The Jewish and Chinese Pilots

A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain.

His co-pilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, 'I don't like Chinese.'

'No like Chinese?' asks the co-pilot, '....why not?'

'You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that's why !'
' No, no,' the co-pilot protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese.'

'Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese... doesn't matter, you're all alike!'

There's a few minutes of silence.

'I no rike Jews either!' the copilot suddenly announces.

'Oh yeah, why not?' asks the captain.

'Jews sink Titanic.'

'What? That's insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!' exclaims the captain, 'It was an iceberg!'

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Short vs I Cheparinov, 2008

<lost in space>:

<if your horse is dead,dismount>

We should not buy a stronger horsewhip, we should not restructure that an other department gets the dead horse, we should not search for persons/programs being experts in riding dead horses, we should not buy a new software, which makes dead horses quicker, etc.

keypusher: <I would like Kramnik less if some of his most fervent enemies here (WWP, KKDEREK, various Bulgarians) weren't such idiots. If Woody Wood Pusher hates you, you can't be all bad. Conversely, I am a big Karpov fan, but WWP is a much bigger one. Makes me wonder about Karpov.>

zanshin: <CG> The logout feature doesn't seem to work in Firefox 3.0.7. ... I upgraded to Firefox 3.0.7 at my work computer, tried it again -- and it still fails for me. Maybe it's just me.

WannaBe: Cookie issue?

blacksburg: <Cookie issue?> cookies? where?

Taken from the chessgames.com chessforum.

Leko vs Aronian, 2009

<outplayer: <acirce> Is it english a very hard language to understand in the phrase construction or is it that Germans can't speak english?>

March-19-09

1) <MageOfMaple:> <Ed Trice: Unlike Labate, I don't post everything online. It's not the best use of my time, and, quite frankly, I just don't care.>

<Well, of course the man doesn't have time. This is a man who raised $15 MILLION for a Gothic Chess tournament, probably the largest sum of money for any board game tournament in history! (For comparison, the largest cash prize for an ordinary Chess tournament that I can find is only $500,000.) This is a man who was offered a seven-figure sum for the rights to Gothic Chess by none other than Donald Trump and refused the paltry sum. This is a man who was granted a private audience with the legendary Bobby Fischer. And, as if that wasn't enough, as one of the premier purveyors of Martian Real Estate, he served such exclusive clientele as California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. Of course he's too busy to post court papers. It wasn't even worth his time to show up in court even with $21 MILLION dollars on the line.

Now, I know what you're probably thinking. The Great Man just made the time to grace us with several sentences. Why couldn't he have simply posted the docket number? Well, forget it! That's not how he rolls! The Great Man tests our faith. When Ed Trice rules the world, only the faithful will be saved. At present count, that's only about three people, but hey, Noah only saved seven.>

<So, for God's sake, cut the man some slack. He's busy revolutionizing Chess, colonizing Jupiter, and helping old ladies cross the street.>

March-20-09