CARNIS AUTEM EST!
"Are you one of the frightened?"
- Boris Karloff
Voted Worst Fanirmod 9 years in a row.
I am a noted expert on Teplitz-Schönau (1922) upon which I have written nine "Schönographs": learned disquisitions on that intriguing tournament. Available at www.lulu.com for $0.01 each.
A great passion of mine is to fire up the old Merlin GTS autogyro and take her up to about 5,500 metres. I take a laptop with me but I no longer post while airborne since one post made me laugh so hard that I crashed my gyrocopter.
I was born in Hong Kong and in 2005 I was required to complete National Service in the Chinese military. I was taught how to fly a Xian H-6 jet bomber. One of my missions was to carpet-bomb the town of Andijan in Uzbekistan. A local chess tournament was taking place at the time and I later found out that I had killed 166 chess players which I believe to be the record.
I am an Honorary member of The Ancient and Honorable Artillery Company of Massachusetts and a Freeman of the City of Prince George, British Columbia and a Member of the Order of Skinner & PJ Proby's Horse and the Supreme Orator of the Order of the Acrimonious Virgin.
I have published an autobiography called <I BLEW A BILLION BUCKS ON BIKES BABES BARBITURATES BULLETS BOMBS AND BENONIS: <My Journey of Personal Discovery from Tunguska to Roswell Via Krakatoa and Hiroshima>>. It is available at Lulu.com for £0.01p.
I graduated from Leadway University, Hut 8, Zone B, Lagos, Nigeria with a thesis on speech act theory and moral language.
I once worked at LUSH and I have made a replica pistol out of black soap which I intend to present to Donald Trump when he visits Britain by jumping out of the crowd and handing it to him.
My philosophy is this:
Work like the ponies in coalmines.
Dance like the teardrop explodes.
Love like you're Frank in Blue Velvet.
Play chess like you're desperate to lose.
My father was from Limerick and my mother was from Chorlton-cum-Hardy, near Manchester.
My favourite players of all time are:
1 James Mason
2 Moshe Czerniak
3 Harry Nelson Pillsbury
4 Vladimir Simagin
5 Evgeni Ellinovich Sveshnikov
6 Gustav Richard Neumann
7 Carl Theodor Goering
8 Rudolf Swiderski
9 Siegbert Tarrasch
10 Hugh Alexander Kennedy
My birthday is 29th March. I have two young children.
I am a lover of ecclesiastical architecture. I like Hawksmoor, Gibbs and Archer. In 2017 I'm hoping to visit both Santiago de Compostela and Rome. North France, as well. It is not easy because I never learned to drive a petrol vehicle, although I am trained to drive an electric train.
I spend many hours listening to Old-Time Radio (OTR). I also like pre-code comics.
I am a big fan of St Edward Aleister Crowley (who was a very good chessplayer), but I am not a Thelemite.
I am a Freemason under the United Grand Lodge of England. I have also taken the extra degrees of Royal Arch, Mark Mason and R∴A∴M∴. Freemasonry takes up a large amount of my time and I enjoy every minute of it.