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| Apr-17-19 | | JimNorCal: "There is a pub ‘The Pawn Lounge’ in Alexandria near Dumbarton, Scotland" We have something in common! Near me is the Dumbarton Bridge.
It has no chess mural though.
Doesn't serve pints, either.
Hmm, maybe not so much in common ...
Seriously, nice article. |
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Apr-17-19
 | | Sally Simpson: ***
Hi Jim,
Why did you not say so earlier.
You could have crossed the Dumbarton bridge and met up for pints and blitz in 'The Pawn.' Looks like I have another 6 hour round trip to make. BTW that wee town, Alexandria, (do Crewe play there?) has a couple of smashing 2nd hand shops. Picked up some chess & Sci-Fi books and that jacket I'm wearing in the picture (£3.00) I threw the one I went there in into a bin. *** |
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Sep-03-19
| | Sally Simpson: ***
A recruit is being talked through his survival gear by his sergeant. ‘A knife, rations, map, chess set, compass, flares...’ “Wait a minute,” asks the recruit, “Why do I need a chess set.” “If you are alone and need help, take out the chess set and play over an ending.
Sooner or later someone will appear to tell you where you are going wrong.” *** |
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| Sep-03-19 | | JimNorCal: I can't think of any other chess jokes that I know.
Thanks! |
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Sep-04-19
| | Sally Simpson: ***
Hi Jim,
Born out of frustration after hearing yet again the 'chess nuts in an open foyer' gag. There is also the one about having dinner with Gary Kasparov, the table cloth was chequered, it took him 15 minutes to pass the salt. and: My dates with women are always failures, my opening moves are as old as MCO I. My wife left me for a Marshall and I won't Averbach. I'll stop there....
Was there not a thread here where you put jokes. *** |
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| Sep-04-19 | | morfishine: A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen." "Nah, he's not that smart," the friend replied. "I'm up 2 games to 1" |
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Sep-04-19
 | | Retireborn: <morfishine> Obviously the dog played the Collie opening. That one's got whiskers on it too. |
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Sep-04-19
| | Sally Simpson: ***
The Devil challenged God to a Hell v Heaven chess match. God said; 'Pointless, we have Capablanca, Fischer, Alekhine, Lasker, Pillsbury... I cannot think of any good players you may have," "You may have all the good players" replied the Devil, "...but I have all the arbiters!" (change the chess players to footballers and arbiters to referees - that is how I first heard it.) *** |
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Sep-04-19
 | | Diademas: <God said; 'Pointless, we have Capablanca, Fischer, Alekhine, Lasker, Pillsbury... I cannot think of any good players you may have,"> Access to Heaven seems to be a lot easier than I imagined. |
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Sep-04-19
| | Sally Simpson: ***
Apparently...All chess players get in but you must have a FIDE rating, it's the first thing St.Peter asks you. None chess players get wings and a harp. We get a pocket set. a mouth organ and the sheet music to: 'When The Saints Go Marching In.' *** |
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Sep-05-19
| | Diademas: <Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." [Unless he has a rating in excess of 2500.]> |
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Dec-09-19
| | Sally Simpson: ***
Have bash at the Christmas Quiz.
12 fairly easy questions/puzzles General knowledge, Chess jigsaw, Chess players charades...this kind thing. (1) One condition in Santa’s contract was not only to deliver toys to every corner
of the globe (in this case the four corners of the chessboard) but to also take out ‘The Grinch.’ This is known as Santa’s clause. This mate in four moves credited to W. A. Shrinkman does it perfectly. 
click for larger viewWhite to play and mate in four moves. (Santa is the Rook, deliver all the presents and nobble the Grinch which is on h1) https://www.redhotpawn.com/chess-bl... *** |
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Dec-30-19
| | Sally Simpson: ***
What famous game is this: (Not opening..famous game) https://www.redhotpawn.com/imgu/blo... Answer here:
https://www.redhotpawn.com/chess-bl... Plus me getting a Green Lantern type ring that turns me into Chess Super Hero. *** |
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Mar-28-20
| | Sally Simpson: ***
I've been trying to trace the statement saying that Nepo does not like being called Nepo and I was in future going to refer to him as the player formerly known as 'Nepo.' I found it but a few posts later we discover that someone actually asked Nepo about it and Nepo does not mind being called Nepo. https://twitter.com/TarjeiJS/status... Where we also learn:
'Oh Ancient Chimp' is an anagram of Nepomniachtchi ---
What do you call a chess player who plays with the dead. A Nepophiliac.
*** |
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Mar-28-20
| | Sally Simpson: ***
Magnus Carlsen may do a question and answer session over at Red Hot Pawn. https://www.redhotpawn.com/chess-bl... I hope everyone and their family and friends are OK during this virus thing. Please all take care. *** |
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Apr-28-20
| | Sally Simpson: ***
They (the people that build these things) have just put a new street in Edinburgh and...honour of honours...they have named it after me! https://www.redhotpawn.com/chess-bl... *** |
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May-27-20
| | Sally Simpson: ***
Held my own garden chess tournament.
With Hou Yifan, Mickey Adams, Ding Liren and Wes So. Pic of Yifan and Mickey.
https://www.redhotpawn.com/imgu/blo... Keeping results and games a secret - will sell to highest E-Bay bidder. Granddaughter ran Chess Souvenir Stall from her garden 20 miles away. https://www.redhotpawn.com/imgu/blo... *** |
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May-27-20
| | Diademas: Brilliant Geoff!
I must warn you that I got my mittens on the score sheets, and intend to publish them under my own brand Diademas-chess.com, totally without crediting you or your granddaughter... |
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May-27-20
| | Sally Simpson: ***
Hi Diademas:
I was going to use the games between them on here but change the names over. (Adams vs Yifan Hou, 2007 saying Yifan played as White.) Nobody would notice.
*** |
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Jul-23-20
| | Sally Simpson: ***
With the lock in lifted I eventually got around to paying a visit to the street put up a few months ago named after me. The following day someone nicked the sign! https://www.redhotpawn.com/chess-bl... *** |
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Nov-27-20
| | Sally Simpson: ***
I have no idea where to put this. So here will do.
Chess Life have PDf'd the whole of their November 2020 issue for you to download for free. Articles on the The Queen's Gambit TV series, Andrew Soltis on internet chess, Jacob Aagaard on the good things and bad things about a chess computer...much much more. Puzzles, Problems and Pictures. https://new.uschess.org/sites/defau... I was going to put it on the 'Kibitzers Cafe' but Harry Lime frequents there and he is currently doing is his EEEEEEEEEEE thing. He is a crazy as a box of frogs. *** |
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Nov-28-20
 | | fredthebear: This is the place for your link <SS>. Chandler understands how things work around here. Yes, <HL> has all but ruined the practical exchange of information at Kibitzers Cafe with mindless word pollution. Management does not bother, turning a blind eye to harry's constant personal attacks, abusive language and useless, repetitive posts. His litter encourages copycat gutter kibitzing, which has no value to respectful folks and learned academic types who may wish to chitchat. Better to have the articles here for safe keeping, especially for retention over the sands of time. I look forward to reading them, and others surely will too. Otherwise, the articles would quickly fall off the page at Kibitzers Cafe much like yanking a roll of toilet paper. |
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Nov-28-20
 | | moronovich: <fredthebear>
CG has lost several members during the last years. Allowing HL to puke and pee in every corner doesn´t make things better. But it seems the admins call it "free speech".
A very sad case ): |
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Nov-28-20
 | | perfidious: <Geoff>, never heard that version of Satan vs The Wise One Above; the line which I read long ago featured Hall of Fame baseball Joe McCarthy in a colloquy as the manager of the Heavenly team. Do not recall much else, but McCarthy commented to the Devil (with Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig et al in his lineup) that he had a loaded team. The response:
<Yeah, Joe, but I've got all the umpires> |
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Dec-31-20
| | Sally Simpson: ***
Been doing the Blog at Red Hot Pawn for 10 years so gathered together some of the memories and jokes I used over the past 10 years. (no games or positions - one amazing mate in 9, then happy memories.) https://www.redhotpawn.com/chess-bl... *** |
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