User Profile: phony benoni

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Phony Benoni
Member since Feb-10-06 · Last seen Jun-11-22

Greetings, O Seeker After Knowledge! You have arrived in Dearborn, Michigan (whether you like it or not), and are reading words of wisdom from a player rated 2938--plus or minus 1000 points.
However, I've retired from serious play--not that I ever took playing chess all that seriously. You only have to look at my games to see that. These days I pursue the simple pleasures of finding games that are bizarre or just plain funny. I'd rather enjoy a game than analyze it.
For the record, my name is David Moody. This probably means nothing to you unless you're a longtime player from Michigan, though it's possible that if you attended any US Opens from 1975-1999 we might have crossed paths. Lucky you.
If you know me at all, you'll realize that most of my remarks are meant to be humorous. I do this deliberately, so that if my analysis stinks to High Heaven I can always say that I was just joking.
As you can undoubtedly tell from my sparkling wit, I'm a librarian in my spare time. Even worse, I'm a cataloger, which means I keep log books for cattle. Also, I'm not one of those extroverts who sit at the Reference Desk and help you with research. Instead, I spend all day staring at a computer screen updating and maintaining information in the library's catalog. The general public thinks Reference Librarians are dull. Reference Librarians think Catalogers are dull.
My greatest achievement in chess, other than tricking you into reading this, was probably mating with king, bishop and knight against king in a tournament game. I have to admit that this happened after an adjournment, and that I booked up like crazy before resuming. By the way, the fact I have had adjourned games shows you I've been around too long.
My funniest moment occurred when I finally got a chance to pull off a smothered mate in actual play. You know, 1.Nf7+ Kg8 2.Nh6+ Kh8 3.Qg8+ Rxg8 4.Nf7#. When I played the climactic queen check my opponent looked at the board in shocked disbelief and said, "But that's not mate! I can take the queen!"

Finally, I must confess that I once played a positional move, back around 1982. I'll try not to let that happen again.

>> Click here to see phony benoni's game collections.

   Phony Benoni has kibitzed 18634 times to chessgames [more...]

   Jun-11-22 M Blau vs Keres, 1959

Phony Benoni: Not a good recommendation for the DERLD. Out of 59 moves, White makes only three in Black's half of the board. And two of those conist of 3.Bb5 and 6.Bxc6.

   Jun-11-22 chessgames.com chessforum

Phony Benoni: Er, it's back. Karpov vs Timman, 1988

   Jun-10-22 Orlo Milo Rolo

Phony Benoni: Marco!

   Jun-10-22 Lilienthal vs Bondarevsky, 1947

Phony Benoni: Another one for you King Hunters. Black's monarch travels fron g8 to b8, then takes the Great Circle Route back to h3 before calling it a day.

   Jun-10-22 GrahamClayton chessforum

Phony Benoni: <GrahamClayton> I've posted a question for you at L T Magee vs J Holland, 1948

   Jun-10-22 L T Magee vs E L Holland, 1948

Phony Benoni: <GrahamClayton> The source you cite, <Chess Review, May 1948, p. 24>, gives Black's name as <E Holland> "Chess Life" (June 5, 1948, p. 1) has a table of results giving <E L Holland>. That form also appears in USCF rating supplements for a player fro ...

   Jun-09-22 Biographer Bistro

Phony Benoni: SkinnVer Here Among the Fold?

   Jun-09-22 Flohr vs Bondarevsky, 1947

Phony Benoni: Black's bishop makes me think of Godzilla emerging from the depths of the ocean to wreak havoc. However, in the end it's his Two Little Friends who steal the show. Well, maybe not so litt.

   Jun-06-22 W Ritson-Morry vs G T Crown, 1947

Phony Benoni: it was the last round. Rison-Morry was mired in last place. These things happen.

   Jun-06-22 W Adams vs M Kagan, 1947

Phony Benoni: Some more informztion. The game was published in <Chess Review>, March 1948, p. 23. Black's name is given as "M Kagan", and the location as "Massachusetts". There is no other game data, but I think we can now safely assume Black is <Milton Kagan>. Earlier in the ...

indicates a reply to the comment.

Living in the Past

< Earlier Kibitzing · PAGE 501 OF 914 · Later Kibitzing>
Aug-16-13		Deus Ex Alekhina: The Tigers? Well, they seem to have patented the "crush, then rust" method of losing the World Series. They stomp thru the playoffs, then wait, grow stale, and rust before they get their opponent for the world series. BTW, the accusation that Verlander was juicing kind of tarnishes all of the spectacular pitching performances of the Tigers this year as well as in the past. But the Lions are making fun news with their Norwegian kicker, "Kickalicious", whom they found on the internet! As for the secret identity, "Very Attractive Pen" is not it, way off base, try again.

Aug-16-13		Travis Bickle: Hey Phony, them Bears looked pretty good last night against San Diego! Rookie MLB John Bostic from Florida made a Butkus type hit!! A rookie kick returner brought 1 back to the 4 yard line! Another Rookie blocked a punt inside The Chargers 20 yd. line! P.S. I know it's only pre-season but My Bears are looking pretty good with this new Headcoach Marc Trestman! ; P

Aug-16-13		WannaBe: Got a pre-season Traiders-Bears game coming...

Aug-16-13		Travis Bickle: <WannaBe> Outstanding! P.S. How do the Raiders look so far Bugs?

Aug-16-13		WannaBe: <Travis Bickle> Silver/Black, and probably blue/purple all over... =)

Aug-17-13		Phony Benoni: Just wanted everyone to know I may not be around much the next couple of weeks. I'm having eye trouble again, limiting the time I can spend here. Why does all this stuff happen to my "good" left eye, when my right eye which has been all but useless since birth remains in perfect health otherwise? Don't believe all that crap about exercise doing you good.

Aug-17-13		Phony Benoni: <Eggman> I've referred your question over to the Biographer Bistro. Sorry, but I'm just not up to it right now.

Aug-17-13		TheFocus: <Don't believe all that crap about exercise doing you good.> Hilarious!

Aug-17-13		Travis Bickle: Mr Benoni, I hope your eyes heal quickly! We got NFL kickoffs pretty soon! Ya can't miss that!! P.S. I hear Rodney Dangerfield had a really good Doctor named Dr. Vinnie Boombatz, I'm asking around to find what his number is. Get Well Soon, Your Pal, Travis

Aug-18-13		WannaBe: Scherzer Cy Young, maybe MVP, for Scher!

Aug-20-13		Phony Benoni: Though I remain capabla of smart-alecky remarks, anything requiring serious thought remains beyond me, mainly because I can't see the screen clearly. Let me tell you how this came about. You may remember that I had eye surgery at the end of April. Swelling naturally ensued, so I was given a steropid-based eyedrop called "Prednisone" to help reduce the swelling. Resolving myself to a lifetime ban from MLB, I squireted away. Now, a bad side effect of Prednisone is that it increases the pressure in your eyes, and with my family history of glaucoma this is a concern. So when I went three weeks ago and the pressure ws 37 where it shoul be 10 to 12, alarm ensued. I was to stop the Prednisone immediately, and begin taking a pill to help relieve the pressure. Its relatively minor side effects included blurred vision and the desire to sleep eighteen hours a day. The drastic side effect was a metallic taste in the mouth which renders carbonated beverages unpalatable. So last Thursday, I went to the glaucoma specialist. The pressure had actually risen to 38. One doctor said "Hmmm." Another doctor said, "Uh-Oh!" The nurse, untrained in such rapid and precise diagnosis, called a maintenance crew to stand by. The first doctor said, "It looks like surgery may be necessary." THe maintenance crew entered and mopped up the two inches of sweat which now covered the floor. The second doctor--fortunately the senior--prescirbed a different pitt and an additional eyedrop. He said, "We'll give you one more week. If the pressure's not down, then surgery the next Tuesday." Collapsing into my medicine chair at home, I wondered how this could happen. You don't suppose... I picked up the first eyedrop. Nevanec. Check. I picked up the second eyedrop. Alphagan. Check. I picked up the third eyedrop. Hey, that's not how you spell dorzolamide. I'll bet you were unaware that I am acquainted with the variios barts of the English language that followed. However, we pick up the scene on my neighbor's front porch. "Could you read the name of the medince printed on this box?" "Prednisone". "Hmm-hm." I removed the bottle from the box. "Could you read the name of the medicine printed on the bottle?" "Prednisone." "Hmm-mm." I replaced the bottle in the box, and handed it to him. "I understand you are leaving on a trip to San Francisco?" "Yes." "Would you mind taking this box and hurling it into the Pacific Ocean? It would give me great peace of mind." "No problem at all." "Thank you." My neighbors humor me.

Aug-21-13		jessicafischerqueen: <Phony Benoni> I am sorry you have to put up with such vexing eye problems these days. If I read your post correctly, you were given the wrong medicine, and now maybe the problem will be reduced if you stop taking this wrong medicine? I hope the solution can be that simple. Take care, Jess

Aug-21-13		TheFocus: <Phony> I hope this heals soon.

Aug-21-13		Phony Benoni: <JFQ> No, I continuted taking a medicatiion after being told to stop. Total Patient Error. <TheFocus> I'll know tomorrow. There seems to be some improvement.

Aug-21-13		WannaBe: I am reporting you to Bud Selig.

Aug-21-13		jessicafischerqueen: Who is Bug Selig?

Aug-21-13		dakgootje: <JFQ> Bugs Elig is his cousin.

Aug-21-13		jessicafischerqueen: My Dear <Dak> and so the waters deepen.. thank you for confusing me even further, but I'm intrigued. I've changed the name of my forum in honor of this mysterious person.

Aug-21-13		dakgootje: <My Dear <Dak> and so the waters deepen..> Good to hear - only deep waters are fun to dive into :) I'm sure B. will be delighted to hear.

Aug-23-13		Phony Benoni: Pressure down from 38 to 27. Still not good, but enugh of an impprovement to delay surgery for a couple of wekks of observation.

Aug-25-13		Shams: Yankees pitcher uncorking some serious voodoo: http://www.cbssports.com/mlb/eye-on...

Aug-25-13		Phony Benoni: Tragic numbers beginning to pop up, even before the end of August. Houston is at 2 to drop out of divisional competition (Texas), 5 out of wild card contention (akland at the moment). Miami is at 5 to lose the division (Atlanta), 9 to drop out of the Wild Card race (Cincinnaiti. Looks like the Cubs will survive past Labor Day. Next goal: to still be alive when the Bears' season starts.

Aug-25-13		Jim Bartle: White Sox coach gets ejected during the exchange of lineup cards: http://wapc.mlb.com/play/?content_i... And yes, that was one hellacious pitch to Longoria.

Aug-25-13		Travis Bickle: Hey Phony, Your Lions looked real good against The Pats! http://www.nfl.com/gamecenter/20130... My Bears played a solid 1st half against The Raiders but fell off in the second half when the starters left but they still won the game. P.S. Don't forget to circle September 29th & also November 10th when the Lions play Da Bears! I'm going on a hunting trip this weekend, as I have to bag a Grizzly so I can get The head to wear to this years games. ; P 2013 Results/Schedule (All Times Eastern) Sep 8 - vs. Minnesota, 1:00 PM ET Sep 15 - at Arizona, 4:05 PM ET Sep 22 - at Washington, 1:00 PM ET Sep 29 - vs. Chicago, 1:00 PM ET Oct 6 - at Green Bay, 1:00 PM ET Oct 13 - at Cleveland, 1:00 PM ET Oct 20 - vs. Cincinnati, 1:00 PM ET Oct 27 - vs. Dallas, 1:00 PM ET Nov 3 - Open Nov 10 - at Chicago, 1:00 PM ET Nov 17 - at Pittsburgh, 1:00 PM ET Nov 24 - vs. Tampa Bay, 1:00 PM ET Nov 28 - vs. Green Bay, 12:30 PM ET Dec 8 - at Philadelphia, 1:00 PM ET Dec 16 - vs. Baltimore, 8:40 PM ET Dec 22 - vs. NY Giants, 4:05 PM ET Dec 29 - at Minnesota, 1:00 PM ET

Aug-26-13		Travis Bickle: Phony you ought to take pre-season football more seriously, that way when your Tigers bomb out again you can be prepared for NFL football.

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