteps

Oct-18-18
Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: MC: My two bladed scissors beats your one bladed scissors.

FC: No, it's a draw!

#rockscissorspotato

Oct-18-18  Count Wedgemore: <CAPTION COMPETITION #7>

MC: "And then he tricked me, by illegally checking my king!"

FC: "But what did you expect? The guy's a Communist."

Oct-18-18
Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: Very good <Count> I had that idea, most of my efforts focused on FC having done it too, but never came up with something good.
Oct-19-18  Count Wedgemore: <OCF> Thanks. Yes, I am very pleased with this one. If our friend <offie> hasn't been bribed by one of the contestants (you never know), I expect to win this one handsomely now. The wheelchair-enabled steps should be mine! AND MINE ONLY.
Oct-19-18
Premium Chessgames Member
  Check It Out: Did you say bribed? Why didn’t I think of that? Seeing as how <Offramp> is obviously back on his feet and off the special ramp steps, he clearly needs an original pair of Michael Jordan Air Jordans. I’m talking circa 1984, here, mint condition. What’s your size?
Oct-19-18
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Julian Assange writes:

<The weekend starts here!

Greetings from the Uruguayan Embassy or whatever country it is.

Many thanks to <Offramp> for asking me to judge this vital competition.

The standard of entries was quite extraordinarily high, and I read them over and over and over again, forwards and backwards.

I also read them out to my beloved cat, <Michi> and he or she chose the winner by sending waves of Orgone energy through the aether to my brain.

The winner is User: Count Wedgemore.>

Many thanks to Mr Assange and his cat, Michi.

User: Count Wedgemore your three wheelchair-enabled steps will be sent to this address:

His Excellency Count Wedgemore
c/o Poste Restante
Post Office
299 Main St,
Norway,
Maine
USA 04268.

Very well done!

Oct-19-18
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Just t keep you up-to-date, the MAKE THE POTEMKIN STEPS WHEELCHAIR ACCESSIBLE FUND now stands at 76 brass Stotinki (🍾76).

Many thanks to the Ukrainian Government in Exile.

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