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Member since Aug-16-03 · Last seen Mar-27-17

"Are you one of the frightened?"
- Boris Karloff

Voted Worst Fanirmod 9 years in a row.

I am a noted expert on Teplitz-Schönau (1922) upon which I have written nine "Schönographs": learned disquisitions on that intriguing tournament. Available at for $0.01 each.

A great passion of mine is to fire up the old Merlin GTS autogyro and take her up to about 5,500 metres. I take a laptop with me but I no longer post while airborne since one post made me laugh so hard that I crashed my gyrocopter.

I was born in Hong Kong and in 2005 I was required to complete National Service in the Chinese military. I was taught how to fly a Xian H-6 jet bomber. One of my missions was to carpet-bomb the town of Andijan in Uzbekistan. A local chess tournament was taking place at the time and I later found out that I had killed 166 chess players which I believe to be the record.

I am an Honorary member of The Ancient and Honorable Artillery Company of Massachusetts and a Freeman of the City of Prince George, British Columbia and a Member of the Order of Skinner & PJ Proby's Horse and the Supreme Orator of the Order of the Acrimonious Virgin.

I have published an autobiography called <I BLEW A BILLION BUCKS ON BIKES BABES BARBITURATES BULLETS BOMBS AND BENONIS: <My Journey of Personal Discovery from Tunguska to Roswell Via Krakatoa and Hiroshima>>. It is available at for £0.01p.

I graduated from Leadway University, Hut 8, Zone B, Lagos, Nigeria with a thesis on speech act theory and moral language.

I once worked at LUSH and I have made a replica pistol out of black soap which I intend to present to Donald Trump when he visits Britain by jumping out of the crowd and handing it to him.

My philosophy is this:

Work like the ponies in coalmines.
Dance like the teardrop explodes.
Love like you're Frank in Blue Velvet.
Play chess like you're desperate to lose.

My father was from Limerick and my mother was from Chorlton-cum-Hardy, near Manchester.

My favourite players of all time are:
1 James Mason 2 Moshe Czerniak 3 Harry Nelson Pillsbury 4 Vladimir Simagin 5 Evgeni Ellinovich Sveshnikov 6 Gustav Richard Neumann 7 Carl Theodor Goering 8 Rudolf Swiderski 9 Siegbert Tarrasch 10 Hugh Alexander Kennedy

My birthday is 29th March. I have two young children.

I am a lover of ecclesiastical architecture. I like Hawksmoor, Gibbs and Archer. In 2017 I'm hoping to visit both Santiago de Compostela and Rome. North France, as well. It is not easy because I never learned to drive a petrol vehicle, although I am trained to drive an electric train.

I spend many hours listening to Old-Time Radio (OTR). I also like pre-code comics.

I am a big fan of St Edward Aleister Crowley (who was a very good chessplayer), but I am not a Thelemite.

I am a Freemason under the United Grand Lodge of England. I have also taken the extra degrees of Royal Arch, Mark Mason and R∴A∴M∴. Freemasonry takes up a large amount of my time and I enjoy every minute of it.

>> Click here to see offramp's game collections. Full Member
   Current net-worth: 1,800 chessbucks
[what is this?]

   offramp has kibitzed 13797 times to chessgames   [more...]
   Mar-27-17 Eduard Scotland
offramp: Strong hopes of a new referendum in the near future.
   Mar-26-17 Spassky vs Stein, 1971 (replies)
offramp: I do not know about Spassky's score against the King's Indian, but I know that Petrosian, Korchnoi and Kramnik all have huge plus scores against that opening.
   Mar-26-17 A Planinc vs Parma, 1976 (replies)
offramp: Today's GoTD Title is based on the consonance between the the winner's first name and the name of Mr Bruno Mars, born Peter Gene Hernandez, a Hawaiian gentleman who purveys popular beat music. He is famous for his extraordinary philanthropy.In 2016 he donated $212,100,000 to the St ...
   Mar-26-17 D Byrne vs Fischer, 1956
offramp: Both Byrne brothers were very nice people, but an eerie Proclaimerish quality forever haunted them.
   Mar-26-17 P Dely vs Szabo, 1962
offramp: Dely Plays A Dull-Arse.
   Mar-25-17 offramp chessforum (replies)
offramp: Every few months I take a look at some of the other forums to have a look at how the <Beautiful People> are getting on with their little feuds and fripperies. It is always interesting, and it always brings to mind Borges's comment about two bald men fighting over a comb.
   Mar-25-17 Kasparov vs Timman, 1991 (replies)
offramp: Black has a won position at the end. But it was a 25min game and a draw left Timman $73,600 richer. [DIAGRAM] 74...b3 75.Nc3+ Kc4 76.Na4 Ra7 77.Nb6+ Kb5 78.Nc8 Ra6. [DIAGRAM]
   Mar-25-17 Speelman vs Karpov, 1991
offramp: Speelman had lost the first game to Karpv, so he had to win this to stay in the competition, which had a $73,000 first prize. [DIAGRAM] Karpov seems to have closed up the kingside. Speelman has a punt with 27. d5!? Now 27...Bxd5 is fine for Black. But Karpov decides to use his ...
   Mar-25-17 Khalifman vs Kasparov, 1991
offramp: [DIAGRAM] Kasparov devises a good plan in this clash of World Champions. He plays 25...Ng8-h6-f7-g5. ***** In this position [DIAGRAM] Kasparov played 31...Qxf4. A bit stronger is 31...Qd4+ followed by 32...Rxf4. ***** In the final position [DIAGRAM] Black is threatening
   Mar-25-17 Beliavsky vs Gelfand, 1991
offramp: [DIAGRAM] 26...Nxc4. A fork. 27. Nf2! Now Gelfand wants more than to win the exchange with 27...Nxd6, so he has a great idea: 27...Rxf2. But White ignores the rook and plays 28. Bxc4! [DIAGRAM] Black counterattacks on the kingside and the game ends in a repetition.
(replies) indicates a reply to the comment.

English Chess Speaking

Kibitzer's Corner
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Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Game of the year
Aronian vs R Rapport, 2017
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: There was a French writer named François Dufrêne.
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I think that chess would be better if every ply was numbered instead of every move. So every odd move number is a White move and every even number is Black. There would be no need for those dratted ellipses for black moves: instead of 24...Ne5 it would be 48. Ne5.

It seems more logical to me but whoever decided to number only each pair of moves must have had some reason for doing so.

I wonder what they do in Go and Shogi.

Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: <jphamlore: I completely called it: <jphamlore: I think at this point of her chess career, the last thing Hou Yifan wants is to keep playing fellow women. This event's pairings are not doing her any favors.>

The modern paradox: Never have there been more ways of communicating, yet people simply can't find a way to talk to each other. The event's organizers believe they are doing Hou Yifan a favor when actually anyone who knows a thing about her career would know she would prefer to play strong male players over females at this point in her career.

Sadly no one is addressing the issue that ruined Judit Polgar's chances. Can there ever be a woman trained from a young age to be a universal player, capable of playing all openings as White instead of restricting herself to a narrow repertoire of either 1. e4 or 1. d4? Because that is the current trend for the best of the male players. Even Kramnik is more willing to open 1. e4 these days.>

Wow! He did completely call it. Good one.

Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: How often in 2016 did you physically set up a full chess set?

I think I did it thrice, playing with my daughter.

Feb-09-17  Howard: My personal response would be...not nearly enough times! I used to play over GM games frequently, but I just can't seem to find the motivation anymore. But, I'll always be devoted to chess!
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: "Coincidence increasingly haunts the Adept as he ages, so that eventually even miracles become commonplace to him."
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Another place I post to frequently is IMDB, but they are closing their message boards. What a bunch of rotters!

Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: They applauded his strong moves. They booed his weak moves. They rushed the stage when he won and carried him on their shoulders in to the street for champagne and dancing.
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: There is a torrent file for all recorded FICS games from November 1999 onwards.

The games have been converted into PGN format and each one has been played through and the score autochecked by Fritz 14 at 10 seconds/move.

Contents looks like this:

... etc ...
... etc ...

The total number of games is just over 1.74 billion.

The total download size is about 165 Gb, zipped.

Unzipped... I am not sure. has a searchable version of this data online.

Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I have three laptops and I am doing a new blundercheck of all the games with Stockfish 8 at 15 seconds per move.

Setting that up allowed me to see exactly how many games there were in this interesting collection.

It is much more than I thought:

2,518,172,389 games.

That shows how much FICS usage has increased in recent years.

Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Which matches for the World Chess Championship have been between players who were indisputably the World's number 1 and 2?
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: "Guinness was invented by English brewers who brewed a strong porter in the then English fashion, viz:

"Arthur Guinness, who founded a brewery in Dublin in 1759, might have been surprised that his drink would one day become such a potent national symbol. He was a committed unionist and opponent of Irish nationalism; before the Irish Rebellion of 1798 he was even accused of spying for the British authorities. His descendants continued to support unionism passionately – in 1913, one gave the Ulster Volunteer Force £10,000 (worth about £1 million, or $1.4 million, in today’s money) to fund a paramilitary campaign to resist Ireland being given legislative independence. The company was alleged to have lent men and equipment to the British army to help crush Irish rebels during the Easter Rising of 1916, afterwards firing members of staff whom it believed to have Irish-nationalist sympathies.

The beer the company has become most famous for – porter stout – was based on a London ale, a favourite of the street porters of Covent Garden and Billingsgate markets. Since 1886 the firm’s shares have been traded on the London Stock Exchange, and the company moved its headquarters to London in 1932, where it has been based ever since (it merged with Grand Metropolitan and renamed itself Diageo in 1997). As recently as the 1980s, the company has even considered disassociating itself from its Irish heritage. Worried about the impact on sales of the IRA’s terrorist campaign during the Troubles, Guinness came close in 1982 to re-launching the brand as an English beer brewed in west London. But as Northern Ireland’s situation improved in the 1990s, the company’s marketing strategy changed again towards marketing the beer as Irish, aiming its product at tourists in Ireland and the estimated 70 million people of Irish descent living around the world. Now the Guinness Storehouse, part of the original Dublin factory which was reopened as a tourist attraction in 2000, promotes Guinness to tourists as an Irish beer once again." ...

Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Cartoon: man falling from building writing in a book: "I am falling from a tall building. Expect to die very soon."

Cartoon: Bottom of man's torso upside-down, behind him a man holding two unattached bungee cords.

Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Ribli vs Yusupov, 2002 I am having a sweepstake about how long it will take for someone to mention "Alekhine's Gun" in the GoTD.

No later than 5am EST.

Mar-04-17  thegoodanarchist: How long did it take for the "Ribli's Believe it or etc." remark?
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: That was about 8 seconds!

Did you ever see my comment at Belov vs Nezhmetdinov, 1961 ?

<<Ringo van Flintoff had a chess career spanning three centuries! In 1798 he played the automaton Mephisto in Paris when he was aged only four!

He continued playing throughout his life and finally died at the chess board 103 years later in 1901!

A career which covered the eighteenth, nineteenth and twentieth centuries!>


I thought that was funny - but I think everyone else thought it was true LOL!

Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I have done it again!

99 44⁄100% prime.

Mar-09-17  thegoodanarchist: <offramp: Which matches for the World Chess Championship have been between players who were indisputably the World's number 1 and 2?>

At least 8:

Lasker - Steinitz World Championship (1894)

Lasker - Steinitz World Championship Rematch (1896)

Lasker - Capablanca World Championship Match (1921)

Capablanca - Alekhine World Championship Match (1927)

Fischer - Spassky World Championship Match (1972)

Karpov - Kasparov World Championship Match (1984)

Karpov - Kasparov World Championship Match (1985)

Karpov - Kasparov World Championship Rematch (1986)

Kasparov - Karpov World Championship Match (1987)

Kasparov - Karpov World Championship Match (1990)

Anand - Carlsen World Championship (2013)

Excuse me. I meant to write "At least 11"

Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Here is an update on the FICS file blundercheck.

<There is a torrent file for all recorded FICS games from November 1999 onwards. The games have been converted into PGN format and each one has been played through and the score autochecked by Fritz 14 at 10 seconds/move....>

Based on information received from recent postings I

***OF THE 3,327,268,818

which are downloadable from my site.

It is obvious that in a few years the entire database will be analysable within a few seconds.

I have recently added a huge swathe of games which have doubled the size of the database. Still free to download.

Details upon enquiry.

Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Now these things that were coming out towards him came in this manner: ten camels from the east and the tent wherein THE LORD had blessed him and his first-born on the third day. "Ye that I have not thought about, ye may eat, and weep."

And the land against Abel was corrupt; for there be God's host.

The dry land Jehovah has left. And he touched not the land of Amram but HE took them from him, and his brethren; saying:

"Arise and take my grave unto him!"

And Amram said, "O Jehovah, the land of Israel is in them. Rachel took my oath, when she and his brother are hid; and I will seek my fathers, and lay the love."

Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Greetings to all my friends of Irish heritage. Happy St Patrick's Day!☘️
Mar-17-17  thegoodanarchist: The Irish are blessed with the luck of the Nepalese.

The Nepalese, not so much.

Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Every few months I take a look at some of the other forums to have a look at how the <Beautiful People> are getting on with their little feuds and fripperies. It is always interesting, and it always brings to mind Borges's comment about two bald men fighting over a comb.
Premium Chessgames Member
  ketchuplover: A short while ago I dreamt/thought the reason Fischer forfeited game 2 of the Reykjavik match was that he had dreamt of a mate in 1 ply. This greatly disturbed him and he didn't recover until the next day.

Piece out:)

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