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offramp
Member since Aug-16-03 · Last seen Jul-03-25

<Slowly the ivy on the stones
Becomes the stones. Women become
The cities, children become the fields
And men in waves become the sea.>

Chess players that play interesting games:

1. Alekhine
2. Planinc
3. Steinitz
4. Miles
5. Larsen
6. Bronstein
7. Marshall
8. Kamsky.
9. Charousek.

*******

Where is <Cibator>?
Where's the justice?
And when justice is gone
There's always force
And when force is gone
There's always Nafisa Muminova.

>> Click here to see offramp's game collections.

Chessgames.com Full Member
   Current net-worth: 1,436 chessbucks
[what is this?]

   offramp has kibitzed 24184 times to chessgames   [more...]
   Jul-03-25 offramp chessforum
 
offramp: I went to confession but I couldn't resist bashing one out.
 
   Jul-03-25 B Thipsay vs J Goldberg, 2002
 
offramp: Can you speak pig Latin? <Thipsay ixnay the oojay!>
 
   Jul-03-25 M Basman vs B Thipsay, 1991 (replies)
 
offramp: His lips say Thipsay. His lips say Thipsay. His lips say Thipsay. No. I can't do it.
 
   Jul-02-25 SuperUnited Rapid Croatia (2025) (replies)
 
offramp: "We are fed up checking you up. You are some kind of nutcase but we are not sure. So we are going to stuff you full of beta-blockers right up to your brimmy brim brim." "Will that make me better?" "No, but you will be less dangerous."
 
   Jul-02-25 D Goodman vs Nunn, 1978 (replies)
 
offramp: A very funny pun for today: <‘S’all>. I really like when we get to the trademark part.
 
   Jul-01-25 chessgames.com chessforum (replies)
 
offramp: Beneath the screen board there is a large ➕, and a move is replayed roughly every 3 seconds. I am a busy man. I want moves to be replayed every <2> seconds. How can I change that rate? At the end of each business day I could have saved 200-300 seconds.
 
   Jul-01-25 Tomashevsky vs V Artemiev, 2025
 
offramp: This is move 82 in a blitz game. [DIAGRAM] White played 83. Kxf4? White is caught in a very old trap. [DIAGRAM] Black would win with 83...Ra4+. This is an interesting game if you play through it quickly.
 
   Jul-01-25 Nodirbek Abdusattorov
 
offramp: <Nervouswreck HadToSitOppoThat>.
 
   Jun-30-25 Karpov vs Kasparov, 1984
 
offramp: <prensdepens: They drew because they were both anxious to get home, maybe.> It was Boxing Day. Chess-Boxing-Day!!
 
   Jun-30-25 Geoff Chandler (replies)
 
offramp: I have a 16-year-old daughter - yeah, I know! (My two kids... I have tried to <NOT> get them involved in chess.) But one day my daughter was going out, to the Oxford Street area. I said to my daughter, "Are you going near the chess shop on Baker Street?" She was happy to to ...
 
(replies) indicates a reply to the comment.

Ye Olde Offrampe Predicktions

Kibitzer's Corner
< Earlier Kibitzing  · PAGE 79 OF 79 ·  Later Kibitzing>
May-29-25  stone free or die: <It is a task only for widows.>

It's said Pope Francais said a rosary everyday. That's two saids in one!

<<The Popes and the Rosary>

This May [2020], during the month dedicated to the Blessed Virgin Mary, Pope Francis has invited the faithful to renew their love for the Most Holy Rosary, a prayer fully immersed in the Gospel.>

https://www.vaticannews.va/en/pope/...

May-30-25  thegoodanarchist: <offramp: I am fed up with characters with eyepatches in films.>

Then don't watch <Breakfast at Tiffany's>

Actually, <do> watch it. I enjoyed the film quite a lot. And there is just one eye patch scene, iirc.

May-30-25  thegoodanarchist: <offramp: I have never said a <rosary>. But I do <own> a rosary. It is incredibly tedious. It is a task only for widows.>

No sir! It is a great means of salvation.

Multiple Popes have warned us of the danger of Freemasonry. Please, sir, repent and be baptized into the Holy Catholic Church.

May-30-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: <Ipsum cerebrum meum ad tectorium sellotapaverunt.>
May-31-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: <thegoodanarchist: <offramp: I am fed up with characters with eyepatches in films.> Then don't watch <Breakfast at Tiffany's>

Actually, <do> watch it. I enjoyed the film quite a lot. And there is just one eye patch scene, iirc.>

I have never watched <BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S>.

I <have> seen the brilliant scenes with Mickey Rooney as the japanese-type. They are really funny.

The book is by Truman Capote. Groucho Marx said, in an interview, that Capote was a big fruit. I don't know what that means.

I'll have a look at YouTube to watch out for the eye-patch scenes.

May-31-25  stone free or die: <The book is by Truman Capote. Groucho Marx said, in an interview, that Capote was a big fruit. I don't know what that means.>

This photograph provides a good example:

https://fairchildgarden.org/wp-cont...

May-31-25  stone free or die: I think Capote kept his pair under wraps:

https://media.npr.org/assets/img/20...

Jun-02-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Irakli Beradze nikto!!

Klaatu barada nikto!

Jun-02-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Is there anyone out there who is, like me, an aficionado of <Ralph Lauren polo shirts>?

I buy the second hand ones, from eBay, roughly £20 to £60.

Here is the question:

<Why do I <never> see two similar Ralph Lauren Polo shirts?>

Surely they don't make the shirts as <one-offs>? Or is the plural <ones-off>?

All the vintage RP Polo shirts are totally different from each other.

Jun-02-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Great news!

It is time for <CAPTION COMPETITION #13>!! Lucky for everyone!

https://en.chessbase.com/portals/al...

(<As expressive as ever - Hikaru Nakamura playing white against Wei Yi | Photo: Michal Walusza>.)

YOU MUST PROVIDE A HILARIOUS, WITTY punchline to that picture in seven thousand words (or less).

The guest judge is <Katy Perry>, the singer and space traveller.

The winner will receive a single wheelchair-enabled step♿♿. Therefore this heirloom will build week-by-week into a complete set of wheelchair-enabled steps AND if you reply within the next two and a half weeks, you may be eligible for 1% off my autobiography <FLYING SAUCERS ARE REAL!!! AND THE SVESHNIKOV B33> (two books intertwined together. 819pp, 1 diagram.).

ALSO, every time you include the hashtag #potemkin, the Ukrainian 💙💙💛💛 government-in-exile will donate one 🇿inc kopek towards my campaign to make the Primorsky Stairs (aka the Potemkin Steps) fully wheelchair accessible.

So have a punt!

Winners will be announced at 6am on 21st June 2025.

Jun-06-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Did you like photography, as a hobby?

There were many magazines about photography, with pages and pages of adverts for camera accessories.

The camera itself, then the lens, and a zoom lens, the motor winder, the flash-gun, filters, tripods, reflecting umbrellas, film, a developing room, paper, acid, silver nitrate, ultra-violet lights, projector, screen, aluminium holdall, wife.

Then, one night, all of that became redundant.
All of that paraphernalia was replaced by the smartphone.

Incredible!

Jun-08-25  ewan14: Is that " the Ox " having a post it connection to chess ?
Jun-08-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: James Bond has two hearts. His only weapon is an electric screwdriver. He smokes a meerschaum pipe full of dope.
Jun-08-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: <ewan14: Is that " the Ox " having a post it connection to chess ?>

I don't think I have ever used the word <ox> at chessgames...

Jun-08-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: User: ewan14, I see the post now.

X Xu vs R Praggnanandhaa, 2025 (kibitz #3)

I was trying to point out the difference in <length in names>.

XU has a very short name, and Pragg has a very long name.

<BUT I FORGOT> to actually say that in the post!
So my post doesn't make much sense....

Jun-13-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I am thinking of buying a new laptop.

Who cares about the size of the laptops HD drive? 500Gb, 1Tb, 2Tb?

Who cares?

You can buy a very portable memory sdmmc card, 512Gb, tiny, for 30-40 euros.

SO buy a laptop with a <SMALL HARD DRIVE>, and buy a big sdmmc card.

Jun-13-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Jon Pertwee (Dr Who) was always guaranteed to give a slightly nutty performance. I mean, in any programme or film in any role he will give top value!
Jun-15-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Saint Reinhold of Cologne, also known as Reinhold of Koln, Reinhold of Dortmund, Rainald, Reinold, Reinout, Reynold, Rinaldo, Rinold was a Benedictine monk.
Jun-15-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp:
<DON>: I hear that you are a good boy. A good Italian boy.

<VINCENT>: I am Don. I love my family.

<DON>: That's good. Do you speak Italian at home?

<VINCENT>: We do, Don. We love the Italian culture.

<DON>: It's good to hear that. We have roots. Tell me the numbers, count one to 21 in Italian.

<VINCENT>: Don, we don't really use Italian numbers in our household. We er....

<DON>: Well, what is the Italian for cat, dog, mouse?

<VINCENT>: Don, we don't really have those animals in our house...

Jun-20-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Where was King Solomon's toilet?

His toilet <before> the stables. The men's toilet would have been much smaller than the women's toilet (because he had 1000 wives).

The handicapped toilet would have been closest to the Temple, so that the lame and the halt would travel the shortest distance.

Solomon's stables would have created a huge stink from those horses. The stink from the horses would have drowned out the smell og King Solomon's poo.

It's an interesting theory.

Jun-22-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I made my own beer and it came out extremely well. It was very yesty, very very yesty. When I opened one of the bottles it foamed like a bastard, but that is a good thing.

My Rheumatologist ــــــــــﮩ٨ـ told me to avoid beer! Because of this thing called <purine> (not the cat food, I hope).

When I drank this beer I could feel the yeast affecting me immediately ᶠᶸᶜᵏме𓀐𓂸.

My gouty toes crankled, and straight away I totally graunched from my gooch to my hunkers. (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥)

My stomach was right keeched (doubled over). Feeling reet moaslins. Like nadgers tight squeezed.

I made that beer too strong!

Jun-22-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Elvis Costello and Russ Abbott both dress as teddy boys.
Jul-01-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp:
<***TRIPLE CAUTION DANGER WARNING🚰***>

<<<🦋🥺🤍🧸١٥٧٤♡

<<Tap water 🌊⋆。𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖°🫧is contaminated in the following counties:

<SURREY
ESSEX
KENT
GREATER LONDON
BERKSHIRE
& ALL THE OTHER ONES.

Do not drink water or <Doug Boileau>。˚○💦 ⋆˚࿔🌊。˚○.

DO NOT leave the house <(chemtrails)⋆.ೃ࿔☁️ ݁ ˖*༄ <ALWAYS wear a mask😷>>.>>>>

BTW, none of that affects me. I am doing fine.

Jul-01-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I know a load of you lot know that I live in Wimbledon, don't I?

I got a bus down to the Tennis Ground. It was bleedin PACKED.

At the gates I said "there is someone with my tickets don't they??" And, <DO you want a huge NOSE??> A flippant method way of threaten to crack open another human's nose.

They let me in, and I hung around Centre Court.
I hate tennis, BTW.

Some French player was going to the changing rooms and I was saying, "No press, no press" to the paparazzi, and I got allowed into the changing rooms.

I gave that French tennis player the most colossal godawful kick in his bollocks. I am not joking. LOL!!

So I put on his clothing and took his tennis bat and can you believe it I won!! 6-4 5-7 6-3 2-6 8-6.

GG.

Jul-03-25
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I went to confession but I couldn't resist bashing one out.
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