User Profile: phony benoni

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Phony Benoni
Member since Feb-10-06 · Last seen Jun-11-22

Greetings, O Seeker After Knowledge! You have arrived in Dearborn, Michigan (whether you like it or not), and are reading words of wisdom from a player rated 2938--plus or minus 1000 points.
However, I've retired from serious play--not that I ever took playing chess all that seriously. You only have to look at my games to see that. These days I pursue the simple pleasures of finding games that are bizarre or just plain funny. I'd rather enjoy a game than analyze it.
For the record, my name is David Moody. This probably means nothing to you unless you're a longtime player from Michigan, though it's possible that if you attended any US Opens from 1975-1999 we might have crossed paths. Lucky you.
If you know me at all, you'll realize that most of my remarks are meant to be humorous. I do this deliberately, so that if my analysis stinks to High Heaven I can always say that I was just joking.
As you can undoubtedly tell from my sparkling wit, I'm a librarian in my spare time. Even worse, I'm a cataloger, which means I keep log books for cattle. Also, I'm not one of those extroverts who sit at the Reference Desk and help you with research. Instead, I spend all day staring at a computer screen updating and maintaining information in the library's catalog. The general public thinks Reference Librarians are dull. Reference Librarians think Catalogers are dull.
My greatest achievement in chess, other than tricking you into reading this, was probably mating with king, bishop and knight against king in a tournament game. I have to admit that this happened after an adjournment, and that I booked up like crazy before resuming. By the way, the fact I have had adjourned games shows you I've been around too long.
My funniest moment occurred when I finally got a chance to pull off a smothered mate in actual play. You know, 1.Nf7+ Kg8 2.Nh6+ Kh8 3.Qg8+ Rxg8 4.Nf7#. When I played the climactic queen check my opponent looked at the board in shocked disbelief and said, "But that's not mate! I can take the queen!"

Finally, I must confess that I once played a positional move, back around 1982. I'll try not to let that happen again.

>> Click here to see phony benoni's game collections.

   Phony Benoni has kibitzed 18634 times to chessgames [more...]

   Jun-11-22 M Blau vs Keres, 1959

Phony Benoni: Not a good recommendation for the DERLD. Out of 59 moves, White makes only three in Black's half of the board. And two of those conist of 3.Bb5 and 6.Bxc6.

   Jun-11-22 chessgames.com chessforum

Phony Benoni: Er, it's back. Karpov vs Timman, 1988

   Jun-10-22 Orlo Milo Rolo

Phony Benoni: Marco!

   Jun-10-22 Lilienthal vs Bondarevsky, 1947

Phony Benoni: Another one for you King Hunters. Black's monarch travels fron g8 to b8, then takes the Great Circle Route back to h3 before calling it a day.

   Jun-10-22 GrahamClayton chessforum

Phony Benoni: <GrahamClayton> I've posted a question for you at L T Magee vs J Holland, 1948

   Jun-10-22 L T Magee vs E L Holland, 1948

Phony Benoni: <GrahamClayton> The source you cite, <Chess Review, May 1948, p. 24>, gives Black's name as <E Holland> "Chess Life" (June 5, 1948, p. 1) has a table of results giving <E L Holland>. That form also appears in USCF rating supplements for a player fro ...

   Jun-09-22 Biographer Bistro

Phony Benoni: SkinnVer Here Among the Fold?

   Jun-09-22 Flohr vs Bondarevsky, 1947

Phony Benoni: Black's bishop makes me think of Godzilla emerging from the depths of the ocean to wreak havoc. However, in the end it's his Two Little Friends who steal the show. Well, maybe not so litt.

   Jun-06-22 W Ritson-Morry vs G T Crown, 1947

Phony Benoni: it was the last round. Rison-Morry was mired in last place. These things happen.

   Jun-06-22 W Adams vs M Kagan, 1947

Phony Benoni: Some more informztion. The game was published in <Chess Review>, March 1948, p. 23. Black's name is given as "M Kagan", and the location as "Massachusetts". There is no other game data, but I think we can now safely assume Black is <Milton Kagan>. Earlier in the ...

indicates a reply to the comment.

Living in the Past

< Earlier Kibitzing · PAGE 687 OF 914 · Later Kibitzing>
Jun-30-15		whiteshark: <DIR♙♙ alert> Five-time World Champion gone + won with TIRP (tripple DIR♙♙♙): Anand vs Baklan, 2007

Jun-30-15		Phony Benoni: Travis, Watt would have to catch Howe first. And don't misunderstand ol' Gordie. Despite his clean-cut appearance, he had a reputation for being one of the nastiest players around if he got riled up. You messed with Howe, you paid the price. By the way, you may have heard that Howe (87) suffered a series of life-threatening strokes last year. He's not fully recovered (and probably never will be), , but he's come back enough to be back skating again. Watt may get his chance yet.

Jun-30-15		Travis Bickle: <Phony Benoni> I didn't know Howe was so incapacitated & ill, so I'm sorry for making a joke about him. It seems like you have a sense of humor with your clique, (Bartle, wannabe, etc.), but with me you're bitterly & sarcastically dead serious at all times!! F#@% it I tried to be friends... P.S. Watt breaking Gordie Howe's back would be so ridiculously cruel that it would be more humane for him to strangle a 100 year old woman.

Jun-30-15		Jim Bartle: Listening to Olbermann, the family had believed he was about to die last year, but he recovered. Olbermann did a fantastic show where he asked people to send in photos of Howe with fans. Just unbelievable: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeD... Starts about 1:30.

Jun-30-15		WannaBe: Nice article on the '57 Cincinnati "ballot stuffin'", did not know there's a beer called "Burger Beer"... http://espn.go.com/mlb/story/_/id/1...

Jun-30-15		Phony Benoni: Travis, I apologize for not making it clear the my note about Howe's health had nothing to do with our little back-and-forth about him and J J Watt. That was just the sort of horseplay fans indulge in from time to time. I certainly wasn't taking it seriously in the least. The only reason I put in the note about Howe's health was just to state that it was improving. The news of his illness was quite public, and I didn't think the word about his recovery had gotten out. If I seem to speak differently with than with others, it's because you're a distinct personality iwtha voice all your own, and I like to try and answer in the same vein. I'm really trying to laugh with you, even if I do a poor job and it doesn't seem that way. Often, my humor lies in making ridiculous statements with a straight face. This works better in person than on the Internet. And, yes, I can be sarcastic, but I try to be humorous instead of cutting of hateful. If something seems absurd to me, I'll point it out, and try to do so humorously. But I always just want to make people think, never to hurt them

Jul-01-15		Travis Bickle: Phony, I'm a little thin skinned at times. For a guy like myself who at times is sarcastic & outspoken I should let things go more. The funny thing is when you make a joke in your exaggerated style with someone else I see your joke right away, but with myself It goes right over my head. I guess I have a weird sense of humor & I usually use photo's or videos from the net to get my jokes across. My cheering on The Blackhawks on the Cafe & your forum sometimes I guess from another guys point of view could be obnoxious but not intended to be that way. I like to try to entertain with music or pics of the coach with dialogue like a cartoonist. Or my yearly Bears heads I show you to help me decide which Bearhat to choose for the season. ; P

Jul-01-15		Phony Benoni: Travis, you've been around here enough that I think I understand where you're coming from, and I try to have fun with it rather than take it too seriously. But this time I said something that obviously bothered you, and I wanted to acknowledge my mistake. A little cooling off period often does a lot of good, and I wish that happened more on the entire site -- or, for that matter, the world in general.

Jul-01-15		Phony Benoni: Moving on to less serious matters: I recently came across instructions for a simple dice baseball game. I mean simple. No strategy, no adjustments for ability, just roll them bones. http://www.baseballprojection.com/s... A pair of dice is used, and the numbers read separately. Here are the most important roles 11 / 21 = Walk 12, 13 / 22, 23 = Single 14, 24 = Double 15, 25 = Triple 16, 26 = Hone Run 31, 41, 51, 61 = Strikeout 34, 44, 45, 46 = DP with runner on first and less than two out 36, 46, 56, 66 = SF with runner on third and less than two out. The other numbers are miscellaneous outs. This is obviously meant as a fun family activity rather than as a realistic reproduction of real baseball You simply do not have the same number of doubles, triples, and home runs, nor do extra-base hits outnumber singles by 3-2. (Last I looked, the percentages for various hits are more like 67-19-2-12). Having two strikeouts for each walk is not bad (it's running about 2.5 this year), but the percentages are much lower than they should be. One appeal of this is that it's easy to calculate what various statistics should be without irritating problems like player differences. Plus the game can be played very quickly (under ten minutes with a few short-cuts), so I thought I'd run a few games and see what happened. After forty games, here are the exted and actual totals: Batting average: .294; .308 On-base percentage: .333; .351 Slugging percentage: .647; .651 OPS (oh, why not?): .980; 1.002 The hitters got off to a real quick start -- had a 19-15 game early on -- but the averages have been coming down. Walks are a bit higher than expected, but slugging is right in line These four categories should have the same number of occurrences: 2B: 190 3B: 198 HR: 155 WK: 205 Home runs are the only lagger, and again walks are a bit higher than expected so far. 1B: 402 SO: 321 Strikeouts are lagging badly; the ratio should be 2:1, but it's around 1.5:1. This is obviously an offensive game, as the abundance of extra-base hits ensure a lot of scoring. Some stats so far: ERA: 7.55 WHIP: 1.575 Hits/9 innings: 11.65 This is interesting as an experiment in probability rather than for its baseball content., and I doubt I'll do much more with it.

Jul-01-15		perfidious: <PB> Even the 1930 Phils--proud possessors of the worst team ERA ever at a gaudy 6.71--were better, but of course, everywhere plays like old Baker Bowl with all those extra base hits.

Jul-01-15		Phony Benoni: Yet the season record for shutouts, with 16, is held by Grover Cleveland Alexander -- who threw nine of them at Baker Bowl. http://www.retrosheet.org/boxesetc/... Baseball is a funny game.

Jul-01-15		WannaBe: No no alert, Cle and TB!!!

Jul-01-15		WannaBe: There goes the No no...

Jul-01-15		Phony Benoni: So what do you call it when a team scores a run without a hit? A yes-no?

Jul-01-15		Penguincw: Wow, that's like the 4th time in 7 games a pitcher took a no-hitter into the 6th inning (or later) against the Rays.

Jul-02-15		perfidious: Last night, Toronto put up a fiver on Red Sox in the first; tonight, retribution came calling in the form of eight runs by Boston without Blue Jays' starter recording an out, all while throwing 28 pitches.

Jul-02-15		WannaBe: Cardinals fired scouting director. http://espn.go.com/mlb/story/_/id/1...

Jul-02-15		WannaBe: Scherzer gave up another run, he's washed up... Trade him to the Dodgers.

Jul-02-15		perfidious: Yup, that overpaid 'ace' might actually do something in a rotation featuring him as the second-best pitcher. Nerve of the guy to actually be mortal.

Jul-02-15		WannaBe: He lost that game, for crissake. Demote him to AAA.

Jul-03-15		Phony Benoni: They can't do that. You can only send a pitcher back to AAA if they give up no runs. Or you're cancelling your auto insurance.

Jul-03-15		Penguincw: Wow, way too close. Anibal Sanchez was within 5 outs of a no-hitter until the Blue Jays were finally able to get a base hit. Currently, they're still down 8-1, bases loaded, one out in the top of the 8th. Of course, this wouldn't be the first time the Jays have been no-hit by the Tigers (Verlander did it in 2011). UPDATE: Jays had a 6-run 8th, but still lost 8-6. Still, it shows their great fighting spirit; they've won games down 9 runs before.

Jul-03-15		Phony Benoni: It also shows the Tiger's shaky pitching. Sanchez has shown a lot of inconsistency this year, though rarely that drastically. They fired two members of the bullpen today, but that's unlikely to help.

Jul-04-15		Phony Benoni: Unintentional shake-up for the Tigers. Miguel Cabrera goes on the DL for the first time in his career, out six weeks with a calf strain.(Might have been worse; they were talking Achilles Tendon last night.) Glad I didn't buy those playoff tickets early.

Jul-04-15		Penguincw: If you chose to celebrate the 4th of July by watching baseball at your local team's home field, you probably made a good choice, as today, <11> games were won by the home team. COL-ARI is currently 2-2 in ^3, while LAA leads TEX 7-0.

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